Chapter 4: Assassinations
Earlier that morning
Deadpool woke up in Lilith's bed with her resting on his chest. "Awesome night." He whispered to himself. He was able to slide out of the bed without waking her. He put his suit back on and went into the kitchen area. "That was amazing!" Crazy cheered.
"Indeed it was." Deadpool agreed. "I still can't believe you were able to get into her bed." Sane proclaimed.
"Ladies can't resist the Deadpool."
"Can't resist slapping you is more like it."
"I don't need your crap."
Deadpool started making breakfast. "I wonder if Lilith wants anything." He wondered. He shrugged and started making breakfast for two. "Well this is unusual." Sane stated.
"What's unusual, besides us?"
"You are making breakfast for a woman you just slept with."
"Yeah, and?"
"Normally you're gone before she is even awake."
Deadpool stopped and thought about what Sane was talking about. "You're right." He sighed. "This is unusual." Crazy pointed out. "Maybe Lilith is different." Deadpool continued to think about what his inner voices said. They were right, Lilith was different.
"I really don't need this right now, narrator."
Sorry, just doing my job.
"I know. Just not now."
Got it.
Deadpool finished making breakfast, pancakes and bacon with juice. He brought the food upstairs and a smile returned to his face when he saw Lilith. She was awake and stretching, but best of all, she was naked. "Good morning Lily." He beamed. "I made you breakfast!" She looked over at him and smiled.
He set the tray on her lap and sat on the floor with his elbows propping his head up on the bed. He just stared into her eyes as she ate. "You are so pretty." He sighed. "Why thank you." She responded.
"Last night was great."
"I really needed it."
Got up and sat on the bed next to her. He tried to put her arm around her but she stopped him. "Listen Deadpool," she started "I'm not looking to get into a relationship right now. My last one didn't exactly end on the best of terms." Deadpool was a little hurt at this but he sighed "It's okay. I get it."
"Don't get me wrong, you're a pretty cool guy and last night was great. It's me, really."
"No, no. I understand."
He got out of the bed and went for the door. As he was walking out, he thought about what he was going to do now. He definitely didn't want to fulfill the contracts he was given, since it meant killing his new friends and he didn't want to do that. But that would mean he had no reason to stay and leave Lilith. "What the hell did I just think?" He nearly shouted.
"You know exactly what you were thinking." Sane assured. "You don't need us to tell you what you're thinking." Crazy added. He was in love with Lilith.
"Dammit narrator."
You know its true man. You love her.
"I know. I just don't need you pointing out like that."
My job
"Whatever."
I shouldn't do this…
"What?"
Here's a trick for you to stay. Hyperion sent you to kill the Vault Hunters right?
"I'm not sure where you're going with this."
Turn the tables, take out Hyperion for the Raiders
"That's brilliant! How did you think of this?"
I'm reading the script, technically Lilith was supposed to think of it after you left the planet. I'm just skipping ahead a bit.
"That's awesome! Can you tell me anything else?"
Be happy I'm telling you this. I could get in serious trouble for that.
"Thanks man, sorry for giving you a hard time."
It's alright, go talk to Lilith already
Deadpool followed the advice and went upstairs. Lilith was in her underwear when he ran in. "Lily!" He cheered. "I just got some amazing advice!" She responded "What is it? And from who?"
"The who doesn't matter, but the advice does."
"And the advice was?"
"If Hyperion set contracts on you, why not get contracts on them?"
"Say again?"
"You hire me to kill Hyperion officials."
Lilith thought for a moment, then her face lit up. "That's brilliant!" She cheered. She got on the ECHO and called everyone to the HQ. "We have to tell everyone about this!" She exclaimed as she got dressed. She hugged him and left.
Present time
"Get them first?" Axton repeated. "Exactly." Lilith confirmed.
"And how do you think we will be able to do that?"
"We have two assassins in this room."
Zer0 waved when Axton looked at him and Deadpool did the same. "You really think that this could work?" Axton questioned. Zer0 stepped in "Wade had Hyperion clearance if he made it up to the acting director of Hyperion. We can get at least one assassination in before they catch on." Deadpool suggested "I think we should aim for Professor Dyson. He's the head of Hyperion weapon development." Everyone nodded in agreement.
"Wait." Gaige proclaimed. "Why not go for the Hyperion head themselves?"
"Because Handsome Jack is dead and he was easily replaced. They could just do it again."
"And the weapons developer? Couldn't they just replace him?"
Deadpool stopped and thought about that. "Unless we destroy the research as well." Zer0 added. Everyone looked over at him with a strange look. "If we kill Professor Dyson and destroy the research, like with a virus that corrupts the system, then replacing the Professor is not a real solution for them." He explained. "Why didn't I think of that?" Deadpool sighed.
Before Zer0 could make a smart remark, Deadpool shouted "That was rhetorical you two." Zer0 laughed while everyone looked at Deadpool like he lost his mind, which he had. Zer0 picked up his helmet and put it on. Deadpool stood up and announced "We're off. Be back soon." Maya questioned "Do you two know where you're heading?"
Deadpool pulled out his phone and called someone. "Hey buddy!" He cheered. "How are you?... Yeah, but I'm stuck… I know you shouldn't but it will alleviate a mess of headaches… okay… uh huh… got it. You the man!" Deadpool hung up and proclaimed "Out near Lynchwood is a bunker."
"Who did you call?"
"A friend who pretty much knows everything."
Zer0 sighed and walked out with Deadpool. "You ready to get back to the old grind?" Deadpool commented. "I sure as hell am." Zer0 exclaimed with excitement in his voice."
"Just like old times?"
"Like old times."
o00000O00000o
A single Hyperion soldier sat outside the bunker in the desert. He was bored out of his mind until he saw a technical driving towards them. "Be advised," He announced over the radio "I've got a vehicle approaching. Looks like two occupants." The man in coms responded "The two occupants are expected, let them in. It will be Corporal Taylor and the assassin Deadpool. They are here to pick up some weapons."
"Copy."
The technical stopped near the door and the two hopped out. Deadpool held up a clearance card and the Corporal showed his I.D. The guard let them pass and reassumed his post.
Deadpool and Zer0 in disguise decsended into the bunker. "I can't believe that worked." Deadpool whispered. "Me neither. I thought we would have to shoot our way in." Zer0 responded. Zer0 was actually amazed this plan was good so far. Deadpool was stepping his game up with this assassination.
"So why the sudden change of heart?" Zer0 had to ask. "I don't feel like killing my friends." Deadpool stated.
"Not what I mean."
"Then what?"
"You working for free? I know you Wade. You don't work for free."
"Who says I'm working for free?"
Zer0 didn't want to know what. The door opened to reveal a large hallway with a mess of offices. They were all empty except for the one at the far end. Deadpool took the lead while Zer0 followed him and looked at the different weapons in the offices. The walls were glass so he could see inside and check out the weapons.
He stopped and looked at one weapon. It looked like a sniper rifle, but much bigger. The finish was metallic steel color with the name "One Shot" carved into the side. Zer0 thought it was beautiful. "Beauty isn't she?" he heard a voice ask.
Zer0 looked to his right to see a man in a lab coat next to him. The man was at least forty with light brown hair combed back. He had a mustache and his skin was starting to wrinkle. His name tap read "Dyson". "Designed her myself." He bragged. "Fires a 50 caliber round with the trajectory precise enough to shoot a pea off a table from a mile away, and you won't hear a sound."
"Impressive." Zer0 gasped.
"Why are you so interested? You're just a soldier."
"Applying to become a sniper, sir."
Dyson shrugged and went back to his office where Deadpool was waiting. Zer0 remained standing while Dyson sat behind his desk. "What can I do you for today gentlemen?" Dyson asked. "I need a good, powerful weapon to take down the psycho Krieg." Deadpool answered.
"Are you looking for stealth?"
"I'm not one for stealth."
"Automatic?"
"The faster the better."
Dyson stood up and escorted them to an office with two weapons. They looked like small assault rifles with a steel color. "Meet the Dual Pythons." Dyson exclaimed. "Capable of firing one hundred rounds each in under two minutes without melting the barrels." Zer0 questioned "And who makes all of these?"
"I do. I'm very secretive of my work. Evrything I have is on my computer."
Deadpool proclaimed "All I needed to hear." Deadpool pulled out his pistol and shot Dyson in the head. "I'll get to work on the computer." Zer0 proclaimed as he went for Dyson's office. The computer was still open and Zer0 accessed the files. The weapons that were going to be developed were astounding.
Zer0 thought the E-tech weapons were good, but these blew them out of the water. He pulled out two flash drives and plugged them in. He moved the files to one and started uploading the virus. This wasn't his first contract like this. Deadpool's phone started ringing and he answered "Blake! How's it going? I'm just picking up some weapons to kill those Vault Hunters!"
The uploas was complete and Zer0 pulled out the flash draives. "I see." He stated in a more moderate tone. "I'd love to see them try." He hung up and sighed "We just lost our window to kill any other officials." Zer0 questioned "How did they know?"
"Apparently there are cameras all around here and they saw everything."
"Let's loot and boot then."
Zer0 went straight for the One Shot and picked it up while Deadpool picked up the Dual Pythons. As they were leaving, the soldier tried to stop them, but Deadpool just shot him in the face. They hopped in the technical and drove off.
o00000O0000o
Blake travelled in the elevator down to the meeting room. It had been a few days since the assassin Deadpool betrayed them. He made a call for more assassins to finish the job Mr. Deadpool failed at. When the doors opened, he had to gasp at what he saw. The room was covered in blood and bodies.
The assassins that responded to his call were all dead. Either stabbed or filled with bullet holes. There was only one person in the room still alive. He sat at the end of the table with his feet up and flipping a knife, catching it by the blade. "I don't need competition." He stated. "I don't work with others."
Blake gulped as he felt the chill run down his spine. "You either hire me," The assassin continued "or don't. But I wanted this job." Blake thought the man had the voice of death. "Congratulations sir." Blake managed to choke out. "You have gone through our selection process and we think you are the best candidate."
"I thought you would say that."
"May we have a name for you?"
"No names."
"Very well sir."
The man stood up, he was at least 7 feet tall. "Who's the first target?" He laughed as he sheathed his knife.
What! Who is this mystery assassin? Who will be the first contract? What will happen next? Will Deadpool continue arguing with me? The answer to the last one is yes. Read on and find out!
