AUTHOR'S NOTE: WHAHOOOOOOOOOOOO! An update! Damn I hate being in a difficult course. It leaves me with hardly any time to write here. Now add in family problems and you can easily see why my updates are so infrequent. Good news is I'm got a week long study break to write, bad news is I got a 2500 word essay on global warming due on 10 September so fuck it! This update isn't very long, but its content is very important. Also the atmosphere is extremely down and deep, as opposed to the light hearted feel of the rest of the story so just a small warning about that. Once again thank you for all the reviews and I hope this chapter earns me more!
XXX
When I first saw you I already knew
There was something inside of you
Something I thought I'd never find
Angel of mine
I look at you (looking at you) looking at me
Now I know why they say the best things are free
Gonna love you 'til the end of time
Angel of mine
What you mean to me you'll never know
Deep inside I need to show
You came into my life sent from above
Better than a dream, such a perfect love
And I'll adore you 'til the end of time
Angel of mine
Why was he even listening to such shit? Damn. Cloud, my boy you have officially cracked, he thought to himself as the buggy him and his mother had rented bumped on the dirt road.
The date was December 20. Cloud and his mother had departed from Midgar and made their way towards Junon, where they had caught a barge to Costa De Sol, from which they had rented the buggy to drive to Nibelheim.
Cloud wanted nothing more than to remain in Costa De Sol, although his mother was having none of that. She had firmly stated that despite being single for nearly fifteen years, she had no wish to ogle at the near nude Adonises at Costa De Sol, as well as threatening to castrate him and donate his organ to charity.
Cloud wondered exactly which charity organisation took chopped off genitals as donations, but figured seeing as Tifa was going to be at Nibelheim, he may as well try to make the most of the trip.
"Cloud, please take those damn things out of your ears, I wanna talk to you," his mother's voice.
"About what Ma?" Cloud snapped, irritably pulling one earphone out of his ear.
"I don't know, anything!" Mrs Strife replied. "I hate sitting in a car with a mute son!"
"Say what?!" Cloud exploded.
"Cloud you mean to tell me listening to Eternal like some angsted up teenager is more important than listening to your mother?!" Mrs Strife sounded outraged.
"I always listen to you Ma!" Cloud said, equally outraged.
"You never speak to me anymore!" She accused. Her blue eyes turned sad. "I feel as if I'm losing you Cloud."
His anger evapourating instantly, Cloud reached his hand out to take hers. "I'm sorry Ma," he said softly. "I didn't realise."
Mrs Strife sniffed. "It's not your fault honey. I guess I'm just used to having my little chocobo being there for me all the time. You probably won't realise this until you have kids of your own, but its difficult to watch you grow up. While a part of me wants to see you stand on your own two feet and be the man I know you're growing up to be, another part of me just wants you to stay the little kid who would always send me off to work with home-made lunch and a kiss."
Cloud looked down at his hands, feeling ashamed of the fact that he had been neglecting his mother, and not even knowing it.
"But you know what Cloud?" She said, turning towards him with a smile.
"Yeah..." He said uncertainly.
"I think that you've turned out pretty good given the circumstances. I miss the young boy you used to be, but I'm proud of the man you've become. I'm more proud of you than you know and that pride...outweighs the longing for the boy you were. I won't say anything cheesy like 'you'll always be my little boy', because you won't. You aren't my little boy anymore, not even now, in fact you haven't been for a very long time now. But I'll always love you and be proud of you no matter what. Always remember that Cloud." Tears were beginning to well up in her eyes.
Mrs Strife was not an overly emotional woman that would cry constantly. Her life had forced her to become a strong, fierce and independant woman. The tears that now leaked from her pure, sky-blue eyes, were not shed from sadness or longing, they were shed from a fierce pride and happiness. This woman had seen her fair share of difficulty, but she had risen above and conquered them, where a weaker woman would have fallen under the pressure. She may not be 'living the life' but what she had accomplished made it all worth it.
She squeezed her son's hand within her own. Cloud squeezed back, finding a similar smile on his own face. His mother was proud of him, and for fuck's sake, he was proud of her too.
"I love you Ma, and nothing will ever change that!" He vowed softly.
XXX
Snow had just begun falling when Cloud and his mother pulled up in front of their old house. The graystone streets and houses were being covered in the fluffy white flakes. Cloud was never one given to nostalgic aesthetics, but even he had to admit Nibelheim resembled a very picturesque town from those old Christmas stories.
As he opened the car door and stepped out to regard his old home for the first time in a long while, Cloud felt a rush of memories flood his mind. Everything looked virtually unchanged from when he last said goodbye to it. The house was still a moderately sized, stone building with one floor. The windows were covered with cheap, but pretty curtains and while the house had no front yard, a stone well stood in front of it. Although the well was never used (thank god for indoor plumbing), it added to the homely feel of the town.
Though he was loathe to admit it, he was glad to be home.
While Mrs Strife went about unlocking the front door, Cloud felt his gaze wandering to the house next door. Although it was built from the same graystone as every other building, this house was much grander. It was large and had two floors. The window panes were decorated with red paint that matched the roof.
This was where Tifa had lived, Cloud thought to himself. Briefly wondering if the girl was home, he remembered she had told him she would only arrive in Nibelheim on Christmas Eve.
Before he could turn away, the front door open and the Mayor of Nibelheim stood in the threshold.
A man in his waning years, his hair and beard almost matching the falling snow. Despite his obvious old age, he seemed fairly strong, standing tall and his shoulders square. He looked up and caught sight of Cloud and smiled.
"Ah young master Strife. Good to see you back in Nibelheim!" He greeted.
"Mayor Lockheart!" Cloud greeted back with a smile. "How are you?"
The mayor gave a gruff snort. "Never knew you knew what my surname was boy!" He answered. It was a well-known fact around Nibelheim that Mayor Lockheart was rather...eccentric (read fucked up).
Come to think of it, Cloud had absolutely no idea what the mayor's surname was until he met Tifa.
"I didn't," he said finally, figuring he may as well say something. "But I met Tifa, and she told me she's your granddaughter."
The mayor's eyes widened. "So you've met my granddaughter have you?"
He looked around, as if afraid of being overheard, then walked closer to Cloud.
"Cloud, I don't mean to sound like an overprotective grandfather, but stay away from that girl," the mayor's voice had lost all of its gruffness and he sounded serious and sincere. "Believe me, I'm ashamed to admit it but assossiating with her will only lead you into trouble."
Cloud must have looked visibly shocked at this proclamation, as the mayor shook his head in sorrow.
"Believe me Cloud, she's my granddaughter, I know her better than anyone," the mayor concluded.
"Cloud, you gotta help me get all this stuff inside!" Mrs Strife called.
"Well then," the mayor's gruff manner had returned. "I'll leave you to it."
With that he walked back into his house with a glance back. While a very confused Cloud went to help his mother off load the car.
XXX
Cloud puffed away at his cigarette, trying his best to ignore the biting cold of the mountain air.
He sat outside, in the small alley between his and the mayor's house, smoking away. He shivered a little, thinking he had reached an all-time low.
"Well, Cloud. Looks like you're finally an addict now!" He muttered to himself through chattering teeth.
"You should quit now, before you're an old sod like me and dependant on the stuff!"
Cloud looked around in alarm to see the mayor walking stiffly towards him.
"What? No respect for your elders boy! Move your skinny ass up so I can sit!" The mayor barked.
"Oh right!" Cloud sputtered instantly shifting up along the box he had been sitting up.
Mayor Lockheart grunted his gratitude and lowered himself onto the overturned box.
"Got a light?" He grunted, pulling out a cigarette as Cloud hastily dug one out. He lit it and took a deep drag of his cigarette.
"Where's your mother?" The old man asked.
"She's sleeping," Cloud replied quickly. "She's pretty worn out from the trip."
The mayor grunted in response.
"So you've met Tifa huh?" He said after a while.
Cloud hesitated a moment before answering. "Haven't we spoken about this already Mayor?"
"Oh for fuck's sake!" The mayor groaned. "Enough with all this 'Mayor' shit. Call me Cid. By the way my last name's Kramer, my son took my ex-wife's last name after our fight."
Cloud said nothing, just took a long puff from his cigarette. Cid looked at him with a gruff half smile. "You're not gonna ask what happened."
"It's not really my place sir. I'm sure you don't want to talk about it to me. I barely even know you!" Cloud replied in shock.
Cid gave a coarse laugh. "You remind me a lot of myself kid. Too goddamn considerate for your own good! Thinking about everyone else's needs and wants so much that sometimes you forget that maybe all they want to do is talk!" He gave another rough laugh, but this one was sad and humourless. "Maybe if I knew that before, thing's between me and Edea might've-" he broke off slightly. "But that's neither here nor there."
Cloud caught on to what Cid was trying. The elder man wanted to talk about his problems, he needed someone to confide in, but his pride would not permit him to outright say it.
"What happened between you and your son sir?" Cloud asked slowly.
Cid grinned. "Well it's a long story Cloud and it's pretty cold out and your cigarette's nearly burnt out. You sure you wanna hear it?"
Cloud nodded. Cid wasn't making it easy for him, but he understood the tru meaning of the question. Cid wasn't asking him about the weather, he was asking him if he would consent to listening to the story of an old man's mistakes.
"This isn't just one incident. In fact this is a story that goes to way back before my son was even born!" Cid began. "I've only known Nibelheim my entire life. My family didn't have a lot of money. I was quite a character in my young days, believe me. Then I met Edea, the woman who would become my wife. I cannot explain to you how she changed my life Cloud!" Cid said turning towards him.
Cloud didn't know what to say to that. "She must have been beautiful sir!"
Cid laughed a little. "She sure was. Tall, long black hair. I see her face everytime I look at my granddaughter. Damn I was enchanted! It started off a challenge, I would show everyone that me, a fucked-up young upstart could make a beautiful woman like that mine. I only realised I was in love when it was too late. We began courting, and got married within three months. I was twenty and she was nineteen!"
Cloud could not believe he was hearing this. Why was Cid even telling him all these things.
"But, we fucked up. We were too young. Before I knew it I started resenting the fact that other guys my age were out having fun, drinking, smoking and who knows what else, while I was stuck at home with my wife. She was pregnant at the time and Tifa's father was born soon after. By the time he was a year old we would argue constantly and a fight would start at the drop of a hat. I would hit her and she would hit me." Cid's eyes had gone hollow as he spoke those words. "We decided after a while that it wasn't fair to either of us and to our child to continue with our marriage. We got divorced and my son was sent to an orphange! Neither of us knew how to raise a kid. What kind of an influence would I be?"
He looked at Cloud expectantly. But the younger man only hung his head. "I...don't know what to say sir," he said.
"I never saw him again until he was fifteen, almost a man by then. All the same, he accepted me back into his life. I guess he was happy to have a father-figure for a while, but he soon realised I wasn't the father he wanted. I had just taken up the post of mayor at the time and didn't have spare time to spend with him. Before I knew it he was married and Tifa was born soon after!
"We still got along, reasonably. I loved that little girl more than anything! Even as young as she was I saw my ex-wife in her, and more of myself than I wanted to. When the child was eight years old, her mother died as well and he took off to Midgar and took her with him. They came to visit of course, but those visits became fewer and further between. I found myself longing for the child more and more with each passing day. When I found out what shit she was getting up to as she got older, I tried to intervene. But her father was having none of that. He told me that she was his child and he would decide what she could and couldn't do and that I didn't know how to be a parent and that I was never a father to him, so I shouldn't try and discipline her because I didn't know what I was talking about." The old man looked on the verge of tears as he recalled that argument. "I wish I could take back some of the things I said that day. He took off and broke off all contact with me for the last two years. But I began missing Tifa more and more each day. And her father too, but my pride wouldn't let me apologise, until a few days ago when I couldn't take it anymore, so I called him and asked for forgiveness and that's why they're coming for Christmas." He looked at the young man beside him with bright eyes.
Cloud, now understanding what had happened, was at a loss. His mind was reeling from all these revelations. "I'm so sorry sir. But what does this have to do with me and Tifa?"
Cid shook his head with a sad smile. "I love that girl Cloud. I'm afraid to say though that she is more like me than I would want her to be. And you've just heard my life's story, think about that!"
As abruptly as he came, Cid stood up and left Cloud sitting in the alley.
XXX
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Not one, but two deep conversations? Dafuq? I don't know what's happening to me hahahaha. Anyway next chapter is Christmas time, don't worry I highly doubt it will be up in the festive season, but we're looking at mid-October (let's be realistic here!). Anyway unusual cameo for Cid and Edea, but I figured Edea looks a bit like Tifa (Hot, long black hair and abnormally busty). I'm starting work on the next chapter immediately as my block seems to passed so let's hope I can finish it fast! Cheers!
