A/N: OOPS…I JUST REALIZED THAT I REALLY MESSED UP. I RECALL THAT I HAD SOMEHOW DUPLICATED THIS CAHPTER OR WELL IN ADVERTANTLY HAD THE NEXT CHAPTER AS THIS ONE…I THOUGHT THAT I HAD FIXED IT BUT OBVIOUSLY I DID NOT…I ONLY REALIZD THIS BECAUSE I NEEDED SOMETHING FROM THIS CHAPTER TO GO WITH CHAPTER 92 AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW…CHATPER 72&73 WERE THE SAME…THIS IS THE CORRECT CHAPTER 72…MY SINCEREST AND DEEPEST APOLOGIES.
CHAPTER SEVENTY TWO
Harry was walking to the Master bedroom in between Remus and Sirius with Ginny in front of him holding her hands and his arms were wrapped around her waist. Hermione, Ron and the twins followed nervously and worried about how Harry and Sirius were going to react to this and deal with it.
Remus walked into the Master bedroom first, alone.
"Where is he?" Asked Lily from the portrait.
"He's just outside the door…Harry brought or is bringing everyone with him. You must know that it has been hard on him…without you, without both of you. He might not say much if anything at all this time, but I'm sure in a matter of time he'll be in here daily…as often as possible."
Remus went back to the door, stepped out of the room and looked at Harry.
"You don't have to do this right now."
Harry looked at Remus, smiled weakly and gestured for Remus to lead the way. Remus turned around and walked back into the room, but this time was followed by the rest.
Both occupants of the portrait gasped when they saw Harry and Ginny.
Harry tightened his hold on Ginny. Ginny turned her head in Harry's direction and softly said, "Harry it's okay. You'll be all right."
Harry's expression softened and he relaxed his hold on Ginny, to some degree.
"Harry dear, how are you?" Lily asked softly.
"Good." Harry managed to choke out.
Ginny squeezed Harry's hands just enough for him to feel the pressure. Harry exhaled and attempted to control his breathing. The fast, pounding of his heart was a different story.
"Padfoot my friend, you've done well in the short time you've had Harry in your care."
"Thank you James."
"You better not have been blaming yourself…it was…it is not your fault. If you had been Secret Keeper…we'd all be dead…and if…Harry would have had no…Molly and Arthur…it would not have been right…of course they would have taken Harry in with open, loving arms, but…now, if you have been blaming yourself, you better stop. We don't blame you…no one does." Lily said kindly but firmly.
Sirius was having a difficult time holding it together. His eyes welled up and a few tears rolled down his face.
"I told you they wouldn't." Harry said after turning his head to look at Sirius.
"I am curious…why is it that it has only been about a year that...?" Asked James.
"Because no one knew of the change in Secret Keeper and every thought that Sirius was the one that betrayed us. Sirius went to go after the scoundrel, shortly after Sirius found him…well, it appeared as though Sirius had murdered a dozen Muggles and obliterated the vermin only leaving a finger behind. It was the bast…the rat that Murdered the Muggles, he cut off his own finger before transforming and scuttled off down a drain…Sirius was never questioned… no trial…nothing…he was sent straight to Azkaban." Harry briefly explained in a rush.
The occupants of the portrait were devastated, shocked and had expressions of disbelief.
"I know you're both wondering…it was Harry who made it so Sirius was released. Although the Minister of Magic took quite a while to actually release Sirius, too long if you ask me. The Minister had no choice but put a rush on releasing Sirius as the story hit the Daily Profit." Remus further explained.
"How?" Asked James.
"That will be for Harry to explain at some point, when he is ready." Remus replied.
"Ruby? Where's Ruby? I thought for sure that she'd be here. Sirius…" Lily inquired.
"She died…several years ago. I was in Azkaban at the time…I didn't know until recently."
"I'm so sorry Sirius." Lily said full of emotion.
"She died about twelve years ago…it may have been…it…" Sirius stumbled as he became choked up.
"I don't mean to be insensitive…but how did she die?" James asked cautiously.
"She was ill and child birth was too much." Sirius replied.
"Sirius just spit it out would you? The less vague you are the less interruptions with questions." Remus said a tiny bit annoyed.
"I asked Ruby to marry me…"
"I knew you would. James always, annoyingly, rolled his eyes every time I would voice my suspicion that you were at least thinking about it." Lily couldn't help interrupting.
"In my defense, Sirius, you…let me say didn't strike me as the type for marriage." James attempted to defend himself.
"Would the two of stop interrupting so he can tell you?" Remus chided.
"Ruby said 'yes', that night we got a little carried away…"
"That's one way of putting it." James mumbled.
"James! There are children around…" Lily reprimanded.
"Lily, I'm sure…"
"James Potter!"
"Okay, I'll shut up."
"I left to tell the two of you and to try to spring both of you so that the four of us could celebrate…."
"Sirius that would have been too dangerous." Lily said shocked that her dear friend would have risked such a thing, even with it being a wonderful thing.
"Yes…well, Ruby…I could never tell her 'no'…if we'd managed to spring both of you, I'm sure that for one evening Remus would have been able to keep an eye on Harry…no one possibly would have been home…"
"Oh, Sirius…if you and Ruby had managed such a feat…it doesn't necessarily mean that anything would have changed...the outcome would have been the same even if just a few days later…or it could have been much worse…more deaths…sure we would have known that Peter…"
"Lily, I'm so sorry…we all should have listened to you. You were feeling really uneasy about…"
"James quite…what's done is done. Though I felt uneasy and terrified…I was starting to think that I was overreacting a bit…being a bit paranoid. Oh sorry Sirius…please go on."
"Obviously by the time I arrived at your house…Voldemort had already been there. Harry summed up what happened after I realized that Peter was the betrayer. So, I have a nearly twelve year old daughter…"
"You…a daughter…I..."
"Yes, James, I know it's a bit of a shock and one hell of a surprise…my daughter's name is Violet…"
"How did you find out?" Lily asked genuinely curious and intrigued.
"Sirius declared himself as the Head of the House of Black and the Black family tree tapestry changed. Ruby and Violet appeared on it…as well as others or well more like reappeared…it was weird the tapestry…it repaired itself…any way, Ginny and I suspected…well thought that this girl at school might be…at the beginning of the school year the sorting hat sorted a Violet Black into Gryffindor. So when I say her name on the tapestry…well, Violet came up to me and Ginny and we had all that we needed to know without a doubt that she is Sirius' daughter."
"Oh my." Said Lily.
"In a few days Violet and Marie will be moving in with me and Harry. Marie, Ruby's best friend since birth, was with Ruby when she gave birth and has been caring for my daughter since."
"Hold on. You declared yourself as…no…" James stuttered.
"Yes, James, I live in my parent's house…well, it's mine now."
"I would have never imagined that you'd want to…"
" Nor I, James. I was pissed and it was the only way to right some wrongs. Anyway, Marie is moving in for two reasons; she and Violet have a mother/daughter relationship and I refuse to separate them…it wouldn't be right. Secondly, Marie's health is seriously grave and this is another reason why I refuse to separate them. Marie is a Muggle and as the Muggles call them, Doctors have no clue as to what is wrong with her other than her health has deteriorated so much that her days are numbered but they won't give any indication as to how much time that is."
"Well surely St. Mungo's would help. Have they tried or would…"
"I've been wondering about that Lily. It's just that it doesn't seem to have been a Magical injury or curse or anything like that."
"Marie was with Ruby though Sirius. There could be something the healers can do. It would be worth a try…of course as long as Marie agrees."
"Of course James. I have been thinking about bringing it up and I think I will once they have moved in. It's a good thing I hadn't yet offered Petunia and Dudley to move in. I still could, it would be a bit cramped…what am I saying it would be really cramped."
"Wait…Ruby knew we changed Secret Keeper, she was there when the Fidelius Charm…"
"The only thing that makes sense is that Ruby fled to safety when I didn't return. I am sure it was horrible in that area. She would have known that I would find her as soon as I could. I should have brought her with me…"
"Sirius please stop doing that. Anyway, Violet said something about a letter to you and her from her mum…maybe the letter explains what happened." Harry suggested.
"So, Harry what is this discovery you and your friends found?" Lily asked to change the topic from Ruby to something lighter for Sirius' sake.
Before anyone could say anything or react in any way Muri popped up in the room
"Sorry Master Harry to interrupt, but Mr. and Mrs. Weasley…they down stairs, done moving."
"No. I don't want to go." Ron whined.
Everyone laughed at Ron's response. The vividly remembered his fuss about not going to the new house while the move was going on.
"Muri, would you please bring Molly and Arthur up here." Sirius requested as he had a thought.
"Yes sir. Muri bring them now." And with a ,'crack' she was gone.
"Harry…"
"It's fine Sirius."
Muri returned with Molly and Arthur, who were a little confused. They did not understand why they would be brought up to the Master bedroom and did not understand why everyone was in the room.
"What is…oh." Molly said as she saw the portrait of Lily and James on the way beaming.
"Molly, love, what is it…oh." Arthur said as he too saw the portrait.
"Arthur, Molly how are the two of you?" Asked the occupants of the portrait.
"G-good." Molly stammered as a tear spilled from an eye and slid down her face.
Sirius faced the portrait and said, "I'll tell you the whole story behind them moving…in time I will as there is plenty of it. I will say that it has to do with righting a wrong."
"Mum, do we have to leave?" Ron asked whining.
"Yes, Ron. You all can come back in a week or so. Violet and Marie will be moving in at Sirius'…they should be able to get settled in and spend time with Sirius and Harry. I'm sure for a while that Violet, Marie and Sirius will spend some time together, at that point Harry you are welcome to come to the house or spend time here with Remus and Hermione."
"I would be fine with Harry being here or with you and Arthur." Sirius said agreeing with Molly.
"I would like to spend more time looking around the new house. We really didn't get that much time before." Harry said.
"Can't we stay a little longer? There's still a few days until Violet and Marie move into Sirius'." Ron whined.
"No. Violet and Marie moving in was set up for a later date so that your father and I could get our things moved over. We are done with that so Sirius if he so choses to can let Violet and Marie know that they can move in sooner than planned. Come on, it's time to go." Molly said exasperated.
"But we could help Sirius get his place ready for Violet and Marie." Ron said trying to plead his case so they could stay a little longer.
"Ron, Ginny come and hold on to my hands." Arthur said firmly.
Harry reluctantly let go of Ginny. Ginny and Ron both slowly walked over to their father and each grasped a hand. The twins didn't argue or try to put up a fuss or resist and each quickly grasped a hand of their mother's. A second later the Weasley's were gone.
"Where'd Harry go? You don't think he slipped along with Molly and Arthur do you?" Asked Remus.
"No, I don't think he did that. I have an idea…" Sirius said and left the room.
Sirius first checked the library, he had a feeling that it was just too overwhelming for Harry, especially without Ginny. Sure enough there was Harry sitting in an armchair in a corner as far as he could be.
"Harry."
"Sirius?"
"Are you all right?"
"I…I'm fine."
"Harry…"
"I…I can't right now…not without…just….I can't...I feel horrible about it…but…"
"It's okay Harry. There's loads of time. You didn't get any time to prepare for…it'll be okay. Don't beat yourself up over it…"
"Sirius is right Harry." Hermione said announcing her presence was still in the Manor.
"I can't promise anything. I just…it's a portrait of them and I can't even…"
"Well, try not to beat yourself up over it. There is a lot going on in your life right now, a lot that you are discovering that you never knew was there, that you never knew existed…it's a lot to deal with. And personally I think that you are doing a remarkable job of trying to deal with everything. Trust me Harry, in time you'll be able to be in the Master bedroom and have lengthy chats…alone even."
"Thanks Hermione, but how can you be so sure that I will?"
"Because you are a strong and powerful wizard. I know you are, look at what you have been through, what you have discovered. Just know that in time it won't be quite so overwhelming and you will be able to prepare yourself for going into the Master bedroom with other's and talk and alone. I can't really explain it but I just know. Trust me."
"I don't know how or why, but I am the luckiest person alive."
"Why do you say that?" Sirius asked curiously.
"I have you, Moony, my Aunt, my cousin, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Fred, George, Ron and the two female friends on the planet in my life. Ginny she…well you both know what she can do. And Hermione…you have the ability to get me to feel better about myself and to stop being so hard on myself and dozen other things. You also can get me to see a different perspective and sometimes you are able to get me to understand you logic…maybe not all the time or with everything but still you can. I do trust you and believe what you said about in time what I will be able to do. I do admit that I didn't before but I do now so thank…whoa…"
"What?" Asked Hermione she was concerned from the tone of Harry's voice plus the expression on his and Sirius' faces.
"You're…glowing. I mean glowing…like…like I have. You have a warm yellow glow around you. "
"What? I don't…oh shit…what the bloody hell? What? Why?"
Harry looked at Hermione, eyes wide open, an eyebrow raised and a smile on his face. He was thinking of the possibility of Hermione being a half-blood witch and actually family.
"I know what you are thinking Harry. No…it can't be…how could it?"
"How do you explain your glow then?"
"I don't…I can't…"
"It could very well mean…"
"Harry don't. Please don't."
"Hermione…"
"Like I have said it wouldn't be a bad thing, just…proof and then maybe I'll…"
"Well we did find the files we needed…we could go to Aviemore and check out the Granger house."
"And have to listen to the rest of our friends bitch about not being there… no thank you."
"There's nothing to be afraid of…"
"I'm not afraid or scared…well, maybe a little…I don't want to get my hopes up or convince myself to just face a huge embarrassing let down."
"Okay, so we wait for the other's to go to Aviemore and see if…I won't say it. So what do you suggest we do in the meantime?"
"We could put the study back to how it was or try to make it look like a study for once in a really long time."
"Okay, but what do we do with the boxes and everything that came out of the boxes?"
"We carefully put everything back in the boxes…in an organized fashion that is. Once we have done that we can move all the boxes in here. There is a ton of room in here and it's a library what better place is there? The boxes and the contents of the boxes will be safe in here, protected…"
"Okay. Sounds good to me."
"Really? Just like that. No fight or argument?"
"Yeah."
Harry and Hermione stood up and walked out of the library. Sirius returned to the Master bedroom to assure Remus that Harry was still in the Manor and to hopefully explain what happened and what was going on with Harry right. Then he felt foolish for being worried about offending the occupants of a portrait.
Hermione and Harry started organizing everything that came out of the boxes and then refilled the boxes, stacking them up as they filled one. They then levitated the boxes and placed the boxes in a corner but so that the boxes wouldn't block any of the book shelves.
Later that evening Harry and Sirius let Muri and Sparky know that they wouldn't be there for dinner but would return soon that in a few days Remus and Hermione would be back there and eventually Harry. Sirius also let Muri and Sparky know that the next time he shows up he will have at least one other with him if not two. Harry and Sirius then met Hermione and Remus in the entry to head back to Grimmuald Place to ready two rooms.
"I can take Hermione. That is Hermione, if you feel comfortable with that."
"No offense Harry but…"
"No offense taken. You are after all used to apparating side-a-long with Moony."
Moments later the four of them were standing in the living room at Grimmuald Place.
"Master's, Miss. Granger and Mr. Lupin, you's all back." Kreacher croaked happily.
"Sorry we were gone so long Kreacher." Sirius sincerely apologized.
"Kreacher make dinner?"
"Yes, that would be great." Sirius replied.
"Kreacher do that now."
"Oh, Kreacher over the next few days we need to ready two rooms. There will be two more living here. My daughter and for all intensive purposes her mother, the only mother figure she knows as the woman has been caring for her since she was born."
"Yes Master." Kreacher bowed and disappeared to make dinner.
The following morning Sirius wondered around upstairs looking through the empty rooms. He then decided that Marie will get his mother's old room and Violet will get the room right across the hall. Once Harry and Hermione had breakfast they joined Sirius, Remus and Kreacher to fix up the two rooms. It did not take quite as long as Sirius had thought it would, by that night they were finished improving the rooms, particularly Sirius' mother's old room. It was pretty late when they finished and all were exhausted. All were relieved that it was finally done. Kreacher retired to his room or at least what he had claimed as his room. The wizards and witch relaxed in the living room all enjoying a little bit of fire whiskey, or well at least only a little bit for Harry and Hermione. Sirius and Remus insisted they have a drink or two as they both had deserved it. Several minutes later all four retired to his or her respective rooms, showered got ready for bed and went to bed.
As Sirius got comfortable he decided that in the morning he was going to visit Marie and Violet and with any luck they will be ready and willing to move in then. He couldn't wait much longer to have his daughter in his home and to get to know her. Though he knew he could really use the next day to recuperate from the cleaning of two rooms but that could honestly wait. He wanted Violet there as well as Marie and he was going to bring up to Marie about seeing if St. Mungo's Healers could anything for her.
Meanwhile: in another area of England
A tawny owl flew into a small house through an open window in the kitchen. The owl landed on the knee of the wizard that lived in the house. The wizard was asleep in a ratty armchair in the tiny living room. The owl became inpatient and angry that the wizard had not acknowledged it. The owl loudly hooted and nipped the wizard. The sleeping wizard woke with a start.
"What the fuck!" Yelled Severus Snape as he saw the owl and clutched his chest, he felt as though his heart would fail to beat another beat.
The owl dropped the envelope, ruffled its feathers and flew off.
Once Severus' heart started beating normally he sat up, leaned over, picked up the envelope, pulled out a note and another envelope. Severus unfolded the note and read,
Professor Snape,
I was going through some boxes I found, something my parents put together for me. Anyway I found the enclosed envelope amongst other items. It is addressed to you. I thought and feel that you should have it. I don't think that it was supposed to have remained in the box or even have been in the box. As I said I feel that you should have it. It's yours to do with as you please. I have not read it, I promise you that. It is none of my business; it's not addressed to me. If you want, when school resumes you may do whatever you want or see fit to do to prove that I have not read it. I do admit that I am curious, but whatever is in the envelope is between you and my mum.
Harry.
Severus reread the note from Harry a few more times. Severus was wondering how the kid knew where he lived. He then looked at the envelope and sure enough there was his name in Lily's beautiful handwriting. Severus was not sure what to do. He was not sure what or how to feel. The envelope was clearly from a long time ago.
"Does it really matter what is in the envelope? If I read it how will it affect me? If I don't read it I'll always wonder what she said in the letter or gave me in the envelope." Severus softly mumbled to himself. He then stood up and paced while thinking about it.
Severus finally with shaking hands opened the envelope, pulled out a bit of folded parchment. He unfolded the parchment and at seeing his name again in her handwriting he involuntarily sat down. Fortunately in the tatty armchair and read the letter.
Severus, 24, October 1981
If everyone were to know that I am taking the time to write this letter they would not understand. I need to ask you something and to tell you something. First of all I am so sorry that things did not work out with us. I was so stupid.
With what I am going to ask you, I know I have no right to do so and I am probably completely nuts but never the less I am going to ask it anyway. Just know that I might be a bit all over the place as I am a bit scatter brained as it is. I hope this letter reaches you soon and that you take the time to actually read the whole thing.
I don't know for sure what exactly you know about what has been going on with me. Later this evening we will be performing the Fidelius Charm and I don't know if it will work. I'm just really scared for me and my family. I'm really scared, I'm having misgivings about changing Secret Keeper. But Sirius is right, he is an obvious choice for us to use as Secret Keeper, so we are using Peter Pettigrew instead and I don't feel right about it. I can't…I won't say it again to anyone here as they think that I am paranoid. I don't know maybe I am a little paranoid. But Peter just doesn't seem quite right anymore. He's seems terrified and somewhat sad lately.
Severus, please if things go wrong, please, I beg of you, please make sure that my son, Harry is well taken care of. Watch over him and help him along the way. Tell him about me please. I won't ask you tell him about his father but please tell my son about me. I know Sirius is Harry's Godfather and he is the one to care for Harry if something were to happen to me and his father. If for some reason that Sirius is unable to care for my son, then I want you to care for Harry, I want you to raise my son in my place. Remus can't and I can understand that. There's just no one else that I can trust with my child. I know the Weasley's would take him in, but they have enough on their plate as it is. You are my only and last hope for a good life for my son. I know you would be able to find a way to give my son a loving home. I believe that you can, Harry is my son and I know that you love me or that you used to at least. Sev, you know that my son cannot go to my sister and her husband. You know how my sister is, you know what she is like where our world is concerned. My sister's husband makes her look like she lovingly embraced me when we found out that I am a witch.
Sev, I know I said a lot of things, I regret the last thing I said to you. I just really detested and still do the foul things you hung out with. You went along with your so-called friends calling all Muggle borns 'Mudbloods'. To my knowledge you never tried to stop them when it pertained to me or anyone else. Yes you always apologized to me. You never apologized to anyone else…I don't mean to be chiding you or lecturing you…I'm just trying to explain my state of mind when you tried to talk to me last. You were angry at the time, James and them were once again humiliating you. I just wanted them to stop, I know my helping or interfering didn't really help much. I just…sorry I am side tracking here. I need to tell you something and have to hurry. I don't want certain individuals to know what I am telling you. At least not right this second. Okay, here it goes…I have known something for quite a while and fear that death is near, really near and I need to tell you how I really feel. I do love you and have for quite some time. I diluted myself into thinking that I could be deliriously happy with James. Don't get me wrong, I have been happy just not deliriously like I know you can if given the chance. If we make it through this I will be leaving James. I think he suspects but he won't say anything. Too many friends are over all the time. To be completely honest, yes I do love James but I am in love with you and I can't keep depriving myself of what, of who I want and need to be with. When this is all over I will tell James, I don't think that he will fight me on this. But both of you will have to deal with each other for my sake as well as my son's. Please don't go looking for me, whether it be now or later. If I could, if I was stronger I would pack a bag for myself and my son and try to find you. I just know that I…that my son and I would be safe with you, we would be safer not being sitting ducks. Well, if I were stronger and if it wouldn't put you at risk.
Yes, love I know about the Dark Mark and I blame myself for that. If I had only told you to give me more time to cool down from that damn word. It is just a word, a horrible one but still just a word and I know you didn't mean it. I wish that I had searched for you once I calmed down. I hope that I am not too late to have you in my life, that it's not too late to have forever. If you will have me, if you still want me and are willing to give me another chance…I want a life with you more than anything. I should have been with you all along. I dream of a long happy, loving life with you for the rest of our lives…yes children included. That is the only thing aside from Harry that is getting me through this. I look forward to seeing you again and hopefully forever. I am so sorry for what I did, for what I didn't do. I love you so much.
All my love, Lily.
Severus clutched the letter to his chest, over his heart. He was barely breathing as tears flowed down his face. She loved him, she was in love with him. Then he thought 'would she still if she knew what I did? If she knew it was me that gave the psychopath the information that led him to believe that it was her son, that resulted in him going after her family? I am sure that she would hate me. Could I have provided her son a loving home? Possibly, I think. Though Harry should have been cared for properly all along, he is properly cared for now by his Godfather. I have been treating him differently since he forced me to see and realize that he is Lily's son not just James'. I just only ever thought of Harry as James' son. If I had received the letter in time I would have done what I could, I would have tried to do as she asked of me. Harry is my only link to her, and now this letter. Thank the Gods and Merlin that I have the rest of the summer to ready myself for another year at Hogwarts. That is a possibility as long as I don't reread the letter. Who the bloody hell am I kidding, in her handwriting declaring her…no! Don't this to yourself Severus.'
-crack-
"Master Severus okay?"
"What? Oh…I'm fine. I'm fine. Thanks for asking Beaker."
"Beaker fix you dinner?"
"No Beaker, I'm not hungry…I just…I'm retiring for the night." Severus said sadly and his voice full of pain as he stood up and walked to his room.
Severus put Lily's letter on the small table next to his bed, changed into night clothes, stretched out on his bed on his back and then stared at the letter sitting on the bed side table for quite a while. Though he knew better he still reached out, grabbed the letter gently and read it again. Though it was not like him to cry, he had only done that when he heard about the murders of Lily and yes her husband. He cried himself to sleep that night. He cried about what he could have had with Lily. He could have had or could have Lily in his life now. He knew he would have made her so completely, deliriously happy. He knew he would have been happy, complete. He also knew that he could have been cordial with James at the very least for Lily and Harry. The last thing Severus thought was how in the name of Merlin was he going to face Harry when school resumed?
