A/N: I wanted to post this tonight so I didn't have much time to edit thoroughly, I hope it's okay :D by the way, would you guys rather have them have more chapters apart to figure things out, or do you want me to still bring them back together soon? It would only be an extra 2 chapters apart maybe, but I know some of you really want some Calzona scenes so I'm leaving the decision up to you. :)

This is the longest chapter I've written so far. Ha. Yay. Review, please!


"Callie..."

"Give me a minute!" Callie had just finished putting on her makeup and was now sliding into her shoes.

"You said that an hour ago!" Addison wasn't actually angry, because she knew this night was for Callie; she was more worried that the other woman was starting to second guess going out to get smashed. "Oh, fuck it," Addison groaned and pushed open the door that led to the guest room that Callie had locked herself in over two hours ago. "Look, you need tonight so if you're thinking about backing out-" Addison cut herself off. "Oh my god. You look..." Her friend was standing at the mirror, pushing back a few stray stands of hair. Callie was wearing a tight, strapless red dress that cut off mid-thigh and accentuated every curve she had. Her black high heels were already strapped to her feet, adding an extra few inches. Her makeup was dark and made her brown eyes look smoldering, and her hair traveled in waves past her shoulder. "Shit. How am I supposed to get a man to dance with me when you're by my side? They're all gonna be too busy staring at you."

Callie smirked. She knew she looked good; she hadn't really bothered to dress up since Bailey's wedding and even then she'd stayed at least slightly conservative. Tonight, however, was about herself and she felt great. "Ready to go?"

"Hell no!" Addison looked at her incredulously. "I have to go change into something at least half as sexy as what you're wearing...and then I have to find a way to get some curves too because damn, woman."

Callie rolled her eyes. "You look amazing, Addy, and I really need some tequila. So let's go."

Xx

It was getting easier and easier to forget about the mess back in Seattle as time passed, so by the time both women arrived at the bar- a nice, but fairly underground kind of place that was only down the street from Addison's place- Callie was beginning to feel like she might actually have a fun time on her vacation.

When they made it inside, Addison made a beeline for two empty barstools and asked for two shots of tequila before Callie even blinked. The bartender winked and handed them their drinks before moving onto other customers.

"Ew." Addison shuddered. "Like either of us would ever go for that."

Callie laughed. "Be nice and he'll give us free drinks."

"I don't need free drinks from him." Addison huffed. "I can get them from other men. Ones who don't wink. Winking is creepy."

"Oh really?" Callie winked at her, trying not to smile.

"Stopppppp. No. It's weirding me out." Addison covered her eyes, and then looked through her fingers curiously. "So, I've been wondering."

"What?"

"Do you still like penis?"

Callie's mouth hung open. "Addy!"

"What?!" Addison didn't seem embarrassed at all by the question. "You haven't been with a guy since-"
Silence fell over them.

Callie sighed after a minute. "Yeah, since Mark."

Both felt the tension that suddenly formed in the room; they'd each been close to them in their separate ways and they'd never truly gotten the chance to talk about him since the accident. It hadn't been the first time that Callie had missed him since she'd found out about Arizona's cheating, and she really wished he was around just to hold her when she cried about it. He was one of a few people she ever truly let in.

Addison, on the other hand, had been so busy recently that she felt as if she was forgetting him, and said as much to Callie. She felt terrible.

"You're not forgetting him. You're just trying to keep living. That's what he'd want us to do, right?" Callie responded. "I just think that maybe no one will ever understand me like he did. Arizona and I love each other, but we're two completely different people and sometimes I feel like I don't know her at all."

"You know her more than you think you do, Callie," Addison reassured her.

"I'm not so sure." Callie just sighed again and rested her head on the counter, so Addison didn't say anything more. They sat in silence- Addison only sipping on her next drink while Callie threw back some another shot.

Just then, a woman approached and tapped Callie on the shoulder. "Hey, beautiful. I was wondering if you wanted to dance?" She had deep green eyes, tanned skin and short brown hair; she was gorgeous, but Callie declined as politely as she could.

"That's okay. Is this seat taken?" the woman asked, pointing to the seat on the other side of Callie.

"Umm…" Callie looked at Addison for help, but she just shrugged and stared with wide eyes, obviously curious how this would play out. "No, not really…" She wasn't really offering the seat, but it truly wasn't taken and she wanted to be nice. Still, she had a sudden feeling that this woman wasn't going to just drink.

"Mystery woman" took the seat, adjusting her black dress as she did, and gazed at Callie. "So, ya got a name?" Her smile stretched across her face as if she was trying to get Callie to do the same back.

"Uh…Callie. Callie Torres. I'm not from here though," Callie added quickly, and then felt like slapping her forehead. Way to go, Torres, she wasn't asking.

Her new acquaintance took it in stride, though, and attempted to continue the conversation. "Nice to meet you Callie." She winked. "I'm Audrey. Like Hepburn, except not that talented and not that pretty."

Callie smiled at the joke. "I think you're very pretty," she responded before she realized what she said and blushed. "Sorry…I lose my filter when I drink."

Audrey's smile got wider. "Thanks, honey. So you're not from here, huh? Vacationing in the city of celebrities?"

"No, um… Actually I'm here with…" Callie turned around to point at her best friend, but she was nowhere to be found. "Weird. Maybe she went to the bathroom." Just then, she saw Addison on the dance floor, dancing with a man she didn't know. Go, Addy! She cheered her friend on silently and then turned her attention back to Audrey. "She's dancing, but she'll be back. She'll find something wrong with that man in thirty minutes tops."

"I'll take that bet," Audrey joked, but she couldn't help frowning. She'd thought Callie was gay, but maybe if she was here with her straight best friend, she was getting mixed signals. She decided to test her theory. "Can I buy you a drink? Maybe something to slow you down?"

"Sure." Callie seemed happy at the offer, but still a little off as she'd been the whole conversation.

Aubrey called the bartender over and ordered them both something not too fruity but also not too strong. "Trust me, you'll like this. It's what I always get when I'm here to think. And you seem like you're really thinking." She reached out and gently touched the crease between Callie's eyebrows. Callie flinched but didn't pull away. "You're gonna get wrinkles if you don't stop that. And your kind of beauty shouldn't be messed with." Her smile reappeared.

Callie wasn't sure what to do. This woman was making her feel wanted, more than Arizona had in a long time, but she wasn't a cheater. Still, she couldn't help but want to forget about that for a few minutes. So she smiled back.

Their drinks came, and Callie took a hesitant sip, only to find that she loved it. The alcohol warmed her throat, but didn't burn like the shots she'd had before. It wasn't overwhelming, which was a nice change. "This is actually great," Callie told Audrey. "Thanks, by the way."

"Anything for you."

The two women made small talk for a couple of minutes as they continued to sip their drinks. Callie found that Audrey was actually really sweet, and felt some of the weight lift off her shoulders. Except every few seconds, her mind traveled back to Arizona.

Callie glanced at her phone that sat just next to where her hand was resting. It had lit up with a message, but she didn't want to be rude. What if it's Arizona?

Audrey seemed to take the look the wrong way because she reached over and took Callie's hand in her own. The Latina's other hand was hidden, so she hadn't yet seen the wedding ring.

So, where are ya from, if not here?" Audrey asked. She felt Callie's hand tense up under hers, but she didn't pull away.

"I'm actually from Seattle. I've only got a few days off to visit my friend, but it was… uh, it was needed."

Audrey didn't miss the way Callie's face lit up at the mention of Seattle and then dropped when she'd added the last part. She didn't ask, however. It was none of her business, and she wasn't about to give up a chance on this drop dead gorgeous woman in front of her just yet. "Seattle is nice," she answered before realizing that Callie was no longer paying her any attention. The Latina's hand started tapping underneath hers, as if she was impatient, and she kept glancing at the counter. Audrey assumed she was looking at their hands. "Are you okay?" she asked soothingly, and started drawing circles on the dark skin with her thumb.

Callie jumped at the movement. "Yeah… Sorry, I just…" she mumbled distractedly. Suddenly she pulled her hand back and reached for her phone. "Hold on."

Audrey watched as Callie stared at her phone for over a minute. Her emotions showed on her face, and they were all over the place. "Um… Callie?"

"What?" Callie's head snapped up. "Oh. I'm sorry," she repeated and then put her phone back down, but not without one last glance at the screen.

It was that moment that Audrey noticed the ring on her finger for the first time. "Your wife? Or husband?" she asked, pointing at the phone.

Callie seemed shocked by the question, and then realized she'd grabbed her phone with both her hands and her left hand was now on the counter as well. She nodded sheepishly. "My wife. It's not what you think. It's kind of hard to explain… I'm not really sure if we're together or not."

"But you're still not interested in anyone else." It was more of a statement than a question.

"What? No. I mean…" Callie stumbled over her answer, and then dropped her shoulders in defeat. "I can't be with anyone else. I can't even… live with the idea of being with someone else, without feeling like I'm cheating on her. I can't allow myself to feel flattered that you asked a crazy, sad woman like me to dance and you still stuck around when I turned you down."

Audrey pursed her lips. "You're still in love with this woman?" She waited for the nod from Callie to continue. "Well, a little piece of advice, hon. You're not going to stop loving her, so stop trying to."

Callie looked at her as if asking her to continue.

"I was married too. My wife passed away five years ago. We'd been married since we were twenty, and was as in love as anyone could be. And sure I'm getting back on my feet, but I'll tell you this now: those feelings don't ever go away. I'll never get the chance to be with her again, but I'd take anything to get her back. Now, I don't know what this woman did to you for you to end up thousands of miles away from her, but I do know that you still have your chance to be happy. Because as far as I'm aware, there's only one person out there who'll make you feel the way you do."

"How did you know?" Callie asked. "That I still loved her, I mean." She was feeling overwhelmed by what Audrey had said.

"Your eyes. When you looked at me just now, you looked like I do when I'm alone in an empty house. I've seen it in the mirror, and I see it in you."

Callie didn't completely understand, but somehow she knew this woman was telling the truth. "I'm...really sorry for leading you on, Audrey. And thank you for being wonderful anyways."

Audrey just tipped her head in acknowledgement and finished off her drink. "Well, I'll be going now; looks like your friend is heading back over here." The redhead Callie had pointed out earlier was just turning away from her dance partner, looking slightly pissed. She picked up Callie's phone and added her number. Noticing the look Callie gave her, she laughed. "This isn't for booty calls, don't worry. It's just…if you need someone to talk to." Audrey leaned forward and kissed Callie's cheek in a friendly way. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Callie Torres." She left right as Addison reached the table.

"What was that?" Addison lifted her eyebrow. "Did you just get a date?" She wasn't sure whether to be happy for her friend, or worried.

"No…I got really great advice. I need two more shots," Callie mumbled. She was emotionally drained from the conversation with Audrey, and was back to her previous state of wanting to get smashed. She managed to drink both of the shots before her eyes started to water, and then proceeded to stare in front of her at the countertop for five minutes.

When too much time passed, Addison snapped her fingers in her face. "Callie?"

"I love her, Addison." Callie wiped her eyes and then shot up suddenly. The alcohol seemed to have hit her full force. "I have to...to call her. Where's my phone?" Callie dug haphazardly through her purse. "Where's my phone, Addy?" She started to panic.

Addison looked at her worriedly and picked up the phone from its placement on the counter- where it had been the whole time. "Callie...now might not be the best time to-"

"No. I have to call." Callie dialed Arizona's number, stood up, and walked outside. When she was far enough away from the noise of the bar, she leaned against a brick wall and waited.

The call went to voicemail.

'Heyyy… Arizona. I'm calling because, well...I'm lonely and I'm drunk and I'm pissed." Callie laughed degradingly. "You know…you leave, a lot; you fuck with my head and make me all crazy weird in love and I like it and then you do some dumb thing to ruin it... So I'm admitting that I fucked up too- when I told you I'd save your leg and I knew I couldn't make that promise but I did anyways because that was the only way to make you happy. I mean, you were in a plane crash! And I was just... Watching you and feeling helpless and hopeless but I didn't want you to feel that too. So I made a promise I couldn't keep and I'm sorry. The difference is, I did that out of love for you, and what do you do for me? You have sex with another woman. And I don't blame you Arizona, because that's who you are. You do stupid things. And I still love you anyways. That's how it always worked, right? I didn't really understand that until today, when someone…someone told me that my kind of love for you isn't going away. Sucks, right?"

Callie took a deep breath. "I remember what you told me when we barely knew each other; you called me a 'newborn.' And then you later said that you misjudge situations when you're scared. And I kept thinking to myself, 'what could you possibly be scared of, I'm the one who's lost a husband and a girlfriend and is the center of gossip for the nurses because of the innumerable times they've seen me cry into my drinks at Joe's. I should be the one who's scared.' And now... maybe I get it. Being in a relationship with me is so terrible that you run off to Africa and sleep with other women and leave me time and time again. And then you just... come back and you probably think, 'There's no one else I'd rather be with than Callie.' Well, guess what. Maybe you just misjudged that." Callie sobbed uncontrollably into her hand that covered her mouth to try to muffle the sound.

"Maybe you don't want me; maybe everything I am isn't good enough. I've never been enough for anyone to stay, why should this be different? So I don't hate you. I hate myself, for letting myself believe that I could be loved unconditionally by the most amazing woman I've ever met, forever. I love you Arizona. I've always taken you back in an instant, and I always will. Because that's what love is, for me. I'm thinking that maybe you don't feel that, you don't feel what I feel. I'm in so much pain from what you've done and I'm tired of you not knowing what you want. So just…tell me if what you want isn't me. Why else would you be doing this, right?"

Callie's hand shook so terribly that her phone dropped onto the ground, shattering the screen and ending the call. "Shit…" She picked it up, barely missing toppling over as her last drink hit her. She stared at her phone for a few seconds, and saw that her lockscreen, a picture of her, Arizona, and Sofia, was now covered with cracks. Their faces were barely visible. "Oh, fuck you." Callie took the device into her right hand, stepped back, turned around, and launched it at the wall. It landed at the base of the building, broken beyond repair.

"Callie..."

"I ruin everything I touch." Callie knew it was Addison calling her name even without turning around. She felt arms wrap around her but refused to open her eyes, knowing that it would just cause more tears to start falling.

"Oh, Cal. We can get you a new phone tomorrow." Addison responded unsurely. She knew Callie tended to get slightly unstable when her relationships fell apart, but this was on a whole new level. "Don't even worry about it." She patted Callie's back awkwardly when she let out another loud sob.

"I don't care about my phone... I'm talking about everything. The only thing I'm good at is fixing bones!" Callie pulled Addison closer and rested her head on the redhead's shoulder. "And I didn't even like bones anymore... not when I had Arizona."

"Are you kidding? You love bones! And you know what else you love?"

Callie shook her head, but it obviously caught her attention and she began to sober up enough to listen.

"Tissue and cartilage and anything that holds things together. Do you know why?"

Callie seemed to mumble something.

"I can't hear you."

"...I hold things together too," Callie answered with a sigh when she lifted her head up.

Addison smiled. "There's my girl. Let's go home. And then you can start that 'holding together' stuff when you're capable of walking in a straight line again." She glanced at Callie's face and grimaced. "And when you get that makeup off. It's just scary now. This is why you should always go waterproof."

By the time they reached the house, Callie's eyelids were drooping, but with the help of a mostly stable Addison, she got into bed almost no problems. "Thanks, Addy," Callie said before her friend could close the door all the way. Her face was still caked in runny makeup- Addison hadn't even attempted to fix that mess.

"You really are something, Callie Torres." Addison shook her head. She really hoped that her friend's luck would begin to change.