"EMILY"
I hear her shouting at me, but I can't my anger is feral, it isn't just about him, its everything which is spilling and pouring out and on to him, I can hear him shouting, but nothing can alleviate this feeling. I manage to move the knife so it is resting against his neck, it would only take one finally push and it would be over for him.
"Don't make me do this Emily please."
I close my eyes slightly as I listen to her panicked voice. I try to clear my mind. I hear the familiar clicking of the safety being released off the gun.
"Put him down. Now." I swallow slightly.
If I carry on this path, I know what will happen. Can she not understand, he tried to hurt the woman that I love? Oh god. Is that why my temper is so out of control? Am I in love?
"Emily don't make me shoot you." Her voice is so low, so gentle. "Put him down gently."
I can only nod my head in reply as I finally get my anger under control. I watch him scurry away so fast, but now I have fear taking over my anger, wrapping it nasty hands around my neck.
"What are you?" I hear her ask.
The problem is I have no clue, I just have these powers that make me different. A freak. A demon. Maybe my parents were right. Maybe I don't belong in this world. I turn around, her gun is still trained on me. I can't help backing away from her.
"What are you?" Her voice is so firm.
"A freak." I finally let out in a whisper.
I can't help looking down as I back away more, I don't think my mind could cope watching her shoot me. Maybe I am an animal. Maybe I do need putting down. Isn't the first time I have wanted or felt like dying. Wanting someone to put me out of my misery. I often wonder why my parents didn't oust me. Maybe Amy will. Maybe this is the point where I say goodbye.
"I'll go." I mumble as I sense the gun being lowered the safety being clicked back into place.
"Emily." I shake my head slightly. "Don't go." I frown this time, but still I can't bear to look at her.
"Why? So you can call the police on me." In this moment I don't trust her. I don't trust her to not unclick the safety off that gun and fire at me.
"I'm not going to call the police." I hear her sigh. "They wouldn't believe me anyway."
"So you thought about it." I mumble. She is just like everyone else I n my life. They find out they chastise me, they turned on me. Maybe the only one person to truly care for me, and he is no longer here.
"You had a knife to his throat Emily, what do you expect me to think?" I knew letting her close would probably be for the worst and I think the point is being proven.
"You were about to kill him." Okay so maybe she's right maybe I was.
"He pulled a knife on you." I state.
"I know."
"He lunged it at you." Yes, I know stating the obvious.
"Look at me Emily, please?"
I shake my head slightly; I don't trust myself. My fight or flight mode is building deep inside me and I know if I try and fight, it wouldn't end well for her. "I'll be out of here by tonight, you won't ever see me again." I can't help the tears which are forming, or the fact my voice sounds so weak as I try and control myself more.
"I knew."
"What do you mean you knew?"
"The few times you've been angry, I saw things move, I just didn't believe it, until now."
"You're lying." This time I look at her, I notice she has put her gun away.
"Let's go back to mine and we can talk." Her hand reaches out towards me. But for the first time since she spoke to me at college, from the first time she offered me friendship. I don't reach back. "I trust you Emily."
I close my eyes slightly. The problem is I don't trust her. I could be walking into a trap. My body is tingling with all these different feelings, I feel the tremors on my skin, my body dropping temperature. The colour draining from my skin. She moves closer. Which only makes me back away more from her.
"Please Emily, don't run from me."
There is a type of plea in her voice. But my senses are screaming at me to run and never look back. I can fix my heart in time, I can block her out of my mind in time, make it so I don't know who she is. If only I could see in her mind, I'd be able to do what I've done before. I made Mark and John forget who I was, including their family, in their minds they've never met me. They don't and won't know who Emily Prentiss is. They guy I nearly killed when I was fifteen doesn't remember who I am, he thinks he was in a car crash, and everyone believed him, since his injures mirrored a car crash victim.
"Emily, say something. Anything."
I hadn't realised I hadn't spoken or that I was becoming lost in myself again, revaluating everything in my life, she's always going to know. Her mind is like a fortress, no weak points. I can't manipulate her mind. I can't make her feel or think anything else, because there's nothing there.
"I..."
There are no words I can use. I just look at her before I bolt down the alleyway. I know she hasn't followed me. I need to get away from here. I need to find my way back home. She can't hurt me then; she can't pull me into a trap. I wonder how much money she'd get for something like me? Will there be a price on my head in the morning? Will my picture be plastered all over the city? Or all over the country. I wish I could go home. But the problem I have is. I don't have a home. I have a dorm room on campus, and that's it.
God what am I meant to do? I finally stop running, I manage to lean against a wall before my body crumbles to the ground. The tears that had been welling deep inside me rip out from my chest as I sob uncontrollably. In the space of an hour. I gained a girlfriend, and then lost her. Surely another record I just broke. My heart hurts. Not just a feeling but it physically hurts. I can feel it knotting in my chest, as my breath becomes slow as the tears subside. Why do I feel like I've lost everything?
It feels like the day I lost my grandfather. But only this time I caused this. If I hadn't of let my temper control me, none of this would have happened and she wouldn't know my secret. Although at least she knows why I am a freak. Why the girls beat on me. Does this mean she'll now turn into one of these nasty girls? Do I need to protect myself from her? What am I meant to do? I have no one I can turn to. No one to give me advice anymore.
How does she except me to trust her when she pulled a gun on me. Yes, granted I was about to kill someone. But I was protecting her. I was protecting her from being hurt. He didn't care about her, he didn't care if he hurt her, he didn't even care if he hurt me. Maybe I am better off alone. I only have one slight problem now. Is how do I get back to college.
I shouldn't have come here with her. I shouldn't have allowed my guard down. I shouldn't have become her friend.
Maybe I'd be better off dead?
I think that is one of the better thoughts I've had. Make everyone's wish come true.
