A/N: Enjoy
Kaylee lay upon her bed staring at the ceiling.
"What am I going to do with these guys?" She asked herself rubbing her eyes. Kaylee stares at her dirty bandage hand and huffs. "I should change the bandage." She said getting up and heading to the bathroom. She stops at the bathroom entrance to see Hidan cleaning himself off in front of the mirror. He senses her presence and looks her way.
"What the fuck you want Ama?" he asked looking at her quizzically. She raises her bandaged hand.
"Bandages." She stated walking into the bathroom.
"I can't believe you don't know how to use a knife." Hidan stated flatly returning his attention to the mirror all the while poking his wound.
"Oh shut up I didn't come in here to get ridiculed." Kaylee glared then started going through the cabinet. "Where the hell are the bandages?" Kaylee asked still going through the cabinet.
"Does it look like I'm the one to use fucking bandages?" Hidan answered her with another question. Kaylee looks at the wound on his abdominal which was still bleeding.
"Yes how else would you address your wounds?" Kaylee asked crouching down to look underneath the sink.
"I don't I heal fast enough where I don't need to tend to them." Hidan wipes the blood off his abdominal it's no longer bleeding; only thing left to the wound is a little scar.
"Oh like Wolverine." Kaylee said standing up and looking at his bare stomach.
"What?" Hidan gave her a confused look.
"Never mind…I ma gonna hafta get me sa'more bandages" Kaylee said in a weird way.
"What?" Hidan now looks at her as if she is insane.
"I'm. Going. To. The. Store." Kaylee said slowly and slightly irritated. She headed out of the bathroom, to the hallway and down the stairs.
"Hey! Wait! You never bought me my gel." Hidan yelled now following her.
"That's because you took off to kill those girls." Kaylee said aggravated walking into the living room she looks at the shatter phone that was still lying on the ground. 'I'm going to have to buy a new phone too.' She then walks into the kitchen. "Where's Kakuzu?" She asked turning around to look at the zealot.
"Getting rid of the body." He said bluntly. "So are you taking us with you?" he questioned.
"Ha. Take you guys? Shopping? Ha! No…" She finished sternly.
"Why the hell not?" Hidan asked brows narrowing.
"Because taking you two to the mall would be like taking two four year olds. I would have to keep a good eye on you and you'll be bugging and asking me stuff every two minutes. So na-uh, no way, nope." Kaylee said turning around to bump into a firm chest. She falls back onto her ass and looks up to see Kakuzu staring down at her.
"Where the hell did you come from?" Kaylee asked getting up and brushing off the non-existent dust off her rump. He holds up a pair of keys in front of her which appeared to be rusty but with a closer look it was dried blood. "Ew...I don't want to know anymore." Kaylee said backing up.
"Well you did ask for the keys this morning." He said dryly dropping the keys on the table.
"Ay, Hey! Get those keys off the dinner table I eat off of that!" She rushes over to the table and picks up the keys. "Ew, ew ,ew ,ew." She drops the keys into the sink.
"What the hell is your problem? It's just fucking blood." Hidan said watching her scrub her hands clean.
"AIDS and a whole lot of other diseases. That's my problem." Kaylee answered she pulled some yellow rubber gloves from under the sink also grabbing a sponge and started scrubbing away at the keys.
"Pansy."
"Asshole."
"Bitch."
"Why don't you two just shut the hell up?"
"Why don't you two get the hell out of my house?"
"Why don't you two convert to Jashin?
"I am so out of here." Kaylee stated walking out the front door with clean keys in hand and for the hell of it Kakuzu and Hidan followed.
"You guys are not coming with." Kaylee said standing in front of the silver SUV crossing her arms.
"The hell we aren't. We've been cooped up in that house for two fucking days." Hidan bitched.
"You're not leaving without us." Kakuzu commanded.
"Fine, whateve hop on in." Kaylee huffed opening the driver's door. The two nins just stare at her. "You got to be kidding me do I have to open the fucking doors for you two?" Kaylee didn't wait for an answer she walked over to the other side and opened the doors.
After minutes of driving they made it to the mall.
Kaylee parked the SUV by a parking meter.
"What's that?" Kakuzu asked pointing at the parking meter.
"A parking meter." She answered.
"Why is there a picture of coins on it?"
"It's just to show what coins you can dispense in it."
"You're saying you have to pay to park here?"
"Yes." Kaylee had no idea where this was going.
"You're not parking here."
"Excuse me?"
"You. Are. Not. Parking. Here."
"The hell I ain't it's closest and cheapest to the mall."
"The hell you are if it costs money."
"Ain't."
"Are."
"Ain't."
"Are and that's final!"
"Then it's settled we are parking here."
"What the hell I'm fucking confused now."
"I won." Kaylee filled Hidan in.
"Shut up, we're not parking here!" Kakuzu yelled.
"I am not walking extra blocks just cause you don't want me to spend extra bucks."
"Lazy." Hidan scoffed
"Lazy and proud." Kaylee countered
"That's just sad." Kakuzu comment.
"You know what? The hell with you guys." Kaylee said aggravated she unbuckle her seat belt and opened the door.
"Where you think your going?! You're not parking here." Kakuzu grab her by the back of her collar and pull her back into the SUV. Kaylee's face was now only inches from his. "Find. A. Free. Spot." Kakuzu said in a low and dangerous tone.
"Y-ye-yes s-sa-sir." Kaylee stuttered and turns the vehicle on.
So…after minutes of looking for a free parking spot they headed to the mall which was 15 blocks away.
"I can't believe I listened to you now we have to walk like 15 blocks!"
"Would you just shut up before I kill you? I swear you're like Hidan's twin."
"Oy don't compare me to her seriously, that's just fucked up."
"You're the ones that are twins here. Zombie twins to speak in matter of fact."
"Do I fucking look like the kind guy to eat fucking brains!?"
"Yeah that reminds me of the guy from Silence of the Lambs. He had white hair and he ate someone's brain!"
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"A movie…I saw…well partially saw and that was the part where he took the top part of the guys head off yeah." Kaylee twitches.
"Okay…You're fucking weird."
15 blocks later
"Holyshit it's just as crowded as that freak show we were at." Hidan said scanning the place as they entered the mall. Kaylee smacked her face, hard.
"Hidan." Kaylee growled. "It wasn't a freak show it was a convention." Kaylee said irritated walking through the crowd.
"Fine a freak convention seriously why so many people?" Hidan asked squeezing pass people to follow Kaylee.
"Because people like to shop around it's a common thing to do." Kaylee answered.
"You hear that Kakuzu? You should try it some fucking time." Hidan said looking back but stops. "Kakuzu?" Hidan called out as to not seeing the old miser following behind. "Where the fuck did he go?" Kaylee stops walking and looks back seeing that Hidan is talking to himself.
"You got to be effin kidding me we lost him again!?" Kaylee asked walking up to Hidan. "How the hell are we supposed to find him now?" Kaylee started panicking and looking in all different directions.
"Ama." Hidan called trying to get her attention.
"He's using henge he's going to be hard to find!" Kaylee said pulling at her hair.
"Ama." Hidan called again getting annoyed.
"It'll be hours til we find him because this mall is so huge!" Kaylee paced back and forth in front of Hidan.
"AMA!" Hidan yelled grabbing Kaylee by her hair to stop her from pacing.
"Ow, ow, ow, let go." Kaylee cried in pain, he lets go. "What was that for?" she whined rubbing her head now.
"To get your fucking attention damn it. I can sense his chakra signature don't get your panties in a bunch" Hidan said annoyed, he then stalks off into a different direction they were heading.
"Hey how come you didn't do that when you lost him at the convention?" Kaylee asked thinking back on that day when he asked her to help him find Kakuzu.
"Because he wasn't using any chakra, dumbass." He retorted.
"I am so sick and tired of you calling me names it's annoying."
"You're annoying."
"Well you're more annoying."
"Tch is that the best you got Ama?"
"I know what you are, but what am I?"
"A bitch."
"I know what you are, but what am I?"
"A whore!"
"I know what you are, but what am I?"
"Dead!" Hidan starts chasing Kaylee through the crowds of people.
Meanwhile…
"Aren't you too old to be reading comic books mister?" a little eight year old asked the man who was looking through a manga. That man was Kakuzu he had walked into a bookstore and spotted the new Naruto manga. "Mister. Hey, Mister?" The kid was really grating on his nerves. "Mister aren't you-"
"Bug off kid before your mommy finds you lying on the floor." Kakuzu threatened not taking his eyes from the book.
"Why would I be laying on the floor?" the kid asked innocently not taking in the malice in Kakuzu voice.
"Because you'd be dead." Kakuzu said through gritted teeth.
"Why would I be dead?" surely the was the kid was just plain stupid.
"Because I'm about to snap your neck in half." Kakuzu growled placing the book back on the shelf and taking a step towards the kid.
"Ahhh mommy, mommy!" the kid ran off screaming.
"Hmfph stupid kid." Kakuzu murmured walking out of the store. "Now to find the two idiots." As he said that, Kaylee rushes pass him with fear planted on her face. Seeing this scenario before and knows what's coming next Kakuzu sticks his foot out. Hidan goes flying into a random stand which merchandise was glitter and sparkly stuff. Kaylee stops when she heard the crash and looks back to see a now sparkling Hidan.
"I knew it!" Kaylee exclaimed. "You're not Hidan you're Edward Cullen!" Kaylee laughed. Kakuzu and Hidan gave her odd looks. "You guys seriously suck." Kaylee pouted sense they didn't get the joke.
"I fucking hate you." Hidan scowled brushing off the sparkly stuff. Luckily the salesperson was out on a late lunch otherwise they would have gotten kicked out in a heartbeat.
"Come on we got to finish our shopping before we get caught." Kaylee said walking away from the scene Kakuzu and Hidan followed in suit. Kaylee lead the way into an electronic shop.
"Are those TVs?" Hidan asked staring at the LCD and plasma screens.
"Yeah." Kaylee replied looking for the phone section.
"How the hell are they so flat?"
"We have more advanced technology, ah there they are." Kaylee said heading off to where the phones were. "Hmm which one should I get?" she asked no one in general looking at the selection before her.
"The cheapest one, you don't need to spend so much money on something so useless." Kakuzu said from behind looking at the prices.
"How about you ignore the cheapskate and buy the most expensive thing here."
"Shut it she wasn't asking you dumbass."
"Rot in hell Kakuzu."
"Ladies first Hidan."
"Forget that I asked." Kaylee deadpanned. Their little quarrel lasted for two hours (Kaylee could not decide on a phone) before they got kicked out of the store. Another 5 hours (she had to buy more than just bandages such as bleach, plaster for the wall, a whole lot of paper towels and et cetera) of shopping and arguing they finally manage to get out of the mall.
"I'm never evereverever ever! Taking you two! To any ANY type of store EVER again." Kaylee screamed furiously stomping out of the mall carrying all of her shopping bags since Kakuzu and Hidan were such gentlemen.
"Oi what's her fucking problem?" Hidan asked Kakuzu.
"Beats me." Kakuzu shrugged.
"You want to know what my fucking problem is ay? I'll tell you, it's you guys… you embarrassed me in front of a lot of people. You wasted my daytime arguing over the stupidest little things. Now it's fucking dark out and I have the vaguest idea where I parked the car at cause somebody didn't want to park at a certain parking spot." Kaylee ranted.
"Kaylee stop." Kakuzu discontinued walking and so did Hidan.
"What?" Kaylee stops walking and turns around to face them. Kakuzu and Hidan exchange glances. Hidan slowly pulls out his pike.
"Hidan wah-what are" Kaylee begins to stutter but is interrupted.
"Looks like we're gonna have some fun tonight, boys." a voice from behind Kaylee crackled. She slowly turns around.
"Oh shit." Kaylee murmurs.
