"Let me see her Rose! I have to see her."

"No James, I can't. Please, don't make this any harder."

Helen sunk her teeth into the palm of her hand, trying her best not to call out to James. He'd been unaccountably helpful in the past few years but now that she had hatched her plan, seeing him was dangerous. Especially now when she knew for a fact he ought to have been back in London to receive her tumultuous admission of having slightly inappropriate feelings for him. He wouldn't act on the information for decades to come but they did share a rather spine tingling kiss which kept Helen's hopes alive for all that time.

"You can't deny me this. I have to see her."

"James, please," Rose tried again and Helen curled in on herself. "You're making this hard enough on her as it is."

"Just... Just let me see her, I need to know she's all right."

"I'm fine James," she finally called, hating herself for giving in.

Rose scolded her mentally and Helen bit her lip.

"Helen! Please, let me come in. I just want to... I want to see you again."

"Go back to London. That is where Helen is, where your Helen is," Rose snapped angrily. "Go back to your Helen, James."

There was a pause and again Helen had to fight the urge to emerge from the other side of the door and sweep James into an embrace. She had so missed him in the years since his death and for all she knew she had to hide from him now, the yearning to see him and speak with him again was overwhelming.

She had been so alone these past few years, cut off from almost everyone she had known for fear of disrupting the timeline that had bought her to where she was. Seeing Rose did help to an extent but she was different to the girl who had showed up on her doorstep demanding tea. Time was yet to change her and provide her with a softer edge. At the moment she was pure anger with just an edge of distance in her attitude that Helen was unused to.

To Rose, they had only been friends for a little over a decade which was, in terms of her life, a blip but for Helen it had been so much longer.

"Please Helen, I miss you. Let me help with whatever it is you've decided to spend this vacation working on."

"James!" Rose bellowed finally and Helen turned her head just in time to see the trail of her green velvet skirt whip out the door before the oak swung shut behind her. The wooden door was thick but not so thick that their words were muffled completely.

"Do you not realise how hard this is on her? Can you not see the pain you cause her, James?"

"What right to do you have to keep me away from her though?" he bit back. "Rose, I knew of this before you, if anyone has a right to be with her, to help her adjust-."

"I don't claim to understand what she's going through James and I did not ask for this. Helen came to me because this is how it was supposed to turn out."

"What does that mean? The timeline needs to be altered like this?"

"I don't know!"

Silence fell for a moment and Helen straightened out, pushing her now brilliant red curls back from her face. She couldn't allow James to see her like this, to see her new self. He was smart enough that if he searched he'd probably find her and would track her through this second life despite whatever attempts she would make to cover her tracks. She had to cut all ties with him for as long as it took for her to complete her mission.

Actually, she had to learn to cut ties with everyone, with her entire history and become... become an entirely new entity. She already knew she'd have to return to them all at some point, in need of assistance, but she'd spent weeks carefully constructing a timeline and tracing the movements of those she needed over the course of the next few years. She'd even gone so far as to pick out moments at which her reappearance in their lives would not cause too great of a disturbance.

It probably would not go to plan but it was all she could do for the time being, as much as it hurt.

"Rose please," James said softly. "I know you care for her as much as I do but I have to see her. I miss her..."

"Helen is in London, James," Rose said firmly but with a touch more kindness than before.

"It is not the same and you know it."

"I know."

And then suddenly Helen remembered James' distance, how strange and cold he'd seemed to her at this time. She'd confessed her feelings and, despite the ardent kiss, he'd become even less receptive to gestures of affection. She'd put it down to fear of impropriety or incurring her father's wrath but perhaps it was more because she was not the woman he'd been looking for.

A strange sense of heartache and anger settled inside her and she stood, pushing away from the wall she had huddled against.

"Leave this place James," she called through the door. "Leave now and do no return unless expressly invited to do so."

"Helen-."

"No. Leave James, there is nothing for you here." She took a deep breath. "The woman who loves you is in London, she has no interest in travelling this far into the back end of Wales. Keep it that way."

She could just about picture the disbelief on his face. Never had she been so curt with him, or, at least, not in such a way.

"I... Helen..."

He sounded so dismayed, so disbelieving.

Helen pressed a hand into the wood of the door.

"I'm sorry James," Rose said softly.

Helen waited until she heard the telltale footsteps of James trudging down the stone steps before she opened the door a crack.

Rose flew in quickly, slamming the door shut and pressing her back to it.

"Now, for god's sake Helen, tell me why exactly I had to do that? And what on earth did you do to your hair?"


More flashbacks! Yay! There are a lot of them so hang tight. Next up is main storyline again :)

xx