A/N: Special thanks to Madame Cross Marian for the nice review- I'm glad you liked the Gaara scene! I hope this chapter is enjoyable- it was one of my favourites to write! Especially the second part…
Disclaimer: Nope, this isn't mine- I just get to mess around with it a little bit
"Troublesome," Nara Shikamaru murmured from his makeshift table, tilting his head to dodge an incoming kunai. 'Makeshift' because it was formed out of a few overturned vegetable crates and just large enough to hold the towering stacks of paper on it that threatened to tip with every wayward breeze.
The Nara was currently sitting outside of an old cabbage stand, which had been rolled over by an infuriated Akimichi earlier that day. The cabbage stand in question had been one of the many secret betting stations, originally set up because it was in a place Naruto would never willingly go, (or could go, considering that ban was still in effect); the vegetable section of the market. Ingenious planning, really. Or rather, planned by a genius.
Only a Nara was allowed to run a betting station- at least within Konoha. Being too lazy to care about The Bet or the outcome of Naruto's love life, it was only they who could be trusted to efficiently run what was considered the most important industry of Konoha with no foul play or leaked information.
Which was an absolute drag for the current Nara running this particular stand.
The Nara usually took turns operating the secret betting sites, and Shikamaru's luck was apparently absolute shit- of course The Bet had to end on the day he had to run the stand! The stand which was crushed into rubble, so now he had to make do with some overturned crates. To make matters worse, a shipping war was in progress right in front of him, and Temari, his kind-of-sort-of-girlfriend, was the ring leader of one of the sides.
"SasuNaru!" Hagane Kotestu shouted, popping up from behind the barricade of boxes he and a large group of other shinobi had formed to the left of the stand, blocking the middle of the market.
"GaaNaru, you absolute moron!" Temari screeched back from her opposing fortress. The Suna delegates and other shinobi on her side were holed up in a considerably more impressive tower constructed from the remnants of a variety of food stands, mish mashed together into an unholy towering structure. It was the Frankenstein's monster of defence structures, and leaned precariously with every heavy gust.
None of the 'GaaNaru' shippers seemed to notice, or if they did, give a shit, too caught up with their feud against the 'SasuNaru' shippers to care.
"My cabbages…" the poor man who was practically comatose beside Shikamaru whispered. The cabbage stand owner was hunched in upon himself, his eyes sightlessly staring at the ongoing conflict in front of them. Shikamaru couldn't force himself to feel particularly sorry for the vegetable businessman- it was his own fault for selling out his stand to The Bet to make some extra cash! He should have known that shinobi were crazy, and that anyone even remotely connected to The Bet had no hope of coming out unscathed.
"It has to be Sasuke!" Shizune cried out, peeking over the tomato crate she currently hid behind. Genma, who was sharing her crate, threw a paint bomb at the opposing fortress to punctuate her words. "Naruto chased after him for years- I heard her, always nagging shishou for status reports on him. Clearly the concerns of someone in love!"
Kankurou snorted from his position beneath his sister, his face paint smudged into splotchy purple smears and his Karasu puppet a chewed up mess on his back. His arms, oddly enough, were raised floppily in the air, hanging invisible strings no one else could see (any Hyuuga that could was hidden away in their compound, too busy comforting the Hyuuga heiress).
"You idiot! Naruto loves her fellow jinchuuriki! During the… unfortunate chuunin exams, it was she who helped him find his way, and gave him his dream to be Kazekage!" The force of Kankurou's declaration caused his arms to shake, which in turn made the tower precariously lean. Quickly readjusting his hands, Kankurou corrected the tower with the chakra strings that were now seen to be the only thing keeping the tower standing.
"Sasuke was Naruto's first kiss!" a purple haired civilian cried out.
"Not by choice," Temari called down. "And besides- she risked her life to save Gaara from Akatstuki! That's dedication to someone you love!"
"Yeah, well Sasuke and Naruto share an unbreakable bond!" Genma called from below, covertly shifting his body to block the actions of the dark-haired medic at his side, hiding that she was in the process of loading a modified senbon launcher. "The Rikudou Sennin himself confirmed their destined bond, and it was their love for each other that broke the cycle of hatred!"
"We heard things very differently- I'm pretty sure the Sennin said they were his reincarnated descendants… that would make any relationship between them incest!" Temari finished with a triumphant smirk.
SasuNaru shippers gasped in unison at the enormous slight against their ship, and as one began to exude a terrifying amount of killing intent. A flurry of senbon flew towards the tower, and panicked screams could be heard as they met their marks. Kankurou, too busy managing his chakra strings, was unable to dodge the projectiles. The poison on the senbon quickly did their work, and as his eyes rolled back into his head, Kankurou fell, the chakra strings emanating from his hands fading into blue wisps, and then vanishing without a trace. The tower began to lean…
Kotetsu, the unspoken ringleader, took his place to stand upon one of the crates, and turned back to look at his comrades in arms. "They may take our lives, but they'll never sink our ship!" Raising a sword that Shikamaru was sure had formed from nothing, the newfound leader yelled in defiance before turning to charge against the GaaNaru shippers, his fellow SasuNaru shippers racing after him.
The GaaNaru shippers responded to the challenge with violent enthusiasm- as one they descended from the monstrous tower. Temari herself glided down on her fan, before literally crashing into the fray. What followed was chaos.
Shikamaru sighed tiredly as the fierce battle broke out in the market square. He rested his elbow on the 'table' and layed the side of his head in his propped hand as he considered the brawl, before letting out a snort. The Nara closed his eyes, and found himself wondering what the hell he had done to deserve this. What a drag…
His self-pitying was soon interrupted by a newcomer.
"Uh, excuse me, this is, uh, one of the betting stations… right?" Shikamaru drug his eyes open and lazily looked up at the intruder who dared to interrupt his attempted slumber. It was a Takigakure shinobi, probably one of the ones in the new Shinobi Village Exchange Program. His yellow eyes were twitching from side to side, and his curly black hair was a windswept mess, but his uniform itself was reasonably tidy- he must have escaped the worst of the bar-fight style brawls, then…
"Yeah- got a bet to place?"
"Uh, Yes! I'd like to place 2 000 Ryo on Inuzuka… Kiba? Pretty sure that's his name."
"One second," Shikamaru mumbled, and began digging through the left most stack of paper. The Takigakure shinobi looked behind him at the current chaos, awestruck by the mindless destruction.
"Um, why isn't the Hokage sorting this fight out? Actually, why isn't he stopping any of this? I was just in the shopping district- there's this creepy mist everywhere, and I'm pretty sure they're doing some sort of… cult ritual in there to 'determine the outcome of the bet', involving a lot of ramen. Shouldn't the Hokage fix this? Or… is he, I don't know, off reading porn somewhere?"
Shikamaru snorted in response, pausing in his search for the necessary paperwork. "I don't know where he is, but knowing him he's probably having an emotional crisis." Ignoring the yellow eyed shinobi's garbled "What?!", Shikamaru resumed his search for the paper.
"Besides," the Nara continued, "He doesn't seem to read porn anymore- after Jiraiya-sama died, he refused to buy any of the copies under the new successor author. Which is a shame really- I've heard from Ino that they're better than the original series." Suddenly hissing in pain, Shikamaru whipped one of his hands back and stuck the pointer finger of his left hand in his mouth. "Troublesome paper cuts," he mumbled.
Eventually, the Nara found the paper he needed within the monstrously large stack, and handed it over to the Takigakure shinobi to fill out. He held out his hand for the necessary money, and, after carefully counting the bills, placed it into a box that looked like it could double as a bear trap. As Shikamaru waited for the Takigakura shinobi to finish filling out his bet, he idly listened to a woman screaming as she ran away from the market, yelling something about 'beets.'
Lazily he looked out to the square to watch Temari beat Kotetsu over the head with her fan, admiring the determined cast of her eyes (and the impressive heaves of her bust).
Shikamaru absentmindedly muttered, "Troublesome woman, refusing to see reason. It can't be Gaara- even the Kazekage knows that. Besides, Naruto has been in love with someone since The Bet was created, just after the wave mission…"
The Nara's musings on the futility of the woman's he kind-of-sort-of-was in love with's bet were interrupted by a sudden BOOM! The monstrous tower had finally given out, and had crumpled in on itself as it crashed to the ground. Dust suddenly clouded the street from the force of its fall, and Shikamaru coughed and spluttered as he waved away the debris clouding around his mouth. He cast a discreet wind jutsu to clear the air around him, but only on a small scale so as to not disturb his papers.
Another shinobi apparently had a similar idea, because the next thing Shikamaru saw was a tornado whipping into formation, clearing away the debris… And the pile of bets that had been on his table.
Shikamaru stared blankly after the scattered papers, the papers that, if they were to be destroyed, would ruin the betting station's worth of bets that had been created today… The Nara had backups archives for all previous bets, which they kept copies of in each stand, but today alone had amassed an incredible amount which were not yet 'insured'.
The voice of Nara Yoshino echoed like an ominous foretelling of doom in his head- "Those bets better not be one smudge out of place, or I'll ground you for life!"
…A racing shinobi stepped on five papers in a row, slamming them directly into the mud as he attempted to throw his opponent off his back. A kunoichi's wildly thrown kunai missed its intended target, and instead struck four of the papers from the air. The remaining mass of paper began to meet similar fates, one. By. ONE.
And Shikamaru Nara, for the second time in his life, snapped.
"My cabbages," the original stall owner muttered once again, oblivious to the Nara that beside him rose out of his seat. Like a raging wave, cloying darkness swallowed the entire market. Within the man-made night, the unleashed beast proceeded to beat the living shit out of everyone present.
Apparently, it is possible for a Nara to not be lazy- you just have to drive them over the edge, and let the lingering threat of a mother's punishment hang over their head.
Xxx
Shortly after returning from the wave mission, life returned to normal- or, as normal as life can get in a shinobi village.
The bonds between his students were definitely strengthening, and many other shinobi had commented on the marked change. Sakura and Naruto's friendship was ever-growing, and the pink-haired civilian herself was working hard to be a kunoichi worthy of attention. Sasuke himself was actually commending her efforts! The relationship between the Uzumaki and Uchiha had also cooled considerably. They still weren't exactly what Kakashi would call 'friends', but there was a newfound respect between them that certainly hadn't been there before.
Naruto was less likely to rant or complain about her teammate's brooding ways, and Sasuke was easier going around the blonde. He had even cracked a smile at the last prank she had pulled on the village, an ingenious system of traps that resulted in the entire vegetable section of the market closing for a week due to a variety of chicken related incidences- it would take months for the stench to clear, and Naruto had been indefinitely banned from the premises of the vegetable market.
When asked where she had managed to acquire all the chickens necessary to pull off the pranks, Naruto had come up with some bullshit excuse that she, 'Knew a guy from when I busted a chicken smuggling ring when I was in the academy, dattebayo!'. Honestly, who was she trying to fool? It was still a mystery where she got all those chickens, though…
Regardless, Kakashi figured things were finally looking up.
So of course the Sandaime had to pop his happy bubble of obliviousness.
"You want to what now?!" Kakashi exclaimed in panic, single eye wide with terror and body as tight as Gai's buttocks in the face of his mischievously grinning leader.
"You heard me- I want to start a little… wager." Sarutobi Hiruzen leaned back in his chair, and if he wasn't so image-concerned he probably would have propped his feet on his paperwork covered desk. Giving a light smoke of his pipe, the Hokage's eyes lit with amusement at the sight the shinobi in front of him made. "You've never had a problem with betting before- don't tell me you're chickening out now?"
Kakashi cringed at the heavy handed pun, then sweated under his leader's perusal of his form, hands clenched tightly together behind his back. Part of him wished Naruto was here in the office with him- she would have done something ridiculous by now that would have saved him from answering this particular question. Though, considering the details of the bet, it was probably for the best that she wasn't here…
"Sir, I just feel that it would be highly… inappropriate of me to, to-"
"Betting on a genin's love life isn't the end of the world, Kakashi," Hiruzen drawled out. Lightly rolling his eyes, he leaned forward to rest his chin on his clasped hands, elbows propped on his desk. "It's a harmless little wager, just between you and me- not to be taken seriously. So I'll say it again- I bet you that Naruto will eventually end up with Uchiha Sasuke- she's already half in love with him!"
The Hokage innocently grinned at his frozen subordinate, inwardly chuckling at making the Hatake so uncomfortable. It served him right for always showing up late!
"…Sir, I may not want to bet with you, but I can tell you one thing- Naruto isn't in love with Sasuke. She would rather give up pranking than be with him! I have no idea where you could have come up with that."
Hiruzen pouted at Kakashi, and the Hatake shuddered at the sight- old men should not pout. That probably just shaved 20 years off his life span…
"Shortly after your mission to wave, Naruto and I had a little chat." The Hokage looked to the side, and Kakashi followed his eyes to a picture on the desk. A little blonde girl was smiling enthusiastically from the frame, pig tails lopsided on her head and dirt smudging her whiskered cheeks.
"And you know what she asked me? She said- 'Old-man, how do you know if you're in love?' You should have seen her, looking so serious- she could hardly meet my eyes! Apparently that Haku fellow she befriended on the wave mission left quite an impression on her. Learning about precious people… It really left its mark. And the young Uchiha, rescuing her from certain peril? Naruto seems to take after her mother in more than just personality…" Hiruzen's eyes gained a misty quality as they lost focus, staring at some distant past.
Kakashi didn't think Naruto would be so easily swayed with her affections- after all, Kakashi had also rescued her from the Demon Brothers, and she certainly didn't like him, no siree! No, Naruto had never struck him as the type to moon after little boys. Considering the instability of her childhood, she would probably look for strength of character, steadfast loyalty, and a sense of humour (she did so love her pranks, after all). Sasuke just didn't seem to fit. No, if Naruto did have a crush, it was on someone much, much different…
"Not to mention Sasuke's newfound appreciation for her pranks!" Hiruzen crowed, interrupting Kakashi's meandering thoughts. "She told me once, long ago when she was still in the academy, that the best person she knew was one who could handle a joke. She must have known, even then, that they could get on people's nerves, but she almost treated them like… a test. A rite of passage, even. One that the young Uchiha has just passed." Hiruzen once again leaned back in his chair, self-satisfied with his clear-cut evidence.
Realization hit Kakashi with the force of a falling eraser. But he did what he did best; smile and move along like a green maniac was on his tail.
"Mah, mah, Hokage-sama, if you're pushing so hard, I guess I'll see your bet. But I think that Naruto won't end up with Sasuke- and that's that." Kakashi smiled with a plastic grin, the sharingan beneath his scarred eye twitching with repressed emotion.
"Excellent! I'll just have my secretary finalize this bet. Does 1 000 ryo sound good to you?" Kakashi forced his head to bob in consent. "Good, good- Hitomi!"
At the sound of her name, the secretary in question strode into the room. She gave off a distinctly stern impression, with her orderly brown bob, wire rimmed glasses, and narrowed green eyes. She was clothed fully in black regulation ninja gear, and the only colour she sported was from the white wraps tying her pant legs. Her hands were occupied by a clipboard, and she tapped at it with a pen that looked like it could double as a knife. All in all, she was rather terrifying, in a grumpy, kill-your-joy-and-any-hope-of-reprieve-from-paperwork kind of way.
"Yes, Hokage-sama?" she clipped out.
"Take note of a bet made today- no, The Bet, between Kakashi and I. I think Naruto will eventually end up with Sasuke, but he thinks otherwise- on the table is 1 000 ryo."
She stared blankly back at the Hokage. "You had me reschedule your appointment with the merchant guild members, and ignored your current paperwork, so that you could bet on the Orange Men- the Uzumaki's love life?"
Hiruzen smiled cheerfully in response. "Exactly!"
"Very well, sir." Her professional tone did little to hide her clear distaste, and she side-eyed Kakashi's slouching form with narrowed eyes, apparently deciding that he was the source of the Hokage's unseemly betting. She quickly wrote up the sum of their conversation on her clipboard, eyes furrowing in thought, absentmindedly making them sign the agreement she had written up. Eventually, she finished the task, but by now she seemed oddly thoughtful, and made frequent glances towards the paper in her hands. After giving a respectful nod to the Hokage, she pivoted on her heel and exited the room, leaving Kakashi to breathe easier now that the dragon of the tower was gone.
"I'll take my leave then, Hokage-sama." Kakashi made to escape the room, but Hiruzen motioned for him to stop before he could.
"I think we can both agree that it would be… for the best if Naruto were to never find out about this little wager of ours." Kakashi inclined his head in agreement, and made to turn again, believing those were Hiruzan's final words, but the Hokage wasn't done. "And no foul play Kakashi- I don't want you sabotaging Sasuke's chances, or trying to speed up the outcome! The Bet will end when it ends, and not a moment sooner. This is Naruto's personal life, after all."
"…Of course, Hokage-sama."
"Hitomi! You caught that, right?" Hiruzen shouted towards the hall.
After a moment, the muffled response came. "Yes sir!"
Kakashi finally escaped the Hokage's office, tension fading as he crossed the doorway. As he made his way down the hallway, a peculiar sight caught his attention: the secretary, Hitomi, was currently huddled with a few of the other office workers, all of them discussing a sheet of paper on her desk. Fervent words were exchanged, and Hitomi was constantly making adjustments to the paper.
A trickle of unease crept up his spine, but Kakashi shook his head to clear his thoughts- he was far too paranoid. What was the worst that could happen? It was just a little bet, after all…
