We're getting into some serious Delsin feels here everyone, like for real. Major Hurt!Delsin ahead, the boy feels really bad about watching Reggie "die".

Plus he's having nightmares which given what he's seen makes perfect sense that he hasn't gotten a proper night sleep since before the events that happened with Concrete Queen.


Delsin had been awake in his room for 5 long hours before Betty softly knocked on his door.

Ever since the events that happened in Seattle, one would think that he would be right in the middle of things. Trying to bring peace between humans and Conduits, but after Delsin got home, he wanted nothing more then to just crawl into his bed and never get it if it again. Because truthfully, he was tired, he was exhausted, physically and emotionally drained. Physically, because while he won his fight against Augustine and while he had a healing factor that didn't he wasn't still feeling the after affects, no that fight left him sore for some reason that the weight on his body was something his powers couldn't fix. Emotionally, well... that was one of the reasons why he had been awake for so long. For the nightmares refused to let him get a goodnight sleep. Every time he closed his eyes he saw the same thing—

His brother smiling at him, and then falling into the waters below. He'd cry, sobbing brokenly, reaching his hand out, grasping nothing but darkness and when he would wake, a silent scream died on his lips and his hand out be out stretched in the air, his cheeks wet with tears. And then he would just lay there, too exhausted to move and to scared to go back to sleep for fear the nightmares about his brother would return.

This had definitely been one of those nights, which is why he was already up by the time Betty came to get him for breakfast. "Delsin, dear. I made you and your friends breakfast."

Swinging his legs over his bed, Delsin stretched, in an attempt to pretend that he got a full nights sleep for once as Betty opened the door.

He looked at her, a small smile on his lips. Having Betty, along with Fetch and Eugene around made the pain he felt more bearable, somewhat. "Thanks Betty." Standing up, he pecked her on the temple before heading down stairs. There he saw Fetch gorging herself in a mountain of pancakes and a few others American style dishes as well as a few Akomish here and there. "Babe, take a breathe." He chuckled as he leaned against the door frame. "You act like you haven't eaten in decades."

Fetch looked up and glared at him, "'Cew yu, 'Okes."

Delsin snickered, "Okaaaay, I literally got none of that." Fetch swiped her mouth and swallowed the pancakes with the aid of some milk.

"I said 'Screw you, Smokes.' I haven't eaten this much or any remotely this fancy in a long time." Fetch said her voice holding sarcasm and a touch of regret to it.

Delsin nodded, sympathetically. Everything maybe alright now but it had only been a couple weeks ago when things hadn't been. Where Fetch and Eugene were still in Curdun Cay. "I know, Hon." as he crossed the table and gave her a peck on the cheek. Which she returned as well.

"Good. Now if ya 'cuse me I am going to eat until I pass out."

Sitting down on the chair, he gestured for her to continue. "By all means. Continuing eating, my queen." He then looked to Eugene and saw the the kid was simply picking at his breakfast, his eyes glued to his laptop that was laying on the table surround by the untouched food Fetch hadn't eaten yet. Delsin sighed, he had to get this kid out of his computers. Leaning forward, he tapped the Teen on the shoulder. "Can He Who Dwells join the real world for a second to actually eat something before Sniper-ette over here eats it all?"

Eugene, who had his headphones on, was startled by him and accidentally glitched out for a second. "S-Sorry! Um, sorry... what were you saying?" Delsin shook his head, extending his arm he reached a crossed the table and snatched the kid's laptop away.

Eugene immediately tried to grab it back. "Hey, Delsin!"

Delsin held the laptop out of Eugene's reach. "Ah, Ah, Ah! No more gaming for you until you've actually eaten a full meal! None of that baby bird pecking business you've been doing, man." Eugene glared at Delsin, huffing annoyingly, his hands pixelated for a second, but soon he adjusted himself in his chair and did what he was told. "You'll upset Betty if you don't eat her food."

A fond laugh sounded out, turning he saw Betty in the kitchen watching them all with a smile on her face.

"What's so funny?" He asked, curiously.

"Nothing." She stated with a chuckle, taking a glass out of the cabinet and place it in front of him as she poured him a glass of orange juice. "I just was reminded when you first got a cell phone; you'd been thirteen years old and such a rebellious boy even at that age, you refused to put that thing down and Reggie to take it away from you."

And just like that, his mood changed. But he still smiled, despite how sad he was feeling. Lately it seemed that the most happiest memories he recalled about his brother made him feel that much worse. "Did he?" He tried to swallow the sudden lump in his throat but failed "I must have made things pretty hard for him with all ththe trouble I got into." His gaze shifted to his hands, watching them as they clinched into fists and then went slack. "I was such a pain in the ass, how did he not hate me?"

A hand fell on his shoulder, "Delsin, sweetie." Wrinkled fingers gently stroking his cheek. "When your parents came home with you on the day you were born and they placed you in Reggie's arms, he refused to put you down or give you back for hours. He took care of you the moment you needed something, like he knew exactly what you wanted immediately." Bitting his lip, Delsin closed his eyes, his heart physically hurting in his chest at Betty's words. Because yeah, he could see his brother doing something like that. "You're brother loved you very much."

He nodded, because that was true, always had been. "I know, but that's... kinda what got him killed." Delsin felt Betty's arm wrap around his chest, while she laid the side of her face on the top of his head and stroked his hair. Right, lately he hadn't been wearing his signature beanie. Lately he hasn't been doing anything that was reminiscent of the old Delsin. Hell, he hasn't touched his sketch pad since Fetch and Eugene came back with him to Salmon Bay from their weekly patrol in Seattle. Closing his eyes, he leaned into her embrace, but Delsin didn't have it in him to return it.

"You know, D." Fetch's voice was filled with an undertone of empathy and sadness. "Back before I got my powers, Brent use to say that the pain of losin' someone gets better if you talk about them." Looking up, he watched as his girlfriend reached forward and grasped his hand. "I never made an effort to know your brother, all I saw was a cop with a stick up his ass—"

"And—" Eugene interrupted, but trailing off when he realized he cut Fetch off. "A-And I never got to know him at all. I mean he-he was your brother, but I didn't get to know him other then from what I saw of him back in my lair in Seattle. I'd... like to know him a bit more to understand how you're feeling."

They were both looking at him, both wanting to genuinely help and comfort him because they were his friends and they cared about him. But as Delsin opened his mouth to speak he realized that he could, talking about Reggie —even the good memories— hurt, it was a deep, physically and emotional ache in his chest, hell saying Reggie's name hurt. He knew they wanted to help

But he just couldn't do it.

Casting his eyes downward, he bowed his head, feeling ashamed that he was making them worry more. "I'm sorry, guys. But I— I can't. It just... hurts too much." The rest of breakfast was spent in silence, Betty's arms wrapped around him and his friends presence barely holding him together, the food was left forgotten.

After breakfast was cleared, Delsin went back up to bed. He just didn't feel like... well didn't feel like doing anything. Which has been happening a lot as of late. Betty, his friends and the rest of the tribe were all worried, he could tell. The Delsin they were around now was different then the Delsin they saw the first couple of days he came back from his big fight with Augustine. That Delsin had heal his tribe like he'd promised, had smile and laughed genuinely when everyone was fine, had made that memorial for Reggie.

But it was like someone being hyped on too much candy, caused on the Wednesday of that week Delsin just— crashed. The full weight of what happened to Reggie, the full realization that his brother truly and utterly gone must have finally caught up with him and he couldn't handle that.

The nightmares only made things worse.

Delsin didn't even know why he bother to sleep at all when he knew what was going to happened. There were times where he just couldn't help it. Either he'd pass out or Fetch would knock him out. But then he always woke up the same way, his hand outstretched, screaming for his brother.

Delsin slept for an hour before Betty, physically —and so goddamn abrupt that he fell out of bed— forced herself into his room, dragging him up on his feet and pushed him into the sunlight outside. Telling him that he "Wasn't allowed back inside until he had at least three hours worth of fresh air and done something productive." Apparently, she finally had had enough of him laying around lately.

He blinked several times at the slight change of lightly and made his way down the steps, walking was something productive right?

So walking was exactly what he did. He walked to the river, he walked to the high school he attended, to walked to the river, into the woods and he walked to the small playground where he watched the kids from his neighborhood run around and chase each other. The kids, who saw him immediately, ran to him and begged Delsin to play with them, pulling at his arms.

They were so happy to see him, the excitement clear as day on their faces, how could say no to that? He gave them piggybacks rides, showed them a very down graded version of his powers, and even told them stories about his time in Seattle and his defeat of Augustine, though he made sure to leave out all the scary parts and swear words.

They cheered for him, yelling how amazing he was, one little girl— Laura, who he's known and babysat for years, even told him that Sheriff Reggie would be proud of him, and his memorial was very pretty. Delsin had to bite his lip to keep from crying as he hugged the little girl out right. Because they all knew what happened to Reggie and they all knew Delsin was having a hard time, even the kids knew. Seconds later, Delsin found himself in a group hug by the rest of the children.

As the three hours finally past he waved goodbye to the kids and started to make his way back home. Thinking about what Laura had said about his memorial Delsin decided to go take one more look at it.

And he was appalled at what he saw.

What the hell!?

He watched as three workers were taking down the billboard, only to be putting another one in its place. Suddenly Delsin was angry. "Hey!" He shouted running forward and using his Smoke powers to get on the roof of the fish cannery. "What the hell are you guys doing!?" How dare they take something down, something that was the only thing keeping Reggie's memory alive, how dare they!

The workers, who happened to be Akomish, were unafraid of his angry outburst, in fact they seemed happy about it. One of them even said, "There's the Delsin who know and love! It's nice to see another emotion outta you other then just sadness, kid!" The others nodded in agreement and that really didn't help Delsin's annoyance.

Another worker, Virgil who happened to be the father of Laura, patted him on the shoulder. "Simmer down there, firecracker. We were ordered by our boss to take this down a few hours ago. Some guy called it in."

Delsin glared, still clearly unhappy. "By who?" He asked, trying not to sound demanding. For he was going to find this guy and kick the crap outta him for messing with his brother's memorial.

Virgil shrugged, "Some anonymous person."

Clinching his fists together because damn, that could be anybody. Without so much as a name Delsin would be able to find the caller. He didn't stay to see them take the rest of the billboard down, it hurt too much. He wondered aimlessly back home, until he got an idea. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, intending to call Eugene but noticed that he had three missed calls from the teen already, he quickly dialed Eugene's number.

He barely got a word in before Eugene voice practically yelled at him over the other end. "Delsin!"

He winced, "Hey Eugene, sorry for not answering early but I need a favor from you—"

"Delsin, shut up about the billboard and get your ass back here!" Eugene sound both frantic and excited at the exact same time.

The sentence surprised him, it made him paused in his steps. "Wait, you already know about it?"

"Yes! Of course I do, but that doesn't matter right now!"

The anger boiled up in Delsin once again. "Doesn't matter!? Of course it matter, Eugene—"

There was rustling on the other end, "Smokes!" Fetch shouted, it was so abrupt, loud that Delsin froze. "Get your ass back here now, there's something you need to see." That was Fetch's commanding voice, he knew better then to cross her when she sounded like that.

"Yes, ma'ma." He stated, with a nod of his head. The call ended there and Delsin was part confused as to what exactly was going on and part upset that he was being kept out of something that was obviously important, picking up the pace, he used his Neon to get back home quicker.

"Alright!" He called out, jogging up the steps, grasping the handle of the door knob, turning it. "Would anyone care to explain what the hell is—" Delsin paused then, his heart nearly stopped in his chest. "...going on." He finished with a gasp, for when he opened the door, he was face to face with his brother. But that wasn't possible, his brother was dead, plain and simple. So then why was he standing here, smiling at him.

Was he hallucinating?

Had lack of sleep finally caused him to see things that weren't there?

That must be it.

"Re-Reggie...?"

"Delsin..." Reggie said, the smile in his face blinding, nearly causing Delsin's heart to cease beating. "Hey, little brother." He looked to Betty, to try and see if she was seeing the same thing he was, she was smiling, tears in her eyes. And Delsin felt his hands shake, because if Betty was this happy then the person in front of him must be real. But how? He watched Reggie fall, he screamed for him— reaching out to try and save his big brother from plummeting.

But had he been wrong all along? Had his brother still been alive down in Purgut Sound like he thought way back when he nearly drowned just to get to him— in a desperate attempt to save him from the loss he felt? Had Delsin actually left him there afterwards? Abandoned him for weeks only for him to turn up now?

And the younger Rowe felt like he couldn't breathe when that thought crossed his mind. He physically couldn't get any air into his lungs and he choked, his knees quivered as he felt his legs give out, his vision darken and his mind went blank.

The ground underneath him broke and he was dangling over the edge of the concrete structure that Augustine had built, frantically trying to pull himself up along with his brother because he couldn't lose Reggie too, he couldn't .

"I love you, bro."

Then he was screaming, a earth shattering roar erupted from his throats as he took out his heartache on Augustine in a fit of overwhelming rage.

Reggie

Reggie...

WHY!?

"—sin! Delsin!"

He awoke with a jerk, sitting up immediately, as a choked wail tore passed his lips as he felt tears in his eyes, his heart hammering against his chest.

"Hey Delsin, you alright?" A familiar voice filled Delsin's ears and he stiffened as he looked up a saw Reggie's face looking at him with such concern. No... he had— He had to be dreaming. This was just another nightmare, right? Just another cruel joke his mind was playing in him to deepen his guilt that he already felt so strongly. There was just no possible way that—

Delsin's his world shook when he felt Reggie place his hands on his shoulders, feeling the solidarity of those hands as they grounded him to reality. "Hey, you with me, brother?"

The tears came then, fast and so abrupt it left Delsin reeling. His heart ached at the possibly that this was real, his breathe hitching in his throat as he reach forward and grasped at Reggie's coat, bowing his head in joy and sadness when he found that it was real his like the rest of him. "Re-Reggie..."

Immediately, Delsin felt those familiar arms encase him in warmth. "Aw, little bro..." He heard Reggie whisper against his ear as he drew him closer, rubbing his back and stroking his hair. "You're alright, Del. I'm here."

Another choked wail tore from his throats and Delsin returned the embrace, tight and fiercely, gripping the back of Reggie's coat as he cried, sobbed, his entire body trembling violently. "Re-Reggie— I thought you were dead!" He sobbed, burying his face into the croak of his brother's shoulder. "I'm sorry, if I had just listened—"

"Hey." Reggie said soothingly as he parted just enough to look him in the eyes. "None of that, Del. I don't blame you for what happened." The forgiveness in his brother's eyes shined through, clear as day.

Delsin launched himself back into the comfort of his big brothers arms, because of course Reggie wouldn't blame him for what happened, that's just who Reggie was. "You— You were gone, Reggie! I watched you fall and then I almost killed Hank because he fucking sold us out! And I didn't know how to deal with it all!" The anger he felt towards Hank back then almost made him into a killer, but he knew that that was the last thing Reggie would have want him to become.

"I missed you so much, ciye!" Delsin never was into the Akomish customs, ironically even though he and Reggie were part of the tribe. He was all for looking out for one another and the family aspect of their tribe, but other then that it just never was his style to act like them— but that didn't mean there weren't moments in his life where his Akomish nature would shine through the cracks, the translation for brother in their native tongue, always sounded alright to him. But this happened only where he was babbling and inconsolable.

Which made sense now.

"Hey, shh. Its alright, little brother." He felt his big brother turn to the side and lay them both back on the bed, making sure to not break contact with Delsin for even a second. "I'm fine, I'm right here." And Delsin clung to his side, feeling only slightly embarrassed because he was certainly not a fucking kid anymore but right now he really couldn't bring himself to care as he proceeded to bury his face in Reggie's chest and continued to cry like he did back when they first lost their parents. "I've got you. And I'm not going anywhere, Del."

"I missed you, man." Delsin whimpered grasping Reggie's leather jacket as if it were a life line. His body quivering and his heart aching. "I took you for granted, over and over again, I'm so sorry. I love you, Reggie." These words were 100% true and from his heart. The younger Rowe felt his brother tighten the hug and Reggie, placed a soft, chaste kiss on the top of his head now they both were in the nostalgic space of being children again.

"I know." Reggie said quietly as quiet, equally as emotionally unstable. "I love you too, Delsin. Always have."

It wasn't long after before Delsin felt the pull of sleep calling him, it seemed to grasp him by the ankles and was insistent on pulling him to dreamland, getting so overwhelmingly emotional always did take a tole on him. But he didn't want to go to sleep, he's had two weeks of none stop nightmares, he didn't want to have anymore, he was tired. "Reggie..." He shifted slightly and tried to stay awake, but Reggie seemed to sense this and pulled him closer, cradling the back of his head and gently patted his back.

"It's alright, Delsin. Go to sleep, baby brother." Reggie's voice soothed his rapid breathing. "I'll be right here when you wake up, I promise."

And that's all it took before Delsin relaxed and fell asleep. Feeling confident that even if he had nightmares that woke him up with a silent scream on his lips and his heart aching that Reggie would be there to chase them away, just like he always did. Because Reggie was his big brother, he was the best in the world, and Delsin was never going to take him for granted ever again.


Ah the reunion, I've been waiting to write this ever since i first started this story. Betty is a comforting, helpful grandma/guardian, Fetch is a happy understanding girlfriend, Eugene is awkward nerd that just wants his only male friend to be himself again.

Delsin is a sad little Conduit and Reggie is as supportive, affectionate and loving as he always is towards his little brother.

I always thought that was so amazing, that even when they argued, and disagreed, you could tell that Delsin depended on Reggie a lot, he says so any times in the game "Reg? Reg, I really need you!" and "Reggie, man. I need you!" Delsin may have been in his brother's shadow and was even possibly jealous of his success but truly that didn't matter to him because there is no one more important in his life other then his big brother.

A penny for your thoughts? Please, leave it in a comment, tell me what you liked and I'll see you all soon.