I'm back! :) I hope you'll like the chapter! To be honest, this past week felt like YEARS, but it was only the first week of school D: I hope you'll like the chapter! Happy reading! :)
CHAPTER 5
Tough Thinking
Merlin loved the earth forest even more than he loved the Garden of Eden. The Garden was beautiful, but he's never really felt like it was where he belonged, after all. Yes, it was his home, but... something was always missing and Merlin never knew what that was. It felt as if something was wrong – either with the Garden or with himself.
What he realized on his way back to Camelot though, was that for the first time in his life... that feeling was gone. And it lessened as soon as he landed on Earth and then vanished entirely as soon as he spoke to Arthur for the first time and realized he would have to stay in Camelot until other angels found him.
Just the day before, when he thought about his brothers and sisters finding him and bringing him back home, he felt excited. But now, after the trip and a night spent in Arthur's bed, when he thought about leaving this place... he felt a little sad. He wasn't sure why he felt that way, but just to be sure, he hoped to spend more days on Earth to analyze his feelings and figure out an answer.
As he was walking behind Arthur (who rode slowly for Merlin to keep up if he wanted to keep walking instead of flying, which was thoughtful and appreciated), Merlin felt almost too many things at once. He heard the birds and knew they were closer to him than ever before (when he was watching them in heaven, he was so far away). He loved the sunlight that shone through the green leaves and whenever he looked at Arthur, he wondered what it would feel like to ride a horse as well.
But the journey ended and they all found themselves in the courtyard again. Merlin sighed and took off the jacket Arthur had lent him, silently following Arthur back to his chambers, and as soon as the door closed, he made himself visible again, even with his wings. He had nothing to hide anymore.
"Do you make such trips often?" He asked as he handed Arthur the jacket and sat down on the chair by the table.
"About once in two weeks." Arthur answered, putting the jacket on the table and standing in front of Merlin, looking at his wings. He took a deep breath when he saw that Merlin moved his wings a little and then he closed his eyes briefly and continued, "but-"
"Sire?" Someone knocked on the door and opened them immediately after. It was Arthur's manservant, Morris.
Arthur looked at him and then quickly back at Merlin, but thankfully the angel was already invisible and his servant didn't notice anything.
"Do you want me to prepare you a bath like you asked before the trip, sire?" The young boy asked. Merlin kept watching him, his every move. For some reason, his presence and the fact that he interrupted him with Arthur made him dislike the boy, even though he knew that theoretically, he should love everybody because he was an angel. Or at least give everybody a chance.
He narrowed his eyes and then shifted his gaze to Arthur, who seemed a little taken aback. He must have forgotten about the bath, Merlin thought.
"Later." Arthur finally said, glancing at the chair where Merlin was sitting, but his gaze fell right through Merlin's body. "Until then," Arthur quickly looked around the room and Merlin dared to wander into his mind – Arthur didn't seem to want the boy in the room while Merlin was there too, for which Merlin was glad. "Do my laundry, sharpen my sword and polish my shield for tomorrow's training and muck out the stables."
"Of course, sire." The boy nodded and went over to Merlin, putting a tray full of food on the table. That was the first time Merlin noticed the boy was holding it, he must have focused on his face too much. Merlin dismissed the thought and instead looked at the food – there were two chicken drumsticks, an apple and three little sausages with cheese. The tray also had a little goblet and a pitcher of water.
"Merlin?" He heard Arthur whisper, making him turn back to him. His manservant was gone and Merlin was still invisible, so he allowed Arthur to see him again and smiled up at him.
"That should keep him from walking in for at least two hours." Arthur said, sitting down at the table, on the opposite chair of Merlin.
"You mean the chores that you've given him?"
"Yes." Arthur nodded, looking at the food in front of him. According to what Merlin saw in Arthur's eyes, the prince was hungry and happy to see so much food in front of him.
He poured himself a goblet of water. "Normally, my manservant would do this, but thankfully he's gone now." Arthur commented. Merlin didn't really understand why he told him this because the information was quite irrelevant, but he appreciated Arthur talking to him.
"What is this?" He asked as he pointed at the sausages.
Arthur paused for a second, putting the pitcher back on the table and looked at the sausages. "They're sausages, from a pig."
Merlin nodded. "Do you eat animals often?" He asked, eyeing the drumsticks warily. He couldn't even imagine putting a little bit of that poor creature inside his mouth.
"Practically every day." Arthur nodded, making Merlin nod sadly and swallow. "You don't like it?" The prince asked and Merlin had to shake his head.
"You saw that deer today." He told him. "I would never kill it, let alone eat it." He told him slowly. "And this?" He pointed at the apple. "That's an apple, right? We have those in the Garden, even though we never eat." He admitted, already thinking about the unknown taste in his mouth. He did fall asleep after all, maybe he would need to eat too?
"It is." Arthur nodded again and Merlin watched as he took a bite of the sausage, with a grimace on his face.
"I wonder what it tastes like." Merlin said out loud, without even thinking about it. And as he kept watching the apple, suddenly Arthur took it and placed it in front of him.
"Take a bite, then." The prince told him.
"But I don't eat, I told you." Merlin repeated. "Angels don-"
"You said the same about sleeping and who woke up next to me this morning?" Arthur chuckled. The sound made Merlin feel... warm inside. And with a smile, he accepted the apple.
"Thank you." He said.
"Don't mention it." Arthur nodded and continued eating the poor pig.
Merlin decided not to watch that and instead, he looked down at the shiny red apple in his hand. He brought it closer to his lips and opened his mouth, licking it. Without any warning, Arthur started laughing.
"What?" Merlin asked and he couldn't help but move the corners of his lips up. Arthur's laughter was contagious.
"You won't taste anything like that, you idiot." There was the insult again. But Arthur sounded... happy. "You're basically a baby." He mumbled as he rolled his eyes at Merlin.
Merlin narrowed his eyes again. "I'm much older than you, just for your information." He said. Then he opened his mouth and took a large bite of the apple, managing to keep it all in his mouth as he closed it. Arthur watched him as Merlin started biting and waited for a reaction. As if by some magic, the tasteless apple turned into the sweetest thing that Merlin's ever experienced and he had to close his eyes as he felt it on his tongue. "Mmm," he moaned, surprising himself.
When he looked at Arthur again, the prince was smirking slightly. "Not so tasteless anymore, is it?" He asked.
Merlin couldn't answer, so he shook his head. He tried to savour the taste in his mouth, but eventually, he swallowed and the sweetness was almost gone. Without saying anything, he took another bite and then another, officially eating his first apple in his entire life.
They continued eating in silence and by the time Merlin was finished with the apple, Arthur already managed to eat more than half of his dinner. When even the last sausage was gone, Arthur drank from the goblet and sighed loudly.
"So did you like the apple?" He asked, stretching his arms over his head as he stood up.
"I did, thank you." Merlin stood up as well, looking around the room, not really knowing what to do now.
He's never been bored in his entire life, and that wasn't because he had too much to learn in the Garden about angels and heaven. In fact, he didn't do a lot in the Garden, but ever since he landed on Earth, his sense of time changed. And right now, he didn't know what to do with all that time he had.
So he sat down on Arthur's bed and stretched out his wings just like Arthur did his arms.
"So... how old are you?" Arthur asked when he sat down next to Merlin. Merlin noticed that Arthur's eyes wandered to some work on his table, probably something that he was supposed to sign or look over, but then his eyes settled on Merlin's big white wings and Merlin couldn't help but blush a little bit.
"I don't actually know." Merlin answered honestly. "We don't really measure time like you do. But I know I'm way older than you. And I know that I'm a lot younger than most of the other angels in Heaven."
"So you're basically an old teenager?" Arthur asked.
"I'm not sure," Merlin said and wanted to put his legs on the bed, but then he realized they were still too dirty from the forest. And he was still wearing the breeches.
Without thinking about anything, he stood up and started taking the breeches off. "I'm sorry I kept them on for so long, I forgot." He mumbled as he fought with the button on the front.
"Uhh," Arthur cleared his throat and when Merlin looked at him, he was genuinely concerned that Arthur lost the ability to speak because he just kept staring at Merlin like he had two heads instead of a pair of wings. "It's okay." Arthur mumbled at last and turned around, his face red.
Merlin frowned in confusion, but in the end, he managed to take the trousers off and then he untied the knot on his robe, making it fall down to his knees again. And with a snap of his fingers, his feet were clean.
"Where should I put it?" He asked, referring to the breeches. Arthur was still looking away from him, but then he carefully turned back and stood up.
"Just... here," he took the breeches from Merlin's hands and threw them over one of the chairs. "My manservant will take care of them later."
Merlin nodded and climbed up into the bed. Then he smiled again when Arthur sat next to him and kept glancing up at his wings. Merlin could feel that Arthur was curious, but also a little hesitant.
"You want to touch them, don't you?" Merlin laughed when Arthur just kept not talking and awkwardly glancing up. When he heard Merlin though, he looked into his eyes.
"Is that forbidden too?" He asked.
Merlin thought about it. He knew that he wasn't supposed to talk to Arthur or teach him about Heaven, let alone see his wings and let him see himself. He wasn't even supposed to be on Earth, he was supposed to watch everything from the pond upstairs. Basically, there were only two rules he hasn't broken yet. One, falling in love with a human, and two, letting someone touch his wings. He wasn't sure if that was a rule, but seeing as people weren't even supposed to see them... it probably was.
But Merlin didn't care, it didn't even matter anymore because in only two days, he was sure he'd already broken the record for how many rules can an angel break in such a short time.
"No," Merlin lied. "I mean, it probably is," he added when he realized he lied, which he wasn't supposed to do either, "but I don't think it matters anymore." He smiled at Arthur. "So... do you want to?"
"Uh.. yeah." Arthur admitted.
"Then you can touch them." Merlin smiled and turned his back to Arthur, slowly spreading his wings in front of Arthur's face. He could hear a silent "oh".
What he wasn't prepared for though, were Arthur's hands, even though he thought he was prepared for that. Apparently letting someone touch your wings feels completely different than letting them touch your skin, for example when you shake hands. That's not a big thing, but when Merlin felt Arthur's fingers carefully run through his feathers, it was huge.
"That's- uh..." Merlin stuttered as he closed his eyes briefly. "That's weird."
"Did I do something wrong?" Arthur asked, quickly putting his hands away.
"No, no, please continue." Merlin quickly assured him that it was alright. "I just... I've never... felt this before." He tried to explain.
Arthur was silent and for a second Merlin was scared that Arthur would stop. But then his gentle fingers returned and Merlin had to close his eyes again.
He didn't know what changed. He honestly didn't. One day he was in Heaven, talking to William, and the next he was sitting on the prince's bed, letting him caress his wings and encouraging him to continue.
Maybe he changed.
Maybe being here on Earth, or better – meeting Arthur – has changed him. From the first time he saw his face in the pond in the Garden, there was this... feeling inside of him that almost completely rewrote the feeling of not belonging up there. And up until now, Merlin wasn't sure what it was. But the feeling kept growing whenever he looked at Arthur or heard his voice or saw his smile. He felt... warm. He felt... happy.
And then it occurred to him. As he let Arthur's hands wander all over his white wings, he finally understood what this was all about.
He must have broken the last remaining rule of Heaven. It must have happened somewhere along the way.
He must have fallen in love with Arthur Pendragon.
Merlin jerked his head as he realized that, causing his wings to move away. Arthur's hands disappeared and Merlin turned back to him, feeling very hot in the face. He must have been blushing again.
"They're... very fluffy." Arthur smiled.
"Thanks." Merlin told him, a little breathless.
Then someone knocked on the door again and for the first time in his entire life, Merlin cursed.
"Come in." Arthur called when Merlin was invisible again.
And the angel didn't even have to turn around to know exactly who was interrupting them this time. It must have been the manservant again. And when he heard the boy's voice, he was sure that his evening with Arthur was ruined completely.
"I've finished sire." The boy informed him. Merlin just kept staring at Arthur's face, trying to figure out when exactly did his fascination and admiration turn into love. "Do you want me to prepare you the bath now?"
Merlin raised his head at the word bath and looked at the boy. Then he looked at Arthur's face and his cheeks turned even redder.
"Alright." Arthur answered as he looked at himself. And with that, Merlin was sure he was lost.
The manservant nodded and left the room again, starting the preparation of the bath that Arthur seemingly desired. Aka the moment Merlin would most probably see Arthur nake-
No, he would not. Merlin forced himself to believe. He was an angel. He wasn't supposed to be involved in any of this, and he wasn't going to spy on Arthur or stare at him the entire time. He was just... going to hide in-
"You can go to the antechambers while I have my bath." Arthur said out loud into the room. The manservant was gone again and Merlin was still invisible.
"Okay," he replied without letting Arthur see him – he was still so red in the face that he just couldn't let Arthur see that.
He left the bed and stood in front of Arthur for a while, looking at him and trying to yet again understand his feelings a little better. The way he was staring at his face would probably be embarrassing if he wasn't invisible. After a while he gave up and went into the antechambers, closing the door behind himself.
He heard Arthur sigh in his main chamber and then the door opened again and the manservant started filling up the wooden bathtub that magically appeared in the room. Merlin wondered where they kept it. And if he would need to take a bath too if he spent too much time on Earth and maybe lost his powers. After all, he already needed sleep and eating seemed pleasant too.
After a while of listening to the servant pour buckets of water into the tub again and again, Merlin put his head in his hands and closed his eyes.
How could he have let this happen? How did it even happen in the first place? When did he begin to... feel this way? Was it when he first saw Arthur's face in the pond? Obviously, that was where it started, where his obsession started. And then when he decided to help Arthur and ended up in his bed, the feelings that had been trapped inside him only blossomed.
Merlin wondered if this was normal or if he was the first angel to fall in love with a human. The rule must have existed for a reason after all... but now that he knew what he felt and why he kept looking at Arthur (and the way the sun shone through his almost golden hair in the forest), he became even more reluctant to leave Earth. He swallowed and opened his eyes again, feeling anxious.
What if the angels found him right now and he would never get to talk to Arthur again? What if they never found him and he'd have to stay here (that thought made him smile), although he wasn't sure how long angels could stay on Earth. Only archangels were allowed to leave Heaven and they never stayed long. But his sleeping and eating already suggested that something was happening, something that couldn't have been good.
And... what if the angels were watching him right now? What if they decided he should stay on Earth for his sins and all those broken rules... Merlin shook his head and took a calming breath. They would come back to him.
They would come and he'd have to tell them he decided to stay. Well, if Arthur wanted him to. Because the idea of protecting Arthur for the rest of his life from Heaven... didn't sound as appealing as it used to. It meant he'd never be able to speak to him again.
As he looked at the closed door and heard Arthur already stepping inside the tub, he had to smile. He hoped Arthur wanted him to stay.
Because what good did the love do to him if it was unrequited?
xoXÖXox
Honestly, at this point, Arthur didn't even know what he was doing. He was sitting in his bath tub full of bubbles from the soup his manservant used, and he was naked, with an actual angel in the next room.
The thing is, he thought that Merlin and him were getting closer. When he was leaving the forest, he was thinking about the angel again and he was sure that after the deer and cancelled hunting trip, they were developing a simple friendship. Something that shouldn't have happened because Merlin was leaving – no matter when that would happen.
But the more he talked to him, the easier it got. And he started loving their conversations. But one glance at Merlin's wings (when they weren't invisible) and he couldn't help but think that it was all going to end soon. Merlin was leaving. He didn't even know whether Merlin was still in his antechambers... what if his friends from Heaven already found him and took him away?
Arthur frowned as he thought about that.
How long has Merlin been on Earth? Barely a day. And yet thinking about him leaving already troubled Arthur so much that he had to stop thinking about it. It felt like some kind of a spell. As if Merlin ended up on Earth on purpose, only to enchant him with his smile and sparkling blue eyes and lips and wings and-
Arthur closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath. His thoughts were getting out of hand. But back to the point. He felt like Merlin's spell was so strong that there was simply no hope of ever getting out. Not that he wanted to of course. No matter how weird being in the presence of Merlin the day before and that morning was, now he found himself wishing to spend more time with him instead.
Which was probably why he kept glancing at the antechamber door so often, trying to imagine what Merlin was doing there and what he was thinking about or if he was feeling the same. Well that was the question of the day, wasn't it? How exactly did Arthur feel?
He closed his eyes for that and let his manservant wash his back with a sponge. The instant the warm hands of his manservant touched his skin, Arthur couldn't help but imagine they were Merlin's. But that thought made him open his eyes pretty quickly, panic spreading through his body. Why was he thinking that?
He swallowed when he thought about the answer. Just under an hour ago, his fingers were in between Merlin's feathers, running up and down and to the sides all over his wings. He wasn't lying when he said they were fluffy. They were the fluffiest thing he'd ever touched.
It was at that moment when he realized what was probably happening and he couldn't stop thinking about it since. He wouldn't normally touch anyone like that, and definitely not an angel. And yet there Merlin was, sitting in front of him and spreading his wings in front of Arthur's face.
He sighed again as he was thinking about this. There was something about Merlin... something he couldn't quite put his finger on. Something foreign and innocent and exciting at the same time. And when he thought about that, he found himself smiling. Which was why he knew that he was right about what was happening. There was one word for it.
Love
At first, it made Arthur panic again. It wiped the smile off of his face in a second and he sat upright in the tub, almost scaring his manservant.
"Is everything alright, sire?" The young boy asked, taking his hands away. It made Arthur's shoulders feel cold and yet again, he looked at the closed door to his antechambers.
"No, everything's fine, Morris." Arthur cleared his throat. Then he blinked and shook his head and sat straight again. "That will be enough, fetch the towel." He commanded and waited for Morris to return.
When he did, Arthur stood up and tied the towel around his hips and stepped out of the tub. "You can take care of the bath tomorrow, for the rest of the day you're dismissed." He told his manservant.
"Sire," Morris bowed and headed for the doors.
When Morris was finally gone, Arthur looked at the door to the antechambers again – it was open. His eyes widened and he swallowed, quickly going behind the changing screen.
How long has it been open? Has Merlin seen him stepping out of the tub? Has he opened the door only after Morris left his chambers? He couldn't stop the thoughts as they were racing in his mind and he had to close his eyes.
He could only focus on one thing right now. And that was – how the hell did he manage to fall in love with an angel? Someone he met only the day before? Was that even possible to fall in love so fast?
"Arthur?" He heard Merlin. But Arthur couldn't face him right now, he couldn't do anything until he knew what to do, and right now all that he felt was chaos.
"I'm here." Arthur said, quickly drying himself with the towel and finding new clothes that Morris had prepared for him and thrown over the changing screen. "I'm getting dressed, so... stay where you are, please."
Merlin laughed at that. "Don't worry." He answered and it made Arthur think – did he already see him naked after he stepped out of the tub or was he just overthinking everything? Arthur dismissed the thought with a sigh.
"I'm sorry," he said as he left the privacy of his changing screen and stepped inside his chambers. Merlin was sitting on his bed, with his wings high above his shoulders and a little smile on his face.
Arthur couldn't help but gasp silently. Just looking at those wings made him nervous.
"Why are you apologizing?" Merlin asked, confusing Arthur a little until he remembered what he wanted to say.
He looked down for a second and then sighed again. "I need to take care of something, but I'll be right back, I promise."
"Where are you going?" Merlin asked with a sad frown on his face. It made Arthur want to stay so badly that he had to turn away so he wouldn't change his mind.
"To see how Morgana's doing." He quickly made up a lie, hoping Merlin wouldn't try to read his thoughts. "She's been through a lot with the poison and I haven't seen her all day, so-"
"I understand." Merlin smiled and Arthur dared to glance at him. "Go to see if she's alright. I'll wait here for you." He smiled again, making Arthur smile in return.
"Thanks."
Then Arthur quickly went to the door and left his chambers, walking away. There was no one in the halls, so he let out a big sigh and leaned against the cold wall, closing his eyes.
How could he have let this happen? How could he have fallen in love so quickly? He'd never fallen in love before. He's never even properly thought about it, only when his father brought up the conversation over their family dinner. He always wanted him to marry some princess for the sake of a friendship with another kingdom. But Arthur didn't find that idea appealing, he's always wanted to marry for love.
And here it was. Absolutely unexpected, without any warning whatsoever. It was just there and it was up to him what to do about it. And up to Merlin of course, which arose another question – he was an angel, so could he feel love? Did he feel the same? Could it happen so fast for both of them? Didn't he say it was forbidden to fall in love with a human?
When Arthur heard footsteps, he quickly started walking again, trying to act as if nothing was bothering him and he was simply walking through the castle, wasting time. Thank god his father didn't need him for any council meetings, but to be honest... maybe it would help clear his mind.
As he continued walking, he noticed that the footsteps he heard belonged to a servant girl who was walking towards him. It was Gwen, lady Morgana's maid.
"My lord," she bowed quickly when she passed him, but Arthur stopped her with his hand on her forearm.
"How is she?" He asked. It might have been a lie that he was leaving his chambers with the intention of paying a visit to his sister, but he still cared about her. And he might even visit her after all, to see how she was doing.
"Lady Morgana is doing much better," she smiled up at him as he let go of her forearm. She was carrying a basket full of laundry, mostly Morgana's dresses as Arthur noticed. "She's no longer bedridden and she wanted to go into Lower Town today, but Gaius and the king both agree she should stay in her chambers for at least another few days."
Arthur smiled slightly. "That's good to hear. That she's doing well." He told her. "Thank you."
Gwen bowed again and smiled at him, leaving him alone again in the empty cold hall of Camelot.
Arthur decided to go see Morgana after all. She might want a distraction from her little prison which her chambers have become for her. And he needed a distraction from his feelings because if Merlin was leaving soon, he couldn't act on them. He couldn't do anything and knowing that while being in the same room with him was agonizing.
He knocked and didn't wait for a response when he opened the door.
"Gwen?" He heard Morgana ask from the other side of the room.
"It's me." He smiled as he closed the door again and went farther inside the room.
"Arthur?" He heard Morgana's reply as she emerged from behind the corner. She looked a little surprised, but as soon as she saw him, she smirked and put her hands on her hips. "So you didn't come this morning at all, but now that it's evening you remembered you've got a sister who had been poisoned?"
Arthur couldn't help but smile at that. "I'm sorry, I should have come sooner." He told her. She looked much better, her skin wasn't as pale as before and she was wearing her blue silk dress, but her eyes still looked a little tired.
"Gwen told me you were on a hunting trip." Morgana smirked before he could say anything else. "Still think that killing animals is the best way to relax?"
"We didn't manage to kill anything today." Arthur rolled his eyes. When she sat down on her bed and gestured for him to sit next to her, he didn't hesitate.
"Well, I'm glad for that." Morgana smiled.
"Are you feeling better? I met your maid on my way here, she said you were." Arthur asked, getting back to the point of his visit.
Morgana smiled at that again, but then her smile disappeared. "I am feeling better, but the poison... I don't know what it was. Gaius said he doesn't know either, but it must have been really strong."
"You almost died," Arthur frowned.
"I didn't though." She smiled again. "Thanks to you."
"You already thanked me." Arthur smirked.
"I know, I'm not thanking you again." She chuckled slightly. "And what's troubling you?" She gave him another question. It was unexpected to be honest. Arthur frowned at first, but when he saw how Morgana was looking at him... it was as if she saw right through him. They grew up together after all, but he was sure he did a great job at hiding how conflicted he felt.
"It's nothing I should bother you with." He admitted at last, but Morgana only narrowed her eyes.
"Arthur, I know you." She said. Her voice was quieter and Arthur knew that that meant she was serious. "If you're not willing to tell me, then I'm going to have to find out myself and that means that I'll be in your chambers while you're not there and we both know you don't like that."
"You can't leave your own chambers for at least a week." He reminded her.
"Don't try to change the subject." She pursed her lips. "Now, tell me. What's the matter?"
Arthur sighed and closed his eyes briefly. He didn't look her in the eyes when he opened them again.
"Is it that serious?" She asked with a worried frown.
"I don't know, maybe." He admitted. He considered telling her everything. But then he remembered that he'd promised Merlin he wouldn't tell about him to anyone. He couldn't tell Morgana that he had an actual angel in his chambers, waiting for him. But he had to tell her at least something because if Merlin was still in Camelot the next few days and Morgana went searching through his chambers... well, that wouldn't end up well.
"What happened?" She asked again when he wasn't answering.
"First of all, I would appreciate if you told my father none of this." He looked at her and after she nodded, he finally gathered the courage to tell her about his problems. He didn't normally do that, he didn't talk to anyone about his feelings, but he needed some advice. "I... met someone."
"Oh my god, Arthur!" Morgana smiled, but when Arthur didn't look like he wanted to be smiling, she frowned at him. "She's a servant, isn't she? I can see now why you don't want Uther to know."
"No, it's... well..." Arthur sighed. This sharing feelings thing was harder than he thought it would be. "He's not exactly the same class as we are, that's true." When Arthur thought about it, it was probably the other way around. Arthur was like a peasant compared to Merlin, he was a mere human, a mortal compared to an angel.
"He?" Morgana asked. He didn't realize he didn't say she and when Morgana pointed that out, he could feel the panic inside of him again. And he had an inkling that she could see that too. "Hey, that's okay." She assured him.
He didn't want to answer that, so he continued with the issue. "The point is... he's leaving soon. And I don't even know if he feels the same way. I don't know what to do, Morgana. If he leaves tomorrow and I'll have done nothing, I might regret it for the rest of my life, but what if he doesn't feel the same way? What if-"
"It's always better to at least try something, you know?" She interrupted him. "Don't stress about what if's and tell him, just to be sure. What if he feels the same way, but thinks that you don't?"
"I haven't thought about that..." Arthur frowned. It was only now that he realized Morgana's hand was on his shoulder. He was lucky to have her as a sister.
"See? You don't think about many things." She said with a smile on her face, but it only made Arthur roll his eyes.
"Thanks." He stood up again and smiled down at her.
"You're welcome." She nodded. "And feel free to come here again if you need to talk-"
"I won't." Arthur turned around, rolling his eyes again. "Don't tell anyone I was here."
"You're hopeless," Morgana sighed as she stood up. Arthur knew she didn't take what he said seriously, he was just... not comfortable with talking so much about his own feelings. It was weird. He was a warrior. A knight.
"Thanks." He sighed as he was leaving.
"Arthur?" He heard her call again as he was opening the door. He turned to look at her and she smiled, "I hope he feels the same way."
"Thanks." Arthur smiled, this time meaning it.
When he was leaving her chambers, he felt better. Not relieved, he knew the problem with his heart was still there and that he would need to talk to Merlin about it, especially if falling in love with him meant breaking the rules, but for now he only wished to see his face again.
TBC
I hope you liked it! Maybe you feel like they realized they were in love a little bit too soon, they've only known each other for barely a day after all, and I agree, but this was originally written as a oneshot (I so failed in that), and if I'd realized this would be so long, I would have planned out each chapter differently and made them longer with more plot and I'd give them more time, but as I said, this was written as a oneshot and when I realized I'd need to divide it into chapters, it was simply too late :/ I had to rewrite this entire chapter already (originally, they were supposed to have their first kiss here, while Arthur was still sitting in the bath... but I felt like that might quickly escalate into something I didn't really want to write, so I backed out :P ). I hope you still like it! There are only two more chapters to post, so get ready for that! :)
Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think, thanks! :)
