A/N: Thanks guys for the reviews I love them also thanks for the alerts and favorites I like those too! Enjoy the chap!
A couple days later, Kaylee gets over her cold thanks to the medicine…
Kaylee glares at the two men in her living room. Kakuzu was looking through America's Most Wanted magazine which he had forced Kaylee to mail order it for him when they saw the commercial for it last week. It just came in the mail today and he has yet set the thing down or moved from the recliner. And Hidan was just sprawled out on the couch with his dirty feet on it too, flipping through the channels.
"You guys seriously need to get jobs…you guys break, waste, and buy stuff like I'm made of money! I cannot keep up with the bills because of you two!"
"Oy Kakuzu, do you hear that." Hidan continues channel surfing.
"Hmm?" Kakuzu continues memorizing every damn criminal in the mag.
"Puh-lease. If you guys don't get jobs soon I'm kicking you out. I don't give a fuck who you are. I have no need for leeches." Kaylee folded her arms.
"Ama do you really think you can kick us out? You're fucking weak as hell!"
"Don't worry Hidan I've already thought of 8 ways of getting you guys out of my house!"
"Really? And what are those 8 ways…Kaylee." It took Kakuzu a second to remember her real name they've been calling her ama way too much lately.
"Pft as if I'm telling you. You'll probably try to foil them."
"Ha you don't have any plans." Hidan smirked
"I do too! I'm just not dumb enough to tell you guys."
"You're still dumb."
"Fuck you Kakuzu."
"No Thanks."
Kaylee screams at the top of her lungs. "BURN IN HELL!"
"You first." Kakuzu said smoothly turning the next page.
"Aha Ama your face is getting redder and redder by the second." Hidan closed his eyes laughing. Kaylee took the opportunity to throw the closest thing near her at him which was the phone. It hit him right smack in the face, he stop laughing.
"Consider yourself lucky it wasn't a kunai." Kaylee said snidely. Hidan glares at her, picks up the phone that's surprisingly still intact, tosses it up in the air, catches it and then whips it at her. Kaylee jumps to the right and she lands on the floor dodging it. The phone then shatters into pieces against the wall.
"Consider yourself lucky my throw's off." Hidan counter her snide. Kaylee looks at her broken phone and frowns.
"I need to buy a phone made of adamantium." She murmurs to herself. "See this is what I'm talking about right here!"
"Tch you were the first to thrown it."
"Fuck y-…" Kaylee glares over to Kakuzu; he in return raises a brow. "Fuck this I'm going." She gets up and grabs a bag which is full of paper.
"Where are you going?" Kakuzu asks getting up.
"Oh just places.." Kaylee trailed off walking towards the door. Hidan blocks the door to the outside world.
"What's in the bag Ama?" Kakuzu asks suspiciously walking up behind her.
"Oh ah nothing just papers heh." Kaylee said nervously looking back at Kakuzu. Hidan took the chance to snatch the bag from her. "Hey! You bastard give it back!" Kaylee tried grabbing it but Hidan tossed to Kakuzu and before Kaylee could go after it Hidan grabs her arm. "Noooooooo." She shouts as Kakuzu pulls out one of the papers. His face contorts as he looks over the paper then he looks back up at Kaylee.
"Don't tell me this is one of your plans." He asked showing them the paper.
"eh heh"
"What the fuck no wonder why you were taking pictures of us yesterday. You're trying to sell us!"
"Yes I am and I would've gotten away with it too. Already had a buyer online but she wasn't sure when she'll have the money. The flyers were my backup plan." Kakuzu and Hidan looked at her as if she had grown another head. Hidan pulls Kaylee close to him so his face is only an inch from hers.
"Are you fucking serious?" Hidan growled shaking her senseless.
"Your breath smells…" Kaylee said leaning back in his grip. "But look on the bright side you'll be with someone who actually wants your company because I surely don't want it."
"Well surely the person you're trying to sell us to be either insane or stupid."
"So…"
"…"
"…"
"You're serious."
"I was gonna have her come over with tranquilizers in the middle of the night but since that plan went down the drain time to move onto the next devious plan!"
"…"
"Get a job?"
"Fine just burn these fucking flyers."
"Yay"
So after a few attempts on Hidan's part they both manage to get jobs. While Kakuzu was able to find a nice stabled job to his liking, Hidan did not he got stuck as bag boy at a nearby grocery store.
Hidan was sitting at a closed register on top of the conveyor belt watching the cashier guy ring up a customer. He had another two hours of bagging before he could leave the hell hole.
"Bryan get over here and bag this lady's items now." The cashier yelled at Hidan.
"Damn heathens too fucking lazy to bag their own shit. I should sacrifice them all to Jashin." Hidan muttered to himself grabbing a plastic bag and then picking up a big box of tampons.
"I want those double bagged young man." said the customer in a snooty way.
"What for? You're just going to your car."
"Excuse me, but you should keep your mouth shut and do what you are told." She glared placing her purse on the counter to pay for the items.
"The fucking box isn't even heavy and everyone already can see you're buying the shitty tampons. There's seriously no fucking point." Hidan glared back.
"My word where is your manager I want this man fired how dare you talk to me like that." The lady asked angrily looking at the cashier.
"Why don't you go find him yourself fucking lazy lard of shit"
"Management to register 4, please." said the cashier over the PA.
"You should go back to school and be taught manners!"
"You should be taken to the slaughter house and skinned alive!" Just when Hidan was about to stab her in the forehead with a pen the manager intervene.
Half an Hour Later
Kaylee enters the kitchen to where Hidan is searching the cupboards for food.
"Hidan what are you doing?" Kaylee asked taking a seat at the table.
"What's it look like dumbass I'm looking for food, fucking hungry." Hidan replied still looking through the cupboards.
"Shouldn't you be at work though?" Kaylee asked watching him.
"Tch I got fucking fired." Hidan mumbled opening the fridge.
"Not surprise, did you threaten or cuss out another customer?"
"Yea your world is full of idiotic heathens. What the hell there's nothing to eat here." Hidan closed the fridge and finally faced Kaylee.
"Well Kakuzu said he was going to go grocery shopping when he got off work." Kaylee said planting her elbow on the table and resting her head in her hands.
"Why are you letting that prick get food he's only going to get cheap nasty food that will make you shit like there's no tomorrow."
"True but I'm banned from most of the stores around here now cause of you guys tagging along, breaking shit and fighting and then also threatening other shoppers. So now Kakuzu has to go into stores henged."
"Pft let's go to one of those of fast food places before fuck-face gets back." Hidan suggested sitting on the table in front of Kaylee gesturing to the front door.
"No I won't hear the end of it from Kakuzu about wasting money."
"Okay look at it this way Ama would you rather just have him ramble off all day or be stuck on the toilet all day?"
"Um…"
"Are you seriously considering the latter!?"
"Well..." Kaylee's tummy then growls and she flush in embarrassment. Hidan stares at her stomach and smirks.
"Then it's fucking settled. Let's go." He said grabbing her by the wrist and dragging her out the door.
"But, but Kakuzu will..." Kaylee started to whined
"Shut the fuck up, we're going." He scowled pushing her towards the jeep and she reluctantly obliged getting in. They pull out of the driveway and onto the road.
"What do you want to eat jackass?" Kaylee asked annoyed turning the corner.
"I don't know I'm just fucking hungry."
"Well that's helpful."
"What do you wanna eat?
"I'm not the one who wanted to go out to eat, so you choose."
"Fine let's go here." Hidan pointed at a fast food place with a huge yellow "M" as a sign
"Ah no."
"Why the hell not?
"Cause they suck."
"Tch I bet you're afraid of the clown mascot they have there."
"Am not I just hate that place…"
"How about this place Wen-"
"No their food tastes like grease." Kaylee stops at a red light.
"What the fuck Ama you fucking tell me to choose but everyone I pick you refuse."
"Aha Hidan I didn't know you were a poet." Kaylee laughed. Hidan hits her upside the noggin.
"Ow." Kaylee rubs her head. "Asshole." She murmured to herself. The light turns green and she turns another corner. "Hey let's get something from Taco-"
"Hell no I hate that place."
"But you've never been there!"
"So what I hate it because you suggest it." He glares at her and she glares back.
"Why do you have to be so difficult?"
"There!" Hidan takes the wheel and they swerve through a lane and into a parking lot.
"What the hell Hidan! We could have hit someone and gotten into an accident!" Kaylee screeched taking back control of the wheel and stepping on the brakes.
"Yeah whatever just order already I'm fucking hungry." Hidan said nonchalant. Kaylee looks at the drive-thru menu she narrows her eyes and looks over to Hidan.
"Hidan this place is expensive. We're not ordering from here." She hissed glaring at him. Hidan pinches her right cheek and pulls on it up and down.
"You sure you're not Kakuzu in disguise." Kaylee's face turns red and she slaps him across the face, he lets go.
"Bitch." He growled rubbing his cheek.
"Asshole." She growled back rubbing her own cheek.
*BEEP BEEP*
Kaylee looks in her rearview mirror three cars were behind them.
"Looks like I don't have a choice now, thanks jackass." Kaylee said vexed she pulls up to the speaker box thingy.
*"Thank-you for choosing Subs Galore, may I take your order?"*
Hidan leans too close for Kaylee's comfort and yells
"Yeah I want a large steak sub with everything on it with a large order of fries." Kaylee bashes her head into the driving wheel several times.
*"I'm sorry sir but we don't sell fries here."*
"What the hell do you sell then?"
*"We have subs, large cookies, soups and chips sir."*
"I want two large cookies and chips then." Hidan sits back down in his seat.
*"Wheat or white bread sir?"*
"Ah, wheat."
*"Is that all for today sir."*
"No I guess I'll have a white bread medium chicken sub with bacon, mozzarella cheese, and alfredo sauce on it."
*"Is that al-"*
"Yes, just tell me the damage..." Kaylee interrupted glaring at the speaker box.
*"The total is $24.57 please pull up to the next window."*
Kaylee slowly turns her glare at Hidan.
"What the hell are you waiting for Ama get the move on, I'm fucking hungry."
"I wish Kakuzu was here to beat you to a pulp." Kaylee muttered under her breath.
So Kaylee pays for the food and on the way to home they go. She pulls up into the driveway. Hidan stares at the house's front window.
"Are you gonna sit in the jeep all day or are you coming in." Kaylee asked unbuckling her seatbelt.
"Someone's inside the house." Hidan said quietly glancing over to Kaylee then back to the house.
