They get married.
It's only partially accidental.
In Rodan's defence, the TARDIS records didn't say that this planet had laws against lone men. In Leela's defence, today she does not look very much like a woman.
The guards want to know if they are wed. They share a brief, panicked look, and then Rodan says, "Yes."
Fortunately, that is it – the guards apologize, release them, and they can carry on exploring a city that is built from fabrics. But that night, when they have returned to their TARDIS wreathed in flowers (it is the feast of one of their gods, and it is considered polite to wear his tokens), with K-9 by their side and a flower crown of his own, Leela frowns and brings the subject up again. "You told him we are married."
"I did," Rodan says, confused. She begins to fiddle with the control unit one more time in the vain hope that it might accomplish something.
"Rodan," Leela says, in the tone of voice that means she is in no mood to be brushed off.
Blinking, Rodan turns away from the console. "Yes."
Leela has her arms crossed and is giving her a steady, slightly bemused look. "You lied."
"What did you want me to say?" Rodan asks, one hand tight on the console. She has already run into her partner's peculiar idea of truth and has no wish to repeat the experience.
Leela hisses out a breath. "I am a woman. You could have told him that."
Rodan clenches her teeth because she does not know what else to do. "Some planets have different roles for males and females," she says slowly, painstakingly. This is a concept just as strange to her as it must be to Leela.
"Why?"
Rodan shakes her head. "I don't know."
Leela frowns and scuffs a foot against the floor. "So – males alone are not allowed. But females together are not allowed either?"
"Not – not together like we are," Rodan says quietly. "Some – species, I think, have an ingrained hatred for partners of the same gender – I really do not know."
Her partner looks more confused than ever. "But why?"
Rodan rubs the back of her neck. "I – Leela, I don't know. We don't have –" she flails for a moment, sputtering, "have sexism on Gallifrey, it's – I don't understand it myself."
"It is this thing where if we told the truth, we would be in trouble," Leela says slowly.
Rodan considers correcting her, and then gives it all up as a bad job. "Yes."
Leela looks at her hopefully. "Then it would be – sens-i-ble for us to get married."
The words almost don't make sense. "Leela – marriage is –"
"When two people love and care for each other very much, yes I know," Leela rattles off. "So?"
Rodan immediately squashes the impulse to ask Leela why the Doctor had felt the need to explain this to her. "Not on Gallifrey."
Leela blinks. "Oh."
The console room is silent, except for the soft noises of a TARDIS in flight, and the quiet whirring of K-9 as he charges. Eventually Leela says, "What do your people have?"
There are words, but only in Gallifreyan and many of them contain telepathic concepts. She has to try regardless, because Leela doesn't know Gallifreyan, and the telepathy is too complex for her mind. "We have marriages," she starts, fumbling for an explanation. "But they are between important people. For politics."
Leela wrinkles her nose. It is a very Leela action. "I dislike politics."
"I know," Rodan says with a hint of a smile. "And – they are for the purpose of politics. The – the whole point is allegiances."
Leela stares at her, confused. "All-ege-in-ce? What is this?"
Rodan sighs. "Friendships. That will hold, even when you disagree."
"And you need a marriage for this?"
It astounds Rodan on a regular basis that Leela has lived on Gallifrey for years and maintained her innocence. "Gallifreyans – Time Lords especially – find politics more important than other people."
"Oh," Leela says, disgusted.
Rodan holds back the rest of her immediate reactions. "Yes. So – I hope you understand – I do not wish to get married."
Leela sighs. "Is there a thing that your people do when they are in love?"
Rodan blinks, astonished that it has taken her this long to understand what her partner is thinking. "Yes," she says quietly, holding back a surge of excitement, "yes there is."
Grinning, Leela nods. "Then will you do this thing with me?"
Rodan can do nothing but smile in return. "Yes. Of course."
After that, the wedding itself is anticlimactic, although it has its own fair share of catastrophes.
It takes place on Earth, because that was the first humanoid planet they found, on a boat, in a place and time where the people do not care about genders.
The very first thing that goes wrong is that Leela takes offence at the officiant. She dislikes his outfit, his position, and his accent, and makes all of this clear from the beginning. Rodan sighs and tries to do damage control. Fortunately the officiant is understanding, and tells Rodan privately that "your fiancée isn't the worst atheist I've seen". She doesn't bother to correct his assumptions and takes Leela aside for a brief word.
The second thing is that there is a minor alien invasion. Minor, meaning that there are no deaths; alien, meaning that the sentient gasbags are certainly not from Earth or from any planet Rodan has ever seen. They call themselves by a name even Rodan can't pronounce, so Leela dubs them balloons. It fits, well enough, and after a tense period of negotiations, they agree to remain near the boat until someone is able to go fix their crashed ship.
The following three things happen in quick succession: the officiant tries to ask Leela what their vows will be, K-9 is seen by him, and the Doctor's TARDIS surprises everyone by squashing a deck chair.
It's the beige Doctor, and he's accompanied by two females who are introduced as Tegan and Nyssa. He apologizes for missing the ceremony, for hitting the deck chair, and for bringing uninvited guests before noticing the shocked officiant and trying to introduce himself. Tegan and Nyssa follow him, standing a shade too near to each other for any but close friendship.
In the time it takes for the Doctor to sort things out with the officiant, Rodan manages to explain the concept of vows to Leela. Leela refuses to say anything about her tribe's ceremonies, which would worry Rodan under normal circumstances. Now, however, she has the feeling of flinging herself off a cliff once more, into something new and exciting, and she cannot bring herself to care.
The ceremony only gets underway because Tegan pulls the Doctor into a chair, cutting off his investigation into the balloons. Somehow the officiant manages to act normally, despite the Doctor whispering under his breath at Nyssa.
And then it is time for their vows, and Rodan is abruptly more nervous than she has ever been.
"Leela of the Sevateem," she says, taking care to speak in English. This is important, that she be able to say this both in her own language and the language of her partner. "I love you. I'm not entirely sure what that means," Leela smiles at that, and it makes her relax, just slightly, "but whatever it means, I agree. With every ounce of both my hearts, I am yours. In my mind, you are perfect. Your –" she stutters slightly, because there is a concept in Gallifreyan, but no word in English – "Your soul is perfect. Your behaviours can grow and change, and your appearance, but your soul does not, and it is that that I love. I will stay beside you, in life and in death, in peace and in war, until the end of time and the beginning of the universe. Everything which I am, which I have been, and which I shall be is yours, to do with as you will."
She shivers slightly, hands clenching on Leela's. "I cannot promise to be perfect. You value truth, and so honest I shall be: I cannot be perfect. But I will strive to be so in your eyes until the end of days. I may lose my patience or my temper, grieve, mock, or scorn, but when the time is come, I shall think of your wishes before any other, and strive to improve myself. You are my everything, and I swear – I hope that my every action will reflect that."
She nods at the officiant, who looks slightly stunned. "Ah – yes. Do you, Rodanvatriakos," he barely stutters over her name, "take Leela of the Sevateem to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?"
Rodan tries not to look as overwhelmed as she feels, standing in her ceremonial robes. "I do."
The officiant looks at Leela. Leela drops her hands and takes a step backwards. Tegan gasps. Rodan frowns, confused.
"Rodanvatriakos," Leela says smoothly, eyes glinting. "You use very many words."
The Doctor laughs and then makes a choking sound, as if someone had kicked him.
"I am not so good at words," she continues, eyes never leaving Rodan's. "I can try, but words do strange things when they leave my mouth."
Rodan swallows, and forces up a smile.
Leela smiles back. It looks real. "I cannot make promises. I kill, when you do not want me to kill. You call me 'rash' and 'reckless'. These are things I cannot change. They are me. I will not try. But – I will listen."
"I never asked for any more," Rodan says, though she knows she should be quiet.
The Doctor makes another bizarre noise.
"Shush," Leela tells her, smile gentle. "In my tribe, we say no words. We do something else. I know you cannot do it in return. I do not care. You have done more for me than I know words, and now I do something for you." In a single, fluid motion, she unsheathes her knife and presents it to Rodan, hilt first. "Yours."
Rodan is trembling again as she reaches out for the hilt. No one but Leela touches her knife, even Rodan. Her fingers close around the leather and brush against Leela's. Impulsively, she shoves her emotions at her partner.
Leela grins and releases the knife, dropping her hands. "You may speak your words, shaman," she says coldly, looking at the officiant.
Rodan despairs at covering any of this up, but Leela's knife is in one hand, and she reaches out to clasp Leela's hand with the other.
The officiant looks stunned, but moves on. "Do you, Leela of the Sevateem, take Rodanvatriakos to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?"
"I do," Leela says, and her voice sings.
"Then you may now kiss," the officiant says, but Rodan's hand is already moving up Leela's arm, up to the contact points on her head.
Leela raises her other arm and clasps her fingers around Rodan's on the knife. "Contact," she says, smiling.
"Contact," Rodan replies, and their minds touch.
For a brief moment, they are lost in each other, minds swirling, one enveloping the other and merging, LeelaRodan RodanLeela, no beginning and no end, just a circle of love and affection and devotion.
Then they pull back jointly to hear the Doctor clapping enthusiastically, his companions slightly slower. He runs up before Tegan can grab onto him again, face bright red. "Ah – congrat– well, a very nice wedding at least. A bit – Rodan, a bit loud, but – congratulations to both of you!"
They turn to face him, still holding hands. "I did nothing," Leela says, confused but smiling.
Rodan turns a nearly identical shade of red, realizing – she'd forgotten shielding. "Oh – I – Lord President, I'm –"
The Doctor shifts from foot to foot. "Yes, well, happens to the best of us[1] ," he says, rubbing the back of his neck. "Don't – It's really fine, I just – you were a bit loud."
"The best of us?" Rodan mouths quietly, putting two and two together and coming up with four.
Leela frowns, confused. "Loud? We weren't loud."
Out of the corner of Rodan's eye, she can see Tegan looking similarly bewildered and Nyssa bright pink. "Your companion?" Rodan asks quietly.
The Doctor clears his throat. "She heard."
"What are you talking about?" Leela says, louder than Rodan is really comfortable with.
Rodan fumbles with the knife, semi-accidentally. "Oh, take this back. I gift it to you." She manages to not sound completely disapproving, but it is a near thing. Maybe if she changes the subject, they can all forget about this.
Giggling, Leela takes the knife and slides it back into its sheath. "Doctor. How are you?"
"Very good," the Doctor says, grinning madly. "Lovely wedding. I – well, might have one of my own in a bit, we'll see."
"What?" Rodan squeaks, and it is a squeak, try as she might.
The Doctor flushes again. "Oh! No. No, no, no. Not me. No – ah. Them." He jabs a finger at Tegan and Nyssa. "I meant them, I'm really – sorry."
It takes Rodan a moment of staring, but she can see it, in the way Tegan looks at Nyssa for guidance, and Nyssa's hand rests for just a moment against Tegan's. "Do they know?" she says quietly.
The Doctor makes several motions with his hands that are probably supposed to be a Gallic shrug. "Not – really. They haven't said anything. I think."
Leela snorts. "They will."
"Hmm," the Doctor says, smiling. "And your TARDIS? Is he? Oh, and K-9!"
Rodan looks down. He is indeed bouncing, rocking forward and back from heel to toe. "Our TARDIS is fine. K-9 is happy."
The Doctor finally sticks his hands in his pockets, still bouncing. "Oh! A gift." He fumbles for a moment, and pulls out a white cube. "Because –" He tries to wave both hands, and Rodan snags the cube before he can drop it. "Thank you. Because you can't make your own. One message, anywhere in space and time. And accurate. I think."
"We get gifts?" Leela says.
Rodan smiles. "Yes. Doctor – we did not rent the boat for –"
He sobers slightly, catching her eye. "Another gift. Take care, Rodanvatriakos. Lungbarrow offers its blessing."
"Take care, my Lord," she says, just as formally. "Yewcroft accepts your blessing and all that entails." Her House would kill her if they knew she was doing this, but she really could not care less. If she hasn't yet been exiled officially, she's still in de facto exile and has no plans to ever return to Gallifrey.
The Doctor grins back, all pretence at sobriety gone. "Go. Explore the universe. Get in danger. Call if you need me."
Leela laughs, and drags Rodan back to their TARDIS. On the way, Rodan sees Tegan eyeing Nyssa with interest, and smiles.
"We're married," Leela says, excitedly.
Rodan couldn't be bothered to correct her. "Yes. We are."
Leela giggles, and they nearly fall into their TARDIS.
