A/N: A slightly shorter chapter, but on time as promised! Huge thanks to those if have followed or favourited this story, and a special shout out to everyone who has reviewed- even the little comments make writing this story an absolute pleasure.
Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, I wouldn't be worried about Uni fees…
Sakura stared dispassionately at the glibbering chuunin and jounin kneeled before her.
"You came to my hospital, hoping to steal my Intel. You led an assault, set fires, and attempted to blow apart my base with some stupid canon, causing disorder and chaos. And yet, when you are inevitably caught, you plead for mercy? Fools…" Sakura leaned back in her cushioned chair, folding her hands over her chest and crossing her legs. The black suit she wore and the large mahogany desk in front of her added to the image of her power, but it was the stony expression on her face that really consolidated her position as the boss of the Sakura Gang.
The kneeling chuunin, apparently having grown a spine, raised his head. He glared challengingly into the unimpressed green chips of ice masquerading as eyes that were embedded in the face of demon before him.
"You'll pay for this, Haruno! Taking over the hospital like you did, using your information on The Bet to usurp power… justice will come, and revenge is a dish best served cold!"
Sakura's lips twitched upwards into a humourless grin. "It's funny that you think you can scare me… and you're wrong; revenge is best served hot." The pink-haired mob boss lifted her eyes to her minions, three of which were looming behind the prisoners and holding steady the seals that ensured her prisoners compliance.
"Take them away to the cells- and burn their bets," Sakura demanded.
The previously defiant chunin instantly changed his tune. "I-I was just kidding, Sakura! You are a kind, benevolent leader, the hospital obviously is your territory, and we should never have led that foolish assault… Please let us go! We will spread word that you're as kind and merciful as-as… The gentle and angelic Hyuuga Hinata!"
Sakura did nothing to stop her servants from dragging away the interlopers, and remained unaffected by their cries and pleas, their curses and blitherings. And for that matter, mad ravings- who could possibly even claim to be as nice as Hinata, after all? That girl didn't have a cruel bone in her body! The day that Hinata crushed so much as a fly would probably be the end of the world…
"It's too bad I'm not kind or merciful." Sakura tilted a hand up, absentmindedly giving a few puffs to a cigar that seemingly appeared out of nowhere. It was only her in her office now, other than the grumpy Nara organizing some strangely bulging papers in the corner. Sakura gestured towards the Nara, and with a long-suffering sigh, her prisoner set two pieces of paper from her pile on fire.
"Never should have set up a station here," the female Nara mumbled. "Was a good idea at the time, considering Naruto's healing factor. Should have known the 'normal' member of Team 7 was the most bat-shit crazy of all. She'll get her karmic retribution for usurping my betting station though, yes she will…" The Nara tiredly reached for a pen, her eyes momentarily glinting at the pink-haired kunoichi.
Sakura ignored the mutterings of dissent from the Nara, knowing that she would continue to do her job if she knew what was good for her. Everyone here would do their jobs- if they wanted the information she had hoarded for years, they would have to. Who was the most powerful member of Team 7 now! Sasuke was off on some bullshit self-discovery field trip, Naruto was mushy with love, and Kakashi was having an emotional crisis- it was Sakura who had created a following for herself, who had taken control over a sizeable sector of Konoha. Who's laughing now, Ino-pig!
Sakura's inner musings were interrupted by a sudden BANG! from the hallway outside her office. It was immediately followed a series of muffled thumps- then silence. Sakura perked up, a small frown emerging through her mask of stone. What the hell was that?
"Junko, report! What is going on out there?!" the pink-haired mob boss demanded. Silence was the only response. Sakura began to rise from her desk, a trickle of worry leaking into the back of her mind despite her outwardly self-assured attitude. As the Haruno made her way to the door, she was interrupted by it crashing off its hinges towards her.
Somersaulting to the side, Sakura dodged the projectile, then slid to her feet. She made a break for the now door-less entry, fluidly pulling a kunai from her side holster attached to her suit. Preparing to engage the new adversary, Sakura froze in her attack when the interloper came into view.
Tsunade entered the office with a confident stride, head high and gaze focused on her student. Sakura automatically stood to attention, her newfound power not enough to override years of deferring to the woman before her.
"Shishou, what are you doing here?! I thought you were in Hot Spring country taking a vacation!"
Tsunade crossed her arms under her considerable bust, and raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "I was- until I heard that The Bet was about to finish. Do you really think I would miss it? I thought you were supposed to be the smart member of Team 7," Tsunade dragged considering eyes over her student's suit clad form, "but apparently you're the one secretly hungry for a power trip. Which says a lot, considering Naruto and Sasuke both wanted to be Hokage..."
Sakura shifted uneasily under her former sensei's eyes, before wrestling herself under control. "Well, I understand why you're in Konoha, but why are you here? In the hospital?"
Tsunade's eyes narrowed. "A little birdy told me that you had Intel on The Bet." Tsunade ignored Sakura's cries of, "It was Ino-Pig, wasn't it?! That bitch!", and pushed on. "I was surprised at first, because surely my old student would have told me, her gambling loving sensei, if she had information on the biggest bet in all of Konoha's history!"
Sakura wilted under Tsunade's glare. "I'm sorry shishou, it's just that…"
"What!? Spit it out, Sakura!"
"…You're bad luck! If you bet on the same person as me, I would lose The Bet!"
Silence descended between the two kunoichi. Sakura looked to the side as she attempted to hide her reddened face, and Tsunade's expression had gone carefully blank. "I think, Sakura, it would be best if you disbanded the Sakura Gang. You seem to have forgotten that you're not the only one with Intel. If you don't tell me what you know, I'll reveal what you said when you were drunk at the hospital's last summer party…"
Sakura instantly paled.
"Take that, Pinky!" the Nara in the corner cried out. The slug summons that had been hidden on her stack of papers disappeared with a puff, and after receiving a head bob from Tsunade, she scooped her papers into a bag and stormed out of the room. Before she left through the open doorway, she turned back to Sakura's stunned form, and after shifting the bag's handle into the crook of her arm, flipped dual birds at the wanna-be mob boss. Revenge completed, she escaped her temporary prison.
"Mei-chan was always my favourite Nara," Tsunade drawled, breaking Sakura from her motionless stupor.
"…I'll tell you shishou, just don't tell anyone about… THAT."
Tsunade snorted. "Fine. Though honestly, I don't see why you're so embarrassed about what you said when you were drunk- sure, those eyebrows, but-"
"Ah, one of my pieces of Intel actually happened in front of you, shishou!" Sakura interrupted, a twitching smile doing little to hide the deranged look in her eyes. "It was after Naruto came back from her training trip, when you were assigning the new Team 7 a mission…"
Xxx
Kakashi lethargically forced his legs to move, slowly leading his team into the mission office. He absentmindedly waved to Iruka, who was off in the corner drowning under a recent backlash of paperwork. Behind him, Sakura and Naruto were cheerfully bickering, unsubtly ignoring their pale-faced new teammate. Yamato simply looked long-suffering as Sai attempted to converse with him, and glared at his other three team members for abandoning him to the creepily smiling artist.
"Come on Naruto, it had to have been you!" Sakura exclaimed, slyly smiling at her blonde friend. "Who else would have been ballsy enough to prank ANBU? I heard the sticking seals are the best quality anyone has ever seen- they still can't get those pictures down! As someone trained by Jiraiya, only you could have done it!"
Naruto smirked, and humbly replied, "I can neither confirm nor deny…" An overly dreamy look swept across her face, and she turned her gaze to a far off corner of the room. "All I can say is that whoever pulled that prank is clearly an incredible, sexy, mastermind. Why, I was so impressed with that prank, I could kiss them!"
Sakura giggled, and playfully slugged her grinning friend on the shoulder as a repeated thunking echoed in the background. "So humble, Naruto- of course you would be impressed with your own prank!"
Naruto grinned back conspiratorially at the pink-haired kunoichi, but a sudden motion from Yamato ended their conversation. The mokuton wielder pointedly tilted his head in the direction they had been walking, towards the mission dispensary.
Tsunade, for once, was manning the position in the mission office, probably taking a leaf out of the Sandaime's book and using mission assignments as a way to stay connected to her shinobi. Kakashi made his way to her desk, nodding to Shizune, who was once again acting as her assistant.
"Team 7, reporting for duty," Kakashi drawled.
Tsunade shifted her attention from the paper in front of her to glare at the masked shinobi. "About time- you're two hours late! I was getting old waiting, and I was about to give this mission away to the next team that walked in!" Kakashi opened his mouth to make an outlandish excuse, but Naruto beat him to the punch.
"We're here now, Baa-chan!" Naruto exclaimed, squinting her eyes and unleashing her signature Uzumaki grin. The orange clad kunoichi planted her hands on her hips, and stood defiantly before the Hokage. "Besides, you're already old, so it's okay!"
"Brat! Respect you're superiors!"
"Don't you mean elders?"
"You-" Tsunade raised her fist, preparing to strike out at the cheeky blonde, but a quick tug on her arm from Shizune, who gave a pointed look towards the looming stack of paperwork, defused her growing rage. Taking in a heavy breath, then slowly exhaling, she calmed herself. She turned her narrowed eyes back on Team 7.
"Control you're team, Kakashi, or I'll-" Tsunade suddenly paused in her rant, and stared in befuddlement at the slouching silver-haired shinobi. Kakashi felt slightly nervous under her frantic perusal of his form. Was she assessing him for crazy? Was he going to have to do another psych eval?!
"Where's that damn book of Jiraiya's you're always reading?!"
Kakashi froze.
Sakura and Naruto blinked in shock, and whipped their heads to study their sensei. Tsunade was right- there was no book in sight!
Kakashi drooped under the sudden attention from his students and the Hokage. Yamato cheerfully smiled at Tsunade. "Senpai is finally growing out of that old obsession, and has been making headway into becoming a mature adult like I had asked him to be! Just the other day, I even saw him burn a copy- I'm so proud of you, Senpai!" Kakashi twitched under the mokuton wielder's sudden praise, and his hands involuntarily spasmed.
Naruto continued to stare in stunned disbelief, but Sakura had dragged herself out of her shock. She beamed. "Kakashi-sensei, I'm proud of you too!"
Kakashi deflated even further.
"I never would have seen this coming," Tsunade mumbled. "People that get into that series never get out…"
Sai perked to attention, deciding to add his own two cents. "I heard only old, unattractive nobodies read Icha Icha- I'm surprised you stopped reading it, Kakashi-taichou."
Kakashi made no move to defend himself, and instead blankly stared ahead. He had been under so much emotional distress lately that he was no longer capably of giving a shit. This day could not get any worse…
Naruto reddened, eyes narrowing furiously on her male teammate. She opened her mouth, preparing to unleash a heavy rant, but she was interrupted by Tsunade's sudden chuckle. "I do know a lot of old people that read that crap, but trust me, attractive people read that garbage too. Sarutobi-sensei was addicted to porn, back in the day." Tsunade's eyes went glassy as she reminisced.
Sakura blinked again. "You… thought the Sandaime was attractive?"
Tsunade snorted. "Believe it or not, I even used to have a crush on him- I always liked older men. Dan himself was five years older than me."
Sai turned his plastic grin towards Naruto. "So, she-man, considering you always say that you're not like your 'Granny', does that mean you're a 'cougar'? A 'cradle-snatcher'?... Is that why you're always hanging out with the Sandaime's grandson?"
Naruto lit up with unholy rage. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU PALE-ASSED BASTARD!"
Sakura and Yamato lashed out to restrain their enraged blonde teammate. Kakashi ignored their chaos, and stood to the side as he attempted to block out their insanity. If he wasn't careful, he might catch it- science hadn't proven insanity was a disease capable of being spread yet, but he couldn't be too careful!
Eventually, the blonde cooled down, and was released. She shot a last angry glare at her teammate before turning her gaze to a far off corner of the room, her cheeks dusting a light pink.
"For your information Sai, sometimes me and Granny are kinda similar. I like older guys too- they're wayyyy more attractive than little boys like you."
Tsunade snickered. "Sure, gaki. But you don't have to pretend that's what you like to make a point against you're teammate. Kakashi, are you ready for that mission?"
The Hatake in question stared blankly at the Hokage's desk, and at some point throughout their ordeal he had moved himself even farther away from his students. He looked… haunted.
"Kakashi! Take the damn mission!" The Hokage snapped Kakashi from his daze, and after reading the mission parameters, he motioned for his team to follow him out of the mission office.
Sakura, who had been glancing between her blonde teammate and Kakashi, cracked a devious smile, and then leisurely made her way after her sensei. She dragged her dazed orange teammate behind her, the blonde oblivious to her pink-haired teammate's actions as she stared over her shoulder into the mission office, her gaze blank and unfocused.
Yamato attempted to coax Kakashi into some small talk, but the Hatake was unresponsive.
Liking older men…Jumping up to defend the qualities of Icha Icha readers… Never happened, never happened, Kakashi furiously tried to convince himself.
But by now there were enough pieces. The puzzle was forming, heedless of Kakashi's attempts to dismantle it within his mind. You can't ignore the truth forever- but by Kami, he would try.
Xxx
"Holy shit," Tsunade whispered. "You mean…"
Sakura smirked. "That moron has been in love with him for years- and unlike the rest of Konoha, I noticed. I understand why you didn't- it's hard to see if you look too closely."
Tsunade didn't respond for a moment, instead staring sightlessly down at the ground. Eventually she lifted her eyes to meet Sakura's, and threw her arms in the air. "I get it now, but why the hell did it have to be Hatake?"
A/N: From here on out, the chapters look like they will be fairly long… Also, if there's any particular scenes you'd like to happen, or characters you wish would make an appearance, let me know! If I can't fit them into the main storyline, I think I'll have a series of short, deleted scenes/omakes after the epilogue. Please review, and let me know what you've liked so far! Till next time!
