17 Speak Up

It dark, quiet, and warm. No, it was hot. Way too hot. I sat up, trying to make sense of the surroundings, my brain fuzzy, either from this horrid heat, or…a memory suddenly flashed in my mind, bringing a stab of pain in my back, visions of being attacked by the bees flooded my thoughts. I tried to piece together what had happened.

I remember a feeling of being carried, shouting, throbbing pain, and heat, always the same, damp warmth, that made each breath a struggle. My eyes were finally able to decode the blurry room, images which progressively grew sharper. The room was not lavishly decorated, but still comfortable. There was a bowl of various food items on the table beside my bed, along with a flask, which hopefully contained something to drink.

Seeing them made me realize how hungry I was. I grabbed for the flask, sniffing briefly at it before taking a sip, tasting the water, and taking several more gulps. I tried to stand, and it took several attempts to raise myself on my shaky legs, but once I did, I managed to take wobbly steps to the door.

Though I was literally starving, I knew I could wait a few minutes, I had to find my guardians. I had to know if they were okay. I cringed at myself, realizing that I was beginning to think of Tidus as a guardian, even when he wasn't. I had previously thought that I would ask him to become a guardian, but that was a rash decision. He didn't want to be my guardian. Why would he?

I frowned, somehow feeling a loss, because of his impending departure, in Luca, where he would most likely find a blitz team, and move on with life.

My hand hovered over the doorknob, as I tried to shake the thoughts from my mind. I closed my eyes for a second, working my facial muscles, which were weak and tired, trying to form a smile. When I had something I hoped would at least remotely resemble one, I opened the door, stepping out into another room. It was lit only by a single lamp, which gave off a dim light, just enough to see all the way around the circular room.

No one was there, and there was still the unbroken silence, leading me to believe that it was night. I felt dizzy, and leaned on the doorframe, wondering where to start. I figured I'd start with the doorway nearest to my own, hoping I wouldn't walk in on someone I didn't know. I used the wall as support, making my way to the room, and knocking quietly on the door. When there was no answer, I knocked again, a bit louder this time, beginning to wonder if I should just go back to bed, and wait until morning, if it was indeed night.

Though, if one of them was injured, dying, I would need to heal them right away. I felt even more dizzy at that prospect, but ended up pushing open the door. The room was much less comfortable looking than my own, having no furnishings except a mat on the floor, which was occupied by none other than a sleeping Tidus. He seemed fine, though cuts and scrapes marked his arms and legs, and a large, torn wound ran all the way across his face. Seeing he wasn't in dire condition, I stepped out of the room, checking each consecutive one. Lulu was in the next one, also having only a few, very minor wounds, and was also sleeping. When I entered the room to the right of hers, I saw Wakka, with a bandage wrapped around his arm, and a few small ones in various other places, but he too, seemed to be fine. At the next room, I had expected to see Kimahri, but when I knocked, I was startled to hear a low gruff voice say, "What is it?" Though Kimahri's voice is gruff, I was sure it wasn't him. "I'm sorry, never mind."

He didn't answer, so I went to next rooms. They were all empty, Kimahri was not here. I struggled back to Lulu's room, pushing open the door.

"Lulu. Lulu, wake up." She rolled over, mumbling something unintelligible, blinking her eyes. "Hmmm? Yuna? What are you doing up?" She quickly gained her bearings, sitting up and giving me her best "I'm your mother and I'm scolding you." look.

"Go back to bed, you need rest." She laid down again, but I wasn't ready to leave just yet. "But Lulu, where's Kimahri? Is he okay?" She answered quickly, relieving me.

"He's fine. He lost a lot of blood, but he's in the other side of the temple, recuperating. Don't go to see him until morning. Now, go back to bed!" I nodded, feeling greatly relieved that all of us had made it through the jungle, and now I was ready to get some real rest.

When I woke up later, I felt much better, and I rose, eating the food left for me, and finishing the last of the water. I attempted to fix my hair, but found that I was entirely too filthy. When I left the room, there was a young nun waiting in the central room.

"Ah, lady summoner. Your guardians are all still sleeping…and um, your companion, too…" she looked a bit confused, clearly because it was very unusual for a summoner to travel with anyone except guardians. In fact, as I thought back on the thousand years of history I had practically memorized in my time as a summoner's apprentice, no summoner had ever traveled with someone who was not their guardian.

But, there seemed to be more. She seemed more confused than just that, and there was a pause between us, probably her hoping that I would explain. I decided against it, feeling that since I was the summoner, I had every right to keep my reasons to myself. When I thought about it, he really didn't have to come at all, he was just…there.

No one asked him to come, he just did…I wondered why, beginning to wonder if he maybe would be willing to become a guardian. After all, he didn't seem to have much left, and it was HE who had chosen to come along. I realized that I had just stood there thinking while the nun waited for a reply.

"Oh, yes, they had a lot of traveling to do, all carrying me…I was poisoned." I was hoping she'd introduce me to the summoner who'd healed me, if they'd not already left, but something else distracted me. The memory grew clearer, and I remembered being carried through the courtyard by Tidus. I was sure that Lulu didn't like that. I felt my cheeks warm at this, wondering why my own guardians had not carried me. I thought maybe my memory was off.

"Um, did-did you see who brought me up the stairs?" She looked even more curious, answering slowly at first, then speeding up. "Yes…it was your companion…both your male guardians passed out as soon as they reached the top. One's wrist was cut, and the other was badly injured in his stomach. Your mage looked too weak to carry you."

I knew what she was implying, that the only one who was not my guardian, was the reason why I was here today, instead of back in the jungle, dead from the poison. He had saved my life, again. I wanted him to be my guardian. The only question was, was he willing. There was another silence between us, and in that, the nun seemed to remember her place, that a summoner was allowed to do anything they wish, as long as they finish their pilgrimage.

"M, m'lady, would you like food, or to bathe?" I gave her a half smile. "Oh, thank you, I've already eaten, so I'll bathe." "This way." She gestured to the courtyard, and we left, all the way across the temple yard, to another door, and a room identical in build, to the one we left. I saw from the sun's position that it was late afternoon. We entered the room, and she led me to another, which had a basin and a cauldron of water, in a small, lit fireplace. She expertly filled the basin with just the right temperature, then leaving me to myself.

I hadn't had a proper bath in weeks, and I now felt much better, though I couldn't say the same for my clothes. Though they were now clean, they were tattered, torn, and stained. Still I put them back on, once they were dry, and returned to the other side of the temple. The sun was now setting, the heat of the day still lingering, making me sweat, even as I just walked across the courtyard. When I entered the room, I was surprised to see Tidus sitting at the table, gorging himself.

He looked a bit startled when I walked in, his cheeks puffed out, his mouth absolutely stuffed with food. I smiled, and he struggled to swallow, taking several moments to do so, then smiling.

"Hi. Glad to see you're better. I was scared…" He blinked, loudly cleared his throat, and looked around, as if to see that Lulu wasn't standing there, ready to beat him to a pulp. I sat down at the other side of the table, choosing a dark red fruit. "Yeah…I'm better. A nun told me it was because of you…" His cheeks became visibly red, and he lowered his eyes to the table.

"Uh, yeah, your guardians were all to weak or injured to carry you…" I wasn't exactly sure what it was that embarrassed him, but I was pretty sure it had to do with carrying me. I shifted in my seat, taking a small bite of the fruit, trying to figure out how to phrase my question. There was an awkward silence, but I knew that I should ask soon.

I opened my mouth, ready to speak, but for the first time that day, I actually took a good look at the young man sitting across from me. He looked tired, no, exhausted, he had a chunk of skin torn out of his face, bandages around his stomach, mussed hair, and his whole being caked in dirt. I thought there was no way in Spira that he would want to be my guardian.

So, instead of asking him for help, I stood, offering my help to him. "You're hurt. Let me heal you." He frowned, shaking his head.

"No, no. I can handle it. You need your strength." "No, really. I'm strong enough now. I'll be okay." I kept walking towards him, determined to win this one. "No, I'm fine!" He had a slight smile now, as if he thought it was funny that I didn't want him to be hurt. "Please! Just let me help you." He rolled his eyes, but then got serious, holding up a hand to signify me to stop.

"Yuna. There was a summoner. She couldn't heal you, when you were poisoned." I was confused at this, wondering how I was now healed then. "She couldn't? Then who healed me?" "A little girl. She…I think…I think she passed out…or worse. After she healed you…" A little girl had healed me. No one who was not a summoner, or a summoner's apprentice, had ever healed anyone in all of Spira's history.

"She passed out? How young was she?" "She looked about six…she was already leaning on a crutch when she healed you…" If she was six, there was no way she would be an apprentice at that age. I realized there was nothing I could do about it, though Tidus didn't know that.

"I can't help her. Weakness brought on by healing cannot be healed. The healer either has to recuperate…or…not…" I folded my hands, bowing my head, and leaned on the table, hoping that my journey wouldn't cause anymore deaths. I just wanted to do this without hurting anyone…except myself. I would do anything for Spira. But I wasn't prepared to harm anyone else for it. My guardians were willing to give their lives, if need be, but that was their choice. Tidus just sat there, staring at the dried fish in his hand.

"Yuna! You're okay, ya?" I raised my head, seeing an injured, but very happy Wakka. Just seeing him grin brought a smile to my face. "Wakka. Yes, I'm okay." He enveloped me in a one armed bear hug, his other arm hanging limply. "Hm? Reunion?" Lulu stepped gracefully out of her room, and joined the hug, smoothing my hair, a habit she had formed years ago.

I pulled out of the hug, knowing we had to get back to business as soon as possible. I wanted to get the Kilika trials over with, too. "I can heal all of you, then rest tonight, and then tomorrow morning, we can leave for the trials." I hadn't seen the nun step into the room, in time to witness our hug, and hear my words.

"M'lady, if I may, you should rest longer than that. Lady Dona, the other summoner here, said she began her pilgrimage a week before your guardians say you did, and yet she arrived only the day before yesterday, and has rested two days. It seems you and your guardians are going very quickly. You almost died. Your guardians are worn and injured." The nun was bolder than most, but I admired that. I considered her words before answering.

"What you say is true, we are in a hurry, but we have good reason to be." I turned to Lulu and Wakka.

"What do you say?" "Whateva' you think is best Yuna." "Yes, Yuna. We are your guardians." I smiled, feeling encouraged by their loyalty. "We will go on tomorrow. The faster, the better." I turned to the nun.

"Please, take me to Kimahri." She nodded, opening the door. I went after her, my two guardians following me, though Tidus didn't. When we got to the room Kimahri was in, I hurried to his side. His breathing was slightly uneven and labored, but he seemed like he was holding on.

"Kimahri. I'm going to heal you." He said nothing, just looked at me through foggy eyes. I placed a hand over the wide bandage wrapped around his entire torso, and focused my mind, praying. It worked quickly, sending shooting pain through my side for a few seconds. When I finished, Kimahri's eyes were cleared of their fogginess, and he sat up, patting his side.

"Kimahri thanks you." My vision tripled, and I smiled, trying to see which of the three of him I saw was the real one. Apparently, I hadn't fully regained my strength, but I tried not to let my guardians see it. "Your turn, Wakka." I had decided to leave the minor wounds to heal by themselves, and just focus on the ones that would hinder our ability to fight in the trials. Wakka extended his arm to me, and I had to guess which of the three arms was the real one. I guessed correctly, and no one noticed, so I prayed, feeling pain all the way across my arm, but it faded quickly. "Lulu, do you need any healing?"

"No. You look tired, you should get something to eat, and then rest. Come."

We all went back to the room were Tidus waited, stuffing his face, and I was feeling wobbly by then, and had to lean on Kimahri's arm. We all sat to eat, guzzling water and gobbling the dried fish and fruit until it was gone. No one spoke, because all our mouths were too full with food to say a word. When we finished, however, I folded my hands in my lap, trying not to keel over from feeling so full.

"Everyone, tomorrow, we will go into the Trials." There was a nervous air between the guardians and myself, we all knew the stakes of going in there. Tidus looked around at the concerned faces. "What's so bad about the Trials?" I took a shaky breath, as Lulu gave him an icy glare. "The Kilika Trials are the most dangerous of them all. As you may have guessed, its element is fire, as Besaid's was water."

I looked directly at him. "Fire is the only element that consumes soul, as well as body. When a pyrefly lights on fire…it never goes out." A thick silence filled the room, as he took in the information. "When someone burns to death, their pyreflies burn forever, and cannot be sent." He shook his head slightly, as if trying to clear away fog. I saw his hand go to his arm, pinching it, but he only frowned when nothing happened. I saw that he didn't intend to say anything, so I continued.

"We will rest tonight, but early in the morning, we will leave." All my guardians nodded, and then I realized that I had not addressed Tidus. "Tidus, you will stay here, since you are not a guardian." He appeared relieved for a second, and then frowned. "Wait." He looked around at my guardians, something like anger showing in his expression. "What if you can't get her through it?" No one said anything. Lulu stood abruptly, stating, "This conversation is over. We will not fail again." Wakka and Kimahri both nodded gravely, and rose from their own seats, filing out of the room, presumably to clean themselves up. Tidus and I stayed seated, waiting for them to be gone. As the door clicked shut, the words were begging to be released. I thought that maybe he would be willing to be my guardian. But I felt as though I had no right to ask him, no right to put him through so much danger. Three to one chances, we won't all make it out.

I shivered, feeling ill, but instead of speaking, I stood, going towards my room. I fumbled for words, but the only thing that came out was, "Goodnight." He nodded seriously at me. "Night."

TidusxYuna Always