"It still doesn't feel real sometimes," Helen breathed as she and Nikola came to a stop outside the nondescript door part way down a nondescript hallway. Of course, she knew exactly where they were. Bit by bit things were making sense to her again, cobwebs clearing.

It was the infirmary wing.

Helen had designed it to feel more like a home than a hospital, especially in the long-stay rooms like the one they stood before. The idea was that then any guests who required ongoing treatment would be able to feel like they had a place of their own, rather than a sterile bed.

The theory, she felt, was a sound one. And making the purpose of the corridor less apparent equally so. But standing before a door that said nothing of what lay within made hairs stand up on the back of her neck. Of course, those hairs had taken to standing up at odd times recently. Small things set her off now, some days it was the sound of a creaky door, others, the rattle of a loose wheel against the hardwood floors.

For the most part, she pushed the memories away as best she could but, whether it was a side effect of the drugs they'd given her to awaked her memories or just the fact that it had all happened so recently, Helen had found the flashbacks more vivid that ever before in her life. Absently, she raised a hand to the side of her head, feeling the small scar on her temple. It was barely there, nothing more than the faintest discoloration that would probably fade given time but Helen supposed she'd probably always be able to feel where the thin slivers of metal had punctured her skin, going far deeper than safe.

Needless to say, removing it had been painful.

"Being back or her being back?" Nikola asked softly, disrupting the scattered train of thought she'd almost lost control of.

"Both."

Nikola stifled his sigh rather well, Helen thought. Well, better than he used to, anyway.

"Do you want me to run the DNA tests again? You can even take the blood from me yourself, if it helps. Your hands are much steadier now."

Helen chuckled softly and gave him a small smile.

"I know you're you," she told him, reaching for his hand. "But that doesn't stop... the doubt."

He crouched down beside her, taking her hand tightly between his own.

"The dreams?"

She nodded, biting her lip as tears formed in her eyes.

"You don't have to do this, Helen," he urged softly. "If you aren't up for it, we can go back to the library and have a cup of tea. You don't have to do this today. We have time."

As tempting as the offer was, Helen had put it off long enough. She wasn't fully recovered and there were nights when she awoke in a fit of terror, drenched in sweat as her mind created all kinds of scenarios that proved where she was wasn't real but she had to open that damn door.

Body trembling, she opened her mouth to try and ask Nikola to open the door when a sudden growl from the other side of the door interrupted her.

"NO!" someone roared. "YOU HAVE TO LET ME SEE HER!"

"Please, just cal-"

"NO!"

A sudden crash that sounded an awful lot like a metal tray slamming into a panelled wall rang out, followed by another terrifying growl and what Helen suspected was her protégé's whimper of pain.

"Quickly," Helen urged Nikola, instinct taking over. Of course, the instinct to run was rather powerful too and almost overcame her but Helen tried to pretend it wasn't the case. The safety of her team needed to come first.

Plus it helped her to forget precisely why she was sitting outside this door.

"Are you sure?" Nikola asked but Helen was already straining forwards, making her injuries throb a little as she reached for the door knob. Nikola pushed her back into her chair with one hand as the other did what she had been unable to do and gently pushed open the door.

Helen sucked in a quick breath as she surveyed the scene before her.

Will was crouched in the corner, cradling his ribs, surrounded by the content of a medical tray or two.

And in the other corner, panting as she flashed rather dangerous looking teeth in Will's direction, stood a young blonde, clad only in a hospital gown that matched Helen's. The young woman's hair was greasy and hadn't been blow dried to its usual perfection, her skin was a little sallow but it was her eyes that drew Helen's attention first. The red and black combination was as frightening as it was out of place.

"Ashley," Helen breathed, her hand gripping the arm rest of her wheel chair with everything she had. If her legs had been any stronger, Helen would have run but, as it was, she was stuck, staring at the monster they'd turned her daughter into.

Then the creature, Ashley, turned abruptly to the door, eyes flying wide as her snarl dropped.

"Mom?" she whispered and, almost immediately, her features returned to normal.

Helen was frozen in place, her mind racing to try and find some way to either prove or disprove what she was seeing. The young woman looked the same, spoke the same, even the distorted features she'd carried a moment ago matched what Helen remembered of her daughter after the transformation had taken place but still it didn't quite fit. Ashley was dead. Long dead. Rose couldn't have brought her back. It wasn't possible, she'd even said so.

Suddenly she was overcome with a need to speak to her old friend, to find out how and, more importantly, why she'd resurrected the daughter Helen had tried to lay to rest. Her heart ached with memory of the words Nikola had uttered the first time she'd asked for Rose.

"It was for you."

Sacrifice wasn't something Helen took well. Of course, she could do it herself but the idea of her friend doing it for her... She shuddered.

You will be OK. Ashley will be OK. It was worth it.

The words echoed like a memory but carried a clarity that reminded Helen of Rose's unique brand of communication.

It was worth it.

It was then Helen felt the steady weight of Nikola's hand on her shoulder. With shaky fingers, she reached up and threaded their hands together before giving her daughter a tentative smile.

"Hello."


Because I have once again decided to do nanowrimo this year (I'm writing a fanfic, so don't worry, you ought to get something fun out of it in the end), I need to get this story up before the start of November so prepare for many updates.

Also, for those interested, I've decided to start posting on Ao3 a bit. There is a growing collection of Sanctuary stuff over there and I would thoroughly advise checking it out if you haven't already :)

xx