THESSIA
The service for Dara was small and intimate. Valya felt numb through the whole thing. Shepard stayed by her side, it is something the human has been doing for the past week. Shepard, Arelia and Akira have taken turns sleeping on the couch at Valya's so the former commando is not alone during this difficult time.
Valya is grateful for the company but at the same time she wants to be left alone though right now she knows she is not in the best state of mind to be alone. The hardest part about attending her bondmate's service was the fact that her daughter was not able to attend. Dava is still in the hospital. Her daughter woke briefly while Valya was sitting with her which shocked her. The doctors increased the dosage and just like that Dava was asleep again before Valya could even say one word. When she asked what happened the doctors didn't really give her a very good answer, they just left whispering amongst themselves.
Atalia attended the service in a hover chair. The lead detective still cannot fully walk on her own but she made an appearance, something Valya was grateful for. The former commando could not help but spot her partner and Akira talking. Akira looked upset and on the verge of tears, but when Valya looked around everyone looked that way so she has no idea what was said between the two.
Now, a day after laying her bondmate to rest, Valya is sitting on her bed alone in her bedroom while Arelia is in the family room. The detective cannot remember a time when she felt so empty or so completely tired. She looks at Dara's side of the bed as her eyes sting and her throat tightens. She feels as if she has been crying for weeks and weeks.
Something catches her eye; it is coming from the closest. Valya stands and opens the door the rest of the way. One of Dara's dresses is not quite hanging right, the hanger is stuck. Valya's hand feels the soft fabric and Valya is instantly thrown into a memory.
Candlelit dinner…wine…music….slow dancing on the dance floor….the feel of her skin…the sound of her voice…the way her eyes lit up when she laughed
Valya takes the dress out of the closest and lays it on Dara's side of the bed. Then she moves to the other side of the bed and lies down caressing the dress.
Getting home….the taste of her tongue…the feel of her soft lips…her touch…her breasts…her moans…
Crying now, Valya lays her head on the dress. She inhales her bondmate's scent. Her tears fall hard now as she realizes that even her scent is starting to disappear. "How am I supposed to go on without you?" She cries until there is nothing left in her. Her exhaustion takes her and she falls asleep cuddling with the empty dress.
Shepard and Liara are in the family room waiting for everyone to join them.
"Come on girls we are waiting," says Shepard.
Raina, Mia, Eva and Little A all squeeze together and sit on the couch facing their parents. Liara is sitting in a chair while Shepard is standing.
"What's going on?" asks Little A. She has healed nicely from the window shattering incident.
"Your mother and I want to talk to you." She looks to Liara who gives her a small smile and a nod. Shepard turns her attention to their children. "We know this past week has been difficult for all of us, especially yesterday at the service. I know I have not been here as much I as I would like but I am helping Valya. I hope you all can understand that." Shepard sees Mia cross her arms.
"I have learned more information regarding this Shadow person."
"That's the one who attacked grandpa right?" asks Eva.
"That's right. I am working with Samara and the Thessia Police Department to help catch her."
"Why?" asks Mia. All eyes snap to her.
"What?"
"Why you?"
"Mia," Liara gives her daughter a warning tone.
"No I'm serious." Mia stands. "Why do you have to always just run away and save the day Dad why?"
"Mia T'Soni!" Liara is out of her chair. "You will not speak to your father like that do you hear me? I am tired of your attitude young lady."
"Well I guess it's good that I am leaving then!"
Eva gasps a little. Raina and Little A exchange looks but say nothing.
Shepard touches Liara's arm. "Everyone let's just calm down." She looks at her daughter, "What are you talking about Mia?"
"Like you even care."
"That's it!" Liara moves quickly at Mia. The asari takes Mia's arm and squeezes hard, "You get up to your room right now and do not come back down until you speak to your father and me with the respect we deserve!" Liara nearly pushes Mia up the stairs.
Without another word Mia runs upstairs and slams her door shut.
Shepard can see Liara is visibly shaking. She walks over to her bondmate, takes her hand and leads her to the chair in the family room to sit down. She looks at her daughters, "Anyone know what that was about?"
Eva and Little A look at Raina.
The oldest speaks, "While you were on Tuchanka, Mia signed with the Vancouver Storm. She leaves in ten days."
"What?"
"She wanted to tell you but the timing has been off and …well you haven't been home a lot Dad."
"That is not fair Raina," says Liara. She has gathered some of her composure back. "A friend of ours has died."
"I know Mom I know…I told her to tell you."
Shepard narrows her eyes at Raina, "What else is going on?"
Raina swallows. "She thinks you two are lying about the attack on grandpa."
"Lying? About what?"
"She says that the Ardat-Yakshi was most likely after her but grandpa and Little A were here instead. She thinks she is the target because of what happened with Elina." Raina starts to tear up, "She feels like it might be her fault."
"What?" asks Liara covering her mouth with her hand.
"That's ridiculous," says Shepard. She places her hand on Liara' shoulder. "Why would she think that?"
"I think you need to speak to Mia about that."
Shepard takes a deep breath and lets it out. "Okay." She turns to Liara and holds out her hand. "Let's go talk to her." She turns to her other daughters. "We will talk with all of you later."
Shepard and Liara walk upstairs. Outside of Mia's room Shepard gives Liara and quick hug and kiss.
"What was that for?"
"I love you Liara. Are you ready for this?"
Liara swallows. She squeezes Shepard's hand, "Can I say no?"
Shepard laughs a little. "Here we go." The retired Captain knocks on the door. "Your mother and I would like to speak with you Mia, can we come in?"
They wait.
Finally the door is opened. Mia looks like she has been crying.
"Can we come in?" asks Shepard.
Mia nods and walks back into her room. She plops down at the head of her bed. Liara sits in the desk chair while Shepard stands by the foot of the bed.
"First. I want to apologize for not being home. Your Aunt Valya is going through a very difficult time right now and I felt it important that I be there for her. Having said that, I did not see how the loss of Dara was affecting you Mia and for that I am sorry."
Mia looks away. She wipes at her cheek.
"Second. You do not speak to your mother or to me in that manner again. Is that clear?"
"Y.." Mia clears her throat, "Yes. I'm sorry."
Shepard lets out a breath. "Good. Third. And for this I need you to stand up young lady."
Mia looks between her father and mother.
"Come on."
Mia slowly stands.
Shepard holds out her hand for Liara to take. Liara takes it and stands next to her. "Third, your mother and I want to congratulate you on signing with the Storm that is fantastic honey." Shepard throws her arms around her daughter and squeezes tight. She lifts Mia up off the ground. "You did it honey you really did it."
When she sets her down Liara approaches. She waits for Mia to give her permission. Mia holds out her arms. Mother and daughter embrace.
"We are so proud of you honey," says Liara. "We love you, we love you so much."
Shepard watches the two asari start to cry. Tears of joy beat tears of sorrow any day.
When the two of them part from their hug Mia says, "I didn't know when to tell you."
Shepard puts her arm around her daughter, "Well it's like you said, I haven't been home." She sits on the bed pulling Mia with her. Liara takes the chair again. "What is this about you feeling responsible for the attack on grandpa?"
"Raina told you?"
"That's all she told us. Can you tell us the rest?"
Mia is quiet.
"Honey we are not lying to you," says Liara. "We do not know why Shadow attacked your grandfather."
"Why do you think she was after you?" asks Shepard.
"It just makes sense."
"What does?"
"Elina wanted me. Dava wanted me and now this Shadow person wants me."
"Honey," says Liara scooting the chair closer so she can take her daughter's hand, "Elina wanting you and Dava wanting you are not the same thing. Dava loved you honey. Do not mistake that for what Elina wanted."
"Yeah Sport," says Shepard. "And the police have their theories, but until they catch Shadow we do not know why she showed up here. She might have just wanted to fight a Matriarch to see how she would measure up."
Mia looks up between her Mom and Dad. "Do you really think that's true?"
Shepard shrugs her shoulders, "Why not?"
"The point is honey," says Liara, "none of this is your fault."
"But something happened to her Mom, something bad. She has never been the same since that day and you know it."
"What happened to Dava is not your fault. It wasn't your fault 80 years ago and it certainly isn't your fault now."
"Your mother's right. It is not your fault; you have to stop thinking that."
"I just…I just feel selfish."
"Why?" asks Shepard.
"Because I have this great news and I finally get to follow my dream and this happens. I feel like it's ruined and that I probably shouldn't even go." Mia hangs her head and crosses her arms.
Shepard and Liara exchange looks.
"What you have accomplished Mia is a dream come true. Of course you are still going," says Liara.
"But what about Dava?"
"What about Dava?" asks Shepard.
"Is she going to be okay?"
"We can hope for the best honey, that's all we can do. It is out of our hands."
"Honey, Dava is not your responsibility," says Liara, "you know that right?"
Mia looks away.
"Honey?"
"It feels like it is. I mean ever since the shack…she….well she is all alone." Mia starts to cry.
Shepard puts her arm around her. "She is not alone Mia. She has her father and she has the rest of this family. You leaving for Vancouver does not change that."
"I wish I could talk to her ya know? I mean what is going to happen to her?"
"We don't know. But let me tell you something." Shepard waits until her daughter makes eye contact. "This situation is not your responsibility. Do not take that on your shoulders because it is not your burden to bear. Do you understand what I am saying?"
"It's not that easy."
"I know…I know." Shepard holds her close again. "I think we should celebrate!" Shepard suddenly stands and claps her hands together.
"What?"
Liara stands. "Your father's right. We need to have a celebration. Then we can make a list of everything you need before you go. We can go shopping."
"Get you new gear if you need it," says Shepard.
Mia is smiling for the first time since Shepard and Liara got home from Tuchanka.
"So what do you say? You want to go out or order in?" asks Shepard.
Mia stands, her tears are gone. "Can we order in from that pasta place?"
"Yes!" Shepard claps her hands together. "I was so hoping you would say that. I love that place!"
"I know Dad." Mia rolls her eyes.
Shepard pulls her into a hug then extends her hand for Liara. They all hug and laugh. "We love you so much honey. Liara, you place the order and I will go pick it up."
"Aye Aye Captain."
I feel like I am floating in the middle of an ocean but I am not floating I am underwater. I am trying to get to the surface, Goddess how I am trying. But something keeps pulling me down. I need to get away. Need to get away from the voice within. The voice that wants me to obey. I cannot. I will not. I will not hurt the one I love. I won't do it. Even if I am left here suspended in nothingness. Mom where are you? Dad where are you? I'm coming. I'm coming.
"How is Valya doing?"
"I'm not sure Akira. She has not come out of her bedroom since this morning."
"Okay Arelia. I will take it from here, thank you."
"Have you heard any news regarding the search for Shadow?"
"Just that Sara and Naava are working with the Justicar. They believe they have found one of Shadow's followers but she has not led them to her."
"I see."
"You want to stay for dinner?"
"No thank you. I need to get home to Miranda and the kids. I will be taking over for Shepard in the morning. She called and asked if I could cover for her."
"Oh? Is everything all right?"
"Yes. She just wants to spend more time with her family."
"Makes sense. Have a good night Arelia."
"You too."
Akira watches Arelia's sky car take off then closes and locks the front door. She pulls out the take out cartons and dishes out the food onto plates. She quickly sets the kitchen table and places the plates filled with food at each setting.
Akira knocks on Valya's bedroom door. "Valya? It's Akira. I brought dinner."
Silence.
"Valya?"
Silence.
"I'm coming in." Akira slowly opens the door. It looks like a tornado has hit the room. There are clothes strewn all around the room, on the bed, on the floor, popping out of dresser drawers. "Valya?
Akira hears something coming from the adjacent bathroom. She slowly looks in.
She sees Valya on the floor surrounded by clothes. "Valya? Valya honey what are you doing?" Akira kneels down facing her.
The detective looks like she hasn't slept. Her face is pale, her eyes are blood shot. She did not look this bad yesterday at the service.
"I….I can't smell her anymore."
"What?"
Valya holds up the pile of clothes in her arms, "Her scent. It's disappearing. She's already disappearing." Valya holds the clothes close.
"Oh Valya." Akira reaches out to touch her arm.
"I'm not ready…I'm not ready…"
"For what? Your not ready for what?"
"Being alone." Valya cries into the wad of clothes in her arms.
Akira hugs her, "You are not alone Valya."
They sit in silence on the bathroom floor for another hour. Akira holds Valya until she falls asleep. The medical examiner clears a space on the bed. She lowers Valya onto the bed using her biotics. While she sleeps, Akira picks up the clothes. She hangs the dresses and folds the shirts and tries to put them back where she feels they belong.
Akira sits in the chair in the corner when she hears Valya.
"Akira?"
"I'm here, I'm right here. What do you need?" Akira is at her side touching her shoulder.
"Hold me?"
Akira bites her lower lip. She starts to take a step back when Valya catches her wrist.
"Please Akira, just hold me?" Valya moves to the center of the bed.
Akira slowly climbs on the bed then wraps her arm around Valya's waist. The medical examiner closes her eyes and takes a mental picture with her mind. Her body suddenly feels alive and wants more. She squeezes Valya close. She wants to remember everything about this moment.
"Thank you," Valya says in a whisper.
Akira feels Valya's hand on hers. The asari lets her head drop forward to rest her forehead on Valya's shoulder. "You sleep now, I'm here."
Akira concentrates on her own breathing hoping her rush of desire passes.
After a while she feels Valya relax and hears her breathing turn to deep inhales and exhales. Akira lets herself relax. She soon joins the detective in slumber.
"Now that we finished all of the pizza, what do you want to do now?" asks Little A.
They have been celebrating Mia's success by eating take out from their favorite pasta place.
"We could play skyball," says Eva. "It's a beautiful night out."
"Nah, I'm tired," says Mia.
"Well we can't stop the party now, it's just getting started," says Aethyta as she takes another sip of Ryncol.
"We could watch a vid," says Raina.
"Let's play this," Eva holds up a skyball video game. "I'll be the Storm."
"I'm on Eva's team!" says Little A. They grab the controllers. "Come on you two, we are so going to beat you."
"Yeah yeah we shall see," says Mia as she and Raina each grab a controller.
They are all squeezed on the couch controllers in hand ready to start the match.
"Seriously?" says Aethyta to Shepard and Liara, they are in the kitchen watching the kids. "A video game?"
Shepard nudges her shoulder, "Hey they are pretty fun."
"Uh huh."
"You should try it Dad, you might like it."
"No thanks. I like things in the real world."
They watch the kids play for a bit.
"I cannot believe Mia is going to be gone so soon," says Liara.
Shepard puts her arm around her shoulder, "You make her list yet?"
"Not yet."
"List?" asks Aethyta.
"Liara wants to make a list of everything Mia needs before she goes."
"Do we get tickets?"
Shepard and Liara look at each other, "Don't know, I hope so."
"Oh Elly, we will have to bring the family to Vancouver to see her play."
"Well the home opener for sure," says Aethyta. "I want in on that action."
"Consider it done," says Shepard.
"Do you really think it is safe right now for her to leave?" asks Liara.
"It might be the best thing. If Mia is a target, she will be safe in Vancouver."
"Unless the bitch follows her," says Aethyta.
"Thanks Dad."
"What'd I say?"
They hear a knock on the door.
All three exchange looks. "That's odd," says Shepard. "It's awfully late for a guest."
Shepard checks the monitor and sees Samara at the front door. She opens it.
"Samara? What's going on?"
"Dava escaped the hospital."
