Her body is perched on top of one of the plastic seats. Arms are folded across her chest as her knees bounce, pulse thumping hard and fast beneath the cage of her ribs that her bones are beginning to ache, her entire body feeling as if it's only moments away from combusting.
Her head lifts, vision slightly blurred and lids heavy from the tears that had just stopped falling and how long she'd been sitting here. She looks around the hospital waiting room her eyes immediately going to the doors of the emergency room as her chest rises while she sucks in a breath.
She got the call almost six hours ago now that her father was in the emergency room after having been in a car accident. The head on collusion hadn't been too bad – as she'd been told by the nurse on the phone and after arriving. But the main concern and worry was the high level of alcohol in his system, and her blood had immediately run cold upon hearing the initial reason he'd been in a crash.
She felt her body being ripped back to the day her father and her had come home from dinner to find an officer at their door notifying them of her mother's death. And she thought that this was it, that this was the call she'd get to notify her of her father's death and her whole world couldn't help but come to a complete and utter stop.
She wants to tell him she told him so – that drowning his sorrows in booze was only going to cause him to end up in a body bag, but what she wants most is to seem him awake and talking – to hear his voice again and be held by him. Because she's not ready to lose him, she can't lose him as well. She won't be able to cope with it.
"Ms. Beckett?"
Kate's head snaps in direction of the doctor coming towards her and she's instantly on her feet, eyes wide and burning as her pulse thumps loud in her ears, her breath getting caught in her throat.
"How – how is he?" She manages to get out as she swallows hard.
"He's stable for now."
She lets out the breath she'd been holding, her eyes falling closed as the arms folded across her chest tighten.
"He sustained minor injuries from the crash. Just a broken wrist and a swollen ankle, as well as a minor concussion."
"And the alcohol level?" She pulls her bottom lip into her mouth; chewing on it a little too hard. She's glad his injuries from the crash are minor – that not a lot is broken and won't take too long to heal. But she's more worried about how high is alcohol level was – what the damage there was.
"His alcohol level was 0.26. We had to pump his stomach to flush out all the fluids, and he's currently on a drip. But your father is doing surprisingly well considering all he's been through tonight, Ms. Beckett."
She could hug the man before her – let a smile break out across her face hearing that her father was doing well, all things considering. He was breathing, and he was alive. And when he wakes up and she's told him how much she loves him – then she'll give him an earful.
"Thank you." She breathes out, swallowing once more as her tongue runs across her bottom lip. "Can I see him now?"
"Of course, just follow me." He nods to her, giving her the smallest of smiles. "He should be waking up any moment now." The doctor turns, and leads Kate through the doors and down the hall to where her father is.
She stands in the doorway, fingertips gripping it in order to keep her body balanced as her head leans against the frame, her eyes falling closed as the image of her father asleep on the hospital bed fades from her line of sight.
She knew she shouldn't have took his word – that she should've sent him straight back to rehab the first time she got his drunken call. Then maybe neither of them would be in this position right now.
She shakes her head, can't help but sniffle and wipe away the tears beginning to fall as she peels herself away from the doorframe and moves into the room.
Her heels clank against the floor, and she glances down at her attire – can't help but wince at how out of place she is.
She's still wearing the strapless lacy dress – now accompanied with the leather jacket from her car, that she'd worn to Rick's book launch – and what was also supposed to be for their date.
Her head shakes at the ruined night while slipping into the seat opposite her father's bedside.
She's got at least seven missed calls from Rick, ones she knows she should've answered. She left the launch so suddenly after receiving that phone call.
She'd been standing with Martha and Alexis – helping occupy the tired redhead who wanted to leave but also see her father, when her phone had gone off.
She wanted to ignore the phone call, knew that it could possibly be work with a body drop – despite it being her night off. But she couldn't stop herself from reaching into her purse and excusing herself from the two redheads.
That's the last she'd seen them when she'd gone to answer the private number in one of the back rooms. The second her father was mentioned, and where he now was – Kate was off. She darted so fast out of that bookstore she's surprised she didn't leave skid marks on her way out.
She'd been worried sick – her cage rattled and her mind completely wrapped around the fact that her father might not make it, and answering Rick's calls and giving him an explanation as to why she'd run off in such a hurry just wasn't that important to her in that very moment.
She pulls out her phone, a sigh falling from her lips as she catches the time on her screen: 4.23am. No wonder she was exhausted. It hadn't just been from all the crying she'd done. She hadn't realised how late it had gotten. When she'd received the call, it'd been no closer to eight thirty.
She opens her phone, and clicks on her messages to read the ones Rick has sent her.
Where are you?
Where did you go, Kate?
Are you okay?
Did I do something wrong?
Please pick up.
She should reply to him, send him something and tell him that she's okay, that everything's okay. But she knows he'll want an explanation as to why she ran out of his book launch and ruined their date night, and right now, she can't give him one. Mainly because she'd rather tell him in person – have the warmth of his arms and the comfort in his eyes soften the ache inside of her when she tells him why she had to run off so suddenly. She may not deserve him, but he's the only person who seems to make her feel comfortable when hell is raining down on her.
"Katie?"
The voice is so soft and barely above a whisper that Kate almost misses it. Her head snaps up from her phone, eyes falling onto her father staring at her with the edges of his lips creased upwards in the slightest.
"D-dad." She breathes out, quickly rising to her feet and letting her belongings fall to the ground as she quickly moves forwards to wrap her arms around him.
"Wh-whoa, not so tight now." He coughs, spluttering and Kate pulls back immediately, her heart aching even more as she adjusts the drip she'd almost caused to rip away from him.
"Sorry. I'm sorry." She shakes her head, moves away to pour him a glass of water and help him drink some of the liquid.
"I should be the one saying that to you." He pauses after his throat is clearer, but his voice is still hoarse. He gives her a knowing look that has her head dipping and an audible sigh falling from her lips. "I'm so sorry, Katie."
"Dad – I thought… I thought I lost you." Her brows pull together tightly, the tears in her eyes remerging and slowly starting to fall down the frames of her cheeks.
She feels his good hand come to rest atop of hers and grip it tightly, forcing her to lift her head to meet his gaze.
"You haven't. You won't. I'm so sorry you had to even think that."
Kate shakes her head, a bitter laugh almost falling from her lips as her tongue runs along her front teeth.
"You say that. But you'll go back to the booze as soon as you're out of here, and then you'll be back here again. Except next time – you won't make it."
His hand grips hers tighter and Kate's chest rises, her jaw tightening as she stares ahead at the closed curtains covering the window.
"I may not… remember much of what's happened." Kate can't help but shift, her hand slipping away from his as he speaks but he grips onto her hand tighter. "But there won't be a next time. There isn't going to be one. I promise you. It's different this time, I promise you it is, and I swear on your mother, Katie."
Her chest starts to rise a little fast, the ache inside becoming tight and her hand jerks away from his as her body flies to stand tall, head whipping round to glare down at him as she grits her teeth. "Don't you dare. Don't you dare swear on her!"
"I thought I saw her before I crashed."
"Wh-what?"
"Thought I saw her when I was lying there after the crash too. All I could see was the disappointed look on her face. And all I could imagine her saying to me was how selfish and inconsiderate I was being. That I wasn't ruining only my life – but yours."
He reaches for her once more, his body shifting to sit up and he winces that Kate rushes forwards to help situate him back into a comfortable position as she eases herself back onto the bed next to him.
"I'm going to try better – harder this time, Katie. Not just for me, but for you and your mother."
He reaches out for her arm, his fingers wrapping around and squeezing. It's then he takes in her appearance and his brows pull together in confusion as he looks back up at her.
"Where – where were you tonight?"
She swallows, head shaking and gaze dropping to her lap. "Doesn't matter now."
"It was somewhere important, wasn't it? I dragged you away from somewhere important. A special night by the looks of it. A Date?"
"You didn't drag me away. I dragged myself away."
"Because I'd been stupid and careless." He sighs, head shaking as he squeezes her arm once more before dropping it to his lap. "I'm sorry I haven't been there for you, and that I've ruined important nights for you because of how I've been trying to cope."
Kate's head shakes, tears burning round her lids again. She wants to tell him it's okay, that it's fine. But she knows that'll be a lie, and he'll know it as well.
"I'm going to do better this time. I promise you. I'll get better help. Live in a sober home – do whatever I have to do to ensure I don't end up here again, and that you don't have to carry the weight of the whole world on your shoulders anymore."
She doesn't say anything, but instead lets her body lean lightly against her father in a way that won't cause him any pain as she closes her eyes and rests her cheek against the top of his head.
Rick's standing outside her apartment door, his back leaning against the outer doorframe as he stares down at his phone rather hard.
He hasn't heard anything – hasn't received any texts or calls, and from the consistent knocking he's been doing for the past fifteen minutes – it doesn't seem like she's in either.
It's nearing eleven am, and he's starting to become furious. Half of him wants to believe that she has a valid reason for leaving and ignoring all his attempts at trying to contact her, that maybe she was hurt or had something work related, but the other half of him can't seem to come up with a reason as to why she'd leave without saying a word or ignoring his messages and calls for this long.
Either she's been abducted by aliens, or she was really trying to tell him she wasn't at all interested in him. He hopes it's the first – mainly because that'd be so cool. But also, because he doesn't want to believe the latter, that there could be a possibility her acting abilities were greater than his mothers and she'd been putting on an act this entire time with him and wasn't the slightest bit interested or attracted to him as he was with her.
His head lifts when he hears the elevator ding and his eyes widen as he sees her emerging from the elevator. His heart flutters, but the anger inside soon overpowers the happiness of seeing her. The anger inside rising as he sees her wearing last night's clothes and his heart begins to thump fast, an unsettling feeling emerging in the pit of his stomach as he sees her head bowed – the messy curls and her fingertips clutching her heels.
It looked like she was doing the walk of shame, and he wanted to be sick – wanted to run and not be here when she looked up.
But she looks up and sees him, and any doubts of what she's done quickly fades as he sees the red rimmed eyes and the smudged makeup – the tiredness that's etched across her face and made her seem like she's aged in the short time since he's last seen her.
His brows pull together, lips beginning to gape as he steps forwards, phone slipping into his pocket.
"Kate? What – are you okay?"
He's like putty in her hands, the anger of her disappearing on him and ignoring him disintegrating as he quickly moves forwards, his hands coming to rest at her arms as she stops in front of him.
"I'm – I'm fine." She sighs out, eyes falling closed as she swallows the lump in her throat.
"Rick, I'm so – god I'm so sorry for running off like I did last night. For ignoring your calls and texts." Her eyes open as she lifts her head to meet his gaze, and she immediately feels the guilt course through her body as she sees the hurt in his eyes. "I didn't – I should've called."
"You think?" It comes out a little colder than he intended as his arms drop to his side, gaze tearing away from Kate.
"You have to know it wasn't because of you, Rick. It wasn't your fault, okay? I wanted… I really wanted our date to go ahead. But I – my dad." She stops, head shaking and Rick's head snaps back to look at her and worry starts to wash across his face.
"What happened, Kate?"
She pulls her bottom lip into her mouth the second it begins to quiver, the tears beginning to re-emerge round the rims of her lids. She's not sure why she's crying – her father was fine. He was doing good after the amount of rest he'd gotten and was even getting discharged early tomorrow morning.
She puts her crying down to the lack of sleep she got. She'd been too worried that something was going to go wrong, that it'd be too good to be true that her father suffered minor injuries and had, had a wakeup call of promising to get better – and she could tell he genuinely meant it too.
"He was in an accident, he was drunk."
"Oh my god, Kate. I'm so sorry… Is he – is he okay?"
She nods her head, can't stop her bottom lip from quivering again, and she moves forwards to bury her face in Rick's chest without warning.
Because she's tired. Both mentally and physically.
"He's fine. He's fine." She repeats, her arms coming to wrap around Rick as she grips his shirt and feels his arms wrap around her back. "He only broke his wrist and sprained his ankle. But he's… he's good. Even promising he's going to do better and try harder to stay sober this time." She swallows, sucks in a breath and wipes her eyes as she pulls back from Rick's grip.
"I'm sorry." She shakes her head, running her tongue along her lips. "I don't know what's gotten into me." She can't help but laugh, as she looks up to meet Rick's gaze, a soft smile spreading across his lips.
"Don't be sorry. I'm here for you. I'm always here for you." He shakes his own head, lifts his hand to cup her cheek and wipe away the falling tear. "Whatever you need, I'm here. Just tell me what you need."
"I don't deserve you." She murmurs, her brows pulling together tightly. She'd disappeared and not said a word to him, wouldn't have even seen him till god knows when since her mind was preoccupied with her father. Rick deserved more than that; more from her. He deserved for her to try better and stop pushing him back so hard.
"Maybe you don't." He shrugs, his hand still cupping her cheek, his thumb brushing over the bone under her eye. "But you deserve to have someone there for you. You don't have to do anything alone, you know?"
She nods, a small smile starting to crease her lips. "I know – and I'm grateful, really. Even if it doesn't seem like it."
She'd never been great at keeping people around – was too afraid of her heart suffering anymore heartache. But Rick was different, had been different from day one, and maybe it was time for her to be better at trying to keep people around.
"I need to shower then get back to the hospital. But I'll… call you tonight, okay?"
His head tilts, eyes roaming over her body before landing back on her face. "Have you eaten?"
She shakes her head and Rick smiles down at her.
"Well… how about while you shower, and before you go back to the hospital, I make you something to eat? Then I can drive you back to the hospital?"
"Rick… you don't, you don't have to do that."
"I know. But I want to. Let me help, Kate. You look exhausted, so just… let me help." His thumb softly brushes against her cheek once more and she pulls her bottom lip into her mouth, chewing on it before her head is nodding.
"Okay." He smiles slightly wider at her, and she can't help the edges of her own lips from lifting as she steps back from his embrace to move around him to her apartment door.
"Besides, we didn't exactly get our date last night. So… brunch could be our date."
Her brow arches as she looks over her shoulder from pulling her key out. "Brunch?"
"Two of the most important meals of the day – breakfast and lunch."
She almost snorts at him, her eyes rolling as she sucks in a breath. "I know what brunch means, Rick."
"Oops." He shrugs sheepishly as she shakes her head at him, a smirk beginning to play upon her lips.
"So, brunch date?" His own brows rise as she shoves the key into the hole and pushes her door open, the smile on her lips starting to grow wider.
"Okay, brunch date." She glances over her shoulder at him, lets her smile continue to grow before she's dipping her head and moving inside her apartment, leaving the door open for Rick.
"Oh, you have no idea how good it feels to be out of those clothes." Kate sighs in relief as she pads through her apartment towards her kitchen where she'd last seen Rick.
"Well, nobody would be complaining if you decided to stay in those clothes."
Her head shakes, a small smirk playing at her lips as she rounds the corner to see Rick's back to her.
"Of course you would say that." She sinks her teeth into her bottom lip, pulling it into her mouth as she leans against the doorframe and folds her arms across her chest. "So, what's for brunch then?" Her brow hitches as Rick turns around to face her, his eyes roaming up and down before landing on her face with a smile.
She always looked so beautiful to him – no matter what she was wearing. He rarely got to see her in casual clothes, considering whenever they did spend time together it was during her lunch hour or after she'd clocked off, so she was always wearing her work attire. But he likes seeing her in casual clothes – jeans, ballet flats and a purple sweater. She looked cosy and comfortable, and he felt delighted he got to see this part of her.
"Well, you didn't have much in your fridge or your cupboards." He nods in direction of them and a light blush creeps up the sides of her neck as her hand lifts to scratch the back of her head.
"Yeah, I've been meaning to do some shopping…"
"That's okay. I went and grabbed a few things from the store down the road while you were in the shower. We have pastries, waffles – not homemade, I'm sorry, but the eggs are homemade. The Rick Castle special." He beams at her and she tears her gaze away from him to peer through the kitchen into the small dining room where he's set up the table with all of the foods and her stomach immediately grumbles at the sight.
"It all looks so good, and I can't wait to try the Rick Castle special eggs." She steps forwards as she kinks her brow at him, the smirk on her face growing wider as the pair of them head through to the dining room.
"Oh, you'll love them. I promise." Rick pulls out her seat for her, taking a glance in her direction. "Malady."
She refrains from snorting as she smirks at him again and slips into the chair. "Thank you, sir." She rolls her eyes and he only grins wider as he comes around to sit opposite her.
"Really, it all looks so good, Rick. I can't believe you did all of this while I was in the shower." She laughs slightly, her brows pulling together as she wonders just how long she'd been in there.
He only shrugs as he begins to pour them a glass of orange juice each. "All I really did was put the waffles in the toaster and cook the eggs. The pastries were already premade."
"Still, thank you for this. I'm actually starving." She lets her gaze gloss over the food, wondering where to start first before piling some eggs onto her plate and grabbing a waffle as Rick starts putting food on his own plate.
"Well, I have to go to some efforts for my date." He keeps his gaze on the pastries as he decides which one and Kate can't help the blush that washes across her cheeks and the smile that spreads wide across her face.
She reaches her free hand across the table to where Rick's lays and rests her hand atop of his, earning his head tilting in her direction as blue meets hazel.
She brushes her thumb over his knuckles and smiles at him, her aching heart from all that's happened starting to soften from Rick's company.
They make small talk through brunch, drifting in an out of comfortable silence. And when their bellies are full and the table is nearly cleared, Kate rises to her feet and starts collecting their plates as Rick rises to do the same.
"Hey, no. You cooked, I clean." She swipes at his hand, grabbing the plate he'd been trying to grab. "So, sit. Have some more orange juice." She smirks at him as he frowns and lowers himself back to his seat.
"Usually I would argue, but I think I ate too much."
Kate can't help but laugh as she carries the dishes over to the sink. "You and me both. I think you underestimated just how many of us there were to eat, Rick." She spins round to find him in the doorway leaning against it.
"There's quite a few pastries left over, you could bring some to your dad."
She smiles as she moves towards him. "I think that's a great idea. He hates hospital food, and he'd be delighted if he saw a blueberry muffin or an apple Danish." She hums, her hands coming to rest against Rick's chest and the smile on his face only grows wider.
"I like this you."
Her brow arches at him before her head tilts to the side. "This me?"
"The one that doesn't hold back – isn't afraid to let me in, let me hold her." He lifts a hand to tuck some of her loose curls behind her ear, his other hand wrapping around her back and her eyes dip, the smile on her face growing as she pulls her bottom lip into her mouth, heat beginning to run across her cheeks.
"Well – you deserve more from me, Rick. You deserve a whole lot more." Her head shakes as she swallows and lifts her gaze to meet his.
"So, does this mean there's more dates in our future? Especially with that dress you wore last night, because I think I'd like to see that again. Well, I know I'd like to see that again."
She shakes her head at him, eyes rolling as her smile turns into a smirk. "Yes, this means there will be many more dates. If you're lucky. And maybe you'll get to see that dress again, who knows." She shrugs, moving away from his grip and adding a little more sway in her hips as she rounds the corner into the living room.
