39 Break the Cycle

After listening to Yuna's goodbyes, it was hard for me to not to cry my eyes out, again. I just couldn't bear to lose her. And furthermore, I couldn't bear to let her soul be destroyed. But she was determined.

I had to run to catch up to everyone. When I did, they were almost at the bottom, in the dead city. Once we got there, twilight was upon us. Even Yuna wanted to stall. "Um...Let's rest here for the night...so I can be strong...for tomorrow." She choked as she said the last word. Tomorrow. Despite how much I tried to tell myself that I could protect her, I feared that it would be the last day I would ever guard my summoner, and the last day I would ever be with the girl I love.

Auron tried to object, but Lulu gave him a very sharp look, and even Auron didn't want to get on Lulu's bad side. We found an open area, and threw some wood together for a fire. This time, though, Lulu let Yuna have the honor of lighting it. Yuna had finally mastered all four elements. I wasn't sure if that would help with the final aeon, but I hoped so.

No one spoke as we nibbled on our stale food. I shoved the rest of mine into my pocket; I couldn't even swallow, though I had eaten almost nothing all day. I got up and walked away, climbing a hill of rubble to look over my fallen city, once again. Soon, though, I tired of the sight, and went resolutely back to the group. I leaned down and took Yuna's hand, helping her to her feet. She was confused, but followed my lead, through the desolation.

When we were far away, I pulled her to me and clung to her. We rocked back and forth, holding to each other for dear life. After a while, I sat down with my back resting against a piece of wreckage. She leaned against my chest, tracing her fingers across my face and down my neck, mesmerized, though I didn't know by what. She ended up with her palm resting over my heart. I could feel its beat reflecting off her hand. It reminded me once again of the fayth's crazy tale about me being a dream.

But still, he also said there was a way to get back to my Zanarkand, and I could even take Yuna with me. Everything was so confusing and twisted in my head, and the more I thought about it, the more pain I felt. Finally I trashed all those thoughts, and focused on this moment, and on the girl I held in my arms. I toyed with her hair, leaning down to kiss her. Her returning kiss was even more fervent than her kisses had been back that night in Macalania.

I loved the way she tasted; the only way I could describe it was pure...with a hint of sweetness. I shifted to get more comfortable, holding her tight. After a long while, she drew back, wiping tears from her face. "I-I don't want to do it! I don't want to die!" She sobbed uncontrollably, falling against me and burying her face in my neck. She wrapped her arms around me, refusing to let go. I hugged her, and we stayed that way for I don't know how long, but eventually, my back started hurting.

I laid down in the dust, and she snuggled up to me. In time, we fell asleep, completely forgetting about her other guardians, who were panicking. I was very rudely awakened when someone grabbed the back of my blitz uniform and lifted me into the air. "What do you think you're doing?" Auron was unusually mad. He dropped me, and I turned to look at him. I had never seen him so furious. It was pretty scary. I looked back at Yuna, who was waking, noticing that her source of warmth was no longer there. "It is fine! I found them." Auron shouted, and soon the others began to arrive.

Of course, everyone was very upset with me, but it was so beyond worth it. "Yuna. You should be ashamed of yourself." Auron rebuked her. She bowed to him slightly. "I'm so sorry...no...I am not sorry. This is my pilgrimage, not yours. Please stop trying to control me." Everyone was shocked. She never spoke to anyone that way...well, except for Seymour.

"Allow me this one last privilege before I die." She was so blunt; it was obvious that she had no intention of letting them tell her what to do. "Fine." Auron grunted, sending a scowl in my direction. Kimahri flicked my ear with his tail. Wakka just looked completely dumbfounded, and Lulu was no less upset than Auron. "I object." She hissed as she walked past us. Rikku followed, leaving us with a half-hearted mischievous grin.

When they were gone, we cuddled together again, new sorrow enveloping us. Her words, 'one last privilege before I die' hurt me. They hurt me badly. She curled up against me, and I almost whispered into her ear those three words that were trapped inside me. I just couldn't. Something held me back; I was afraid that if I told her, it would only make the whole thing more awful. So instead I just kissed her lightly and nuzzled my face into her hair. We slept till dawn broke.

When we returned back to the place where the others stayed, they were already awake. No one was happy; no one cracked a smile in greeting; no one even spoke. That was the last day. I gripped Yuna's hand, but then loosened, realizing that I was hurting her.

Auron took us through the barren streets, and we fought of countless dozens of fiends; all types of them. It wasn't terribly difficult, and by nightfall we made it to our destination. My jaw nearly hit the floor. It was the blitz stadium. My blitz stadium. But I had seen it not even a year ago. Then it had been polished and well...not broken. That one was completely obliterated, yet still recognizable. So my Zanarkand truly was the same Zanarkand, just in an alternate dream dimension...or something like that.

An unsent man came to us. "Journeyer of the long road, name yourself." Yuna came forward. "I am the summoner Yuna. I have come from the island of Besaid." He beckoned for her. "Your eyes, my dear. Show me the long road you have traveled." He gazed in her eyes silently for several moments, and I am pretty sure we were all holding our breaths. I did not know what he was searching for, but I knew it was important. "You have journeyed well. Lady Yunalesca will welcome your arrival. Go to her now; bring your guardians with you. Go."

We entered the dome, and I took in the surroundings. It was collapsed inside, and the stands were long since flattened. Suddenly, before us appeared two women, spirits. One of them bowed to the other. "If it might benefit the future of Spira, I will gladly give my life. It is the highest honor for which a guardian might ask. Use my life, Lady Yocun, and rid Spira of Sin." Then they were gone. "Our predecessors. This dome is filled with pyreflies. It is like one gigantic sphere." Auron was solemn. "People's thoughts remain here. Forever."

Soon after, ghostly images of Jecht, Auron and Braska ran past us. I was startled to see my old man...it was strange. After not seeing him for ten years, I actually felt the weirdest kind of sadness about him. I didn't understand why. "Braska, you don't have to do this." Jecht didn't sound too upset, but he wasn't happy either. "Thank you for your concern, but I know that I will." Braska answered. "Fine. I said my piece, then." Apparently Jecht just felt obligated to tell him that.

"Well I haven't! Lord Braska, let us go back! I don't want to see you die!" The image of Auron was so...young... "You knew this would happen, my friend." Braska was so calm, so put together. Yuna was like that, too, except for twice. Those two times we spent together, just us, away from the rest of the world. Yet we were still captive to the grief that it brought, the fear of what it would bring.

"I cannot accept your death." Auron kept pushing for Braska to stop. Braska turned around to face Auron, and he also now faced us. "Auron, I am honored that you care for me so, but I have come to kill grief itself. I will defeat Sin, and lift the veil of sorrow covering Spira. You must understand, Auron." As Yuna's father, Braska, spoke, Yuna stepped forward and reached through his massless body, confirming that he truly was gone. Gone forever.

When we reached the trials, we knew they would be difficult. The floor was almost completely covered in electricity, with only a few spots of safety. Since there were so many of us, that made it harder. It took us hours to figure out the puzzle, but we finally did. I followed her in, and no one tried to stop me. After throwing out the teachings of Yevon, I had no reason to follow the precepts...not like I ever did, though.

My palms were sweating, I could already imagine her being mauled by a creature monstrous enough to defeat even the unbeatable Sin. As soon as Yuna stepped into the musty room, she knew something was wrong; I could tell. "Everyone! Come in!" They crowded into the room. "This isn't a fayth! It's just an empty statue!" Before any of us could say anything, the same unsent man from before appeared. "That statue lost its power as a fayth long ago. It is Lord Zaon, the first fayth of the Final Summoning. What you see before you is all that remains of him. Lord Zaon...his soul is gone."

"Gone?" Wakka shouted. "You mean, there is no Final Aeon?" I could hear true hope in Rikku's voice. I had to admit to myself that I felt it too. "But fear not." The old man said. "Lady Yunalesca will show you the path. The Final Aeon will be yours." He raised his hands in the air. "The summoner and the Final Aeon with join powers! Go to her, now. The lady awaits. He gestured at the back of the chamber where a pale blue portal was. It hadn't been there before. When I looked back at him, he was no where to be seen.

Yuna approached the portal, but I reached after her. "Yuna, wait!" "You knew this would happen, didn't you?" I looked to Auron, anger flashing in my eyes. "Yes. But if I had told you the truth, would that really have stopped you from coming?" Auron carelessly flung his words around. "Yuna." Kimahri began, but she cut him off. "I'm not going back." "Kimahri knows. Kimahri goes first. Yuna is safe. Kimahri protect." That was about the second time I had heard Kimahri speak during the whole journey. She nodded, and we filed through the portal, one by one.

Inside was both majestic and eerie. As soon as we entered, a scantily clad woman came down a set of stairs, quietly speaking to us. "Welcome to Zanarkand. I congratulate you, summoner. You have completed your pilgrimage. I will now bestow you with that which you seek. The Final Summoning will be yours. Now, choose." She swept her hand across the room. "You must choose the one who will become your fayth of the Final Summoning." Our gasps and cries of shock filled the room, but she just kept going.

"There must be a bond between the chosen and summoner, for that is what the Final Summoning embodies: The bond between husband and wife, mother and child, or between friends. If that bond is strong enough, its light will conquer Sin. A thousand years ago, I chose my husband Zaon as my fayth. Our bond was true, and I obtained the Final Aeon. There is nothing to fear. You will soon be freed of worry and pain. For once you call forth the Final Aeon, your life will end. Death is the ultimate and final liberation. Your father, Braska, chose this path." She abruptly turned and walked away, leaving us with another scene from Braska's pilgrimage.

Auron was still trying to convince him to stop. "It is not too late! Let us turn back!" Braska had obviously grown tired of Auron's attempts to chance his mind. "If I turn back, who will defeat Sin? Would you have another summoner and his guardians go through this?" "But...my Lord, there must be another way!" Jecht spoke up, "This is the only way we got now! Make me the fayth. I been doing some thinking. My dream is back in the other Zanarkand. I wanted to make that runt into a star blitz player. Show him the view from the top. But now I know there's no way home for me. I'm never gonna see him again. My dream's never gonna come true. So make me the fayth. I'll fight Sin with you, Braska. Then maybe my life will have some meaning..." Auron was desperate. "Don't do this, Jecht! If you live, there may be another way! We'll think of something, I know!" Jecht waved his hand at Auron. "Believe me, I thought this through. Besides, I ain't gettin' any younger, so I might as well make myself useful."

"Jecht." Braska began. "What! You're not gonna try to stop me, too!" Braska shook his head. "Sorry. Thank you, Jecht." He and Jecht started up the stairs. "Lord Braska, Jecht! Sin always comes back. It comes back after the Calm every time! The cycle will continue and your deaths will mean nothing!" "But there's always a chance it won't come back this time." Braska was a little nippy when he said that. Jecht smiled at Auron. "I understand what you're saying, Auron. But I'll find a way to break the cycle. Trust me, I'll think of something."

The present-day Auron sighed. "And the cycle went on." "If one of us has to become a fayth...I volunteer." Lulu offered gently. "Me too, Yuna." Wakka was pretty sad, but he wanted to help, and was willing to give his life; we all were. I was desperate. Yuna was so close to forfeiting her life. "But that won't change anything! You'd bring the Calm, then what? That won't break the cycle!"

"Listen...You wanna defeat Sin and Keep Yuna alive. That's just not gonna happen." Wakka bowed his head" "If you want everything, you will end up with nothing." Lulu studied the floor. "But I want everything! It's not too much to ask!" I was really worked up. Wakka frowned at me. "Now you're being childish!"

I threw my hands up. "So what would an adult do, then? They know they can just throw away a summoner, then they can have whatever they like! You're right, I might not even have a chance. But there's no way I'm gonna just stand by here and let Yuna go! And what Auron said about there being a way, I think it's true."

"You'll 'think of something'?" Rikku quoted Jecht's words. "I'll go ask Yunalesca. She's gotta know something." "You really think she'll help you?" Rikku was doubtful. "I don't know, but I have to try." I looked to Yuna. Our eyes were caught in a dead lock. She spoke softly, yet with determination. "I could just let my fate carry me away...following the same path my whole life through. But...I can't. What I do, I do with no regrets. Let's go." She led us up the stairs, and we entered Yunalesca's room.

Yunalesca waited for us there. "Have you chosen the one to become your fayth? Who will it be?" Yuna was hesitant. "Might I ask something first? Will Sin come back, even should I use the Final Summoning to defeat it?" Yunalesca's answered coldy. "Sin is eternal. Every Aeon that defeats it becomes Sin in its place. And thus is Sin reborn." I understood, then. That was why my old man became Sin. "Sin is an inevitable part of Spira's destiny. It is never ending."

Everyone was astonished, except me. Somehow, I saw it coming, yet it was sickening. "Never ending? But...but if we atone for our crimes, Sin will stop coming back! Someday it'll be gone!" Wakka couldn't believe it. Yunalesca remained silent. "This...this cannot be! The teachings state that we can exorcise Sin with complete atonement! It's been our only hope for a thousand years!" Tiny flames danced at the tips of Lulu's fingers. "Hope is comforting. It allows us to accept fate, however tragic it might be." "No!" I yelled at Yunalesca. At the same time, an image of the young Auron appeared. "Where is the sense in all this?" He demanded. "Braska believed in Yevon's teachings and died for them! Jecht believed in Braska and gave his life for him!" An image of Yunalesca stood before him. "They chose to die...because they had hope." He let cried out as he charged at her. She extended her palm and sent him flying across the room with an energy blast. The ghosts disappeared.

"Once again, who will be your Final Aeon?" I thought that Yuna couldn't possibly go through with it now, and for that I was grateful, though it was an atrocity that Sin might never be vanquished. "No one." Yuna's words brought a breath of fresh air to me, and I finally had hope that I could spend my life with her, even if it was a life fraught with troubles, I would still spend it with her.

Yuna continued. "I live for the people of Spira, and I would have gladly died for them. But no more! The Final Summoning...it is a false tradition that should be thrown away!" Yunalesca looked at her as if she was a stupid child. "No. It is our only hope. Your father sacrificed him to give that hope to the people. So they would forget sorrow." "You are wrong." Yuna's voice was nearly a growl. "My father...my father wanted to make Spira's sorrow go away! Not just cover it up with lies!" Yunalesca shook her head. "Sorrow cannot be abolished. It is meaningless to try." "My father...I loved him. So I...I will live with my sorrow, I will live my one life!" Yuna continued. "I will defeat sorrow, in his place. I will stand my ground and be strong. I don't know when it will be, by someday, I will conquer it. And I will do it without false hope!"

"Poor creature." Yunalesca pitied her patronizingly. "You would throw away hope. Well...I will free you before you can drown in your sorrow. It is better for you to die in hope than to live in despair. Let me be your liberator!" She began to change forms. "Now!" Auron shouted. "This is it! Now is the time to choose! Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrow! Your fate is in your hands!"

Kimahri stepped forward. "Yuna needs Kimahri. Kimahri protect Yuna." "I'm fighting!" Rikku squeaked. Wakka face-palmed. "I can't believe we're gonna fight Lady Yunalesca! Gimme a break!" Lulu stared him down. "You can always run" "Hah! No way! I'd never forgive myself if I ran away now!" "My thoughts exactly." She replied. "Yuna!" I took a fighting stance, ready for battle. "Let's see this thing through together!" "I will fight you! I will defeat you!" Yuna yelled at the woman-turned-monster.

We fought, and we fought hard. Twice we thought that we had finished her, but she kept changing into different forms. When we really did destroy her. She fell to the ground, once again human. "If I die, so does the Final Aeon. And with it, Spira's only hope." I pumped my fist, still full of adrenaline from the fight. "We'll find Spira a new hope!" She started dissipating. "Fool. There is no other way. Even if there was...even if you destroy Sin, Yu Yevon the immortal would only created it anew." "Yu Yevon?" Yuna was breathless. "Ah, Zaon, forgive me...Spira has been robbed of the light of hope...All that remains is sorrow." With her dying words, Yunalesca vanished, never to be seen again.