We seem to be sitting in silence for ages her eyes studying me as her fingers trace over mine. "Shall I order us some food."
"Sounds good to me." I stop for a second as I look at her. "Amy?"
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry."
"What for?"
I sigh slightly as I take hold of her hand. "For running away from you, for not giving you a chance. For thinking you were like everyone else in my life." I lift my hand to wipe the tears that are now rolling down my cheek.
"You were scared Emily, and there's nothing wrong with being scared." I watch as she pulls her cell phone out. "Thank you for giving me a chance, I know how hard it must have been for you." She cups my cheek wiping the tears away. "Pizza sound good?" she smiles at me slightly as I nod. "Then maybe we can carry on this conversation. Unless it's too much for you?"
I look at her as I allow my eyes to close. "No one has ever wanted to know the real me. Other than my grandfather."
"You're parents?" I can't help but scoff slightly.
"They wish I was dead."
"My god Emily." I hear her whisper. "Let me place this order sweetheart, okay." I nod slightly, she moves to walk into the kitchen, I can hear the rustling of paper, but for some reason it doesn't unsettle me. "Do you like barbeque meat feast?" I hear her ask as she holds up the well-used menu.
"Yes, could I have a garlic bread as well. Please?" I watch as she nods. I find it amusing that she seems to pace as she waits for the phone to be answered. It didn't seem to take her long to place the order, I watch slightly amused as she walks back in carrying the already open bottle of wine and a full unopened on.
"You planning on getting me drunk?" I ask, as I eye her up and down.
"Nope, just after everything earlier I need a drink. Not every day I have a knife pulled out on me." She says giving me a pointed look. "Although seeing a guy hanging in mid-air is also a first for me as well." She says in a laugh.
"Someone wants you?" I muse as I hear her phone go off.
"I won't be a second." She moves again although this time she moves into the kitchen. "Hey Sarah." I can hear the lightness in her voice. "Yes I found her, she's home safe with me now. No I promise she is fine." I hear her grown. "Well how would you react having a knife pulled out on you?" I can hear the frustration in her voice as she speaks. "No Sarah," I hear her sigh heavily, why am I finding this so amusing? "No. Well not yet anyway." I watch as she shakes her head pinching the bridge of her nose as she starts to pace. "Because I said so, just please. You tell the team, and I will kill you Sarah. I mean it." I can hear the warning in her voice as she speaks and I am now wondering if she means that. "I'll see you when I get back, loves ya to kiddo."
"Everything okay?" I watch her nod.
"Yes that was just Sarah asking if I found you." She pauses slightly. "Did you hear her?"
"No, too busy watching you get flustered." I say as I try to hold a laugh back. "What do you mean by team?" I ask.
"I work alongside some people and we are classed as a team. I promise you Emily everything you tell me is safe." She pauses slightly. "And Sarah is just so nosey, she wants to meet you." I watch as she shakes her head slightly. "That woman is and will drive me insane one of these days. But she is harmless."
"You threatened to kill her." I say giving her a pointed look.
"I did and I sort of meant it. My team is my family Emily; we look out for each other. So she wants me to drag you to our family get together next month." She holds her hands up at me slightly. "Trust me, I wouldn't want to put that on you. Maybe in time but as for now. I want this just."
"You don't need to explain." I say softly as I watch her struggle with her words. "Normally me that gets tongue tied." I tease slightly.
"You seem relaxed?" She says in a type of a question.
The thing is I am relaxed and I am unsure why I have now become so settled is it because she knows my secret and still she wants me in her life? Or is it because I know she loves me?
"I am; you've never lied to me Amy. You've never broken your word." I pause. "And I want to trust you."
I watch her smile. "I want you to trust me Emily." I can see the cogs turning behind her eyes. "So you can hear and feel people. You also seem to be able to move things. Can you do anything else?"
I close my eyes. "Yes." I take a deep breath, trying to figure out how to tell her everything, and if I should? "I can feel people's emotions; I can hear their thoughts as though they are talking to me. Not always a good thing as I normally end up with a headache. Never learnt how to block them fully."
"You can block them?" I smile slightly.
"Never had to explain this before Amy so I'm trying." I sigh slightly. "My grandfather taught me how to control my gifts, but before he taught me how to block the voices he died." I swallow slightly. "I was sent back to my parents' home."
"He loved you."
I laugh slightly. "Yes, he never judged me, he never saw me as a problem, or a freak. He saw me. He was there for me when I had no one. He was my world. Then he died and I was sent back to live with them."
"Do you do that often with water?" I chuckle slightly.
"Water calms me. Just something about the peacefulness of the waves."
"They didn't look peaceful before." Her voice holds a slight teasing tone to it.
"I lose control when I get angry and scared, when I can't control my emotions. I can't control myself. It's like drowning with no water."
"So your emotions control your gifts."
I nod, "Your emotions hold you together, when one gets disjointed, you become disjointed. As you have seen"
"Would you show me that again?" I frown slightly.
"Show you what?"
"That whirlpool, it was beautiful."
"Never thought I'd hear someone saying a water twister was beautiful." I laugh slightly. "Maybe, one day. I should say night. Too dangerous during the day."
"No rush, I have forever to get to know the real you." I blush deeply as she speaks.
"I think I do know what love at first sight feels like." I say softly.
All my fear has left me. I feel calm and safe with her.
"What do you think it feels like?"
I take a deep breath as I look at her. "I think it feels like you." Her arms wrap around me tightly as she pulls me into a soft kiss.
"My sweet, sweet girl." I hear her whisper as her head rests against mine. "One day at a time sweetheart. Step by step." I swallow hard as her fingers ghost along my cheek. "Baby steps," she says as her finger traces my lip. "You need to trust me fully first sweetheart. And maybe when you do, you will share the rest."
There was no malice in her voice as she spoke.
It has been six months since me and Amy became an item, six months and I trust her more and more each day. The mean girls have found someone else to torment these days, although I feel sorry for their latest target, but I am also relieved. Maybe Amy will stop worrying so much now. We still only see each other on a Tuesday, only sometimes at the weekend due to her work load. I don't fully know what she does still, aside from working for the government.
I have found that her so called team are pressuring her for them to meet me. I am just not sure if I am ready for that. For the onslaught of their minds, I still struggle blocking people's thoughts and most days I walk around with a headache.
"Hey sweetheart." Her hand rests gently on my shoulder as she takes a seat next to me. "Everything okay?"
"As far as I know." Yes, my social skills are getting somewhat better now as well, much to Amy's relief.
"So you break in a few weeks for the summer, what do you plan on doing? Are you going back to stay with your mother?"
I can't help tensing slightly as she rests her hand on my shoulder. "Not sure yet." I say softly. "Not sure if she wants me there." I admit as my shoulders slump slightly.
"You could always stay with me." I watch as she bites her lower lip. "And I have some vacation days I need to take, so I can arrange to be off, maybe go back down to Florida?"
I chuckle slightly. "You sure you want me at yours? What will happen when you go to work though?"
I frown slightly as she shrugs. "I'm sure, and I am sure you can be trusted on your own at mine. Besides I'd like to spend some more time with you, away from here. Just us."
"And what about your team?" I ask. "You said you normally had cook outs at yours in the summer." I point out slightly.
"I do, normally. But I think they can cope one summer without me." She jokes. "What do you think about going back to Florida?"
"Sounds like a plan. On one condition" I say seriously.
"What's the condition?" Her eyes sparkle slightly as she looks at me.
"When I say can we go a different way; you'll go a different way." I chuckle as she lets out a laugh.
"With pleasure, I don't fancy having a knife pulled out on me again. Or the other." I watch as she tries to hold in the laughter that is building inside her.
"And maybe we can go to the pier and I can show you." Her arms wrap around me as she cuts me off slightly, as she pulls me into a soft kiss.
"I love you." I nod slightly as she blushes.
"We best get to class."
I know, still after all these months I can't bring myself to say those three little words. But at the same time, they aren't just three little words. They are powerful words, words that show how much you truly think of someone. It gives them the power to hurt you. And I am just not ready for that yet.
