"I can't take this anymore," I muttered as I stuffed my things into my bag. Tears kept flooding and my chest was starting to ache. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. "H-hai?" I stifled.
"It's me," nii-san's voice said. I sighed and stood to answer the door. "Oi! Why are you crying?" he asked in surprise. MY legs gave up. I fell to the ground and he went down with me. He took me in his arms and hugged me tight.
"What's wrong?" he asked. but I couldn't answer. All I could say was "I'm leaving."
"W-why?!" he asked. "You didn't get expelled, didn't you?" I shook my head.
"I'm leaving by choice. I just can't take it anymore. It's killing me..."
"W-what is?"
"Love."
I stood up, zipped up my suitcases, and left the room, headed straight for Saotome's office. I knocked and opened the door.
"Yes, my dear Rikka," he said with his usual voice.
"I'd like to leave Saotome Academy." He was silent for a while but then he spoke up and said something unexpected. "You can't last any longer, can't you?" My eyes went wide in disbelief.
"Rikka-chan, you are a child of several masks. Your emotions do not simply reveal itself to anyone. A few weeks after you began here at the Academy, I thought the certain emotions that were to run wild would be contained and unexposed."
"So... you know?" I asked and he nodded.
"Of course, you can still train at the agency if you wish," he said but I shook my head.
"I think I'll take a long vacation first," I said.
"I understand. But please, do come back whenever you want to. It may not be authorized at the Academy but you will always be an exception when it comes to the agency. Your talent, you see, is a very rare one - one that should be shared."
"And it will be," I said. "Just not now." I bowed, said goodbye, and left. I walked towards my room to find that nii-san was no longer in there. I thanked the muses that he was gone. He would have made things harder than it already was. I grabbed my bags and headed for the main doors. My tears stopped streaming down my cheeks. I wanted it to stay that way but luck wasn't exactly on my side today.
"Rikka?" Jinguji called after me. I didn't dare turn around. I could sense the rest of the group with him - even her. I kept walking towards the doors and stepped out into the open.
"Why are you leaving?" nii-san asked, grabbing my wrist. "It's nearly graduation. Why leave now?"
"It's something much more important than graduation."
"Then please tell me, what is it?" he pleaded. I sighed.
"I broke something important, nii-san. I broke it for more than one person and I hate myself for that." I faced nii-san and gave him a hug goodbye then walked for the gates. I was already so close - until the rain started pouring down on me. I kept walking though.
"I hate my life," I muttered.
To think that I could actually fall in love with five wonderful men. To think that even happened. I just can't believe it. And worst of all, it hurts because nothing will ever happen - all because of a certain person. Even as I leave, I feel that that hatred will last for a long long time.
I never thought that something as important as love could be ruined by a devil in disguise.
It has been months since I left the Academy. The guys have successfully debuted and my two friends have graduated with flying colors but are yet to debut. Though I still hated myself for thinking something abstract like love was important, I was doing quite well doing a few gigs here and there but nothing official... yet.
"Rikka-chan!" my girls, Misu and Sora called out for me. "Have you thought about his offer yet?" Sora asked and I nodded. They smirked at each other.
"Well?" Misu asked.
"I accepted," I said with a smirk as well. "After all, it has been a while since I heard that extravagant man's voice."
"Then I suppose a debut is in order."
