6 Healing and Pain

As she walked towards the water, she spread out her arms, and her blue and gold staff appeared in her right hand. Though she had been shaking only moments ago, her movements were now slow and fluid. When she reached the water, she didn't stop, she simply stepped onto it, and kept walking. I was astonished, to say the least. It suddenly occurred to me to wonder if she was actually human. No human I had ever heard of could walk on water. By the gasps of the people around me, I knew that I wasn't the only one surprised. I decided I'd ask her about it later. I'd just watch, for now.

She kept her gaze forward, not looking at the people lying lifelessly beneath her feet. Once she had walked quite a ways out onto the water's glistening, red surface, she began a flowing, mournful dance. Almost as soon as she started, small, glowing spheres began to rise from the water were the people lay. The villagers who were gathered around continued to cry, and I watched in horror as the bodies of the dead began to disappear. As Yuna continued to dance, the people slowly disintegrated into the glowing spheres, and flew off into the darkening sky. I had no idea what was going on, but I knew that it was a horrible thing.

A woman who had been crying near me covered her face with her hands and fell to her knees as she watched a man lying nearby in the water disappear. I clenched my fists, feeling angry, but I didn't know why. Almost as soon as the anger began, it faded into deep sorrow. Once Yuna finished her dance, she walked back to the shore, and as soon as her feet touched the dock, she stumbled and fell. While the villagers kept a distance away from her, Wakka, Lulu, Kimahri and I all ran to her. "She is weak. She needs to rest. This is too much for her, too soon." Lulu's voice was clipped, and I heard something that might be emotion in it. I saw Wakka's face, and realized that he had been crying. His eyes were bloodshot, and there were smeared tear tracks on his face. Seeing this, I glanced again to take a better look at Lulu. Her eyes were red as well, but no tears were on her face. I suddenly did not feel so ashamed of my own weakness. Still, I held back the waterfall that wanted to erupt from my eyes, and focused my attention on the Summoner who was lying at our feet. I knelt down and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Yuna…are you okay?" Her eyes slowly opened, and she winced in pain before struggling to sit up. She nodded slowly. "I'll be fine." I nodded her, taking her hands and helping her to stand up. She gasped slightly and almost fell again, but I caught her and let her lean on me, so that she could stand. Lulu came up behind her and stroked her hair, peering at me over her head. Anger flashed briefly in her eyes, but she spoke gently to Yuna.

"Yuna, you must rest. Perhaps tomorrow you can try to heal the others." Yuna nodded, saying

"Hm." She tried to take a step forward, but stumbled, only to have me catch her again. Lulu gave me another disapproving look. The blue beast who had been standing nearby approached and lifted Yuna into his arms without a word. Wakka had been speaking with one of the nearby villagers, and she approached us walking alongside him. "I own one of the village inns." She sniffed, wiping tears from her cheeks, "You can stay there for the night."

Yuna nodded at her from Kimahri's arms. "Thank you."

My head was spinning, I could hardly see. I had no idea that performing a sending could be so difficult. I had danced the sending thousands of times before, but I had never actually sent someone, let alone over a hundred people. Now, I had to be carried by my faithful guardian, Kimahri, because I was too weak to stand.

I was a summoner, Spira's hope, and here I was being carried by my guardian because I was too weak to walk. I felt like such a loser. Though I was discouraged, I realized that I would grow stronger with time.

I clutched Kimahri's arm, squeezing my eyes shut, and pressing my forehead on his shoulder, fighting tears. The intense desire to save Spira came crashing over me all over again, I was drowning in it. I wanted nothing more than to save this world from its sorrow.

When we finally reached the inn, Kimahri carried me into a room, and laid me on the bed. He looked at me careingly, as a father would to his daughter. This brought another wave of sorrow over me, remembering the father I'd been missing for the last ten years. But I smiled up at him as I curled my sore, exhausted body into a ball, and I fell asleep

Pain. I groaned, almost completely unable to move. I opened my eyes, squinting against the sunlight, coming through the open window. Lulu was standing by the window, having just opened it. Slowly, stiffly, I forced myself to sit up, smiling through the pain at Lulu.

"Good morning." She looked at me blankly, her eyes saying "No, it isn't a good morning. Don't you remember what happened yesterday?!" I squeezed my blanket in my fists, staring down into my lap. We were both silent for a moment, and then Lulu said, "I will bring you some breakfast. Once your strength is returned…you will need to perform another sending, and heal as many as you can…there are also several more villages on this island…and there were people in the jungle, and at the temple." She started to walk out, but the turned around.

"Wakka, Kimahri, and the boy are in the village, helping to repair it. When you're ready, we will finish our work here, and then head on. It is your choice whether we will stop at the other villages, or if your speed to Zanarkand is more important." She left the room, leaving me alone. I swallowed hard. I felt as though that was my fault. If I had been If I had been stronger, I could have healed the people in the village. Then there wouldn't be a sending to perform. It was my fault those people are dead. It was my fault more people were dying! I decided I would not go to the temple until I had done all the healing and sendings that these islanders need. I just hoped that was not being foolish. It was so hard to know what to do.

I pulled the covers off of my legs, and slid them over the edge of the bed, until they touched the floor. They felt fuzzy, like someone was stabbing me with a thousand tiny swords. I stood there, leaning against the bed for a moment, before gingerly walking across the room towards the bathroom. My throat was dry and sticky, and my face was smeared with dry sweat and sea water, mixed with blood. I needed to clean off. When I got to the bathroom, and turned on the sink to moisten my parched throat, only a few drips of water came out, reminding of the destruction Sin's tidal wave had caused. It probably destroyed all of the water lines on the whole island. I wondered how long it would take to fix that.

I looked up at myself in the cracked, lopsided mirror, damaged as was everything else in this destroyed village. My face looked drawn and tired, caked with filth. My hair was matted and sticking to itself in strange patterns. I stared at myself for a few moments.

I had no idea that it would be so hard. I had hoped I could make it pass quickly. It had been only five days, and I already feel like it had been a month!

I left the bathroom, and decided to get myself some water from the lobby.

If they have water…

Slowly making my way down the hallway, I saw several tired, sad, messy looking people, probably ones who had lost their homes to the attack. They were all walking about twice as fast as I was. I felt like a failure, and I pushed myself to walk faster, though I stumbled and almost fell. There wasn't any food in the lobby, nor any water, so I wandered out onto the dock, and looked into the sea. It was clear blue now, so I sat down on the dock and slipped in, letting the icy cold water bite into my tired body. Being in the water reminded me of Besaid. I missed my home so much.

I submerged my head, and rubbed my face and hair, cleaning off the grime. After a couple minutes, I climbed out, soaking wet and shivering from the cold, but feeling much better. I hoped now I could perform more healings.

My stomach growled, and my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, which I had been careful to keep closed to avoid getting sea water in it, reminding me that I was still very thirsty. I looked around, seeing Wakka and his blitz team taking apart a destroyed fishing boat, probably for scrap wood to fix the village. I looked in the other direction, and saw Lulu walking quickly towards me with Kimahri, each carrying several battered, bruised fruits. When they reached us, Kimahri handed me one of the large fruits, and my stomach growled again. I bit into it hungrily as Lulu looked over me. "What did you do?"

I swallowed my mouthful of fruit. It was delicious, though very overripe, it was juicy and quenched some of my thirst. "I took a little swim, and once I finish this, I think maybe I will have the strength to attempt some healings…I don't know if I can manage another sending, though." I looked down in shame.

"Alright…we guardians will eat, and you should rest a few more minutes before trying to heal. We don't want you to be drained before you can heal everyone." I nodded, finishing my fruit. She handed me another one, before walking with Kimahri towards Wakka. I called after her.

"A-are you going to give any of that to Tidus?" She looked back, and I thought I saw a spark of anger in her ruby red eyes.

"Is he a guardian?" Then, without waiting for my answer, she turned around, and walked away. Kimahri gave me a look, though it was blank, and I had no idea what he was trying to say. No. Tidus wasn't a guardian. I looked at the fruit in my hand, and then went off walking among the docks, until I found him pounding nails into a building with a rock.

"Hey."He turned around to look at me, wiping sweat from his brow. Though it was still pretty early in the morning, the Kilika sun was beating mercilessly down on the islanders.

"Hey. You're up…you feeling better?"

I nodded, and then extended the fruit towards him. "I thought you might be hungry."

"Thanks." His tired eyes lit up at the sight of food, and he reached out with his empty hand to take it. Then, he paused, and frowned, hearing my rumbling noisily at exactly the wrong time. "Have you eaten?" I kept the fruit extended towards him, saying, "I've eaten." "How much?" I looked down.

"A fruit." He pushed my hand holding the fruit back towards me, saying, "You need your strength more than I do."

Then without giving me a chance to reply, he turned and continued to pound at the nail, before leaning down and grabbing another from a wooden bowl sitting at his feet. I was about to protest, but I realized that what he said was true. I had eaten, but it wasn't much. And I truly did need to keep my strength up.

So, reluctantly, but still enjoying it, I took a bite of the fruit, some of the juice dripping down my chin. I hurriedly finished it, while heading across the village to the place which I had done the sending at, the evening before.

Six people lay in the water, and I had to cover my mouth, afraid that I would lose all the food I had just eaten. A young girl sat by the nearby, crying at the sight of a boy lying in the water, who looked about the same age as she did. I frowned, but quickly erased it from my face. I leaned down to look at the girl.

"Can you tell me where the injured people are?" She nodded at me through teary eyes, pointing to a disheveled building across the dock. I nodded, thanking her, and then walked across. Suddenly, I staggered, feeling a sharp pain in my side, but then straightened up again, willing myself to be strong. When I arrived at the building, there were eight people laying on the floor of the room, with several other people attending them. I took a deep breath, preparing myself, and then approached the nearest person, a man, who looked about thirty years old. Most people in Spira didn't live very long past thirty, maybe thirty five, but other than that, there were only a few. I was determined to change that. I wanted the world to be full of happy, alive people, of all ages.

I placed my hand on his forehead, and prayed, hoping desperately that I had the strength. I was overjoyed to feel pain coursing its way through my body, and it soon subsided. The man slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times, before a woman who was about his age threw her arms around him, laughing and crying at the same time. I smiled, and then moved on to the next person, a girl who looked about my age, maybe a year or two younger. I healed her, and then moved around the room, healing each person. I was very tired when I finished, but I knew that the sending should not be delayed, or the people lying in the ocean might rise up in the forms of mindless monsters, fiends, to kill and injure more than had already been lost. I couldn't allow that. I rose to my feet, and went back to the area where the dead were. The young girl had left, and no one saw what I was doing. I slowly walked out onto the water, and began to perform the sending, but when I was almost finished, I began to feel lightheaded, and I rushed through the ending. I felt my feet sinking into the water, and my vision was blurred. I was about fifty feet from the dock, and in deep water. My vision was turning white, and I could feel myself sinking out of consciousness, into the water below me. I tried to call for help, but all that came out was a small croak.

TidusxYuna Always