A week passed and Francis waited for Arthur's return nervously, half expecting him not to show up. He had wondered all week if his conversation with the man had actually been a dream and he was just so deluded that he believed it. Nevertheless he had showered, trimmed up his beard, and put on some of his finest clothes. He had also tried to straighten up his house to the best of his ability all week and it looked almost presentable now.
He got up and checked himself in the mirror for the thousandth time that hour, pausing for a moment since he was still not used to his appearance, and made sure that his tie was straight. 'You're stalling,' his mind told him. 'You're betting on a dream. You have the same chance of him turning up tonight as you do of winning the lottery.' Looking at his reflection he could see the uncertainly clearly in his eyes, swirling and making him slightly dizzy. 'You are just so desperate to win him back that you imagined him coming over, talking to you, and saying that he still loves you.'
"Arthur will come," he told himself. "He promised. I trust him. I know that he was real. I touched him."
'Dreams can be very convincing.'
"That was not a dream!"
'Look at the time.' He did so and saw that it was nearly seven. 'If he was going to come he would have been here by now.'
"The train is late," he reasoned.
'You know that's not true.'
"He's stuck in traffic."
'It's clear as day outside.'
"He's trying to match his shoes to his jacket for once!" he cried out, trying to think of any excuse.
'You know he doesn't care that much. Especially if he's only visiting you.'
Francis put his head in his hands, pulling on his hair.
"He will come. He will! He promised…" He felt tears in his eyes. "He promised…"
'You know very well that he is a liar. Why would you trust him again after everything he did to you?'
"Because I love him…"
'You are a fool.'
"I know…"
His back hit the wall and he slid down it to sit on the floor, putting his head in his knees.
He sat there in silence for a long time, the voice in his head being kind enough to leave him alone, just thinking and waiting.
Just as he was about to give up and go to bed, not without finding himself some cheap alcohol to get drunk off of first since there was no reason left to wait for the man to come back, there was a quiet knock on his door.
His head shot up and banged against the wall behind him making stars pop in front of his eyes but he fumbled to stand up anyway; he had to make sure that he hadn't imagined the sound.
Making his way quickly to the door, he pulled it open.
On the step in front of him was Arthur dressed in crisp dress pants and wearing the shirt Francis had bought him shortly before their fight and in his hands was a large bouquet of roses. He looked up and gave the other a small smile which warmed Francis' heart almost more than he could bear.
"Good evening, Francis. I'm sorry I'm late. My previous errand went long. I hope I didn't keep you waiting…?"
Francis shook his head quickly.
"No! Of course not!" He moved out of the way. "Would…would you like to come in?" he asked hopefully.
The other nodded.
"Yes please." He stepped inside and Francis closed the door behind him before leading him over to the living room. Arthur was shocked by all the changes that had been made in such a short time; the house was clean and Francis almost looked like his old self again. They reached the living room and sat down on the couch, sitting in silence for a long time. He looked down and saw the roses in his lap. "Oh!" he said suddenly. "These are for you." He blushed slightly and held them out.
Francis smiled slightly and took them from him.
"Thank you. They are lovely." He got up and got a vase, filling it with water and returning quickly. Once he was back in the living room, he put the vase on the table in front of them.
"So…" the Englishman started slowly, fiddling with his hands. "I came here tonight to talk to you." Francis nodded to show he was listening. "I owe you an explanation. I told you lies four years ago because I was hurt and have regretted a million times since. I told you I hated your smoking. That was a lie. I never minded your smoking. You did it so rarely and only when you were stressed. I could come home, see you with a cigarette in your hand and know something was wrong. I would come over, brush your hair, and ask you what was on your mind. You would tell me and we would work it out."
"I told you I hated your drinking. That was a lie. You never hurt anyone the few times you were drunk. You were always so careful to avoid getting drunk and would only have a glass or two. We used to drink together at dinner on nights where we would just spend time together, love each other. I saw no problem with your drinking and doctors say red wine is good for you anyway."
"I told you I hated your flirting. That was a lie. I know you only flirt with other people to brighten their day and make them feel loved and appreciated. I should have known you would never do anything to hurt me. Not you. You live to make people happy, nothing else. I don't know how many times I have seen you throw a harmless compliment or two at someone and seeing their entire day light up. I still remember the time I saw you talking to that girl, holding her hand so tightly. I had thought that there was something going on between you two and I confronted you about it later. Of course you denied it but I was too much of a fool to listen. That same girl came up to me later, coming to find you, and I tried to turn her away but she told me what you did. You saved her life. She felt lost to the world and was planning on ending her life but you talked her out of it. Told her how beautiful she was and how smart she was." Arthur looked away. "She still writes to you all the time, sends you a Christmas card every year without fail. I haven't opened any of the letters. They're still waiting for you."
He took a deep breath and forced himself to meet Francis' eyes.
"Francis, I know I have hurt you far worse than anything else. And I know that I do it over and over. I still remember Joan and visit her grave every year. I wait until you leave before paying my own respects. I know you wonder who always lays the lilies on her grave. I confess that to be me. I know that I am stubborn, quick to anger, and don't always act like the best lover but you always stayed. You always would let me win arguments even when I was fighting for something completely ridiculous. You always made me a hot cup of tea after my temper had flared, whether it was directed at you or not, and just held me as I cried and far after my tears had dried. I know I have a hard time remembering anniversaries or being very romantic but you always forgave me and made me feel like the most special person in the world, even on your own birthday. I have never understood why you stayed at my side for all those years but I was extremely grateful for it and always felt blessed to have you as my own. I took you for granted. I realize that now. I wish I hadn't been such a fool four years ago and let another take me away."
He put his hands on his chest, over his heart. "I was so hurt that I didn't even realize just how badly I had hurt you. I wasn't happy with him, not like I had been with you, it was nothing like being with you, but I tried to convince myself that this was what I wanted. You had hurt me so I should be happy and shouldn't care about you anymore but I couldn't stop caring."
He moved his hands to hold Francis' instead. "I never stopped caring. I still love you so much Francis Bonnefoy and I know that this is incredibly selfish of me but I want you back. I miss you. I miss everything about you. I miss waking up with a kiss and even though I was grouchy and didn't want to get up yet just being there with you made it worthwhile. I miss making dinner together, you staying close by to make sure that the food was actually edible. I miss dancing in the middle of the day for no reason other than a good song was on the radio and 'It would be a shame to waste it' as you would say. I miss quick, shared kisses when no one was looking and the quiet giggling afterward whether we were successful or not. I miss our picnics in the summer, our long walks in the fall, our snowball fights in winter, and our days in the spring where we would just sit and look at the blooming flowers. I miss hearing sweet French words at random times during the day and falling asleep in your arms just as you whisper 'Je t'aime toujours, mon petit lapin' in my ear."
He took a deep breath. "What I'm trying to say is that I love you, Francis. I love you so much. I want you back and I broke up with him to try and make that possible. You don't have to take me back. I know I don't deserve it after making you so miserable that you almost killed yourself. I know that I deserve to suffer for the next century for throwing you away and I understand if you don't want me back but I just want you to know how much I love you."
Francis was lost for words.
He had no idea how to respond to everything Arthur had said yet he soon found himself acting without his own consent. He moved closer and looked deep into the other's eyes.
"Arthur," he began, speaking quietly. "Everything you have just said has echoed in my mind a thousand times since you left me. I have missed you so much and my feelings for you never changed. I have been so head over heels in love with you and that can never change. Even you running off with that stupid boy and leaving me behind didn't change my feelings for you. I love you so much and nothing would make me happier than to have you back in my arms."
Tears began to flow slowly down both their cheeks as they leaned forward to share a heartfelt kiss that had been four years overdue.
AN: *crying*
Anyway! France and England are back together! England apologized and France took him back! Not gonna lie, I'm really proud of that speech... I wasn't planning for there to be a speech like that in the story but it made sense for him to act like that rather than just go, 'Oh Francis! I'm so sorry! Please take me back!' 'Of course, Arthur! I love you!' 'I love you too, Francis!' *kiss kiss*
I was going to put one more chapter after this and it was going to be a M chapter but I decided against it (since I couldn't write it). I'm gonna end it here instead. Sorry guys, I can't make it look good so it would be better for it to just be over now. See you guys on the next one!
