Hi guys! I've been feeling really depressed lately, but that's no excuse for not updating. In fact, maybe writing will put me in a better mood.
Disclaimer: I wish. If I did, Clare and Eli would be married by now. And Justin Kelly would still be on the show.
"Clare, hurry it up, we're going to be late for school."
"Since when do you care?" I said, smiling at myself in the bathroom mirror. I couldn't decide what to do with my hair. It was too short to put up, but I didn't really want to leave it down. Maybe I could pull off some sort of half-up? I tried it and it looked like my short curls had gone full on afro. I immediately took it down and tried again.
"Hey," Eli called back, "I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. Like you said, maybe you'll rub off on me. I'm proving you right."
"Sure," I said, rolling my eyes. Eli had never tried to prove me right before. In fact, I'm pretty sure admitting he was wrong was an impossibility. "Now, what's the real reason?"
Eli poked his head in the bathroom door and my eyes went wide as he smirked. "Are you crazy?" I nearly shrieked, but then began to whisper as I realized my parents could hear me and wake up at any minute. "Get out."
He just watched me with a mischievous look as I stood there trying to cover myself while only in my bra and underwear. "Wow, Edwards," he said. "I wish you could go around like that all the time. Although, wait, no I don't. It's much better being the only guy who gets to see it."
Indignant, I picked up the towel I'd dropped on the floor after my shower and threw it, covering his head. "You're not allowed to see any of this, Goldsworthy."
"You're hot when you're mad," he said, taking the towel off and dropping it back down. "You're whole body reddens, like it's pulsing with anger."
"That's because I am pulsing with anger, you idiot. Get out."
"You're chest especially gets red."
At that point, I'd had it. "Stop staring at my chest! Get out!" I yelled, then covered myself in a whisper. "You're not allowed in here. That was our one, freaking rule. You're not allowed in here when I'm in here. If you're breaking it already, it's time for you to get out of the house then."
Eli's smirk faltered. "You don't have to whisper. Your parents won't bother us."
"That's not the point. I want you out of here if you're going to keep pulling this."
"I'm not, Clare, I'm sorry. I don't mean to, I just, sometimes, I don't think about what I'm saying."
"You mean you're so focused on what you want that you don't care that you're insulting me and my religion."
On the word religion, he twitched a bit, almost like the word itself caused him physical pain. It was just a mental tick though. The word only bothered him because he couldn't know what it was like to have my religion.
"It bothers you," I said, hoping I wasn't speaking too boldly. "It bothers you that you can't share that side of me with me."
He looked down at the ground, toeing it with his sneakers. "Come on," he muttered. "We're going to be late for school and you still have to get dressed."
I stared at him and looked down at myself, having almost forgotten I was standing there, indecently, with a boy. But it wasn't a boy. It was Eli.
I moved closer to him, as he kept his eyes down on the ground. "Eli," I whispered, lifting head up, cupping his cheek. His eyes looked in mine and I smiled. He gave me a watery, pained smile back. "Eli," I said again. "What's wrong?"
He stared into my eyes and I watched as they went from pained to determined to a little scared. After a while, he'd finally convinced himself to speak. "It's not that I want your religion. I'm not even sure I understand it. It's just that I think I've found my religion. It's you."
Good or not? You can tell me. I can take it.
