AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello everyone! Been a long, long REALLY long time hasn't it? I apologise profusely for the extremely long wait, what was it 8 months? Well I hope to make up for it soon!

Anyways a BIG-ASS thank you to all reviewers, followers, favouriters for all your support, comments, advice etc etc, it really has helped me and made me feel good about writing this! We have reached over 100 reviews, which was my personal goal when I started this story! Hopefully we will receive more and more. Only 2 more chapters to go now, before we get to work on the sequel!

I apologise as this chapter is short and a bit on the silly side, its just a re-introduction to writing this for me and I'm sure by chapter 33 I will be back into the swing of things! So for now enjoy!

XXX

"You! You're my bride for tonight!"

Cloud's eyes widened in disbelief as he stared at the fat finger pointing right between his eyes. No fucking way! There had to be some mistake! There was no way anyone in their right mind would have chosen him, especially next to those two!

He looked helplessss to his left; Tifa was looking just as shocked as he was, her jaw had dropped as she stared back with an incredulous expression.

On his left, Aerith looked as though she desperately wanted to laugh.

"Don, you have great taste!" She said, almost choking from the effort not to giggle.

Don ignored her as he bounced over to Cloud, grabbing the very disgusted blonde over to the master bedroom.

The bedroom was pretty much the same as the rest of the mansion, the amount of bright colours made Cloud's eyes hurt!

Don was mumbling happily to himself as he closed and locked the door behind him. He adjusted his girth and approached his "bride" with a seductive (relatively speaking) grin in place.

"Ooooh darling," he said rubbing his hands together as if preparing for a meal. "You really turn Daddy on!"

Cloud was at a loss. Was he supposed to play along? At that moment he would have happily given up his left testicle to give Don a good kick where it hurt!

"Is that so?" He decided to wing it. That's it Strife, just stall!

"Oooh yeah! Daddy's got a big surprise for you baby girl!"

Cloud was eagerly awaiting someone to pinch him and tell him all of this was just some foul nightmare! There was no way this dude was for real!

Oh well, might as well have some fun with this and see how long it takes this douche to realise I actually have a penis.

"Oh yeah...Daddy?" Cloud said, hating how his voice nearly sounded whiny, before sitting on the gigantic, king-size bed.

"Damn right," Don said before launching himself at Cloud.

Luckily the man managed to roll out of the way as Don belly-flopped the bed. The mattress groaned in protest and it sagged under Don's weight!

Realising had he been a split-second from death, Cloud silently thanked his lucky stars!

"What's wrong honey?" Don asked, quizzled. "You shy?"

Grabbing onto that, Cloud turned to the side. Luckily the heat from wearing a heavy dress had already added to his flush!

"Oh don't you worry! We'll go slow," Don boomed, oblivious to Cloud's gritted teeth.

Without warning, he grabbed the smaller man and pulled him onto the bed, before straddling him.

Putrid, alcohol-tinged breath hit Cloud dead in the face. Combined with the sheer disgust of having an obese sicko on top of him, the smell made him want to puke!

"Just relax," Don purred leaning in closer.

Sweet, sweet irony! If this is what he had to do to prove he loved Tifa, then...fuck!

Just as Cloud was silently resigning himself to his fate, a loud bang announced the arrival of Tifa and Aerith.

"Cloud!" Tifa shouted as the two women ran into the room!

Relief such as he had never known flooded through all of his being. With a grunt he snapped his knee outwards. Judging from Don's howl of pain he had hit the mark!

Shoving the Don off him, Cloud slid off the bed and kneeled panting as Tifa helped him to his feet. To his left he caught sight of Aerith looking at the Don with a mixture of disgust and mocking!

"Cloud were you really going to-" she asked innocently.

"Finish that sentence and I'll lock you two up in here!" Cloud warned, fixing her with a glare that would have withered an evergreen.

Aerith shrugged, but the mischief twinkling in her eyes never faded. "We should have waited a few more minutes Tifa! That would've been a real show!"

"See if I take you out again!" Cloud muttered.

"Serves you right for taking me to see some dumbshit movie anyway!"

"Puh!"

Don had apparently recovered from Cloud's brutal assault on his genitals, and his fat head bobbed up comically on catching sight of the two new arrivals.

"Oooooh! Ooh!" He said, seeming to deflate and inflate like a balloon being filled up by a faulty helium tank. "A foursome hey? I dunno if I can take all three of you, I'm not young like I used to be!"

That seemed to sober Aerith up as her jaw dropped in disgust! Sparks were flying from Tifa's nose at that moment!

"Sicko!" She spat. "Now listen here you mother fucker!"

"Oooh yeah baby," Don said, flopping on his stomach. "Talk dirty to me baby!"

Tifa rolled her eyes then yanked Cloud's wig off. The lack of an itchy headpiece caused a wave of relief to flood over the young man. Probably need to start using less gel, he mused to himself. Else when I get old I'll have no hair and have to wear a toupee or some shit like that!

Don looked slightly less enthusiastic seeing Cloud's spikey shock of blonde hair.

"So you're a-uh-butch kinda girl?" Don asked, cocking his head to one side. "I can handle that darlin'!" He boomed, licking his chops.

Tifa's disgust, already at breaking point, got the better of her.

"He's a dude! You fat-fuck!" She exploded.

Aerith winced at the sound as Cloud tore off his vile dress, sighing in relief.

Don's slobbering face immediately went dry at the sight of short, yet muscled man where a scrumptious female once stood.

"A-a-man?" He boomed in confusion. A smirk lit on his face. "Well this changes a great deal wouldn't you say?"

"What are you saying?" Cloud demanded angrily.

"Well I knew some idiot was trying to pull the wool over my eyes tonight, but I never would have thought they'd try a dumbass trick like that!"

"And the irony is, you fell for it!" Cloud shot back, blushing slightly.

"Oh no, my dear man, you fell for it! Or you will soon!" Don chortled, happily.

Without warning he stood on the bed, turned around and mooned them.

The sight of that fat bottom nearly made Cloud want to puke, Aerith looked away and Tifa glared at him in disgust.

"See you three losers later!" Don giggled waving his backside in the air.

"I'm gonna kick that overlarge balloon!"

"I'm aiming a little further south!"

"Guys!" Aerith squeaked.

"What?" Cloud and Tifa shouted, advancing towards the Don.

"Uhm."

"Too late!" The don said, pressing a hidden button.

"Wha-"

Without warning the floor opened below them, and the three tumbled down into the darkness.