Chapter 13 – Somewhere, Somehow

March 30, 2001

He's acting normal, but I can tell, something is wrong. We sit in a grassy park under a tree that's blossoms are just beginning to bloom. It is still early for a picnic lunch so the park is quite empty, but with a slight warming spell, it is rather pleasant.

But there is something Draco isn't telling me. Does he think a simple healing spell will prevent me from noticing that someone has broken his nose? I know the slight signs that a magical healing leaves behind. There is also something in the way he moves. He's in pain.

He acts normal, handing me a homemade looking sandwich from the basket, smiling. He thinks I won't notice. Somebody hurt him and he isn't telling me.

My mind wanders through every possibility. Could it have been one of the other Slytherins from school? Could it be someone from his past as a Death Eater? Could it be someone who's life he ruined during those dark times?

I know, there was a lot of pain that went around during the war, a lot of loss, fear, destruction, death. Even so, I thought, since he told me what he had this morning, that the secrecy was finished.

Maybe it's my need for control, my desperation for answers, but I have a feeling it's something much more dire that calls for me to break this awkward falsity. I'm worried. I'm afraid for his safety, afraid that he will be taken from me before anything can really start between us. He is all I have left, the only person who really cares what happens to me and I can't lose him.

I take a deep breath.

"Stop it," I whisper.

"What?"

"Just, stop pretending that everything's alright," I explain.

"I don't understand," he replies.

"I think you do. Something happened after I left this morning. Didn't it?" I put my hand over his and give it a small squeeze. "Remember what you told me earlier? It doesn't have to come down to a solo battle?" He stays silent, staring intently at the ground in front of us. "Please, tell me. What happened?"

He closes his eyes and sighs. "I guess you deserve to know," he whispers, more to himself than to me. His grey eyes drift to mine, serious and intense. "My father. My father's what happened," he nearly growls.

"He hurt you?" I ask softly.

He chuckles ruefully, shaking his head. "Only after I hurt his ego a bit."

"What do you mean?"

"He saw us, knew I brought you to the Manor and wanted you never to return. He called you a mudblood so I told him to look in the mirror and he'd find one."

My hand flies over my mouth to hide the laugh that bubbles up from within me.

"You called your father, Lucius Malfoy, a mudblood," I clarify, still trying to prevent myself from laughing.

Oh how I wish I could have seen his face! The image my mind pulls up is hilarious.

"Yes, I did. I guess it is a bit funny," he says, a smile pulling at his lips. "He sure didn't think so."

"I can imagine!" But then I remember what really did happen and my smile drops. He had a reaction and it wasn't funny. He hit his own son. "Draco, I'm sorry." I shake my head. "I shouldn't be laughing. He hurt you."

"There's something else," he tells me, his eyes regaining that sombre demeanor. "He threatened you. Well, us really, but mostly you. He doesn't want you at the Manor." He pauses, letting the words sink in. "If you want to go somewhere else," he continues. "I'll set you up in a hotel."

I open my mouth to argue but he doesn't let me. "I don't want you at your flat alone. I don't care if you think it's fine, it's not. Weasley knows where you live, he's already broken in once, and I don't want to find out what else he's capable of."

I get a warm sensation growing in my chest. He really cares. He cares about me enough to stand up for me, to offer to get me into a hotel, probably a nice one. He cares enough that he doesn't want any risk of something happening to me.

But then I remember my promise to myself. I need the Malfoy library if I'm going to discover what the hell happened during our kiss, why Draco was able to somehow know about my nightmare.

"And what if I want to stay at the Manor?" I ask slowly.

Draco seems surprised, as if he thought I would wish to be gone from the Manor as soon as possible.

"Why?"

"Truthfully? The library. And, I trust you Draco. You said you would protect me. You knew your father wouldn't approve, you knew what could happen, what he's capable of, and you said you would protect me. I trust you." The smile reappears and it is a beautiful thing.

"Alright," he agrees. "But know, if at any time you don't feel comfortable, tell me and I'll get you out. I already told him I would protect you even if it meant cursing him."

We are silent for a moment before I ask, "Do you think he'll try something?"

Draco shrugs. "He isn't really one to do his own dirty work, but he has these ideas about me, about his beliefs in blood superiority. If Voldemort did happen to come back," I shiver at the mere idea of it, "my father would follow him without a second thought. He thinks I've lost my way and you're the one responsible. I wouldn't underestimate him."

I take a deep breath, thinking. What do I remember about the trials? Lucius Malfoy got out of doing time in Azkaban because he defected, he helped name other Death Eaters, he said he was finished with acting on his prejudice. But what was his exact sentence? I remember it was big in the press that he had gotten off and everyone was complaining about his sentence being too light.

House arrest. And there was something else. It hits me. "He can't use magic," I say. "Can he really be that dangerous without it?"

Draco sighs. "Well, he is very capable of harming others, even without magic, and he has the house elves completely terrified of him. He can still order them to do whatever the hell he wants them to, and they will obey. So in a way, he still does have magic at his disposal, he's personally just not allowed to conduct it."

"So, he could get the elves to hurt me?" I ask, thinking out loud.

"In theory."

"What's he doing to the poor things?" I whisper, appalled that someone could use the creatures that way.

"You don't want to know. It's not good. But it keeps them doing what he wants them to do, so he doesn't care. And there isn't much I can do to stop him." He shakes his head sadly. "He won't listen to me anymore. I'm just a disappointment. In his opinion, I'm lost, losing my mind. My mother might be able to, but I don't want to put her in harms way."

"He hits her?" I ask softly.

"I've never seen it, but I have my suspicions. He gets angry and takes it out on whoever is nearest. She can still use magic so she could be covering things up."

"I'm sorry," I tell him.

"Don't be," he says. "There's nothing you can do about it." He pauses. "We've talked enough about my morning. How was yours?"

"Well, mine wasn't all that much better." I take a deep breath. "Harry dropped by."

"And that's a bad thing?" he asks, trying to understand.

"Not really," I admit. "Just a bit awkward." I push some hair behind my ear. "You see, he hasn't been around much and we haven't talked in a while."

"So why did he now?"

"Ron," I simply reply.

"Weasley? What's he done now?"

I wonder how much I should tell him. He has been so open with me today and I have shared practically nothing. He deserves more, but that means saying things out loud and reliving those memories; both difficult to do. I wish things could have gone back to the way they were before the war with us three, but it didn't work out that way and it makes for a complicated mess.

I remember Draco's words from earlier, that it's freeing to let the weight of everything I have been piling on top of myself slide onto someone else, that I don't have to do all this alone.

I close my eyes. "I think it's time you know what happened," I say. Letting my eyes open again, I see his features have softened with genuine concern.

"Only if you're ready to tell me. I know, it's difficult," he assures me.

"I think I am," I reply. Maybe. Maybe it's time. My heart is thundering in my chest, and I realise I'm afraid. Why am I afraid? Because nobody else knows knows. Nobody except Ron.

"So, you know about what happened to Fred, right?" I ask sadly.

"He was killed?" Draco replies softly.

I nod. "It was really hard on Ron. He'd never lost anyone before and he didn't know how to handle it." I pause. "Our first kiss was during the battle and we started dating after the war was over. He seemed sad, which was expected, but other than that he seemed fine. But things started to change. The smallest thing would set him off, he got the strangest ideas in his head and he wouldn't be able to let it go."

I look out at the field, the brightness of the green in the light of the sun. "When it came out that the ministry was going to give out rewards for war heroics, Ron told me I didn't deserve one, that I needed to give it up or else he would spread rumours about me; rumours serious enough to put me in Azkaban if he fabricated proof."

I turn my eyes back to Draco. "Now, I'm not one to care about a reputation all too much and I didn't want to end up in prison so I stood down, let him have it. I knew he was hurting and did my best to help him. But he was beyond help."

I clear my throat. "I stayed with him a while after that. Too long in fact. It was after I moved in with him, after Ginny and Harry were married, that things got really bad. When he added physical abuse to what I later realized was psychological abuse, I couldn't stay."

Draco's hands ball into fists at my words, but he doesn't say anything.

"I knew how short his temper was and that, along with the things he had now convinced himself I did, led to a very bad combination. I realized what the war really did to him, and it was devastating. The sweet, bumbling Ron that I wanted to believe so badly was still in there, somewhere, he was gone."

I take another long breath and stare at the ground in front of me. "So I left. I went to America for a few months to get away from everything for a little while. When I came back, Ron had convinced everyone that I cheated on him, that I ran because I was caught, and people believed him; especially Ginny. Harry is still Harry and wanted to make things right again, but things have been tense."

"Weasley? How could he possibly convince people that you, Hermione Granger, the most careful, rule-following, kind person, cheated on him?" Draco asked, astounded.

I shrug. "I don't know exactly. Apparently he had some sort of evidence. He left shortly after that himself, saying he just couldn't be around me anymore, and I didn't know he was back until the letters. That's what Harry wanted to talk with me about. Ron's back and apparently he is ready to forgive me."

"Forgive you?! But you didn't do anything wrong!"

I didn't realise how good it would feel to hear someone else say those words. Draco supports me, he cares about me, he believes me. And it feels amazing.

"He's playing the hero in all this and Harry is too quick to believe the things Ron says. He just wants us all to be friends again and put all this behind us, but he doesn't know the reasons why things happened the way they did."

"Have you told him?" Draco asks.

I look down. "No."

"Well, maybe you should. It sounds like Potter would want to know that he's trusting the wrong person. I'm sure he doesn't want to hurt you," he suggests.

I've wanted to tell Harry for a long time, but I was afraid that he wouldn't believe me and it would ruin any chance of maintaining even the small bit of friendship we may still have. I'm still afraid. But Draco's right. He would want to know.

"Maybe you're right." I pause for a moment, quickly going over the pros and cons in my head. "I will," I decide. "I will tell him." I look to Draco. "Monday," I add, causing him to laugh and shake his head.


Author's Note:

So, not a whole lot went on in this chapter, but hopefully it was still somewhat entertaining. It was mostly just explanations. What do you think about the situation with Ron? Why is he back? What does he want? Let me know what you think!

Thank you so much for the reviews on the last chapter! I'm working full time now, and with kids so I am super exhausted. But seeing a review in my inbox really makes me smile and encourages me to keep writing. I love hearing from you!

Next chapter I have planned is a fun one. I think Narcissa is going to make another appearance and maybe we'll learn a little something when Hermione researches what happened with that kiss.

Thanks for reading and I'll see you next Sunday.

P.S. - I'm also writing a bunch of oneshots for a writing competition I'm in, most are Dramione. So if you're looking for something else to read, check them out!