A/N: This comes excruciatingly late, but here it is. I'm not overly happy with it, but waiting any longer to post this would result in it never being posted. Hopefully, there's still some funny elements... After this, I do have a couple Omakes that I will post within the next few days, but otherwise, this is it- the end of Retrospect. Which is kind of a shame, considering I only recently learned how to actually reply to reviews... Blah. If anyone has anyone questions, I will actually be able to respond. Someday, I might come back and give this fic the facelift it deserves on this site, but who knows. If anyone is interested in seeing this fic with basically full edits and a few changes, go on over to archive of our own, where I have it published under Limited_Edge. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favourited, and followed this fic- your the reason this was finished :)
Disclaimer: B*tch please, as if I would own Naruto.
The man walked through the shadows of the woods, absentmindedly listening to the chirping of birds and the murmur of a distance brook. The path through the woods he travelled was well worn, and the peacefully sedate pace of his journey belied the tension in his shoulders.
The cloak across his shoulders, ragged at the ends though still well kept, rustled with the slightest of breezes. The faintest edge of something sweet on the wind carried to his nose, and with a hand shading his eyes, the man looked to the sky.
By the hanging of the sun, he estimated it to be almost noon- he was right on time, then.
With unhurried steps, the man continued down the path, eventually breaking out of the dense forest. Looming in front of him were the impressive gates of one of the most wealthy cities in the world- Konohagakure no Sato.
The man found himself quirking his lips at the sight of the familiar walls, but a faint trace of unease crept up his spine. There were no watchers manning the wall…
The man snorted, and after pushing a long strand of black hair from his eyes, took a second look towards the outside of the village. Though there wasn't anyone manning the outside walls, that did not mean Konoha was undefended. In fact, what with the particular event occurring today, Konoha would actually be consolidating its power as the strongest hidden village.
It wasn't everyday a new Hokage was put in office, after all.
The man smirked at the thought of the new Hokage, and with a confident stride, made his way through the looming gates. Casually, he bit his thumb, and with practiced movements summoned a red-tailed hawk. After giving it a murmured command to scout the village and report back, the bird was off.
The man walked through the streets with unhurried steps. He had finally returned, and was ready to fulfill his second goal.
Naruto had waited long enough.
Xxx
Kakashi happily sighed, and let his head fall to the desk in front of him with a resounding thud. At his side, Tenzo snickered before picking up the last stack of papers, carefully setting them in a nearby bin.
After all this time… Kakashi was finally free!
Honestly, it had taken long enough for Naruto to get ready for the hat. She probably would have been able to take it sooner, but certain… complications had postponed her inauguration. Despite the long wait, it was finally time though.
And now Kakashi never had to so much as look at another sheet of paperwork again!
Tenzo coughed to reclaim Kakashi's attention, a small smile forming across his face.
"Senpai, it's almost time- all that's left is the formal assembly announcement."
Kakashi snorted. "Mah, I won't need to bother calling for an assembly- the whole village has been crowding the streets since this morning. I heard even Shikamaru is already here. Only thing still lazy about that man is his terribly slack attitude to showing up on time…"
Tenzo gave Kakashi a pointed look. "You're one to talk about showing up on time. And I thought Shikamaru was supposed to be in Suna? Wasn't that why you and all those traumatized shinobi made him a foreign diplomat? To keep him out of the village?"
The Hatake sighed, and as he rose from his desk, he stared at the floor with blank eyes. "Temari wanted to see Naruto take the hat- they're a package deal, including that growing brood of theirs…"
"…I heard their kids got permanent 'Beast' eyes- is that true?"
"…I think so. Last I heard, only Gaara can get the older one to stop creating black abysses of doom, other than his parents. Which makes sense- the Kazekage's practically a saint, after all."
Tenzo nodded thoughtfully. After giving the paperwork a final shuffle, Tenzo and Kakashi shared a grin. With lightened hearts, they rose from their desks, and together, made their way from the office.
"Honestly, I respect him," Tenzo continued, casually sidestepping a passing messenger nin that was staggering under an enormous stack of paperwork, "but Shikamaru is terrifying. Thank Kami the Nara are, with the exception of Shikamaru, lazy- I don't think the world could handle more than him and his brood..." Tenzo took a moment to shudder at the thought. "We're just lucky that he's with Temari. Otherwise, we might have another psychopath trying to take over the world on our hands."
Kakashi hummed noncommittally. "I wouldn't go that far- everyone knows he's not near as bad as he could be. Hell, Raiya adores him!"
"Yeah, but Raiya has the self-preservation instincts of a lemming- that's not saying much."
"…I would say you were lying, but I once saw her flying a kite hooked to a metal key during a storm so that she could get struck by lightning- apparently, she wanted 'zappy powers'… Her father nearly had a conniption when he found out." Tenzo let out an amused chuckle, and Kakashi smirked as he looped an arm around his kohai's shoulders. "At least once this is all over, Shikamaru will be back in Suna, prowling the sand dunes with his creepy shadows, and the wonderful new Hokage will be taking care of all my old time consuming paperwork. We'll have all the time in the world to test out the sixth book!"
Tenzo's face went beet red, but Kakashi wasn't too worried. A hint of a smile had edged onto the brown-haired man's face, and all Kakashi had received for his comment was a light hip check.
Kakashi had matured like Tenzo had always asked him to… In a manner of speaking.
Regardless, this day was going to be great- Kakashi could feel it!
Xxx
Ino laughed as she jumped onto Shino's back. "Onwards, noble steed! Good fortune awaits!"
"As you wish, m'lady," Shino responded in absolute deadpan. Carefully shifting the Yamanaka on his back, Shino weaved his way through the crowded street that they had exited upon. The Yamanaka's tanned hands wound lazily around his neck as she leaned in closer to whisper in his ear.
"So, what do you thinks going to go wrong?"
Shino hummed in question, and absentmindedly dodged a frantic Konohamaru who raced ahead with a suspicious bucket in his hands. Chasing after him was a furious Anko, dragging her Minion artist along for the ride. Both were covered in splotchy blue paint, though Sai was considerably less enraged by this fact. Shino was treated to the sight of Anko whispering some fervent command in the pale man's ear, and Sai somehow managing to turn even whiter. Without a word, Sai raced away, and Anko peeled off in the opposite direction.
Whatever Anko was up to, it couldn't be good…
Manicured fingers snapped in front of Shino's face, reclaiming his attention.
"Come on, everyone knows that anything involving Naruto goes wonky. Remember five years ago?" Ino drawled. "No one expected a nearly extinct group of exorcists to show up, or that weird portal to spill out all those funky alternate dimension guys. And four years ago, with the Summoning Wars? Or three years ago, with the crazy kidnappers trying to "restore 'The Orange' to his former glory through the sacred blood"? Don't even get me started on the weird ancient curse thing five months ago that made everyone talk in rhymes. Something is going to happen- and considering it's Naruto's inauguration, it'll probably be the worst yet."
Shino mused on Ino's predictions as he turned the corner of the street. By now, it was difficult to move through the crowd because it was so congested. And they were still a good kilometer from the podium!
"Ino, I don't think we'll have much to worry about- why? Because Naruto will handle any problems as she always has- with a steadfast hand, courage in the face of terrible peril… and an overabundance of orange and ramen."
Ino indelicately snorted at his comment, all the while gently fiddling with his black coat's lapels.
"I guess I'm just worried- what if Ikkaku gets kidnapped again, or runs off after a squirrel or something? Iruka-sensei's rage-sprees are terrifying…"
Shino shivered. "…I'm sure it will be fine, Ino. Why? Considering he's at the hospital in the capable hands of his godmother, there's no way he could be kidnapped, or run off like some long-lost princess to play with the woodland creatures. On top of that, Ren would beat up anyone that even tried to pat him on the head- that wonderful little terror is almost as bad as Shikaro sometimes."
The Yamanaka clinging to Shino's back was still tense, and the Aburame sighed. He gave Ino's legs a gentle squeeze and tilted his head back to shoot her a small smile. "We only have to last through the ceremony, Ino. Nothing's going to happen in just two hours. Besides, after this is all done, we have that exploration to Frost to enjoy- I'm sure we can find those secret mountain hot springs this time."
Ino hummed, her lips quirking slightly and back losing some of its previous tension. Before she could respond, she was slightly distracted by a cloaked figure that strode across her field of vision, then out of sight as it turned down a nearby alley.
The blonde dazedly blinked. For a second there, she could have sworn…
Nah… It couldn't be!
Xxx
"Yosh! And What Do We Do If Any Bad Men Come?"
"Kick 'Em In The Balls!"
"Exactly, Ren! And What Do We Do If Ikkaku Gets Distracted By A Butterfly And Goes Wondering Off?"
"Knock Out The Butterfly, And Smack'm Till He Stops Being Weird!"
Lee's eyes teared up, and a wide smile stretched across his cheeks. The glow of the hospitals lights caught the pearly shine of his head, and it twinkled almost as much as his teeth.
"Ren!"
"Daddy!"
"REN!"
"DADDY!"
With an enthusiastic pounce Lee scooped up his giggling daughter, gently squeezing her as he spun her in circles. An epic sunset swirled into being around them, complete with a rainbow and terrifying sparkles, though they seemed oblivious to this fact. After he had finished spinning her, Lee carefully set Ren back down to the ground, giving her black hair a quick mussle. She fired a grin back at him, her big green eyes twinkling.
In near sync, the Youthful! duo turned to the third occupant of the hospital waiting room with beaming grins, Ren just behind her father as she copied his movements. A slightly disturbed face stared back, and with a gentle rub at his purple eyes, the sandy-haired child sitting on one of the beds at the side of the room quietly hopped to his feet.
"…can we go yet?" the young boy mumbled, his tanned face pulling into a sad, doe-like expression. "…we've been waiting for hours."
Ren instantly gasped as the beginnings of the dreaded 'puppy dog eyes' began to form on the small boy. "Ikkaku, We Must Wait For Mama! She Has To Put Some Brains Back In Uncle Kiba 'Cause He Mentioned Uncle 'Ruka to Auntie Hinata! P-Please Don't Cry!"
Ikkaku wrinkled his nose, and gently crossed his arms, slowly shrinking into himself. "…wasn't gonna cry… I just wanted to go outside and look at the birds..."
Lee beamed at the downtrodden child. "Soon, Ikkaku! But First, My Iron Willed Blossom Must Aid Our Youthful Comrade-" Lee's speech was cut off as the door of the room banged opened. A frazzled, pink-haired woman peered inside, instantly smiling at the three occupants.
With a whoop, Ren and Lee raced towards Sakura, swamping her in an excited hug. Ren climbed up her father's back, and leapt from his shoulders to loop around her mother's neck. Sakura laughed at them both, giving a quick peck to Lee's cheek while shifting Ren onto her hip, away from the blood stains that spotted the right side of her doctor's coat.
Ikkaku eyed the red stains with distrust. Even more proof that his godmother was actually a crazy serial killer in disguise…
Sakura beamed at the young boy, ignorant (or uncaring) of his current thoughts.
"I'm sorry Ikkaku, but there's been a change of plans," Sakura said. "Some people got a little too excited with their celebrations, and now I have to do detoxes for over half of the Hyuuga… Will you be okay going to the ceremony with just Lee and Ren?"
The purple-eyed boy hummed, before gently nodding. Sakura beamed at his easy acceptance. "Good!" Sakura turned a playful glare to the bald man at her side. "You keep a good eye on him, you hear? I don't want you and Ren getting side-tracked again because you're visiting grandpa Gai or having one of your competitions…"
Lee saluted, with Ren following his lead a moment after. "Yosh! We Will Not Fail You, Sakura! If We Do…"
Ren beamed at her mother. "We'll Wash The Dishes For A Week!"
Sakura smiled at the enthusiastic duo, and gave Ren's hair a light comb through with her hand before setting her to the ground. Lee scooped up the pink-haired woman in a spinning hug, giving her face a sprinkling of kisses, both of them smiling.
Ikkaku cringed at the sight. Adults were weird…
Sakura gently slugged Lee on the arm, and with a last spin, he set her to the ground. Sakura carefully smoothed her stained coat, before sending a last smile to the sandy-haired boy.
"You be good, Ikkaku- your mom would be very upset if you got kidnapped again. No more following random animals!"
Ikkaku shrunk into his red jacket, long bangs falling forward to shade his eyes as his head tipped to the floor.
Sakura snorted at the innocent and overwhelmingly adorable image he presented, before giving a last wave to her husband and daughter and departing the room.
"Yosh! We Must Go Watch The Ceremonies!" Lee exclaimed. Ren's eyes grew determined, and she clenched her fists.
"Yes! And If We Don't Cheer The Loudest…" She began.
"We Will Walk Around Konoha On Our Hands!" The excited duo cheered together, and engaged in a spontaneous race out the door. Lee was going much slower than he probably could have, but he didn't seem to mind- he was too busy smiling at the determined little girl at his side.
Ikkaku blinked after the duo, then carefully made his way out of the room. The green clad daughter and father were racing down the hallway, and almost out of sight. Ikkaku made to follow them, and easily kept pace with them all the way till they exited the hospital, when a sudden glint caught his attention from the corner of his eye…
Purple eyes widened with quiet glee. With careful but hurried steps, Ikkaku raced after the swooping hawk, agilely scurrying after the low soaring bird.
Lee and Ren continued on, too caught up in their challenge to remember to keep track of their companion.
Xxx
Kakashi sighed contentedly from his position on top of the podium, surveying the enormous crowd that had gathered below. It was finally time…
At his side, a beautiful blonde woman nervously fidgeted, anxiously fiddling with the hiate-ate around her neck that was partially obscured by her shoulder length golden hair. The otherwise impressive cut of her figure, which was clothed in an imposing white cloak decorated with flames, was belied by her frantic perusal of the crowd.
"Mah, mah, Naruto, I'm sure everything's fine- it's alright for you to take one day 'off', so to speak. You are about to become Hokage, after all."
Enraged blue eyes pinned Kakashi in place. "That's a load of crap, and you know it! They're all destruction magnets- something's going to go wrong. Oh Kami, Raiya was hanging around Shikaro- knowing her, she'll find a way to convince him to try and enslave the village again! She has no self-preservation instincts either- just two weeks ago, she smuggled herself onto a merchant cart heading towards Mist, because she wanted to 'wrestle with a shark'… Don't even get me started on 'Kaku! He's the spaciest kid I've ever met, and he's got the most 'powerful weapon in the world' at his disposal! He's gonna get kidnapped again, and, and-"
Kakashi unceremoniously clapped a hand over her mouth, silencing the panicking blonde. The silver-haired man innocently smiled.
"Look on the bright side- with Iruka watching out for Kenji, one out of three will definitely be good! On top of that, Sakura will be keeping an eye on Ikkaku, and Raiya is being held hostage by Shikamaru. No one's going to mess with them."
Naruto's breathing slowly evened, and after a moment, Kakashi removed his hand from her mouth. The blonde quirked an embarrassed smile. "Sorry about that- it's just…"
"I get it, Naruto. But remember, today is your day- it's time for your final dream to come true."
Naruto beamed, and mustered up a wealth of confidence that she had been lacking before. "You're right, dattebayo!" Naruto turned her head towards the cheering crowd, and after taking in a shaky breath, walked towards the edge of the podium. The volume of the crowd instantly ratcheted up a level at her appearance.
Kakashi quietly smiled, and strode up the podium to stand beside the blonde. He gave a last wave to Tenzo, who was beaming up at them from the front of the crowd, and then applied a stream of chakra to his throat. In his full ceremonial robes, Kakashi was the image of power, and with sweeping arms, he acknowledged the people below.
"Konoha! This has been years in the making, but the time has finally arrived… The time to announce the new Hokage!"
Xxx
Gaara smiled towards Naruto from his position above the crowd- as the visiting Kazekage, he and his chosen entourage had received a prime viewing spot. Situated to the left of the podium in a raised stand slightly lower than the Hokage's, he was able to easily see the white cloaked woman he loved…
Though that love had tempered in recent years, what with certain… developments. Gaara wasn't a home wrecker. Besides, ever since that fateful day nearly seven years ago, Gaara couldn't help but be intimidated by the merest glimpse of the colour orange. Those interdimensional portals had revealed more… Naruto-ness than he could handle for a lifetime.
No, Gaara was content to be her friend. It helped as well that he always had his charitable organizations to distract himself with…
A sudden darkness swallowed Gaara, immersing him in impenetrable shadows. Gaara blinked slightly at the sudden loss of vision, before letting out a lightly amused sigh.
…Along with his niece, nephew, and godchild. The combined forces of which were nearly too much to handle at times.
"Shikaro, stop letting Raiya pester you into making shadows- this is an important day for your Auntie." Gaara reprimanded.
After a moment, the shadows receded, revealing a brown haired boy staring up at Gaara with terrifyingly blank eyes. Gaara watched as the last strips of the shadows lingered at his feet, and then finally crept back to their confines in the corners of the viewing station.
A girl with a mess of dark red hair suddenly attached like a particularly clingy limpet to Gaara's leg. She pouted, and wrinkled her nose at the Kazekage. "But Gaara-ji, we were just playing- it's so borriiiingggg! Kaka-baka won't stop talking, and papa said I couldn't set any more fires… One little shadow won't hurt!"
Gaara's eyes remained unimpressed, and unlike her brother, Raiya was unable to shift her brown eyed gaze into the dreaded 'puppy dog eyes'. After a moment, she gave up, and stomped away from Gaara to sit between Shikamaru and Temari, who were seated across from Gaara. Shikamaru carefully scooped the girl up into his arms, shifting her so that she could see the podium above. With fidgeting hands, she twirled a strand of the Nara's long, loose hair between her tanned fingers, heedless of his amused gaze.
"Kid, I know it's boring, but you know how important this is. It'll last another hour at most- you can hold out till then, can't you?" Temari asked Raiya, carefully bouncing the small child sleeping within her arms.
Raiya buried her face within Shikamaru's coat, but managed to nod. "Can… can you at least make some shadow puppets?" she mumbled. In answer, Shikamaru smiled and snapped the fingers of his right hand. Raiya giggled as small animals made of shadow formed from his fingers and slid down to twine across the surface of her arms.
Meanwhile, Shikaro had crept up beside Gaara. He gently pulled on the red-haired man's pant leg. The small boy's blank gaze shifted as he shyly smiled up at the red-haired man, the young Nara's previously frightening demeanour becoming akin to something more childlike.
Gaara scooped up Shikaro, and snuggled together, the uncle and nephew watched above as the new Hokage was coronated.
A hawk screeched in the distance- but over the roar of the crowd, it went unheard, unnoticed…
Warning unheeded.
Xxx
Uchiha Sasuke, the last of his clan, bearer of the Rinnegan and Mangekyou Sharingan, scourge of the shinobi nations, most powerful man in the world, obsession of fangirls everywhere-
"P-please don't cry! T-Tema can stay with you for the rest of the day, and I'm sure you didn't mean to steal him, oh merciful kami don't start sniffling-"
…had met his match. Which surprisingly came in the form of an adorable three and a half year old with a red-tailed hawk perched upon his head.
"…r-really? S-so you're not angry?"
"No! Of course not!"
"…b-but you said I was a bird-thief, and should be ashamed of kidnapping other peoples summons…" The red-tailed hawk perched on the boy's head glared back at Sasuke and let out an indignant skrawk. Sasuke swallowed nervously before meeting the purple eyes in front of him that were so… 'powerful', that they made the rinnegan seem like a joke.
"I- well, that was before I realized that Tema wanted to be with you! How could I be angry at someone who just likes birds? My brother did too, and I'm sure he would be very disappointed in me if I didn't let you… 'play' with Tema."
The child hastily wiped away the last of his budding tears, and shot a shaky smile back towards Sasuke. "…thank you, mister! But please, let me know if there's anything I can do! I didn't mean to make you worry about Tema…"
Sasuke heaved a sigh of relief- crisis averted. Pulling back the hood of his cloak to rub at his throbbing temples, the Uchiha chanced a glance towards the sky. He still had time…
Now that he was no longer on the verge of a complete and total meltdown, Sasuke took a long look at the young boy that he had found holding onto his hawk and had accused of thievery.
In hindsight, he should have known from the start that the boy was innocent. Shoulder length sandy hair, enormous purple eyes, and hunched in an oversized red and brown jacket, he presented the image of adorableness and innocence. On top of that were the animals- birds of all varieties had surrounded the boy, occasionally preening him, while a few dogs and cats looped happily around his ankles. Tema had clearly just been another victim of sheer cuteness, not thievery.
Something about the child felt kind of familiar though… It was something about the face, but Sasuke couldn't quite put his finger on it.
"Uh, kid… What's your name?"
Taking a break from stroking Tema's puffed up chest, the boy looked up at Sasuke with long lashed eyes. "…o-oh, um, dad says not to talk to strangers, but if you're Tema's owner, you must be okay… I'm-" the boy's words dropped off to a nearly unintelligible whisper, but Sasuke managed to catch the end of it. Though he was quiet and had a bit of a nervous stutter, the boy was strangely well spoken for his age, other than that last murmuring of his name, of course. Sasuke didn't know him well, but he could already spot that the kid was smart. Geniuses had a manner about them, of which Sasuke was very familiar.
"Ikkaku… That's a name you don't hear very often." And gave absolutely no indication on how he was able to enslave a bunch of animals to his freakishly adorable will. "Don't you have any pets of your own that you could play with?"
Ikkaku turned sad eyes down at the ground. "…mom and dad say if I got one, we would eventually have two… then three… then three dozen. I keep asking if we can, though. After all… maybe next time, they'll say yes!" The small smile of the boy made the breath in Sasuke's chest catch. The love of birds, the familiarity and uncanny intelligence, the weirdly pretty features, that line…
…Itachi?!
Sasuke blinked, then gave a light shake of his head. The boy stared back with worried eyes, and despite the pain of the similarity… Sasuke smiled, before giving a sigh.
"You know what, Ikkaku, there is something you can do for me- I haven't been around Konoha in a while. Would you mind showing me around? Just until the Hokage ceremony is almost done."
The young boy furiously nodded his head, though his determined gaze was ruined slightly by his puffed cheeks and the bird on his head. The kid was just too cute for his own good…
As Sasuke was led around the village that had changed from what he once knew, he found himself happier than he had been in a long time. Later, he would achieve his final goal. But right now…
"And that's Kaiza's Pet World! It's the best place ever! A-and over there is where the park used to be before Raiya tried to set up a chicken fighting ri… uh, that's actually not important. Oh! And over there is Michiko's! He has the best dango, you've got to try some- come on!"
…He could stand to spend a little time with a kid that reminded him of his brother. And, based on the kids lightning fast reflex's in dealing with a falling pot that almost landed on one of the dog's heads…
Well, maybe it was time Sasuke had an apprentice of his own while he settled down to build a family.
Xxx
Ino smiled up at the podium, gently fiddling with a strand of Shino's hair as the new Hokage raised her hand to silence the crowd. It was amazing to see- with that single gesture, the crowd instantly quieted. They respected and loved their new leader, just as Naruto had always deserved.
"I pledge my life to Konoha- to every citizen standing here to today, and every citizen who will walk these streets in the coming years. I pledge-" Naruto carried on.
In her white coat, and with that hat capping her golden hair, Naruto was the center of everyone's attention. But even Naruto's incredible presence couldn't keep Ino's eyes from wandering- she still knew Naruto as the dweeb that could eat forty-two bowls of ramen, loved orange more than what should be considered possible, and had had a panic attack in front of Ino when talking about her true love. It made it somewhat difficult to be too in awe of her.
As such, Ino let her gaze wander as Naruto continued to speak. There was Kakashi, proudly watching his student take over in his place. And there was Tsunade, trying not to cry! A flash of green- Lee raced by, looking somewhat panicked with Ren riding on his shoulders- he must have done something to piss off forehead…
And over there…
Ino blinked. Then blinked again. She brought her left arm up from its position slung down across Shino's chest to rub her hand against her eyes, but the terrible image before her refused to fade. It- it couldn't be… But oh Kami, it was!
Ino's mouth dropped at the sight of Uchiha Sasuke smirking up at Naruto from a nearby roof, a strange red and brown blob holding his outreached hand. Ino gave a spastic tug at Shino's hair.
"Shino!" she loudly whispered. "To your left, on the post office roof!" Shino turned his head in the direction indicated… And instantly froze.
"I think we just found what will go wrong today. Why? Because Uchiha Sasuke is smiling like a homewrecker."
And what an ominous foretelling of doom that was.
Xxx
"…it is with pride that I formally declare my resignation, and pass the torch to someone who embodies the will of fire. She has burned brighter than any other, and there is no one more deserving of this honour than her. And so, I now present to you, the Nanadaime Hokage- Umino Naruto!"
A tidal wave of cheers dominated the atmosphere as Naruto beamed from beneath the brim of her new hat. The citizens of Konoha howled there approval, along with visitors from numerous other lands. Naruto opened her mouth, preparing to recommence her speech as the crowd's volume tapered off. An indignant cry stopped her before she could.
"UMINO NARUTO?!"
Heads furiously turned in the direction of the man who had dared to interrupt their leader's acceptance speech. And there he was- a quick shunshin had deposited him in front of Naruto, in clear sight on the rail-less podium. The strange lump attached to his leg was ignored in favour of the man himself.
"Holy shit, it's the Uchiha!"
Countless exclamations rose up as realization of who he was dawned, but Sasuke was heedless of the cries below him- he was entirely focused on the scowling woman in front of him, for once unattractive as he gawked intelligibly at the sight of her.
"Bastard! This is the first time I've seen you in, like, eight years- and this is how you say hello? By crashing my inauguration!?" Naruto rolled up her sleeves, hands fisting as anger lit within her eyes.
"Naruto! Don't let him stop you from finishing your speech! This is your moment, not his! Let the guards clear him out!" a voice called from below.
Naruto instantly calmed down at the sound of the individual's voice. She sheepishly smiled at whoever had called up to her, and yelled back, "Right!" A mature cast once again overtook her features. With a wave of her hand, six ANBU emerged in front of her, between Sasuke and herself.
"I'll talk with you later, bastard- try and get your panties out of whatever twist they're in before we do."
Before the ANBU could reach him to be dragged away, Sasuke came to his senses. He furiously pointed at Kakashi. "You!"
"Me?" was the bemused response.
"Yes, you! I'll go quietly- for now- but you need to fix your mistake first!"
Naruto, Kakashi, the ANBU, and even the crowd stared back at Sasuke in confusion.
Sasuke's cheeks reddened. "Come on! It's obvious! You misspoke! How can you all just stand around when he's messing up something as simple as his own student's last name? Sure, it won't be Uzumaki forever (it'll be Uchiha)… But is sure as hell is Uzumaki now!"
Silence descended. Sasuke awkwardly shifted under the atmosphere, and the blob attached to his leg buried closer, tangling under his cloak. Naruto's eyes were wide with dawning understanding.
"Uh, Sasuke, you couldn't possibly…" Kakashi murmured.
"What? Couldn't possibly what?!"
And that's when the laughter started.
"Holy shit, he thought Naruto was single!" Tsunade cried. "Who's the sucker now!" Tsunade's minions, who were lifting her on a palanquin and feeding her grapes, fawned at her joke.
"Hah! He thought the boss would go for him?" Konohamaru exclaimed from within the crowd, then frantically changed location as a violent, paint splattered Anko furiously declared "YOU!", pushing through the crowd to find him.
Ino teetered on Shino's back with the force of her guffaws. "Come on, Sasuke! You had to have heard that The Bet finished! How could you not know?"
Laughter faded to curiosity as everyone gathered for the ceremony stared at Sasuke, wondering the same thing- how had he missed it?
Sasuke blinked. "What bet?"
No one spoke. Then, a single sound pierced the stupefied quiet- Kakashi face palming with a desolate crack!
"So much for you being my smartest student…" the ex-Hokage mumbled. His hand scraped down his face, and he turned beseeching eyes upon his hunched student. "Seriously- there were so many clues! I once dropped you off inside the cabbage stand betting station, the Sandaime used to give you relationship advice, and there was literally a worldwide shipping frenzy, of which one team supported you! For Kami's sake, Sakura ranted to you on a daily basis how she would win The Bet because she thought Naruto was in love with me!"
Sasuke awkwardly shifted. "I… I think I was distracted by a tomato stand across the street for the first, I though the Sandaime was giving me his blessing for the second, and I thought all those well-wishers were just more Uchiha fanboys and fangirls- they acted about the same. As for Sakura…" Sasuke reddened, and looked down at the ground. "I… I tended to tune her out. I just hn'ed whenever she seemed like she wasn't talking.
"But that doesn't matter!" Sasuke exclaimed, throwing off the audience with the vigour in his words. He turned towards Naruto, who continued to gape at him. "Naruto- I know that I took a long time to get here, but I'm finally back. You don't have to settle for second place anymore. Divorce is always an option."
Naruto froze. A trace of red began to leak into her irises. "You…"
"IF WE DON'T GET TO BE HOME WRECKERS, NEITHER DO YOU!" Three furious voices exclaimed in synch. A wave of sand descended towards Sasuke, along with a shower of paint bombs and a particularly feral Hyuuga clan head.
Before Sasuke could retaliate, a sea of Naruto's clones prevented the fight. They blocked the sand, intercepted the paint bombs, and gently corralled the blushing Hinata away from the podium. Each shot a particularly scathing glare at Sasuke, then less angry looks towards the three aggressors. Gaara, Konohamaru, and Hinata sheepishly returned to their previous locations.
Naruto turned deadly eyes upon Sasuke, who nervously shifted the bundle attached to his leg under the force of her gaze.
"Divorce?"
Sasuke swallowed. "But-"
"But nothing, Sasuke," a new voice interrupted.
Sasuke whipped his head down towards the voice, whereupon the crowd parted to reveal the man that had crushed his final goal. Umino Iruka stared with hard eyes upon the Uchiha, then with a quick shunshin, deposited himself on the podium. Against Sasuke's wishes, he felt himself shrink slightly under the force of the disapproving academy sensei stare.
"Iruka-sensei, what-" Sasuke began, but then stopped as his eyes caught on the bundle held within Iruka's arms.
Suddenly, Sasuke knew defeat.
The small baby with brown hair stared back, blue eyes that were oh-so-familiar wide and beseeching.
Naruto slipped in beside Iruka, and carefully took the baby, which drooled from its overwhelming smile, from Iruka's arms. The academy sensei slipped his arm around his wife's waist as she tenderly held the baby, while staring at Sasuke with hard eyes.
"This is Kenji- my son," Naruto declared.
Sasuke's gaze fell to the ground once again. Maybe, if there hadn't been a child, he would have pressed…
But no. Sasuke wasn't in the business of ruining families.
To think, Sasuke had only missed his window by this much… But all the better that there was only one child. Any more would be increasingly brutal blows to his pride. They would be proof that Sasuke had missed the obvious for even longer, after all.
The Uchiha sighed, then reluctantly returned his gaze to Naruto. "…Fine, dobe. I- I wish you the best."
Naruto slightly smiled. "Thanks, teme." Her nose wrinkled. "Now stop interrupting my inauguration!"
"Ah- yes!" Sasuke coughed. He glanced at the increasingly impatient crowd surrounding him, and cut to the chase. "One last thing- while I was waiting for the ceremony, I ran into a child that I think would make a good apprentice one day. His name… is Ikkaku."
With a flourish, Sasuke slid aside his cloak to reveal the young boy lightly gripping his pant leg. Naruto blinked at the sight, before her and Iruka's faces pinched off into long suffering expressions.
"Ikkaku!" Iruka exclaimed. "Why aren't you with aunty Sakura!"
The boy shifted, then turned big purple eyes upon the academy sensei. "…sorry, dad… there was this bird, and Mr. Uchiha needed a tour of the town…"
Wait… DAD?!
Ikkaku detached himself from Sasuke's leg and slowly trod his way over to his disapproving parents. Naruto reached out a hand to smooth his hair back, while Iruka scooped him up into his arms. Kenji leaned across his mother's shoulder to boop his brother on the nose with a pudgy fist.
Sasuke stared blankly at the family that was clustered together. Iruka and Naruto shared a commiserating smile, and the blonde lightly pecked the man on the cheek. It was sickeningly sweet.
"At least there's always Sakura," Sasuke mumbled. She was, after all, his number one fangirl.
"DADDY! There's Ikkaku!" A child's voice cried, interrupting Sasuke's wayward thoughts.
A green blur whipped onto the stage, and as it stopped, it revealed a bald man carrying a small, black haired girl on his shoulders. "Yes, Ren! For Finding Him, We Will Only Have To Wash The Dishes For A Week, Not Skip Rope Six Hundred Times!"
"Daddy!"
"Ren!"
"DADDY"
"REN!"
A terrifying sunset emerged, and Sasuke cringed away from the Youth! as the man swung the child down from his shoulders into an spinning hug. What kind of psychotic moron had let Lee reproduce?!
"Wait, you lost Ikkaku?!" A voice exclaimed. Sasuke turned his head, but the woman, clad in a blood-spattered doctor's coat, had already made her way to the floor right below the podium.
The pink hair that capped her head sent a wave of dawning dread rushing though Sasuke's veins.
"Ah! I Am Sorry My Youthful Blossom! In Return, Ren And I-"
"Will Wash The Dishes For Two Weeks!" The little girl finished, her bright green eyes twinkling.
Contrary to his obliviousness from before, Sasuke wasn't a complete idiot. Two and two joined together to create green.
"THAT'S IT- NOTHING MAKES SENSE ANYMORE!" Sasuke exclaimed. He turned from the sights before him- Sakura giving Lee an exasperated smile, Naruto lovingly staring at Iruka, the boy he considered similar to Itachi giving him a small, shy wave…
The mountains in Kumo would probably be nice this time of year.
Naruto watched Sasuke depart with slightly worried eyes. "Man, I never realized that the teme had some sort of crush on me- do you think he'll be okay?"
Iruka snorted. "If the shippers can move on, so can he. Now- weren't you getting inaugurated?"
Naruto beamed, and still holding Kenji, walked back towards Kakashi. "Lets keep this show rolling, dattebayo!"
"Me too, mama!" A voice cried. A red-headed blur, initially carried by a shadow, raced from the Kazekage's elevated viewing station across rooftops and railings to end up at Naruto's side. Iruka rolled his eyes, and scooped the laughing girl up into his free arm.
In his hold, Raiya and Ikkaku took a moment to stick their tongues out at each other, then turned to beam at their amused mother. Together, the entire Umino family made their way to the front of the podium. The audience roared, and Naruto grinned first at Iruka, and then at what was now her village.
From the crowd, Ino smiled. She gave a light tug on Shino's hair.
"Hm?" the Aburame asked.
"How much do you think Sasuke is going to flip when he finds out there's also Raiya?"
Shino laughed. "Knowing him, it'll be another blow to his manly pride. But also knowing his obliviousness… I think he won't find out until Naruto somehow ropes him into becoming her jounin-sensei."
As the Hokage's hat descended upon Naruto's head, Ino grinned. "Wanna bet?"
