As soon as he heard Neville's "come in", Teddy walked in to the office, threw his bag down on the floor and slumped in a chair.
"We did werewolves today," he stated.
"Ah." Neville put down his quill, feeling irritated. He had asked the other staff to let him know before they covered anything that could be considered sensitive. It was something they had had to deal with a number of times over recent years. He had wanted to be able to give Teddy a heads up, give him the chance to opt out if he wanted to. After the nightmares Teddy had experienced and the insecurities he faced, who knew what emotional rollercoaster this would set him off on? He would be having a very a very pointed conversation with Professor Woodville later.
"I'm sorry, Teddy. You shouldn't have been put through that, not without warning anyway.
"It wasn't just the lesson," Teddy admitted. "It was the look in everyone's eyes. The fear, the revulsion, the whispering afterwards..."
He stared down at his hands, as if expecting them to suddenly sprout fur and claws.
"I'm sure you've been told a hundred times what a good man your father was," Neville reasoned. "He was a brilliant teacher, a brave fighter, a loyal friend. He deserves all of the recognition he has had since, the memorials, his Order of Merlin..."
"I know, but he was still a werewolf. He will never break away from that, despite everything he's done."
"You'd be surprised Teddy, things are really changing now."
Teddy twisted his hands in anguish. "You can't change what people think! You can change laws, but you'll never change that look on someone's face when they hear the word werewolf."
The images of the last hour were still floating around in Teddy's head; the looks of revulsion and horror and the gasps of disgust as werewolf bites and transformations were described. It wasn't that any of it had shocked him. He had dedicated a large amount of time recently to researching werewolves and was far better educated about them than he imaged Professor Woodville to be. He had seen all of the images that had been shared before, heard all of the accounts. He had even expected the response; ever since Victoire's outburst eighteen months ago he had realised that he would never be able to escape that reaction. It would be incredibly hard to change hundreds of year's worth of prejudice, whatever actions the Ministry might take.
What bothered Teddy more than anything, however, was that he had sat there and listened to it. As the class had debated the rights of werewolves, pondered over new legislation and the entitlement of anyone with that 'condition', he had merely sat there in silence. He had heard some of his classmates say terrible things and hadn't said anything at all to oppose them. Even when the vast majority of students had argued that werewolves deserved better, he had still failed to comment. He had always told himself that he wasn't ashamed of his father, but surely his behaviour today proved the exact opposite?
"I wanted to stand up for him," he said to Neville, his voice barely above a whisper. "I wanted to say that it didn't matter and that werewolves could be good people, but I was just so scared that someone would suspect something. It sounds terrible, but I don't want anyone looking at me with the same look of disgust they gave those pictures."
It was Neville's turn to look anxious. Teddy recognised the awkward pause; it was one that his grandmother or Harry would sometimes adopt when the response they wanted to give was quite terrible, and they were trying to find a better way to deliver it.
"You have to understand that it's hard for people," Neville began. "Fenrir Greyback and those he was involved with caused chaos during the war. People don't forget that. It's like the families associated with Death Eaters; have you noticed how the rest of the school avoid some of the students in Slytherin? Children who may have had Death Eaters for uncles, aunts, grandparents? Many of them detest that someone related to them could have played any part in the atrocities that happened, they are ashamed to have the surname they do. They weren't even old enough to understand what was going on at the time of the war, yet still they are marginalised for what their families did."
Teddy recalled the adults speaking once about losing their childhoods to the war and lamenting how the next generation would have a freedom they never experienced, a carefree existence. However Teddy was realising more and more that they weren't free. They were still haunted by the prejudices that the war brought about, terms like werewolf, Death Eater, Mudblood still held deep connotations, however much people tried to change things. Even with his limited understanding of the war, he felt encased by its aftermath. He was a war orphan, brought up amongst families shattered by what had happened. The adults that surrounded him all bore scars, both internal and external. If you looked carefully, you could still see the terrors that plagued them. There were still hushed whispers of nightmares, still moments when conversation stopped and they were lost to memory. How many more students at Hogwarts felt the same suffocation that he did? How many more had sat through lessons that resonated far more deeply than they should, before retreating to a dormitory to pull themselves together before returning to the normality of the rest of the day?
"I'd never really thought about what it was like for anyone else," Teddy admitted.
Neville smiled kindly. "I think you've had enough on your plate. Just know that you're not alone in this, that plenty of other students here fear what could happen if they speak out of turn. This castle holds too many secrets." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "I'm not going to lie to you and say no one would be bothered if you turned around and said that your dad was a werewolf. However I do believe that things are getting better, that people are beginning to see things differently. Don't be scared of who you are, Teddy, and don't ever be ashamed of your father. He did so much good."
Teddy nodded. No more words would come.
"You could always try talking to Victoire about how you're feeling," Neville suggested tentatively.
Teddy made a noncommittal noise.
"She does understand what you're going through, you know? We've had quite a lot of chats about werewolves and the prejudices against them, actually. I think Hermione is rubbing off on her." He chuckled to himself. "True, she hasn't suffered the same as you have, she doesn't live with the same prejudices but she has a lot more idea than most people and she cares about you Teddy, she really, really does."
Teddy remained silent. Ever since THAT conversation, things between Victoire and him had failed to return to what they once were. They exchanged pleasantries when they bumped into each other around school, made small talk at family events and played chess or Quidditch together at The Burrow to pass time when the babies were becoming too tiresome, but it wasn't like it used to be. She had hurt him in a way that he couldn't quite forgive, so that he felt like he could never fully trust her again. That wasn't to say that there weren't times when he desperately wanted to seek her out; he had walked over to the Gryffindor table so many times, only to turn back again, written so many letters that he had letter torn apart...
"She asks about you all the time, you know? Cries sometimes, wishing she could make things better."
Teddy didn't want to admit that he knew. He still watched her, of course. Sometimes he would morph into someone else, so he could follow her down the corridor, make sure that she was okay. From what he observed however, she was still busy being little miss perfect Gryffindor, with her giggling friends and gaggle of admirers. What was the point in having heart to hearts that would just open old wounds again?
Neville sighed. "You should find someone to talk to though, Teddy. Don't keep all of this bottled up inside; it's not healthy. You're a teenager, you need to live a little, have some fun." He lowered his voice, glancing suspiciously at the walls. "From what Harry has said, your dad was a bit of a mischief maker...go and celebrate his life by playing a prank or two, I know you have enough contacts to keep you supplied in that department...we could all do with a laugh from time to time!"
Teddy did his best to smile.
A/N: So I've jumped ahead in time a bit here; however I will be feeling in some gaps in the next few chapters.
Thank you so much for all of your reviews, favourites and follows, it's so nice to know people are reading this!
