"Steve?!" Tony gasped as he jerked awake. Looking around wildly, he tried to focus on where he was. Had it all been a dream? Were Steve and the boys really gone?
"Slow, deep breaths cousin. That's it, breath slowly, here, try and drink this. You need something to keep you hydrated." A soft voice spoke from Tony's left.
Tony turned his gaze towards the sound. "Avie," He said weakly, his voice coming out as a soft croak. "S-steve...Peter a-and Johnny? Wh-where are they, tell me...please..." He took the cup held out to him and drank the water greedily. "Avie, where is my family?" He gasped out, he wanted to know if he had been dreaming or not.
She smiled at him, a soft smile that helped calm him down. "The boys are watching TV in their room and Steven is on his way down from ICU. We can go see him in a few moments. You need to get something to eat and more water in your system first."
"No, I-I want to see Steve now. I'll go," He groaned as he tried to sit up and the room spun slowly. "I'll go on my own if I have to." Gasping, Tony opened his eyes and slowly tried to sit up again. "Aveline?"
She sighed softly, "Come, you will not rest until you have your way. I told everyone it would have just been better to put you both in the same room but they were afraid you'd disturb Steven."
"I wouldn't..." Tony started to argue but was cut off.
"Yes you very well would! You'd have all the doctors and nurses quitting because you were being an ass to them." Aveline gave a soft huff as she helped Tony out the door and down the hallway. "You're going to have to go slow Tony. Steven isn't fully out of the woods yet and the boys need you." She turned to look at him and smiled as he nodded his head.
Tony glanced at the rooms they passed, wondering which one the boys were in. When they stopped in front of a room at the opposite end of the corridor, Tony frowned. "Avie, why..."
"Dad?"
Tony turned to look through the open door. His face instantly lit up at the sight of both Peter and Johnny. "Hey guys! How do you feel, do you need anything? We can get you something to eat if you're hungry or thirsty. When was the last time you..."
Peter grinned and Johnny laughed. "We're fine for now dad but ummm, Aunt Pepper said that you, uh, that you guys found Pop?" Peter looked from Tony to Aveline then back. The bright baby blue eyes watched them intently, trying to gauge their reactions on whether they were going to tell them the truth or not. He glanced over at his younger brother, noticing the flush on his face. "Johnny, hey, you ok?"
Johnny looked at the other three in the room. He wanted to believe what everyone else was saying but couldn't. For three years he and Tony had been told Steve and Peter were dead and now...now they weren't? "I-I don't understand why any of this happened. Why Pop and Peter?" He could hear the tears in his voice and stopped talking to hold them back. Turning shining ocean blue eyes to Tony, Johnny looked up at him. "Dad..."
Tony moved towards the bed where both boys sat. "It's a long, complicated story but we'll explain it to you as soon as your father is better." He grinned at the twin looks of hopefulness. "Yes, we found Steve but I-I'm not...I don't know how he's doing, yet. He was in the OR when I last saw him..."
"T-they took the serum from him dad. They hurt him when they took it from him." Peter said softly. He could remember hearing Steve's cries of pain as they'd done what no one else had been able to. "He was so sick, after and t-they wouldn't leave him alone to rest a-and I tried..." Peter looked up at Tony, "I swear dad, I tried to protect him but they would...they came and took pop away a-and they would hurt him and I-I couldn't help. They would lock me in the room and I could hear pop telling them no o-or stop..." Peter was shaking, the anger and fear he'd felt at the time coming back full force. "I-I tried to help him dad, I swear to you..." He looked up at Tony anxiously, trying to convince him as best he could.
"I know you did Pete, never doubted you would." He leaned over and ran his fingers through the dark curls, enjoying the feel of them against his fingers. Tony didn't want them to think about what had happened. He wanted them to concentrate on getting better and then they would find a way to handle what happened over the past three years. "I wish I had been able to find you both sooner. It's been hell for Johnny and me. Without you two, it's been hard to see life the same way." Tony sat down between them, pulling them closer and hugging them as tight as possible. He was mindful of their injuries and casts, trying not to jostle them to much. "I'm going to check on your pop here in a few. He asked about you guys the entire time after we found him."
Johnny's face lit up, "C-can we go with you? I mean, we can sit outside of the room b-but I want to go with you, please?" He wanted to see for himself that Steve was ok. He knew Tony wouldn't lie to them but he was also aware of his parent's desire to protect them from anything that could harm or hurt them.
Tony frowned, "I don't know Johnny, you two have been through a lot, too. You don't think you should probably rest or something?"
"Or something, geez dad come on, you know with pop's blood we heal almost as fast as he does. We're practically back to perfect working order." Peter grinned. He tried to sit up and got half way before falling back with a gasp. "O-ok, maybe not perfect working order but we can at least go see Pop." He glanced at Johnny then back to Tony, "You know he's going to want to see us as well dad..."
"Cousin, they are ready for you. Bruce is having Steven moved to a private room across the hall. Per your instructions, he has his own personal medical staff as well. Security will be stationed outside both his room and the boys for their protection."
Tony sighed, finally, he would be able to see Steve again. To prove to himself that he wasn't dreaming. "Ok guys, let me make sure everything is in order then I'll come back and get you." He laughed as they both grumbled. "Yeah, yeah I know, I know. It's so unfair and all that jazz but seriously guys despite the fact that you both have Steve's DNA, doesn't mean you can take advantage of it. You know you need to rest and eat..."
Peter snorted and Johnny scowled. "That's funny dad considering you usually never sleep and neither does Pop." Johnny looked at Tony. A determined look on his face as he tried to figure out the best way to see Steve.
Tony grinned at his youngest son, the stony look on his face looked so much like his when he was trying to figure out a difficult problem. Both boys were intelligent despite their ages and very astute as to when someone was trying to bullshit them or not. Traits Tony took much pride in because they were a part of him as well as Steve. "I know but just give me a few to make sure he's comfortable, then I'll be back to get you guys, promise."
Johnny sighed then looked at Peter, "Yeah, ok, just as long as you don't take to long. We'll come looking for you if you do." Peter didn't want to wait anymore than Johnny did but knew Tony was right. They needed to make sure that Steve was comfortable first.
Tony chuckled, "I'm sure you will." He leaned over and gave them both a hug, squeezing as tightly as possible. "Trust me guys, I'd rather you come with me but I need to make sure your dad is doing ok. Besides Avie will be here along with Rhodey..."
"He went to get us pizza's." Johnny interrupted, immediately sidetracked at the reminder of food. "I wonder if he remembers I can't..."
Rhodey took that moment to walk through the door holding three large boxes. "I remember that squirt is allergic to 'shrooms and likes lite sauce and that wise ass over there likes pineapples and pepperoni." He turned to glare at Tony. "Something you had a hand in. You know Tones, it's really sad that you would destroy an American icon like that."
"Hey now, wait a damn minute, I didn't destroy anything..." Tony started, a frown curving his mouth down.
"You destroyed the pepperoni pizza! There is no way any red blooded American would order a pepperoni pizza with pineapples on it!" Rhodey talked right over Tony as he set the boxes out in front of Peter and Johnny.
"Hey, pineapple is an option on the menu so why can't I enjoy it on a pizza?! If they didn't want to make it then it shouldn't be available!" Tony argued, he stood up from the bed and watched as both boys opened the pizza boxes Rhodey set in front of them. Huge smiles of pleasure and gratitude on their faces.
"Thanks Uncle James. We really needed some real food, the hospital food here sucks and Aunt Pepper refused to get us anything but cafeteria food." Peter said with a grin of happiness.
"Go slow guys, you're stomach's aren't ready for you to start eating like you used to." Tony sent them both worried looks but decided to refrain from any more worrying. "I'm gonna go check on Steve, I'll be right back." Tony pulled Rhodey out the door behind him, a determined look on his face. "Watch them for me, I'm not sure how long I'll be with Steve but just...watch over them for me Rhodey, please?"
"I got you Tony, their my god-sons after all so don't worry. With me and Avie there, what can go wrong?" Rhodey nodded then turned back to the room. "Just make sure to let us know how Steve is doing, ok?"
Tony smiled, "I will and thanks Rhodey-bear." Tony grinned at the frown Rhodey gave him then turned to head down the hallway. He was looking for Bruce, if he could find him he would find Steve.
"Tony?"
Turning, Tony spotted the other brunette across the hall. "Hey Bruce, tell me I won't be losing my husband again. Please say you have some good news to share."
"Well, honestly it doesn't look good, Tony. After having to shock his heart twice, we're keeping a close watch on him. He's breathing without a tube but we have him on oxygen. He had a few bones that had been broken and needed to be reset as well, and a bad case of pneumonia but we're controlling that with some antibiotics. Other than that, it's going to be up to him on how fast he heals. " Bruce sighed as he glanced down at the chart in his hands then back up at Tony. "We're going to do some blood work later, just to see..." Bruce paused when he saw Tony's pale face and blank gaze looking past him. "God, I'm sorry Tony. I-I didn't mean for it all to come out..."
"No, no i-it's fine Bruce. Can, umm, c-can I see him? D-do you think he'll be up for visitors?" Tony looked at Bruce, wondering if Steve would pull through and what he had to do to make sure nothing else happened to him.
"He was awake when I left so you should be ok. He was asking about you and the boys earlier, so I'm pretty sure he'll be happy to see you." Bruce smiled at his friend, then yawned. "Sorry, sorry, long past couple of days."
Tony returned the smile, turning back towards Steve's door. "If you think it'll be ok..."
"Go in and talk to him, Tony. He's missed you as much as you've missed him. Just take it easy, ok? Remember, his heart isn't as strong as it was and to much right now could make things worse." Bruce gave Tony a squeeze on the shoulder then pushed him gently towards the door. "Hurry up before he thinks you're avoiding him."
Tony looked at Bruce then turned and opened the door to Steve's room. Avoid Steve? Never, he's been waiting for this moment for the past three years.
"Tony..." Came a shy, hoarse voice.
Tony couldn't help the grin that curved his mouth, relief washing over him at the sight of the small, pale blond. "Hey handsome, wanted to see if you were up for some company?" Tony stood in the doorway of Steve's room. He wanted to run over and hug him but wasn't sure he wouldn't hurt him in his enthusiasm.
Steve smiled, "I could use some company right now." He watched as Tony closed the door and slowly moved towards him. Steve was aware of how he looked, with all the IV's and the oxygen mask. His gaze fell away from Tony's. "Are the boys ok?" He asked shyly.
"They were when I left their room, Rhodey brought them pizza's." Tony stood at the foot of the bed, a small frown on his face. Why wouldn't Steve look at him? Was he angry, did he blame him for what happened to him and Peter? "Steve, baby, a-are you..." Tony stopped, unsure how to ask what he wanted to know. "D-do you blame me for not finding you sooner?"
Steve's head snapped up as he looked at Tony. "Blame you? Tony why would I blame you? None of this was your fault." Steve watched as Tony tried to figure out if that was how Steve really felt or not. "Seriously, Tony, you couldn't have known any of this would have happened."
"The signs were there Steve, they were there for me to see and I ignored them." Tony raked a hand through his hair, making the short chestnut curls spike out wildly. "I should have paid attention to..."
"You...you cut your hair?" Steve asked softly, staring at the short, dark curls. Tony's hair had been much longer and lighter three years ago and Steve could remember running his hands through the strands. He had loved the way they would curl and caress his fingers. "W-when did you cut your hair, why, Tony?" Steve struggled to sit up, he wanted a closer look at the dark head in front of him. He tried to hide his surprise at the strands of gray that started at his temples and slowly blended in.
Tony froze, he knew Steve had loved his hair longer. He had too, until the day he had lost them. He couldn't stand to feel anyone's hands in his hair and two weeks after the funeral, he'd cut it. "I, uh, it was after the...after, you know a-and I couldn't...not if it wasn't you...so, yeah, uh, here you go." Tony looked into the sky blue eyes. "You know I hate to be touched unless it was certain people and after you a-and Peter...I couldn't stand to be touched. Not by anyone, except for Johnny, he's our son." Tony sat down as close to Steve as possible. "He was the only part of you I had left."
"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry, Tony." Steve whispered, tears filling his eyes. "I didn't...I should have tried harder. I should have found a-a way..."
Tony reached for Steve, mindful of the IV's and tubes, he hugged him. Releasing a tense breath, he pulled him as close as possible. "Don't, babe, don't do that. You won't let me blame myself and I won't let you blame yourself." He closed his eyes when Steve slowly wrapped his arms around him. "God, I've missed you so much, Steve." Tony couldn't hide the tremor from his voice. "As soon as I can, I'm taking you and the boys on a vacation. Anywhere you want to go, I don't care just as long as we're together."
Steve let out a soft hiccup, then sighed. "I'd really like that Tony...a lot. Somewhere warm though, I have a feeling I'm going to be this way for a while." Steve pulled back from Tony, giving him a small smile. "When do you think we can leave?" Steve hated hospitals, no matter how much Tony spent on comfort, Steve couldn't get past the smell. His memories of a time when most hospital's smelled of sickness and death, where now filled of pain and torture.
Tony grinned at him, "I don't know. I'll find out from Bruce when we can move you. He may want to keep you here for a few, run some tests just to be sure." Tony chuckled at the frown on Steve's face. He couldn't get over how different he looked. Smaller, thinner but still his Steve. "I'll see if we can keep it as short as possible but if he says you stay Steve, then..." Tony stopped, unsure if he should let Steve make the choice or not.
Steve sighed as he laid back against the bed. "Yeah, yeah I know." Steve grumbled, he turned his head away from Tony, trying to hide the smile that curved his lips. He let out a soft sigh, he was tired. Exhausted in a way he hasn't been in a very long time. Turning back towards his husband, who was silently watching him, Steve wondered how long they were going to avoid talking about what happened. He really didn't want to but he knew Tony was curious. "Tony..."
"We'll talk about it when you're ready." Tony cut him off. He knew enough from what Peter had said to understand Steve's reluctance to talk. His curiosity, however wanted to be satisfied, to be able to finally figure out what really happened. "Would you, uh, do you feel up to telling me what happened that day? I mean, I know what I was told and obviously that was all lies but..." Tony sighed, he had just told Steve they would talk about it later and now he was pushing the issue. "I'm sorry, I just...I don't know what to say or do here, Steve. I want to tell you that everything's going to be ok but I'm not even sure about that, either." Tony looked at the small blond helplessly. "Tell me what to do, Steve. Anything, anything you say and I'll do it."
"I want to go home. I don't...Tony I...I want to be with you and our boys. I don't want to be here." Steve had had enough of rooms like this. "They kept us in a room like this. It smelled of blood a-and medicine and cleaner. Please, Tony, I just...can we please, just go home." Steve asked in a shaky whisper, they'd held him in a room like this for days, stripped him of the serum then raped him. He wouldn't be able to sleep in a room like this and he was so tired.
"I'll have you and the boys moved today. I'll make sure that everything is done in the suite. I swear, I'll get it all done today, Steve." Tony reached for the pale hand closest to him. Rubbed his thumb over the soft skin. "I've always loved your hands. They were always soft, no matter what you did or how much you put them through, they stayed as soft as baby's skin." He smiled at the blush on the pale face. Tony was slowly finding it appealing, the way Steve blushed then would turn shyly away from him. The shyness he had when they first got together was back, but it seemed to have doubled with this smaller version of Steve.
"Y-your staring, Tony." Steve could feel his face heating as Tony's gaze moved over him. "Say something, please?" Steve would rather hear Tony talk than sit through his silent perusal.
"You're gorgeous." Tony sighed. "I mean, not that you weren't with the whole serum and muscles and height and everything, you were breathtaking but now...Steve...you are just..." Tony wasn't sure he could explain it. He loved the muscles and height of Captain America, who didn't when they looked at him but here...in front of him was Steve Rogers. The man behind Captain America, the heart of the hero.
Steve gave him a watery smile. "I know how I look Tony. I look like hell." He squeezed Tony's hand when he grinned at him. "I know I'm smaller, skinnier, and about 100 pounds less a-and you're just saying all of that to be nice." He grinned up at the tan face. "Thank you, Tony."
"Anything for you gorgeous, anything for you." Tony looked around the room. "Are you hungry? Do you, um, think you could keep anything down?" He turned back to Steve, "The boys are demanding to see you and if you have something to eat in front of you..."
Steve frowned, then nodded, "They won't worry as much." He sighed, "I don't know, maybe some soup? I can't keep down to much but I remember being able to keep down soup."
"Ok, um, sounds good. Let's call a nurse or better yet..." Tony pulled out his phone and grinned as Steve's face lit up. "Hey J? Need you to put in an order for soup and salad at Steve's favorite restaurant. Make sure they know what he is allergic to as well." He couldn't help the soft chuckle at Steve's pleased look.
"Can't wait, hospital food is the worst." Steve smiled at Tony. "So, ummm, when can I see the boys?" He didn't want them to see him like this but knew it was already to late. Peter had spent a year with him like this before Johnny had arrived and that had been only for two months. It made him nervous what they would think about him now.
"They love you, Steve. As much if not more than anyone else, other than me. You've always been a strong person, let us be strong for you this time." Tony rubbed Steve's hand gently. He could see the doubts running through his head, read them in his sky blue eyes.
Steve looked down at the strong hand holding his. He knew things weren't going to go back to the way they used to but he would worry about it later. "Tell me about what I've missed out on, I know you've made some changes to the Tower." He grinned at Tony's blush. "What have you been up to Tony?"
Tony flushed, "I just...well, I, uh, I sealed off the penthouse floor and moved down to the floor below it. Was just easier to, you know, handle everything."
Steve nodded, "I thought about you Tony. All the time, I wondered how you and Johnny were doing, if you were eating or sleeping, who was taking care of you..." Steve looked up at Tony with haunted sky blue eyes. "It was pure hell, Tony...what we went through. It was worse than when I woke up from the ice." Steve said softly
"I lost everything when they told me...Y-you and the boys Steve, you're all I have that means anything to me in this world and when they told me..." Tony stopped as he tried to control the flood of emotions from that night. "You are my everything, Steve, w-without you I have nothing." Tony looked at his husband. "I couldn't sleep or eat without getting sick or having nightmares, so I just..." He let out a rough sigh. "It was hard on Johnny too, I almost lost him as well..."
Steve could feel his eyes filling with tears. "I should have tried harder..." Steve whispered softly.
"No, we should have payed attention to the one threat to us but never would have thought about." Tony said angrily.
Steve looked at Tony, "What do you mean, Tony?"
"The day of the hearings, Ross told us that we needed to be careful...to imagine how it would feel to lose something we loved." Tony looked at Steve. "That night Johnny gets sick, two weeks later you and Peter are taken from me."
Steve sucked in a quick breath, his heart beating faster. "He wanted to prove a point..."
Tony nodded, a grim look on his face. "He made his point and soon, I'll make mine."
