A/N: Okay...here comes "the talk." Prepare yourselves, and once again: Please don't leave hate messages about the characters as reviews. Callie and Arizona, in my mind, are meant to be together. So that says something for the future of this story. If you're browsing for a fic that is based on Callie just leaving Arizona and finding someone else, or vice versa, this isn't it.

With that said, reviews are appreciated as long as you keep them clean. :) Hope you guys like this chapter; it took me a long time to realize what I wanted Arizona to say.


Callie leaned her head against her apartment door, blindly reaching for keys that seemed to be lost in her purse. She was utterly exhausted, and wouldn't have even thought of going home for the night, except that she knew her unplanned trip was scheduled to begin in just a few hours, and she had to get some rest, or at least pack. 'Get in, get out. How hard can that be?'

Not giving herself a chance for second guessing, Callie stepped inside...and froze.

The memories rushed back to her, flashing in front of her eyes as she saw Arizona waiting for her on their couch, and she couldn't help thinking that this is what death was supposed to feel like.

One scene in particular was impossible to shake. She could see it clearly: she'd been sitting on the couch, waiting for hours for Arizona to get home. It was the day of her at the time girlfriend's birthday, and the day she'd almost ruined everything trying to surprise her. It was the first time they finally managed to say "I love you."

Now, Arizona was front of her, in the exact same position she had been in almost too long ago, and she didn't dare take another step. It was ridiculous to feel as if sudden movements could change anything, but after all that had happened Callie felt as if she could scare off her own wife just by getting any closer.

Fortunately, Arizona stood up, her expression barely shifting to show signs of emotion, and Callie was snapped back to reality. The reality was that everything had changed, and it was far beyond her control. Her wife was right in front of her, staring, waiting for her to say anything, and still Callie could not find the words to explain what she felt in the pit of her stomach.

She'd always found words.

"Calliope..." Arizona's voice was different; lighter, yet holding the weight of the world. The soft tone in which she spoke Callie's full name still made Callie smile. "Follow me?"

Arizona didn't look back as she tiptoed into the nursery where Sofia was now sleeping, and sat down on one of the two worn down rocking chairs set up next to each other. After what felt like full minutes, the second chair creaked as a body sunk into the plush seating only a foot away from her own place in the room. Arizona breathed in deeply as the scent of Callie washed over her, but didn't look over.

Callie forced herself not to reach out and take Arizona's hand in her own. Even after all this time, and all that had happened, Callie felt most connected to the woman when their hands touched. But she couldn't do that now, not when she was just trying to get through the day without losing it again. So instead, she stared at the pale palm that rested on the armrest so close to her own hand, only separated by the distance between their chairs.

Arizona's palm looked soft, yet Callie could almost feel the calluses on each finger that told a different story. One of a woman who'd always been stronger than she looked at first glance. Callie had admired that from the beginning. But now, as Callie looked at a face lined with new creases and lines that she'd never taken the time to notice before that night, she came to the realization that Arizona just looked as drained as she was, if not more. She'd look like she'd been through decades worth of hardships, in just a year.

Suddenly, Callie felt as if that night, no matter what happened, would be more important to their relationship than their wedding and the day Sofia was born, combined. The air seemed to freeze, waiting as eagerly and nervously for Arizona to speak as she had been. Luckily, no one had to wait very long.

Both sets of eyes turned to the sleeping Sofia as Arizona finally got up the courage to whisper what she'd been waiting for Callie to come home to say. "...I always put off filing for second parent adoption after Mark passed away. Not because I don't feel like she's mine. Sofia is...just as much my child as she is yours, or Mark's. It just didn't feel right to take the father figure spot of a man who was a better person than I could ever think of being."

Callie couldn't stop her vision from blurring as tears appeared in her eyes just thinking of Mark, but refused to blink them away.

Arizona, of course, noticed, but just continued. "Sometimes when I try to fall asleep at night..." her voice wavered slightly, "I wish that it was Mark who'd survived the plane crash. Because he would have taken one leg over death any day. He would have taken it like...well, like Mark. He would have taken care of you. And he certainly wouldn't make you feel like you'd lost the both of us. At least you would have someone you deserve."

Callie opened her mouth to speak, but Arizona just held up a hand. "This isn't to make you feel guilty, Calliope. Just...let me get to my point, please." Arizona knew she was begging now, but she had no choice. "I always thought I was in the worst pain possible, but I couldn't be more wrong. You're in pain, Calliope. I saw you trying to fight it every day, and I ignored it. No wife should ever ignore their loved one's pain, because... when you get married, you're supposed to be the one who makes them happy." Arizona shrugged with a self-deprecating half-smile.

"I'm not who my father raised me to be, and that's all he ever asked of me." Arizona cast her eyes towards the floor, not being able to look at the woman she loved. "I cheated on you to make you feel what I felt. But I... I know now that you already did feel it. You felt that every day, and more." Arizona finally looked up at Callie, whose emotions were still unreadable. 'She's listening, that's a good sign…' With renewed confidence, she continued before Callie could try to respond again.

"Up until about... An hour before you walked through that door, I was planning on telling you that our relationship was one hundred percent up to you. But that's... unfair of me to ask of you. We both know you'd only think of our daughter. Now, I want you to think of yourself. I never wanted to be a mom until I almost lost you the first time. But now I know without a doubt that I'll always be there for Sofia. On the other hand, you might not want me around. I can promise you this: you come back from California and tell me to leave, and I'll do it. Hell, you could wait a year and then decide to kick me out, and I'll be gone before you can blink. But..."

Arizona reached out with her left arm for Callie's hand that rested on the side of the rocking chair. She didn't move to intertwine their fingers, instead comforting her wife with soft movements of her thumb to the back of a tanned hand. "I want you to know that I'm not going anywhere. Not until you know for sure. You may have lost me for a while there, but... Right now, I have a lot more to lose. You, and..." Arizona purposely didn't continue, but another glance at the sleeping child clued Callie in, causing her to tilt her head in confusion.

"Arizona... Sofia is yours. You said it yourself. No matter what any paper says. You're a wonderful mom. You will always be. If we... split up, I promise I won't take her away. She's not going anywhere."

Arizona let out a breath she didn't know she was holding in, and looked straight at her wife. " And what about you?"

"I...need time to think." Callie cleared her throat in an attempt to push down the lump that had formed and forced herself to sound stronger. "I just don't know where we're supposed to go from here. I was settled for life! I gave my heart, my everything to you, Arizona Robbins. And you...you crushed it into little tiny pieces! And then I put it back together and you did it again. And this time...I thought this was it. I thought maybe, with all its cracks and bruises, our relationship would survive as long as you kept your promise that you'd never run."

"And now?" Arizona dared to continue to stare at the dark skinned woman through tears on her eyelashes.

"I should hate you. I should tell you to get out." Callie's voice was bitter. "But...I can't. And as much as I try to avoid it, I know why that is. You're it for me, Arizona. You're that person. And you don't see it. You don't see that I don't care that you have one freaking leg, because you're just as beautiful to me as you were years ago. You don't see how much it hurt me to have to single-handedly ruin the rest of your life because all you wanted is for me to save your leg, and I couldn't. But I could save you. So that's what I did. And when you slept with Lauren…It made me feel like you'd rather be dead than be with me. I know that isn't it, but…It was always in the back of my mind." Callie absentmindedly played with Arizona's wedding ring, spinning it back and forth. "I should tell you to go, but I just don't know if I can make it without you. And that's not fair."

Arizona tried desperately to catch the frustrated tears that ran down Callie's cheeks, and ended up cupping her face with both palms. She searched for something to say, anything to stall losing her wife just because she'd listened to some dumb surgeon that just wanted to sleep with her.

"You know...I fight myself, when I'm happy. I think, 'This can't be right; no one could ever love me enough to keep me around when I inevitably fuck up.' And so...this is what I do. It's like...friendly fire, and you got caught in it- and you stuck around. The first time. And the second...and the third...and now I'm lost in a war in my head and I can't win. I'm just an injured soldier who wants out… And I can't get out. I can't get out of my own head and I know that I'm just going to keep losing." Arizona felt relieved when she noticed Callie had stopped crying and started listening.

"Lauren saw me as a pretty face, but... you see everything. You see all of me, even some things that I can't see... It was too much for me, because I only wanted to feel pain and anger for what had happened to me. And now...I see you. All of you. And I know that you don't like to run away from your problems, but this time, you have to take a break." Arizona leaned forward to kiss Callie's forehead gently. She knew what she had to say next, but that didn't make it easier.

"So I want you to go to California, and have fun with Addison, and see what's out there that's not me. So, you can come back and say, 'You're not holding me back!' And I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you, even though I'll know that can't be done." She smiled, and took both of Callie's hands in her own. "...Or, you can see that I am holding you back, and you can then tell me to go. This way only your happiness is in your hands. Your happiness, Calliope. You can get that back. And when you're happy, I can be happy too," Arizona finished. The silence that followed for a few seconds was almost haunting.

Suddenly, Arizona was pulled up out of the chair and swept into Callie's arms for a tight hug. It took the blonde a few seconds, but soon she was grasping at the back of Callie's shirt, her head buried in her wife's neck...and finally, she could breathe again.

Callie spoke for the first time, her voice thick with emotion. "I love you, Arizona. Always. Even if..." she trailed off, but Arizona knew exactly what she meant.

"Even if."

The couple did nothing except stand there, holding each other until their child began to stir. Both wondered if this would be the last time they'd get the chance to feel like a family. But even with all the possibilities of the future weighing them down, they both felt as if they could get their lives back.