A/N: Guess who wrote a decent sized chapter for once? ME! Although, it was written in two separate days, so hopefully the continuity of the writing is at least somewhat decent. Also, I apologize in advance for any mistakes made. I tend to only edit slightly, and I don't have a beta reader as of now.

Currently, the story is going by a day to day basis, but hopefully soon I'll find enough footing to start writing with small time jumps.

I won't say much else, just, as always, please remember to review because it really does make my day. Even if the reviews are critiques. (As long as you're not an asshole about it. Remember that I am in fact nothing but human. I am not, unlike Shonda, a super woman.)

And if you want to hear daily rants about my life, follow me fancy_phalanges on Twitter (please?)

Happy reading,
K.

P.S. DO NOT TELL ME THAT YOU WANT CALLIE OR ARIZONA TO END UP WITH SOMEONE ELSE. THIS IS NOT THAT KIND OF STORY. Thanks :)


There's something strange about waking up the day after reconciliation. It's almost as if two people go to bed allowing themselves to go back to the lives they once had, but once the sun starts streaming in their eyes, they wonder how they were so naïve to think that it would be that easy. It takes a little while to understand that, with something as simple as an argument or something as terrible as cheating, your world must shift a little. Because things simply can't be the same. You fall even a little out of sync, and you might just have to start over.

Callie groaned as she stretched on her comfortable bed, joints popping quietly in the silent room. She sat up, rubbed her face in her hand, and pushed a hand through her wild hair in a vain attempt to tame the unruly mess. She knew she looked like shit, but she felt good. She felt cleansed of all her anger, all the hatred she had for her wife, because she knew that the healing process was finally happening, despite it being a year too late. The hurt was still there, but that was to be expected. Callie smiled at the wall in front of her. Today could be a good day.

On the other side of the apartment, however, a blonde woman felt something completely different. Arizona had no clue how to face her wife after what had happened last night. She'd…she had cried in front of Callie- on Callie- when she was supposed to be apologizing! When she was supposed to be strong, and firm in her knowledge of what she wanted. Yet it took one mention of actually talking about it with a professional, and she was a blubbering mess. It was terrible. She felt the need to run. Instead, she got up and began to make breakfast.

When Callie heard the sound of pots and pans clinking in the kitchen, she decided to get a head start on the day. Luckily for them, Callie was still technically on vacation time and she assumed Arizona didn't have to work soon either; by the sounds of it, she was starting on a very complicated breakfast. Which worried her slightly, because Arizona rarely ever made her anything more difficult than toast with butter- but she decided to let it go and get in the shower in order to give Arizona space as she cooked.

By the time she'd rubbed a towel through her hair well enough to get most of the moisture out of it and put on some loose sweatpants and a tank top, Arizona had just finished the meal. Callie walked into the kitchen only to be overwhelmed with the sights that surrounded her. There were omelets, chocolate chip pancakes, toast, bacon, and fresh strawberries laying on the countertop, and orange juice in two glasses. Arizona was facing away from the door to the bedroom as she finished cleaning off the stove. "Wow…" Callie softly spoke, causing her wife to jump and spin around.

"Oh hey, Callie. I didn't see you there." Arizona couldn't miss the smile that spread across Callie's face, but hers in return seemed forced. "I, uh, I made breakfast."

"I see that." Callie didn't move from the spot she was in, still staring with that strange smile.

"Okay…What?" Arizona asked cautiously, washing her hands after putting away the cleaning supplies. "Why are you smiling like that?"

"…No reason." Callie finally sat down in the seat closest to the bedroom, watching Arizona as she took a seat next to her. The uncomfortable look Arizona sported along with the closeness of the woman who cheated on her sobered Callie's good mood in a second. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." Arizona stabbed at a strawberry and shoved it in her mouth, chewing viciously.

"Remember what you said about opening up to me..?" Callie asked quietly. She tried not to get upset by the way Arizona was acting… but she was promised romance, and sweeping her off her feet, and attempting to receive forgiveness, and instead she was experiencing the cold shoulder, if you didn't count the breakfast.

Arizona sighed, and seemed to mull it over before turning her bar stool towards Callie. "I'm sorry. I'm really trying."

"I know," Callie reassured, although she wasn't completely sure of it herself. "Just talk to me, okay?" She reached out for Arizona's hand, but at the last second pulled back. The previous night it was okay, holding Arizona in her arms, but now it just felt strange again, as if she were reaching out for a woman that was already gone. And she hated herself for thinking that, despite the understandable reasons why she would feel that way. Instead, she patted Arizona gently on the arm.

The barely friendly touch stung, because Arizona knew that there were moments in their past where Callie wouldn't have hesitated to lean over and kiss her on the side of her head when she was upset. Still, she knew she had to start talking. "I didn't mean to cry last night. I mean….therapy is a good idea, I guess. It's just scary, and I don't think I'm ready to start that yet. I like to deal with things on my own.

"I was so sure that I could make it through a conversation with you without bursting into tears. And then I couldn't. So then I kind of just wanted to run," she admitted.

Callie had been nodding along until those last few words, where she froze- something that Arizona noticed even out of the corner of her eye. So she added quickly, before any misunderstandings could take place, "But I didn't. I made breakfast instead."

"I see that…" Callie waved her hand across the expanse of food they would never finish. "Does…does cooking help to calm you?"

"I guess it sort of does." Arizona shrugged. "I'm not very good at it though…"

Callie was unsure of the promise she was about to make, but she didn't hold it back. "How about I teach you how to make some of my chicken piccata sometime?"

The overwhelming smile she finally received in return was worth the worry, despite the pang in Callie's chest when it appeared. "I'd love that, Calliope."

For the rest of breakfast they sat in silence, but for once it wasn't stifling. Instead, they felt the beginning of something they were both willing to work on. And that was the most they could hope for that day. The rest would have to come later.

Xx

It was only after breakfast, when Arizona and Callie found themselves on each end of the couch, completely stuffed and unsure of what would come next, that the awkwardness began.

A thought occurred to Callie. "Hey, you said Sofia was having a sleep over at Zola's, right?"

"Meredith is bringing her to the daycare today when she gets in. She told me that either she or Derek would drop her off here after they leave the hospital, whoever's first," Arizona responded, already knowing that Callie's innocent question was actually filled with worry.

"Oh. Okay," Callie responded.

Neither knew what to say after that, Arizona feeling as if Callie didn't trust her with their daughter anymore, and Callie feeling almost guilty for asking the way she did, knowing that Arizona could see right through her.

Luckily, it turned out that Arizona was needed for a consult at around noon, and she left in a hurry after throwing on some clothes. Despite the decent morning the couple had, Callie was almost glad that her wife had left for the day. It gave her time to think more about the situation she had put herself in.

There was something about Arizona that made Callie want to forgive her, and as much as Callie had tried to pull away, she couldn't. She didn't want to admit it, but Arizona was different from George. They had something that could have lasted forever. It wasn't Arizona's fault that the plane had crashed, just as much as it wasn't Callie's fault that the only chance of saving her was amputation, but it didn't mean that anything Arizona had done afterwards in spite of Callie was okay.

And Callie knew that, she did. But it was something that she always tried to push into the back of her head, because it was easier to blame PTSD for everything, than it was to blame the woman that she had loved. And Arizona was still that woman, stuck somewhere in between all of the mess inside of her head. There were times in the past year when she looked her wife in the eyes and knew it was the old Arizona she was seeing, but there were also times when she seemed like a completely different person. Callie hoped more than anything that the therapy would help to change that.

The bright light of the clock in the living room caught Callie's eye and pulled her to the present. She hadn't realized that over an hour had passed since Arizona had left, and knew it was pointless to sit around all day and wait for her to come home. She wouldn't allow herself to be that person. She had to start being independent, at least in some ways.

So Callie pushed away her brooding thoughts, and decided to do some laundry. Most of her good clothes had lain unwashed in the bag she took to Addison's, along with what had been on the floor before she left for LA. She knew from scavenging her drawers this morning that she was running out of clean underwear and jeans, which were two necessities she couldn't go without. After throwing the clothes in the washing machine quickly, Callie grabbed her wallet, and walked out the door of her apartment without a second thought. A trip to the mall to buy a new phone was exactly what she needed to pass the time.

Xx

Arizona pulled into a parking spot at her apartment building with a smile on her face. The consult had gone well, and she was actually able to send a child home today with strict rules for her parents to follow to keep her healthy in the upcoming weeks. It was something she'd always loved to do- finally, after days or weeks or even months of seeing the same parents in the hospital, she was able to tell them that their child would be okay. It was the best feeling, next to saving a child on the surgical table, and it left her on cloud 9 as she made her way home.

Arizona was still unsure if she and Callie were considered to be on good terms, but she was excited to tell her wife of the medical miracle that had happened that day, knowing if nothing else, Callie's doctor side would be interested in the news. She couldn't help bouncing slightly as the elevator made its way up to the apartment, and opened the door to apartment 502 with one quick motion.

"Callie! Guess what. Today was so amazing, you remember that adorable little girl Maddy that came in a month ago with-" she stopped, looking around the empty apartment. "Callie?" she questioned, pushing down the panic that arose inside of her when she didn't spot her wife in the living room or kitchen. But when she peeked in the other rooms, she found them equally as vacant. "Calliope!" she yelled, her worry getting the best of her. It was when she saw that the suitcase Callie had brought to LA was gone, that her heart seemed to drop in her chest. Arizona wildly pulled open every drawer on Callie's side of the dresser only to find that they were all close to empty.

Arizona knew what must have happened. Callie had realized that coming back was a mistake. And now Arizona was going to be alone. It was one of her biggest fears, and it was coming true. Callie was gone.

Unsure of what to do, the blonde simply crawled into the bed that she and Callie had once shared, holding the pillow that Callie had used the night before and breathing in the scent of her wife. That was all she needed for the tears to start flowing, and she buried herself deep into the sheets. "I'm so sorry…" she wept. "I'm sorry…" And then suddenly, the walls in front of her morphed into the forest, sounds of screaming and smells of burning plastic surrounding her senses.

Xx

Callie hadn't expected to spend as long as she had at the mall, but after the purchase of her new phone she decided that she deserved a shopping spree. So four hours later, the Latina finally made her way into her bedroom with bags on each arm and her keys between her teeth, not thinking much of it when she didn't see her wife on the way in- she must have stayed at the hospital, Callie assumed.

The sight before her when she walked through the door, however, made her drop all of the bags on the ground with a thud, the keys landing safely on top of one of the larger black bags. Arizona was curled up in the center of the bed, tears rolling down her cheeks as she gripped onto one of the pillows. Her eyes were wide open, but she didn't seem to be seeing anything.

"Arizona?" Callie asked quietly, but received no response in return. "Shit…" She'd seen Arizona wake up in a cold sweat from nightmares before, but she'd never had a full blown flashback until that moment. It was something Callie had read about, but had never worked with, and she found herself unsure of what to do. So she did the only thing she wanted to do, and climbed into bed behind her wife, who was shaking slightly, and wrapped her arms around her gently.

Arizona flinched, but didn't seem to notice what was happening. Callie pushed back the blonde hair that was plastered to the smaller woman's face, and began to whisper to her. "Arizona, it's okay. It's me, Callie. I'm right here….Please come back to me." Callie felt slightly ridiculous, talking to someone who probably couldn't even process the things she said. "Do you know where we are? We're in our bedroom. It's… nice in here. We used to use it as an escape after the crash, remember. The first time, you asked me if I wanted to go to the beach… I had no clue what you were saying." She let out a breath of laughter. "But, you know what? It's probably the best vacation I've ever had."

Callie pushed Arizona onto her back and leaned on one arm to hover above her. She stroked her wife's porcelain face with her hand. "Escape with me, Arizona. Please?" Callie begged. For a few moments, nothing seemed to happen, but finally Arizona's eyes seemed to focus in on Callie's face. The blonde, unsure of what had happened, yelled and thrashed around for a few seconds, but Callie just pulled her closer until all movements stopped except the shaking and deep breathing that Arizona seemed unable to control.

"Callie?" she finally asked when she had calmed down slightly. "I…I thought you left."

"Why did you think that?" Callie frowned, unsure of where her wife had gotten that idea. Arizona didn't respond, however, still trying to process what had happened, so she looked around the room for clues instead, and saw for the first time the drawers that were pulled open haphazardly. "Oh, Arizona, no… I didn't leave. I just did the laundry," she laughed awkwardly.

"Where did you go then?" Arizona's eyes shimmered, feeling as if she was being laughed at.

"To the mall, to buy a new phone…" Callie trailed off, unsure of how to feel about the situation. "And then I kind of got sidetracked," she added, pointing to the bags of clothes and accessories on the ground.

"….Oh," Arizona mumbled. She tried to pull away from Callie, feeling beyond embarrassed that she had acted out so quickly. But Callie would have none of that, and grasped her hand.

"Hey. It's not your fault, okay? It was a dumb move; I should have left a note or something. I just wasn't thinking. But I promise I'd tell you if I decided to leave, okay? I won't just disappear on you."

"Okay," Arizona responded with a sigh of relief.

When Callie was sure that the blonde wasn't going to jump out of bed the second she had the chance, she untangled herself from her, just realizing how close they had gotten during Arizona's flashback. She sat up, leaning against the headboard while Arizona moved to do the same.

"…Was that a flashback?" Arizona asked quietly.

Callie didn't want to upset her, but the truth was always the best. "Yeah. It was."

"That's never happened before."

"I know."

No one said a word, Callie waiting until Arizona was ready to talk, and Arizona attempting to sort through her thoughts.

Finally, a quiet voice caused the darker woman to glance at her wife. "Can you help me find a therapist? I want to get started as soon as possible."

For a second, Callie wasn't sure she heard her right. But when Arizona asked, "Callie?" in the same soft, scared voice, she knew she hadn't misheard. And that, despite what had happened, made her hopeful that Arizona was finally trying to get better. For herself, and no one else.

Xx