A/N: Once again I thank you all for your lovely reviews, favorites and alerts! This chapter I actually dislike but it had to happen and I just couldn't think of any other way to make it work. Whelp Enjoy!
Half an hour later…
Kaylee searches through her soaked pockets for her house keys with one hand while holding the pizza with the other.
"Dammit where are they I should have'em…oh wait I took the bus I don't have my car keys." she then bangs her head several times on the door in frustration. Suddenly there was click and the doorknob twisting open. Kaylee looks up to see Hidan standing at the door with a pike sticking out of his chest. Blood was dribbling out the corner of his mouth and also there was some gushing out of the wound in his torso. Kaylee gawk at the man before her.
"What?" He asked irritated. Kaylee narrowed her eyes.
"You're bleeding all over the gawd damn place. You're ruining my hardwood floor. Do you how expensive it was to get this floor furnished? Kaylee complained pointing at the puddle of blood on the ground with her free hand. Hidan rolled his eyes.
"Jashin! You're Kakuzu's fucking twin I swear. Money obsessed whores." Hidan mumble walking into the kitchen while pulling the pike out of his chest and placing it in the sink.
"Ha-ha Hidan ha-ha…I'm not obsessed you just don't have any respect for hard earned cash." Kaylee stated placing the pizza on the dinner table.
"Like I give a shit about money, I can live without that blasphemy bullshit." Hidan wetted a hand-towel and wiped off his chest.
"Hidan even if you are immortal you cannot live life without money that would be like impossible." Kaylee said grabbing some tableware from the cupboard then bringing them to the table.
"You know what you're not his twin you're his clone only uglier." Hidan snubbed seating himself into a chair at the table. Kaylee cringed and slammed the tableware on table luckily they were cups and not glass otherwise they would be broken. 'Must not stoop to his level must not-'
"Cunt." Hidan interrupted her meditation.
"That's it you are going down you albino zealot!" Kaylee screamed grabbing the nearest object which was a cup unfortunately and throws it at him which of course he easily dodges. The cup is catch by the now present Kakuzu.
"How long have you been standing there?" Kaylee blinked and slumps into a chair.
"Long enough to want to strangle you both." Kakuzu said dryly placing the cup on the table. "What's in the box?" he asked pointing to the pizza box.
"Pizza." Kaylee answered pulling the box to herself.
"What the hell is pizza?" Hidan asked staring at the box while Kakuzu takes a seat also staring at it.
"It's food." Kaylee said blandly opening up the box to revile a delicious looking pizza with pepperoni as the only topping. Kaylee takes two slices then shoves the box to the center of the table. Kakuzu and Hidan stare at the pizza for a moment then at Kaylee who is now stuffing her face. Kaylee looks up at the two.
"Wah?" she asked with a full mouth. "It's good. Eat before my buddy comes over." She stuffed her face more. Kakuzu grabs a slice and places it on his plate.
"Who's this buddy of yours?" Kakuzu asked taking a bite of the pizza after that he stares at it for a moment then he devours it.
"Oh, don't worry he's nice." Kaylee pauses. "Unlike you guys." She muttered.
"Nice guys finish last." Hidan countered taking a slice.
"At least they out live the villain." She countered back pouring herself pop.
"He won't if I kill him." Hidan smirked taking a bite of the pizza. After he savored the taste he took 4 more slices.
"If you kill him I'll call the cops." Kaylee glared.
"Call? How?" he asked stuffing the rest of the pizza into his mouth.
"It's called a phone dumbass Kakuzu was using it earlier talking to me." Kaylee answered as if it were obvious.
"Ha that thing is broken. Kakuzu shattered it into pieces" Hidan laughed.
"You did what!" Kaylee exasperated, looking at Kakuzu. He didn't answer he just continued on with the pizza. "You guys are unbelievable, destructive, jerks!" At that moment Kaylee wanted to flip the table but a certain knock at the door caught her attention.
Kaylee flew out of her seat to the front door. She soon stops in front of a towel drenched in blood on the floor.
"Okay who was the smart one to place my favorite towel on top of the puddle of blood?" Kaylee scowled picking up the bloody thing by the clean corner and bringing it to the kitchen. Hidan quickly points to Kakuzu. "Way to sell out your partner Hidan." Kaylee said dryly, Hidan in return flick her off. "Anyways…KAKUZU WHAT THE HELL this was my favorite towel! You know I have paper towels you could have used instead of this!" Kaylee scolded. Kakuzu stood up and stared down at her.
*ding dong*
"Unthankful brat." Kakuzu growled grabbing the towel from her and throwing it in the sink.
"Oh I'm sorry thank you for cleaning up Hidan's blood with my towel." Kaylee said sarcastically.
*Ding dong, ding dong*
"Are you going to fucking answer that?" Hidan asked grabbing the last slice and stuffing the whole thing in his mouth.
"Pig." Kaylee said disgusted. "And yes right after you guys use henge. I don't want him freaking out." She added looking at them. They just stared back as if it was a staring contest. There was loud pounding on the door, seems like the person was getting impatient. "Please?" Kaylee pleaded, they're still just staring at her. "Come on this is important." Kaylee whined giving them the puppy dog eyes, their faces were blank. "GAWD DAMMIT IF YOU GUYS DON'T USE HENGE RIGHT NOW, LATER TONIGHT I'M SHOVING STICKS UP YOU'RE ASSES WHILE YOU'RE ASLEEP." Kaylee threatened. At that moment they both used henge, there was no drastic changes. Only Kakuzu's stitches were gone his eyes normal but still a bright green, he still had long brown hair. Hidan's hair was a light blonde and his eyes now a light brown. 'God let this go smoothly?' Kaylee pleaded to the heavens after that she went to answer the door. She opens the door to revile a short chubby man in a trench coat with suitcases in each hand.
"It's about time you answer the door my equipment was getting wet. I'm charging you extra if there is any water damage to my stuff." He said irritated.
"Fine, sorry about that. Come on in Moe." Kaylee huffed. He came in and notices the two men standing in front of the staircase. Kakuzu was standing to the left with his arms folded across is chess and Hidan was on the right leaning against the railing, hands in his pockets.
"Are these the illegal aliens?" he asked unimpressed of their heights or the glares.
"Yeah, so can you get them into the system?" Kaylee asked looking down at Moe.
"Of course I can they don't call me the ninja hacker for nothing. What country are these guys from?" Moe ask eyeing the guys up and down. Hidan tried to stifle his laughter.
"Ah Japan and no one has ever called you the ninja hacker Moe."
"Yea I know I'm working on a name for myself." He sighed setting the suitcases beside him.
"How about Lord Fat-ass of the Mole underworld?" Hidan laughed.
"How about I raise the bill for that insult?" Moe snapped backed.
"Like I give a flying rat's ass if you rise the-" Kakuzu elbows Hidan hard in the arm.
"That's what I thought now where should I set up?" he asked Kaylee picking up his suitcases.
"The living room would be fine; would you like anything to drink?" Kaylee asked trying to be polite.
"Yes hot cocoa would do." He said walking off into the living room. Kaylee heads back into the kitchen followed by Kakuzu and Hidan. Kakuzu stood behind Kaylee as she stood by the sink.
"How much are you paying him?" Kakuzu whispered angrily in Kaylee's ear as she poured water into the kettle.
"None of your business Kakuzu." She replied back just as angry and quiet. She didn't bother looking at him.
"You are not paying that midget anything." Kakuzu growled grabbing Kaylee and forcing her to face him after she placed the kettle on the stove.
"Look Kakuzu I need to have this done. I'm not going to let you two freeload around the house all day and destroy it while I'm at work and then except me to pay for all the damages. You guys are going to get jobs to pay me off for rent and the damages you've done to my house and in order for you to get the jobs you have to exist in the system." Kaylee said glaring up at him.
"Two fucking words. Money. Whores." Hidan said sitting on the table watching the two bicker.
"Shut up!" Kakuzu and Kaylee hissed in union at him. The kettle started to whistle and Kaylee took it off the stove pouring the boiling water into a coffee cup then added the cocoa mix. After that Kaylee walks into the living room.
"Hey Kaylee what happened to your wall?" Moe asked sitting on the couch placing his laptop on the coffee table.
"Please don't ask." Kaylee said sitting down next to him and handing him the hot cocoa.
"Right and I won't ask how you got all those wounds." He said staring at her bandage hand and taking the cup.
"Yeah you won't." she agreed. Kaylee feels the couch cushion sink in beside her, she turns to see Kakuzu sitting next to her. Hidan takes a seat in the recliner.
"What's that?" Kakuzu asked staring at the laptop. Moe and Kaylee gave him a confused look.
"Kaylee I thought you said these guys were from Japan?" Moe asked looking at Kaylee.
"They are! They're just um… farmers!" Kaylee said scratching the back of her head nervously. She's such a terrible liar.
"Yeah sure okay and it's a laptop by the way." He said rolling his eyes.
"What the hell is a lattop? Hidan asked.
"It's this and it's pronounced laptop you Neanderthal." Moe answered pointing at it and getting frustrated.
"Don't worry about it." Kaylee said to Hidan. You could just see the look in Hidan's eyes that he wanted to kill him luckily he maintains himself.
"Okay first things first what are they're names?" Moe asked typing away on his laptop. Kaylee's mind drew a blank. 'Oh crap I didn't think about that. Hm Kakuzu…Ka-ka-Karl? No… Ka-K-Kevin? Naw Grr I hate names Ima just go with Kyle….Kyle ahh Geed! Yea and ah um hm Hidan ohhh I know Haydn! In German it means heathen hmm but he'll hate he for that…Harold? No that reminds me of that old cartoon "Hey, Arnold!"…Jason? Wait no I hate that movie….ah! I'll just name him Bryan! Bryan…..I hate last names too…Heath…yea real creative I know but hell you try coming up with the name….'
"Kyle Geed and Bryan Heath!" Kaylee chirped somewhat proud of the names. She received odd looks from all three men. "Don't question my actions." She glared.
"Riiiight who's who?" Moe asked scooting away from Kaylee.
"Couch Kyle, Recliner Hi-Bryan." Kaylee answered staring at the laptop's screen.
"Let's start with Kyle then." Moe said cracking his knuckles. "Birthday?" he asked looking at Kakuzu.
"Nine-" "August 15 19..ah 1978, His blood type is A, height 6 feet and 1 inch weight 139 pounds." Kaylee blurted out. Kakuzu looked slightly surprised and Hidan's mouth was agape. "Anything else?" Kaylee asked ignoring the two nins.
"Yes, what state, city, address, and hospital do you want me to file in for his birth and current residence?" Moe asked still typing away on his laptop.
"Gawd, I should have thought this through before calling you over um, just put my address in and the nearest hospital." Kaylee said sitting back into the couch.
"Gotcha. Now what about him?" Moe asked pointing towards Hidan. Hidan looks at Kaylee skeptical.
"Hmmm April 2, 19-19 -1987, blood type B, height um…" Kaylee paused.
"5 feet 8 inches Ama and I weigh 125 pounds." Hidan finishes.
"Ama? What's that mean?" Moe asked Kaylee.
"What did I say about asking!?" Kaylee said irritated.
"Fine be that way, same address?" He asked continuing with his work.
"For current residence of course, but birth-wise… different city and hospital." She answered. After moments of typing he was done. He had birth certificates printing out of his portable printer. He sets them aside while looking to Kaylee.
"Anything else?" he asked taking a sip of his cocoa.
"Oh and can you put on Kak-Kyle's profile that he has a Master Degree in Accounting and Bryan as a priest and and can you put that SUV that's in my driveway in Kyle's name?" Kaylee asked looking over Moe's shoulder throwing the car's registration card on top of the keyboard.
"Yea yeah." He types more blah blah blah… "Okay job is done." He said sitting up from his crouch position. He manages to create State IDs, a new title for the SUV, Diplomas and Degrees.
"Great how much do I owe you?" Kaylee asked he whispers the amount in her ear. "Okay be right back." She said getting up and taking off to go upstairs to her room. Leaving the three men alone in the living room….
Kaylee comes back down. "Okay I got…the…cash…WHAT THE HELL. I LEAVE GUYS ALONE FOR TWO MINTUTES AND YOU KILL THE GUY!" Kaylee yell infuriated seeing Moe and Hidan on the floor bleeding all over the floor.
"It was Kakuzu's idea! Plus I needed a sacrifice for Jashin since I didn't kill you this morning." Hidan defended sitting up blood all over his chest.
"Why!?" Kakuzu why!?" Kaylee cried. Kakuzu didn't answer; he just sat there staring at the cash in her hand. She soon notices what he was staring at. "You greedy-son-of-a-bitch. It's my money!"
"He finished his job he was no longer needed." Kakuzu deadpanned and walked out of the living room and into the kitchen.
"You guys are horrible you know that? I'm-I'm going to bed." Kaylee had stutter furiously walking toward the stairs.
"But it's fucking 1 o'clock in the afternoon." Hidan said.
"So?" Death was something she'll never be able to handle; it was all too much for her to take in. She needed rest.
"You sleep too fucking much."
