"No, amar conjugates to amo, amas, ama, and aman." Jonas explained to Dima as they sat on his bed. Since his mother had insisted on him learning Spanish from a young age he easily agreed to tutor Dima. They had been sitting on his bed for hours but every time they started doing work, Dima would get off topic.
"So, it's love, I lovo, you lovas, he lova." Dima joked, moving her arms in big motions to make sure he knew she was joking.
"Are you going to do that for every verb?" Jonas was getting a little annoyed, understandably, but Dima just didn't like Spanish.
"Let's go do something, let's go board or get food." Dima tried to convince him.
"You're cute when you try to avoid work." Jonas said, holding onto Dima's chin and shaking his head in slight disbelief. Dima's smile widened when Jonas grabbed his jacket, prompting her to grab her own.
"So, what're we going to do?" Dima skipped out of the building.
"You're the one who wanted to go do something, you decide what it is." Jonas raised his eyebrows to Dima.
"Do you know anyone who's 18?" Dima kept walking.
"Not someone who's going to buy us booze on a Thursday night." Jonas shut her down.
"Do you still have that stash of greens?" Jonas had never seen Dima seem interested in smoking so this made him a little excited.
"Isak still has it but he should be home." With that in mind the two made their way uptown.
"Have you ever smoked greens before?" Jonas wanted to be sure how much help she would need that night.
"Yeah, you could say I've smoked it a few times." Dima giggled as she answered, knowing she had made it a habit in her previous year of school.
"I'm going to say you have too?" Dima asked, not really guessing as it had been said that they were high the first night Dima met the boys.
"Oh yeah, actually the first time I properly smoked it was when Isak and I were in a cabin with Eva. She hates greens and had no clue we were so baked." Jonas laughed as he remembered that weekend.
"Eva's quite the character. I don't think she likes me." Dima had held that in for a few weeks, trying to ignore the fact that she seemed to be hated.
"Yeah, I don't know really. We had kind of a complicated break up, she kissed another guy and her reputation kind of went down hill. She told me she needed to find herself but that was after I told her to leave me alone until she knew who she was. Then we slept together and suddenly it was over. I mean, I've had my time to get over it, I had a few more weeks than she did in the long run but I think she might still be keen on me. I might be being vain or something but that's just how it feels." Jonas stuck his hands in his pockets as they kept walking. Dima looked over at him, wanting to stop him and tell him it was okay. She thought it appeared he felt bad for moving on but in all honesty, he felt bad for something else.
"My ex was kind of the same way. They were finding them self but in the process, they turned into someone I didn't know. Alex just wasn't the person I fell in love with but they were still my best friend. They moved on faster than me but I never judged them for it. We had the same friends still and they never judged either of us. Just don't beat yourself up about it. Once Alex got another partner I forced myself into another relationship too fast and then it didn't last and it wasn't good for either of us. I don't really know why I'm saying this. I haven't thought about this in a while but if you think she's still keen on you she might be, but don't feel bad if you don't feel the same." Dima gave Jonas a small smile. He took his hands out of his pocket and wiped his face as if to wake himself up.
"I'm, uh, actually keen on someone else but I don't know if I can do that to Eva. Not if she still has feelings for me." Dima had started to notice the sensitive side of Jonas. The side that he didn't necessarily hide but he didn't often show. After looking around for a second, Dima realized they had passed Isak's flat but she thought the conversation they were having was more important than greens.
"Like I said, you can't let your happiness be second to her feelings for you. That's no way to live." Dima grabbed Jonas's hand and pulled him over to a park bench. She held his hand between both of hers, trying to show him any form of comfort.
"But she's also my friend and I still care about her feelings. I'm sorry, you don't want to hear about this." Jonas shook his head and pulled his hand away.
"Hey, I'm your friend, I'm here to help and to listen. And you know what, you're my favourite person here in Oslo. Which, by the way, I never thought I would say that after you thought I was dead the first time we met." Dima smiled and Jonas chuckled along. Dima was glad to see him smile after it seemed like he was in so much emotional turmoil and pain. This time he grabbed her hand and she was glad to see it.
"In my defense, I was high out of my mind. You were lucky I even said "she", I thought you were some homeless man at first." Jonas smiled at her.
"Wow, you really know how to take a girl's breath away, first call her a man then call her homeless. How do you not have a girlfriend?" Dima didn't really take offense, she knew her style often made her come across very different than she was. Jonas's smile started to fade and he looked down to the ground.
"Hey, smile it suits you." Dima nudged him with their interlocked hand. His smile slowly got bigger but it never reached passed a lopsided smirk.
"So much for smoking tonight, huh?"
"You know what, because this conversation was so riveting, I will go to the party with you guys tomorrow." Dima had been pregaming on Friday nights with the boys for the month that she had been in Oslo but she had never ventured to the parties with them. She decided it was time she went to her first party in Oslo.
"No way, seriously?" Jonas's smile widened and Dima knew she made the right choice.
"You are going to be lucky enough to see me in all my drunken glory." Dima started laughing and Jonas grinned.
"Well, it's going to be a fun night, I'll tell you that." Dima looked skeptically at Jonas.
"What do you know that I don't?"
"Isak's going to tell us all something that I say is cause to party." Jonas grinned as Dima only shook her head. Jonas leaned over and kissed Dima's cheek, right on her cheekbone where an unusual dimple showed up when she smiled.
"What was that for?" Dima let out a breathy and confused laugh.
"Thanks for cheering me up. Guess I didn't need the greens." Jonas looked down again but this time it wasn't melancholy. He rubbed his thumb along Dima's hand, which she had forgotten was still in his. Dima could tell he was content so she laid her head on his shoulder. He let out almost a sigh of relief as they both closed their eyes. Dima had never felt so at home while in Oslo than sitting there with Jonas. After some amount of time had passed, Dima pulled her knees up to her face and rested the hand in which she held Jonas's on her knee. She softly kissed his hand and laid her cheek on top.
"I didn't know how much I needed this." Jonas mumbled. Dima almost wanted to cry. To her, Jonas was the most deserving of love and comfort but he couldn't seem to find it in anyone. She felt honoured to give him what he needed so simply. This time it was Jonas's turn to put his head on Dima's shoulder. He laid face down and kissed where the bone sat before laying his cheek there, the bridge of his nose leaning on her neck. Dima's heart was racing and she was scared that Jonas could tell. She could feel his breath on her collar bone and goosebumps took over her body. The hand he was holding was starting to sweat and Dima was sure any second, he would pull away to wipe his hand dry. But he never did.
"Do you want to watch a movie?" Jonas mumbled, sending shivers down Dima's spine as she felt the vibration from his voice through her shoulder and neck.
"Um, sure?" Dima was caught off guard, she had been lost in her thoughts when Jonas broke the silence.
"Okay, my sister and my mom are out so we can have the laptop." He explained, still not moving from his position. Dima thought it might be because he knew what just his voice was doing to her.
"Okay," was all Dima could say. Eventually they both got up and started walking back to Jonas's in the dark though he never let go of Dima's hand. At one point, he loosened his grip to slyly get more air flow to dry their hands but that was as loose and their hands would be all night. They got comfortable in Jonas's bed with the blankets wrapped around them and the laptop in between. While their legs tangled together and their shoulders were pressed close. Throughout the movie, Jonas played with Dima's hair and fingers, distracting her from what was happening though she didn't really care. The next morning it wasn't their idea for Mahdi to find them. They were cuddled together, Dima's head on Jonas's chest, his arms wrapped around her body and her hands gripping his shirt. They didn't want it to be, but it was embarrassing.
"Oh, uh, I-wha-uh." Mahdi stood there, opening and closing his mouth like a fish after he burst into the room, thinking that Jonas simply overslept since his mom usually left early in the morning and his sister had gone away on a school trip. It took Dima and Jonas a second to take in the situation but when they realized what was happening they basically pushed each other away, which in Jonas's case ended with him on the floor. Dima knew the issue with her being initiated so easily as "one of the guys" was that once she started acting in a way that didn't fit with that it would lead to an awkward situation.
"So, uh, school. Yeah." Jonas got up off the floor and nodded to the general room. Dima just sighed and pulled the blankets over her face, not feeling as embarrassed as the two boys. Mahdi realized his cue to leave and went to sit in the living room to wait and cool down his burning face.
"So, I'm going to guess you guys never even share beds." Dima laughed as she put on her socks.
"I mean we definitely don't cuddle." Jonas raised his eyebrows, trying to convey that he felt something last night and they had to talk about it at some point. Dima swallowed and averted her eyes, not sure about what to say or do.
"Uh, can I borrow some clothes?" Dima broke the silence. Jonas looked down at his feet and nodded before leaving the room for Dima to find clothes and change.
Once at school, Dima and Jonas couldn't hide the fact they had spent the night together. Whether it was sexual or not, most of the school didn't know, but they knew that Dima was wearing an outfit of Jonas's clothing and it had become increasingly more obvious over the weeks how close the two were.
"Why does everyone automatically assume she's wearing Jonas's clothes? Maybe she just has similar stuff." Noora tried to reason with the group of girls as they continued their usual watch of Dima sitting with the boys.
"I bought that shirt she's wearing, its from Copenhagen. I got it for Jonas last summer." Eva's voice was monotone, trying to keep any hint of emotion from leaking out.
"Oh," Noora didn't have a response that would make her friend feel better.
"It's okay, really." Eva tried to convince her friends. Throughout the month, Eva had finally broken down and told her friends that she was still keen on Jonas. This meant that while it was obvious there was something going on between Jonas and Dima, it was Noora, Sana, Chris and Vilde's job to make Eva feel better about the situation. Eva had to say she appreciated the effort but no matter how hard they tried, she knew Jonas was keen on Dima. She knew him well enough to know. She watched as Dima made some joke and Jonas raised his eyebrows at her as if challenging her. He got his face closer to hers but she just laughed and pushed it away. Eva looked away and left the cafeteria. Dima turned away from Jonas for a second and noticed Eva walking out. Dima looked down, trying to figure out what to do before grabbing her bag and standing up.
"Wait, just one second." Isak stopped her, forcing her to sit back down and sitting on the other side of Jonas. Dima wasn't really paying attention for the first few minutes of the conversation. She had heard about Mahdi and Isak fighting last weekend but she didn't pay much attention to it, knowing that whatever happened it was obviously alright now. Dima just started paying attention when Jonas nudged her.
"Uh…guys? Remember when we were watching those chicks dance?" Isak started, Dima could tell he was nervous but if this conversation was going anywhere she thought, she had to listen.
"Brother, every time I close my eyes I see those girls." Mahdi obviously didn't see where it was going and Dima couldn't blame him. But she also had to agree with him.
"Fuck, it was hot." Magnus added in his two cents.
"But do you remember that guy that came up to us?" Isak said, trying to bring the conversation back into his control.
"That gay guy?"
"Why do you think he's gay?" Isak asked defensively.
"You were the one who said he was gay." Dima was starting to realize how thick Magnus was.
"Oh, not that guy! The other guy who came up to us." Dima wanted to help Isak with this conversation but by Jonas's reaction she thought he already told him. If Dima said anything she was scared Isak would think Jonas told her.
"Yeah, maybe?"
"Well, uh, the guy who said that…I had forgotten my hat in the cafeteria." Dima didn't understand why Isak was so focused on this guy for the conversation.
"Yeah, I think I remember him. What about him?" Dima was hoping that the tone of Mahdi's voice meant that he was catching on.
"We had a thing." Isak looked like he was about to pass out.
"A thing?" Magnus asked, sounding like he was genuinely trying to understand.
"A thing." Isak repeated.
"What the fuck, are you gay?"
"I'm not gay! Okay, maybe I'm a little gay, but…it's not like I'm keen on you guys, for example. Like, I'm not going around wanting every boy I see." Isak was trying to keep his friends from judging him.
"Uh…You're hooking up with chicks every weekend." Magnus wasn't accusing, only confused.
"Yeah, but maybe he's pansexual." Mahdi seemed to forget that Isak was sitting right there.
"What's pansexual?"
"It's when you like both."
"That's bisexual, isn't it?"
"Yeah, I think it's 'bisexual'." Dima let the conversation continue, laughing a little bit at their new topic.
"Yeah, but pansexual is also that you like both."
"What the fuck's the difference between pansexual and bisexual, then? There's no difference!"
"Pansexual is liking all genders, bisexual is liking two. Don't even ask about the more than two genders thing right now." Dima interjected, trying to end that part of the conversation.
"Well, anyway, pansexual, bisexual, gay or not, he's said he can do pre-gaming on Friday." Jonas helped bring the conversation back.
"Awesome." Mahdi dropped the topic as well.
"So, there might be more girls for us now since you're suddenly a fag. Ay!" Magnus half-joked.
"Doesn't mean you'll have better game." Isak was back to his self.
"Huh?" Magnus seemed confused for a second but instead of staying, Dima got up again to find Eva.
