I know that saying sorry for how late my update is has become pretty standard by now, but I've never been THIS late, so I feel I should explain. When I began writing this story I didn't have that many friends and wasn't very active socially. But as the weeks passed I made a ton of new friends and started going out more, so my time at home on my computer has decreased drastically. Hell, I'm only even managing to finish this chapter because I'm stuck at home with a cold. I am not, however, giving up on this story. I'm going to do my best to continue writing when I can, just don't expect regular updates after this chapter. Again, I am very sorry to keep you waiting, but I hope you enjoy this, although it's probably not worth months of waiting.
Chapter 7: Piling up
Always. Not sometimes, not often. Always!
Always they talked to her. Always they whispered, taunted her, lied. But they weren't there. They weren't real. They couldn't be.
They couldn't do this to her. She was the crown princess! The descendant of Sozin and of Agni himself! She was the greatest firebender of all time and the rightful leader of the most powerful nation the world had ever seen. Then why do I feel so powerless? How come they taunt me and I can do nothing?
They called her many things. Monster, failure, weakling, coward. Occasionally some would show her kindness, but she had long since realized it was a trick meant to lure her into a false sense of security, but they would not succeed. Not again.
They were so many, but they were all the same. They spoke separately but somehow their voices melted together in her head. But in those long nights she spent alone, it was when their faces appeared, and they all appeared, that disturbed her the most. Zuko, the Avatar, father, mother, Mai...
Even the little acrobat she'd once thought truly cared for her.
What thin line there had been between reality and illusion had long since faded, she didn't even bother to make attempts to distinguish between the two. Same thing applied for sleep, she could not tell waking moments from her dreams. They all felt the same, dark, cold and even with the company, she felt lonely.
She didn't know where she was, or even how long she'd been here. Hours became days, days became months and months became eternity. She'd tried counting the meals she was brought but found that every time she was stable enough to even notice the faceless people in white entering the room and leaving a plate, she would forget a moment later. Everything was blurred, unclear, nothing made sense anymore. Her brilliant mind, the mind that conquered the great city of Ba Sing Se, the mind that had bested her teachers and generals at age fourteen and the mind that had been one of her greatest sources of pride and joy, was slipping away from her.
"You monster!"
"Stop it," she whispered.
"You lost the throne to your brother? Pathetic."
"Stop it."
"You actually thought we were your friends? We always hated you, Azula!"
"Stop it..."
"Azula? Azula, can you hear me?"
She froze. She knew the voice all too well. She'd heard it so many times, both before and after she was brought to this place; although it had never sounded as clear as it did now. Go away. For the love of Agni, go away!
Something touched her cheek and caressed it softly. She'd felt that touch before. She felt a shiver run over her entire body. They never touched her, they couldn't.
"Azula? Azula please!"
The hand on her cheek moved to her shoulder. She's faking it. She's acting concerned so I'll lower my guard. I won't break again. I won't. I won't.
"Azula, please talk to me!"
It's a trick, she's tricking me. Lies, lies, lies. Don't listen to her. DON'T!
She tried as she could to block out the voice and constantly make mental notes to remind herself not to listen to it; However, it was proving very difficult. They usually weren't as persistent as this one, and that, combined with the fact that it was using the voice of the person who once made her smile like no one else could but now only caused pain, was proving too much for the disgraced princess to handle. And the touching! It was becoming too much and what little ability she had to control herself vanished when the creature next to her grabbed her and roughly pulled her into it's arms, cradling her like a child and shouting some frantic apologies.
Azula's illusion of composure was shattered. As she felt the supposed arms of her childhood friend, both gentle and strong, she was forced to admit to herself how much she missed it. But why did she? Her friend lived not far away from the palace. She could go and find her any time she wanted, but she didn't. She never left, never went anywhere. Why was that again? Wait, was she even in the palace? I...I don't remember. Where am I? Where is Ty Lee? Wait, isn't she here with me? Or...I don't...
NO! Lies, all lies! They lie and cheat and lock you away. What else does a monster like you deserve?
STOP IT!
Suddenly she felt a sharp pain in her right shoulder. The arms cradling her had retracted and let her fall back to the floor. She didn't care about the shoulder though, all she cared for was getting it all to stop. The voices, the mental images, all of it. She thrashed around as she could think of no other way to make them go away, and in doing so she repeatedly knocked her already sore shoulder on the floor over and over.
As the pain in her shoulder increased she also realized her throat felt almost raw. That's when she realized that she was screaming. Why? I...I don't even hear it.
A door was opened and light flooded Azula's world. She would have had to completely close her eyes if there wasn't someone standing exactly between her and the door, casting a shadow over the princess' face. For a moment her eyes were fixed on the lone figure in front of her. Those round cheeks, small snub nose and big gray eyes brimming with tears. She's here. She came for me!
No, she lies and tr-
NO! She's here for me! She's here...
Other people started entering the room and advancing towards her. The image of the beautiful gray-eyed girl began to retreat and fade into the blinding light and a single though was formed in her mind before she felt a familiar prick in the side of her neck.
No. Not again...
As the sun drifted higher onto the cloudless sky the city streets filled up and were soon bustling with activity.
After leaving the mental hospital Ty Lee had spent the whole boat ride back attempting to steady herself and stop her anguished crying that had border on hysteria. She'd been able to do this just before reaching the Capital city and was relieved when she found that there was no escort party awaiting her. Both was it a pleasant change from being led around by people who clearly didn't think of her as more than a child and she did not feel like going back to the palace at all. She just knew Mai and possibly Suki and Zuko were going to question her about Azula and she wasn't up for that quite yet. She had to clear her mind first.
She had decided to go to the market and it had proven to be a good idea. She was easily calmed down by the shouts of the people running the small stalls everywhere and the sound of people haggling prices. She even found some items she could stop and admire for a while, like the shoes she was looking at right now. They were small silk slippers with a golden trim and laces around the edges. She thought they looked quite pretty, mostly. If only they had a different color. Everything is red around here.
She decided to move on, leaving a rather disappointed saleswoman scowling over not making a sale.
As the acrobat strolled down the crowded street her eyes moved from person to person, examining the varieties of people who also had taken the time to visit the market. From the haggling merchants to the groups of women getting excited over a dress, their faces all made Ty Lee think the same thing; None of them had any idea of the emotional pain she was going through. She didn't know for a fact that they were not going through something similar themselves, but a quick look back on each of their faces dismissed that thought immediately.
After about an hour of aimlessly wandering through the streets she concluded her mind wasn't going to get any clearer than it was and decided to make her way back to the royal palace. Knowing the streets of the capital like the back of her hand, the acrobat decided to take a shortcut through a rundown alleyway. She was so deep in thought that she failed to notice the three rather large men following her down the empty back street.
"Hey there, sweetheart," one of the men said as he stepped in front of Ty Lee, blocking her way. "What's a pretty little thing like you doing in this part of town?"
Even though Ty Lee had often been called air-headed she wasn't stupid enough to not see the looks on the men's faces and realize their intentions were not pleasant. Not that she was worried. She only had to take one look at those men to know that she could take them in a fight, but with all that was going on she really wasn't in the mood for it. Without a word she pushed the man aside and started to walk past him, however she didn't get far before he roughly grabbed her wrist and tugged her back between himself and the other men.
"Now, now, sweetie. Don't be so rude. We were only going to ask if you wanted some company," the man said as he licked his upper lip. Ty Lee's revulsion of the man reached new heights as she saw the predatory smirk on his lips. She had no desire for his company or that of his friends, and was quick to act. A quick jab to the man's shoulder and the hand holding her went limp along with the arm it was attached to.
"What the..." the man yelled, obviously startled by the sudden attack. "Get her!"
The acrobat quickly turned around to face to two other men, now advancing on her. She kicked on in the gut, making him stagger and giving her enough time to deliver a pinch to the other man's neck and immobilizing him before returning to the man holding his gut and doing the same to him. She spun again to face the original attacker who had grabber her arm only to me met with a large fist straight to the jaw. She stumbled backwards and before she could steady herself the man used his good arm to grab her throat and pin her to the alley's wall. She could feel the air rush from her lungs and out her nearly crushed windpipe.
Why did this all have to happen to her? Wasn't she going through enough already without these thugs making her day worse? Despite what many who knew her thought, Ty Lee often got a bit irritated, and there were rare moments when she got truly angry, but for the first time in her life the acrobat felt what she could only describe as uncontrollable rage. She quickly brought her hand up and paralyzed the man's arm, freeing her throat from his grasp. Feeling her anger grow as she had trouble breathing she delivered a forceful kick to the thugs chest, sending him flying backwards to the wall where he fell down. After laying there with his back to the wall the man started trying to get back on his feet, but Ty Lee was quick to react. No you don't!
She jumped on top of him and pounded the man's face with her clenched fist. Then she did it again, and again.
Suddenly a strange sound caused her to stop. She blinked a few times in an effort to clear her head. Then she heard the sound again, a quiet, almost forced moan. She looked down at the man beneath her and jumped back when she saw his face. It was covered in blood, his nose was obviously broken in a few places and Ty Lee was sure he was missing a few teeth. She quickly brought her hand, that was now aching a bit, up to her face and saw that it too was covered in blood. How many times had she hit him? It didn't feel like much more than four punches.
She panicked and ran out of the alleyway. What if he dies, what then? What the hell is wrong with me?
She ran up to a man in the middle of a conversation with what seemed to be his wife. "Help, some men were attacked in that alley," she quickly said and pointed before running off.
She was breathing heavily as she frantically washed her hand in a basin. She had snuck into her room by scaling the palace walls like she had done so many times before. She couldn't risk Mai, or anyone else for that matter, she her in the bloody, crying state she was in. She cleaned the last remnants of the thugs blood of her hand, dried it with a small, red towel and examined it. There were definite signs of bruising and she expected she might swell a little. Great, just great.
She couldn't deal with this right now, not with the recent memory of Azula still fresh in her mind. She walked across the room and flopped onto the big bed at the far side of the room. She lay there for a few minutes hoping that relaxing for a while would help clear her head, but when her patience ran out she grabbed a pillow in impulse and screamed into it as loud as she could. The noise was muffled enough so that she did not worry about being heard. She rolled over and fixed her eyes on the ceiling. Just calm down. Happy thoughts. Acrobatics. Running in a meadow. Koala-sheep. Yes, tons and tons of koala-sheep, all running around, jumping over fences...
"Ty Lee!"
"Huh?" the pink clad girl sighed as she sat up. Something felt different. She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands and looked around. It looked like the shadows cast by the various objects in the room had changed in size. I must have dozed off.
"Ty!" a familiar voice said again. Ty Lee looked to the open doorway to find an irritated Mai tapping her foot. "Ooh, ehm. Hello Mai," she stated casually.
"Hello?" the Fire Lady deadpanned. "Ty, where the hell have you been? We've been looking all over for you! We expected you back before lunch!"
The acrobat blushed and rubbed the back of her neck. "Ooh, sorry. When was that exactly?" she asked, genuinely sorry to have worried her friend.
"Three hours ago." Mai looked like she was calming down. She walked over and sat down next Ty Lee. "Well, I'm glad to see you're alright."
"Thanks," the acrobat wrapped her arms around her friend. "Sorry again. I just didn't really feel like talking to anyone, so I snuck in here and I guess I fell asleep."
"Yeah, about that," Mai spoke slowly as she pried herself free from Ty Lee's arms. "Zuko wanted you to tell him everything about your visit at lunch, but now I guess it will be during dinner instead." Ty Lee felt a portion of the color in her face drain. "Just thought you should know," Mai concluded. The Fire Lady stood up and walked to the door. "I'm going to call off the search," she stopped and looked back at her friend sympathetically. "I'll see you tonight."
Ty Lee sat still on the bed, her mind racing. How am I going to describe what I saw to Zuko when I can barely think about it without crying? And what am I supposed to say? That Azula can't even talk coherently? That she hasn't been able to stand up in months? That she didn't even recognizance me...
Ty Lee wiped away the fresh tears trickling down her face. Well, guess I'll just have to suck it up. I've already decided I'm not backing out now.
She did her best to pull her composure together, stood up, sat in front of the large mirror above her vanity and started to practice what she would saying this evening.
Ok, I know you guys want to see more interaction between Ty Lee and Azula, but I felt I had to write this one. Next chapter (whenever that is finished) will contain more of that. As always I encourage you to write reviews and tell me what you think. I run on feedback. Peace out.
