19
Sanji was quiet for the rest of the day. He was upset about their confrontation, and after it all, he felt attacked, and he was tired of feeling that way. Sanji knew that certain aspects of himself were definite rejection matter, but he just didn't know how to relay himself properly. Smoker was right: 'Friends should….be more supportive of what one thinks and feels rather than how they themselves feel.'
He felt he was blasting the other kid with his wants and needs without any regard to Law's feelings and thoughts, and he knew why he was doing so; he just didn't know of any other way to go about it. Of course Law would defy his wishes; of course he made sense, but it didn't make any sense for him to move away completely so that Sanji didn't 'get the wrong idea'. Sanji knew he made sense explaining it to Law.
Then again, having Smoker say those things to Sanji didn't help, either, and it was maddening that this was the Vinsmoke reputation, the road they owned, and he didn't want any part of that road. He didn't want that reputation making his choices for him.
So Sanji was quiet, his upset thoughts swirling within himself, and he didn't want to read what Law had written him because it was more than likely his usual rebelliousness; Sanji had crumpled it, and tore it into shreds because his temper took over. He'd stuffed it all into the trash without a second thought.
Now, he was seated with his family at a restaurant Judge wanted to try out, the dining establishment small with wide windows, but holding a touch of class to it that Judge enjoyed. It wasn't anything impressive to Sanji, but he was feeling tired and upset over the day's actions, and his brothers kept ragging on him for his mood. He picked at the chicken and rice on his plate, ignoring his siblings as best as he could, thinking about the library scene over and over, trying to figure out where he could redo certain conversation threads to get a more satisfactory one.
When their plates were being picked up, he pushed his out so that it could be, as well.
"What's wrong with your food?" he was asked gruffly, by an older man with an absurdly long braided mustache, and a bright white uniform. Judge had complained about his service, earlier, once their order was taken, and when they were given annoyed stares for the brothers speaking in their usual excited fashion throughout their dining hour.
"It was gross, and I hope to never eat here again," Sanji muttered rudely, propping his chin upon his left palm as he glared at his cast.
"What was 'gross' about it?" the man snapped at him.
Sanji realized that he wasn't moving until he got his answer, and sat up in his chair, looking over at his father, who indicated that he answer the guy. His brothers watched with interest. Flustered by the attention, Sanji answered, "Everything about it tasted like complete shit. Why are you even asking me, I don't want to even be here…I hate eating out all the fucking time..."
"My kid is never happy, don't worry about it," Judge said, shifting in his chair to find his wallet. "There's no pleasing him and his difficult palate. This place was satisfying to the rest of us."
"'Difficult palate' huh?" The old man noticed Sanji rolling his eyes at his father, looking back down at his cast. "If you're looking to keep this brat out of your hair, I could use him in the kitchen for some tasks."
"My kid doesn't need a job – "
"I don't have time for a job!"
"If he has a job, he can't get into trouble," Ichiji said over Sanji's frustrated shout, picking at his teeth with a toothpick. "He'll spend most of his time here, and not at other people's places, causing a fuss. Plus, we won't have to hear his bitching every time we eat out, father."
Judge reconsidered this, much to Sanji's horror. "Only involved in clean up, not actual food duties?"
"Of course."
"That sounds agreeable. Let me speak to the manager to make this happen."
"I am the manager, owner, and head chef here. He can start tomorrow, six to nine."
"Oh. Well, then. Sanji. When your brothers go off to practice, you can stay here. That should make it difficult for you to get into any trouble. Thanks, uh…"
"Zeff." With that he walked off with an armful of plates and utensils, and Sanji scowled after him, then at Judge.
"My arm is broken, what am I supposed to do with that?" Sanji snapped at Judge.
"He'll find you some tasks. It'll be good for you. Let's go."
Uttering a long, angry growl, Sanji shoved out of his chair and left it there, trailing after them as they headed to the car.
"What's your problem?" Ichiji fell back to ask him impatiently. "You've been in a mood all fucking day."
"None of your damn business. I hate all of you."
"Get over it, already. We're stuck together for life."
Sanji rolled his eyes again, getting into the car with Niji and Yonji at the doors. Once home, he headed straight to his room. He stared down at his laptop for some time, fiddling with the length of his cast. Were his words even reaching Law? Did they even matter? He supposed not, with the way Law reacted to him. That hurt, and he had to think about why it did. He liked the boy, but he knew it was one sided. He knew it would go nowhere. Law was not 'like him', but Sanji could still be his friend. Try, at least. Everyone needed them, didn't they? But what were the advantages of he himself having a friend that didn't do much in return – wasn't that the same thing as being around his brothers? Was that the point of friendship, to help carry the weight when it was needed? Law did come to him on rare instances to speak up for him, or did Law only feel obligated to?
He had to think that Law wasn't like him, and maybe the decisions Sanji thought were worth it actually weren't for Law. They were decisions that Sanji himself would make if he felt he were in Law's shoes. Smoker was right.
But Sanji was thankful for Law being responsive to him earlier that day, because he'd really needed that. Didn't Law feel the same way when Sanji was there for him?
Maybe not. Maybe Sanji wasn't good at this being-friends, thing after all. Maybe Ichiji was right; family should stick together. After all, their road was already set for them; Law's wasn't. Law had made himself clear; he didn't want Sanji's help. Clearly, he wasn't ready to leave the comfort of his security zones. Friends should support each other's decisions…not make them for them. If Law didn't want his help…then Sanji should just stop pushing. He didn't like the thought, but if this was something he had to do, then…
Resettling in his chair, he fiddled with his cast, thinking about his supposed job at the restaurant. He was not looking forward to that, knowing that it was more pressure on his homework load; but if his family wanted to be rid of him for a few hours, maybe he should look at that positively. At least he could get away from them.
Sullenly, he headed to bed.
: :
Law realized Sanji was ignoring him.
At first, he was relieved because maybe he'd finally gotten into Sanji's head, and Sanji took the hint to leave him alone. But then he started acknowledging the unidentifiable feelings that hit him every time he opened his locker and saw nothing there to indicate that Sanji was acknowledging what Law had written back to him. Was he offended? Did his family pressure him again? Or did he start to believe that 'he didn't matter to anyone', and just gave up on Law?
Law wasn't surprised; it happened a lot. His parents would do the same thing once they got to know him. It embarrassed him that he spoke so freely to Sanji the other day, but that kid had a definite way of making him react unreasonably against himself.
At the same time, acknowledging what he'd given of himself to the teen made Law feel cross. Sanji was practically involved in every little thing that happened so far, and to cause all that trouble and walk away like it was nothing made Law feel angry. He wouldn't have come this far if it weren't for him. Acknowledging it as such felt alien. It sounded like he was angry because he'd come to rely on Sanji's constant pushing; expected it, relied upon it. Despite all the shoves Law administered back, Sanji was still there, defying him, forcing him out of his security zones he would never again venture out of. Law had yet to define this as good or bad – all he knew was that he would've never come this far without him.
These feelings festered inside of him, as obnoxious as the boy's voice. Thursday night, as he made dinner for Rosinante, he stared down at the water bubbling in the pot, eggs bouncing about slightly. These things shouldn't bother him, he told himself. He should be glad Sanji was leaving him alone; Sanji had even showed up to school in a new sweater, one that fit him properly. But Law had given up a lot of himself to that kid, and for Sanji to just disregard it or not think anymore of it just made it all feel like it had been a game for him.
He was confused. Maybe that was the better word for this situation. He was confused because he wasn't sure how to feel in regards to suddenly being ignored after revealing everything that was bothersome to him, and with all the chaotic changes around him, he wasn't sure how to find his footing. So he was just looking for something easy to blame, and Sanji was an easy target.
"Law…"
He turned quickly at the sound of Rosinante's voice, horrified that he'd been lost in such deep thought. He immediately searched for any source of trouble the man might be in, or had missed anything he was supposed to do. Rosinante was looking at him with concern.
"The water is not going to boil faster with you glaring at it. Come sit."
After one last look at the pot, Law did as Rosinante asked, sitting next to him while his cigarette burned. Rosinante's hands were too shaky to hold it on his own, today, so it burned safely within the ashtray. He kept touching the various things atop of the table, moving around the salt and pepper shaker, knocking them over, attempting to right them only to knock them down again. His motor movement was difficult to control.
"What's on your mind?" Rosinante asked curiously. "School? Counseling?"
Law exhaled heavily, reaching out to right the shakers and set them out of his reach. "Just a number of things. What do you want with your eggs?"
"It'll be okay," Rosinante told him, nodding. "All of it. It'll be okay."
"You don't know that."
"I know that you're afraid, but…these things…it'll all work out. It was already bad, so it can't get any worse," Rosinante said quietly, reaching for the ashtray, but Law shifted it out of his reach, afraid that the man would burn himself again.
"It's been too long. I know they won't like me."
"Why wouldn't they, do you think?"
"Because I can't speak clearly. Because my grades aren't what they should be. And I helped kill that man – "
"You had nothing to do with that man, the judge already said, so. But those other things can be fixed. You know this." Rosinante studied him for a bit, before reaching out and swiping dropped pepper and salt from the table. "We're having problems with bugs, here. Law. Bug spray?"
Law reached out and brushed the scattered spices off the table himself. "There are no bugs, Rosinante. It's pepper. This is salt."
"You're sure?"
"Mm-hmm."
Rosinante nodded his head faintly, trusting Law with his hallucination. Law was a good boy. He was on top of these things. He asked, "Are your friends upset you'll leave them?"
Law shrugged. "They'll make new ones."
Rosinante furrowed his brow. "I'd be upset if I had to leave them all behind."
"This is only temporary."
"Don't make things temporary – "
"Everything in this world is temporary, Rosinante!"
"You might've had the unfortunate experience to think that, Law, but look at it this way; what an experience it was," Rosinante said, reaching out to pat his arm. "It must be tough relating to those around you when they haven't lived the same life as you."
Law shrugged. He was right; it was difficult relating to those around his age because he didn't think the way they did, nor did he participate in some of the things they did. He had no idea what current memes were available, what movies were popular, and what artists were being fawned over. Law took the time to examine Rosinante's fingers, making sure the man hadn't hurt himself in any way since he was at school. Sometimes, when Rosinante was injured, he couldn't quite express himself to tell these things.
"I don't care," he muttered in response.
"There is always someone there that cares. This world is so rotten, unfair, frustrating, teeming with stupid things, and why can't I have this, or be able to do that, or even make a mark on things that others do? I forget things a lot, and I know I cause so much trouble to everyone around me, but…when I do remember, I am grateful for the things I do have," Rosinante said quietly, looking at the scarred table in front of them. "And you have these things, too, Law. But your sister, your parents – there's more to them, right?"
Law shrugged. "I don't know."
"If change wasn't so frightening, then it'd be easier. But it's not. And that's okay to think that. It's okay to be scared. But it's not okay to live your life continuing to think that things are temporary, because you should know by now that if they were, your heart wouldn't hurt so much." Rosinante slung an arm around his shoulders to pull him close, and Law let him, because Rosinante was lucid and aware, and these times were so rare, lately, and he realized that Rosinante was right. His eyes felt embarrassingly misty. "Little boy, I want you to know, right now, give it a chance. At least you tried, okay? It's time for someone to take care of you – "
When Law shook his head to reject that, to protest his age, Rosinante gripped his hair. Not a painful grip, but just to keep him focused on him.
"It's never too late. We, as human beings, need it. You need it, you deserve it, you are a human being that deserves this chance to be loved, no matter what it was you've already been through. It'll be okay. So you go in there and give it a chance, and make your demands, and keep exploring and make memories, and give chances, and don't be afraid to give it your all, because you fucking deserve it! You understand me?"
"It's not that easy - !"
"It is…it is that easy…Because you've been doing it already, I can tell. Do you think I haven't noticed these things?" Rosinante smiled at him, ruffling his hair. "I'm so proud of you. You hold yourself differently, now, and I'm just so proud of you!"
"I haven't done anything like that."
"Oh? Then why are you so upset?"
Law shrugged a shoulder, wiping his nose. Expressing these difficult things with Rosinante would go no where – the man had problems with coherency and attention, and he felt that it would be too difficult for Rosinante to understand his feelings. So he said nothing; feeling alone with these problems, he had to sort them out within himself to understand them.
Rosinante touched the bridge of his nose with a fingertip. "What happened, here?"
"I bumped it," Law explained patiently. Some days Rosinante would remember, other days he wouldn't.
"Be careful, okay?"
"I know."
Rosinante reached up to fiddle with his ear, to brush through his own hair with trembling fingers. He furrowed his brow with concentration, eyes focused on the kitchen sink. Law looked at him, then grabbed a napkin from the dispenser from the center of the table, to wipe his mouth. Rosinante jerked his head away, grabbed the napkin to do it himself, wiping at dry skin with a frustrated expression.
"He's a stubborn one, isn't he? Sanji?"
"I don't know," Law grumbled, picking at a scar in the table. Rosinante looked at him, crumbling the napkin within one hand. He then touched the furrow in Law's brow, and Law jerked his head away.
"Are you two fighting again?"
"I don't want to talk about him."
"Look at this frown. So deep and angry. Not something one would wear if they didn't care," Rosinante said with amusement. Law pushed away from the table and marched to the stove, checking on the eggs. Rosinante watched him use a fork to prod at the shells, observing the stiffened shoulders and sullen frown.
He returned his attention to the table with a slight smile, relieved to have said what he had. His moments of clarity were far and few in between, but he was glad he was able to speak of his feelings to Law. He felt the boy deserved to hear them, and he feared not having the chance to say them, afraid to forget. He hoped he helped.
: :
Friday morning, when Niji and Yonji were at Mr Hansen's desk, arguing about their grade in free study, Law turned in his seat to glare at the boy behind him. Sanji had his head down and was writing furiously, if not clumsily, in his notebook to the theme of an essay topic he had for another class.
Law reached out to snatch the notebook right out from underneath his pen and tossed it to the floor, Sanji looking up with absolute bewilderment. "You're not going to say anything?"
"Oh my god, don't talk to me," Sanji muttered, going for his notebook. He sat down with a huff.
"That's all?"
"Fuck off. That's what you wanted me to do, right? So you do the same."
Law gave him a dubious stare.
"What is your problem? Leave me alone, I'm leaving you alone."
"You can't even write me back?"
"My opinions don't matter to you, right?"
"After you fucked up my life, you're retreating into a corner to hide. Typical," Law muttered bitterly, resettling in his seat after his face started to turn red.
Sanji jabbed him with his pen. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? Typical of whom?"
When Law didn't answer, Sanji straightened out his notebook. Muttering to himself, he continued writing while Law crossed his arms tightly over his chest and glared towards the far corner of the front of the classroom, ears ringing. Niji looked back at them, wearing a little smirk, but it didn't appear as if he'd seen anything. He kicked Yonji in the shin to complain, Mr Hansen looking as if he regretted his job choice.
"I didn't even read your stupid note," Law then heard Sanji mutter. He twisted in his seat again.
"So, you're fucking butthurt over something I said?"
"What are you so mad about? You spent all this time cussing me out about becoming involved, now you're mad because I'm giving you want you want?"
Because he had a point, Law turned back in his chair and continued to glare.
"Besides, it doesn't matter if you're leaving anyway," Sanji continued to mutter.
"So what I had to say was meaningless to you," Law stated, fingers tightening.
"What are you talking about?"
"If you haven't read it, then forget it!"
Niji looked over once again, both of them focused on their desk or task. The blue haired teen made a cursory examination of their postures, then looked at the kids sitting near them to determine whether or not they were interested in something to the left of them. But seeing as they were too occupied with what they were doing, he returned his attention to Mr Hansen.
Unable to drop it, Law mumbled, "Forget I said anything. Just keep doing you. That's what you're good at, anyway."
"Stop with all your bitter comments!"
"You guys should really take this outside," Penguin muttered, glancing at them uncomfortably.
"Stay out of it!" Sanji barked at him.
"Don't yell at him because you're a fucking dick that wants attention," Law snapped back at him.
Sanji looked ready to stab him with his pen when Niji called out, "What's going on over there? Quiet down, mouse!"
"They have you on a short leash, don't they?" Law then asked Sanji, resettling in his seat and glaring at Niji defiantly. "Woof."
"Whatever you just said, English, speak up! You're obviously talking shit to me, so speak up!" Niji demanded, pointing at him. At this, Mr Hansen stood up in his chair to look over the boys standing in front of him, to see what Niji was shouting about.
"What is going on back there?" he demanded, walking out from behind his desk.
Law stood up, then walked out from the classroom, much to Mr Hansen's dismay. After several moments, Sanji abandoned his things and hurried out after him. Niji and Yonji looked dumbstruck for a few moments while Mr Hansen recovered and reached for the inter-room phone on his desk, wearing a perplexed expression.
Out in the hallway, Sanji rushed after Law, who was taking quick strides towards the front of the building. With a burst of speed, he leapt onto him, Law tripping in mid-step and slamming up against a row of lockers at he caught himself, stumbling under Sanji's weight.
Both of them fell to the floor, Law reaching out and shoving Sanji away as Sanji made to right himself. Both of them then pushed each other, struggling to climb to their feet. Law grabbed hold of his cast and pushed into the floor just to keep it from hitting him, and Sanji rolled over awkwardly and snatched onto the collar of his shirt, using strength to keep him down on the floor.
"What is your fucking problem?" Sanji snarled at him, then half crawling onto his back, wrapping his legs around his in an effort to hold him down, but with his arm being held to the floor, he couldn't do more than that. "Talking shit, wanting to get hit - !"
Law reached out and curled an arm around his neck, and used his shoulders and upper body weight to keep him pinned to the floor, so they were in the middle of the hall, breathing hard and angry.
"You stink! Let go!"
"It's not fair of you to cause all this trouble, then walk away like it was nothing!" Law snapped at him, struggling to get his legs loose. "You came in and screwed everything up - !"
"I improved your miserable life, you fucking asshole!"
" – then ignore me, because, what? There's nothing more for you to mess up?"
"I didn't mess anything up - !"
Sanji struggled to get his head out of Law's grip, the taller boy finally rolling to the side, out of his legs' grasp, still applying pressure over Sanji's chest. Sanji twisted towards him, getting his knees up and pushing out, catching Law in the stomach. They rolled into the lockers opposite of them, still pulling or shoving to get distance from each other.
Once both of them were on their feet, aiming to attack again when they heard footfalls coming their way. They quickly retreated away from each other, smoothing out clothing, and then faced that direction. Sanji hurried to the forefront, brushing his hair back into place. Once the vice principal and a security guard revealed themselves, he said quickly, "I'm not feeling well. He's walking me to the school nurse."
"You look very disheveled," the security guard noted with skepticism, looking at them both.
Sanji made to vomit theatrically, both of the adults scurrying back to avoid being unleashed upon. After a few moments, Law caught onto what was happening, and quickly grabbed Sanji's arm, jerking him towards the front office. The pair of adults followed with uncertainty, the security guard radioing that the hallway was clear, they were en route to the school nurse.
"I'll get you later for this, you miserable fuck," Sanji hissed at Law, uncovering his mouth to do so.
Law ignored the threat, dragging him into the front office without any regards to his footing, office personnel looking at them with startled faces, student workers interested in the scene. Once at the ward, the nurse looked at them, wide-eyed, before indicating that Sanji sit on the single cot there, finding a plastic yellow bucket at the sight of his motions for one.
The bell rang at that moment, the nurse looking at Law with a nod. "You can go. Thank you."
"He can stay until break's almost over," Sanji stressed, glaring at the older kid.
"Okay, well…let me go find your file. Go ahead, have a seat," the nurse then said to Law, indicating the stool nearby. Once she turned her back, Sanji flung the paper covered pillow at him, catching him in the face. Law threw it back at him.
Even if he had the opportunity to leave, Law just stood there, fists bunched tightly. He continued to glare at the boy, a whirlwind of anger and frustration. Sanji glared back at him, forcing himself to take on the look of a 'sick' student in the event that Ichiji or office staff came in to check on him.
Finally, Law uttered quietly, "If it wasn't for you, I would've been on the streets, avoiding every fucking unmarked car driving up to the camps! Now, I'm being taken out of a home I felt comfortable being, and you don't have anything to say?"
Sanji stared at him with bewilderment. "You never listen to what I have to say, so I didn't say anything!"
Emitting a low expletive, Law looked to walk out when he stopped, hearing the sounds of the office personnel answering phones, fielding walk-in students, parents with a question.
"So…you didn't read it, then," he stated, not asking it as a question.
"No. I don't want to," Sanji said stubbornly, holding his casted arm to his chest as it throbbed painfully. He wanted to rub the ache away, but he had to settle for holding onto his elbow, instead. "I know exactly what it's going to say. 'Fuck off'. 'I don't care'. The same, usual exact things you've said this entire fucking time!"
Law glared at the open doorway. It occurred to him that Sanji was right – Law did throw those things at him nearly every time something came up.
"Well? Right?" Sanji snapped, looking at him.
"…No."
Sanji shut his mouth, thrown off his attack. He shifted on the cot uneasily. "You…you wrote me back?"
Whatever Law was going to say in response was interrupted when Penguin appeared, holding onto their abandoned things with a sheepish cringe of his shoulders. Law took his notebook, then Sanji's bag from him when Penguin held them out. He turned, kicked Sanji's bag into the corner and strode away without saying anything. Sanji's face reddened with reaction to yell after him, but not even a moment after Law left, Ichiji walked in with an annoyed expression. Penguin quickly left without saying anything.
"Now what's your problem?" Ichiji complained. "What is all this fuss?"
"I'm sick!"
"You weren't this morning."
Sanji rested back in the cot with a dramatic sigh. "It happened all of a sudden. Just one look at your face made it worse. I might be dying right as I speak. Please…brother…erase my search history…"
Ichiji rolled his eyes, allowing the nurse to re-enter, holding onto Sanji's student file. "I hope it's food poisoning from your new job. Dumb ass."
He walked out, the nurse looking after him with surprise, but looking back at Sanji with a strained smile, attempting to recover.
: :
In the stairway outside the east end of the school, which lead up to the gym's auditorium room, both of them met near the end of their last class, having agreed to do so that they could sort it before the weekend.
Law sat hunched, his fingers wrapped around his shins. Sullenly, he said, "So, you gave up on me."
Sanji snapped at his gum. "With no returning gestures, what did you expect?"
"If you don't have the stamina to be there for someone who doesn't believe in it, then giving up isn't an option," Law said stubbornly.
Sanji frowned heavily at him. With the way Law was avoiding looking at him directly, it gave Sanji the idea that this could be forgiven. Law wasn't holding himself in a combative stance; he was here, he was talking, he was angry and hurt about something Sanji did not do. So that told Sanji Law relied on him. That was good enough for Sanji.
"Excuse me for never being in this situation, before! What did you write?"
"…'Thank you.'"
"That was it?" Sanji exclaimed, nearly losing his gum. "You nearly got us into trouble all because you said 'thank you'? Saying it to my face would have been easier!"
Law shrugged, fiddling with the shredded hems of his slacks, pulling at the loose thread there. "It made me mad after I…said all these things that only you know about, and you just started ignoring me."
"It made me mad that you made me feel like everything I said wasn't valuable."
Law acknowledged that with a low sigh. "Then, we're both wrong."
Sanji grunted. He rested his elbows on his knees, both hands up against his forehead to hide his face. "Not like it matters, right? In the end, you're still leaving."
Law shrugged in response.
"It would be much harder living in the streets than it would in a home where you can have control!" Sanji exclaimed, straightening up. "At least you get meals, a bed, clothes - !"
"Yeah, living with two people that disregarded me in the first place, that sounds like a lot of fun!" Law snapped peevishly.
"How bad was it if they spent all this time trying to get you back?" Sanji muttered, pulling his knees atop of the step below him before linking his fingers together over his ankles. "All I say is that you make some demands to satisfy yourself in the process. At least you have a chance to start over, considering that negotiations are open due to the nature of your situation."
"There are no 'negotiations'," Law muttered.
Sanji fiddled with his chin, looking at the wall ahead of him with thought. Resting his elbows atop of his knees, he blew bubbles with his gum while some birds flitted from one spot to another from the trees below. "Well, you should really consider making some. That's the only way anyone can win out of this situation."
Law looked at him, hands clutching the edge of the stair he sat on. "Things are temporary."
"Only because you're scared, and you make it feel that way."
Law stared at him, thinking Sanji repeated quite closely what Rosinante was saying, last night. He pushed his heels out to the next step's edge, crunching on bits of gravel there. "I don't know what to say to them."
Sanji wondered to himself if Law had always looked at him for a few seconds too long, or if he were imagining things. Should he overthink that? He mumbled, "It'll work itself out when you're ready to. It'll be okay, because, by then, you'll know what to say."
Law gave Sanji an impatient frown, leaning back on his palms. "…Right…"
Sanji picked at his shoe laces. He looked at Law for what felt like longer than necessary, but he was really working up the nerve to say, "We're still friends until then, right?"
Law exhaled heavily, looking down at his shoes again. He could feel Sanji waiting for his answer, still looking at him. Addressing his shoes, he muttered, "Until your dad sends you to some religious gay camp."
"It'll probably be soon, considering – look, there's nothing more he can do to me. He took away my phone, my driving privileges, my freedom, made it 'okay' for my brothers to break my arm, made me feel stupid - and he even forced me into a job, which sucks, but at least that old man, he's okay, he'll let me play with the dishes, so…"
"You have a job?"
"Every time my brothers get dropped off to practice, I have to go to this restaurant- you should suggest it to Doflamingo the next time you guys eat out, I'll make sure you get a discount," Sanji then suggested, brightening up at the thought. "Their food really isn't all that bad, and that way, we can hang out without having to sneak around to do so."
Law shrugged again, unable to picture this kid actually at a job where he had to interact with customers. He probably made outrageous demands of them while serving them.
"I work in the kitchen, but sometimes I clear away dishes and shit and stuff – I don't even get paid! I'm being babysat by an old man with – he's got two mustaches, like, braided down to here and he's such a cool ass dude, like, he just talks any old way to anybody and he don't care who it is, they're going to hear what he has to say," Sanji added with a snicker, knees up close to he could curl his fingers over them. He straightened quickly. "But don't tell him I said that, I don't want him thinking that I think he's cool, or anything."
Law gave him a look that clearly asked why he would even talk to such a person in the first place. "If you don't get paid, that's stupid to keep doing that."
"I…honestly don't care? Because at least I get away from those assholes at home, you know," Sanji said with a snort, laying his casted arm over his lap and leaning over it.
Law used that moment to lean in, catching his attention. Before Sanji could say anything, he kissed him quickly. The boy just sat there, stunned, his eyes wide as dinner plates. His gum fell out of his mouth as his jaw lowered. He felt blindsided by a sucker punch, all connecting lines to today's events dropping completely out of grasp. He didn't know what to sputter, or think.
Law looked down at the gum that had fallen from Sanji's mouth, then at him, nervously taking in the expression on his face.
"What…what was that for?" Sanji asked.
Law shrugged, picking at his shoes.
"You're not…making fun of me, are you?" Sanji then asked low, feeling his eyebrows come together.
"No…isn't that what guys like you expect?"
Sanji's face and neck turned bright red. He stood straight up, ready to unleash everything he had at that moment onto Law.
"It's okay with me, as long as it's not demanded, or attempted to be paid, for," Law then added.
Sanji was reminded of his earlier thought of these things with Law, and his quick temper was equally as fast to leave him. He sat down slowly, fiddling with his fingers. "I don't want it if you're not like me, or if you feel obligated to," he mumbled bitterly.
Law managed to look at him, frowning ever so slightly. Did he misread the kid? Ashamed of his effort, he muttered, "What, your hormones don't work?"
"Call me crazy, but I want these things from someone that actually wants to do it with me," Sanji retorted, picking at his shoes. "If you're doing it just because you think I expect it, then I don't want it."
Law snorted. "Good luck finding that."
Sanji glared at him. Then he glared at the stairs leading away from them.
Law looked at him. "Are you mad at me?"
"Yes!"
Law scowled, looking away from him as he fiddled with loose pebbles at hand. "Might as well as get it when you can. With the way you're going, it's either going to be with someone who's only in it for your family money, or because you force it, or buy it. No one's going to willingly give it to you because you're you."
Sanji stared at him incredulously. Those words hurt him, a physical pang reverberating in his chest and leaving a hot stinging in his eyes. Law looked at him when Sanji was quiet for too long, and noticed his hurt expression. Sanji then stood up and left Law sitting there, the older teen looking after him with a hard frown. He drew his knees up and lowered his head into his folded arms. Law did feel bad for what he said, and he had only said those things because he was ashamed of himself for kissing Sanji for the reasons he'd stated. The bell rang, but he ignored it. As the sound of kids' voices filled the air as they were released, he waited for the halls to at least clear out a bit.
Fuck, I'm so stupid, he thought bitterly.
a/n: I had what I had left cut and edited into this! They aren't abandoned, just put aside for now.
RR: it'll definitely show up on Tumblr! I usually just post and run D: The boys' get even more complicated in this chapter – hot and cold, just like Nevada weather.
Guest: Wish granted!
Thanks to all that drop in and read – I know you're out there ;) don't be shy
