Her feet move so fast to the sound of the fiddles and pipes, it's vaguely confusing. Don't ask me how I ended up in a mutant pub in Glasgow on the night they were having a dance. Etana just decided I should see her other lives. And it's quite obvious she's a regular and a favourite here. She stepped in the door, sat down at the end of the bar and a glass of fruit juice was place in front of her instantly. Now she's dancing with someone with huge deer antlers, wheeling around, spinning under his arm, waltzing a few steps, drawing away. The music stops and she comes up and sits beside me.
"Nothing beats a good old fashioned ceilidh." She draws out the word, pronouncing it 'kaay-leee'. Her eyes spark with joy.
"Dashing White Sergeant next. Come on. We'll have to induct you in at some point and this one is pretty simple, especially if I take centre."
She reaches out and touched the antlered man's arm.
"Sorry to bother you Callum. Would you object to dancing with me and Steve for the White Sergeant? He's a complete novice."
He nods and says something I can't understand but Etana nods.
"Fine. I'll just explain it to him."
I lower my voice.
"Was he speaking English?"
"Yes. Be careful though. The BBC once had to put subtitles on a program about inner city Glasgow. Just… don't mention it."
I nod.
"So…why do you come here?"
"I can…be myself and I helped give Fraser's grandfather the funds to set up. Nice atmosphere and they do brilliant orange juice. Oh, and I fund the ceilidhs and traditional music nights. I need somewhere that accepts me."
Another quirk of Etana. She never drinks although Hercules says otherwise. He actually said she drank him under the table once, although I don't believe that for one second. Herc can outdrink frost giants.
"Right. In the Dashing White Sergeant, we dance in groups of six, in smaller groups of three. I'll take the centre and you and Callum will stand on either side of me. We'll face another group of three. Hold hands in a circle. Go anticlockwise for a count of eight, back for eight, then I'll turn and face the partner on my right, set to you for a count of four, turn for four then change to the other side and repeat. I turn the person on the right, on the left, on the right, on the left then we join hands in a three, walk towards the other set of three, walk back, walk forwards and go under the arms of the other set. And we do it again with the next set that we meet."
"What…?"
"You'll pick it up."
I don't. I end up getting hopelessly lost, dancing at the wrong moments, turning the wrong way. Etana thinks it's hilarious. But she doesn't make me dance again. And then someone turns to her and shouts something about a song and Etana just smiles and shakes her head. I have a feeling this is a tradition during ceilidhs.
"Gie us a song! Comon! Etana!"
She just laughs and protests as they drag her up to the stage. I can tell she actually likes it here. Maybe because they accept her as what she is, which isn't exactly hard as I've seen someone with grey skin and huge dog-like brown eyes who everyone seems to call Selk. She speaks to the fiddler who nods and she stands up, sighing.
"You lot just like watching me get all embarrassed. Don't you?"
A loud cheer follows that and Etana launches straight in. To begin with, it sounds like a happy song and then you realise what she's singing about.
"Dance, dance the shaking of the sheets
Dance, dance when you hear the piper
Playing, everyone must dance
The Shaking of the Sheets with me"
The music chimes in as the band realises what song she's singing. A dance that everyone must take part in? Sounds…interesting.
"Bring away the beggar, bring away the king
And every man in his degree,
Bring away the oldest and the youngest thing
Come to death and follow me
Bring away the merchant who made his money in France
And the crafty banker too,
When you hear the piper you and I must dance
The dance that everyone must do."
She's singing about death. Isn't that a little…morbid?
"Dance, dance the shaking of the sheets
Dance, dance when you hear the piper
Playing, everyone must dance
The Shaking of the Sheets with me"
Well…it's certainly…far too cheerful for the subject matter…
"I'll find you in the courtrooms, I'll find you in the schools
When you hear the piper play,
I'll take away the wise men, I'll take away the fools
And bring their bodies all to clay.
All the politicians of high and low degree,
Lords and ladies great and small,
Don't think that you'll escape and need not dance with me,
I'll make you come when I do call."
Well, I suppose it's true. Everyone dies in the end. Even Thor and Herc could die.
"Dance, dance the shaking of the sheets
Dance, dance when you hear the piper
Playing, everyone must dance
The Shaking of the Sheets with me"
The place is silent, aside from Etana's voice and the music, which only seems to play in the chorus and the sections where Etana isn't singing.
"It may be in the day, it may be in the night,
Prepare yourselves to dance and pray
That when the piper plays "The Shaking of the Sheets"
You may to Heaven dance the way."
She takes a few steps, obviously trying not to dance, which would probably be wildly inappropriate seeing as she's singing about dancing with Death.
"Dance, dance the shaking of the sheets
Dance, dance when you hear the piper
Playing, everyone must dance
The Shaking of the Sheets with me
Dance, dance the shaking of the sheets
Dance, dance when you hear the piper
Playing, everyone must dance
The Shaking of the Sheets with me."
She finishes and bows. People swamp her and the bartender/landlord sidles up to me.
"Yer her fella, arnae ye?"
"Er… yes?"
"I've known Aunt Tani since I were a kid and she's a right sensitive wumman. She comes here once a week or roundabout and she huz three states. Her friendly, calm style; her bealin' moods when she jist sits there and gets drink aftr drink and willnae talk tae anyain. An' when she's fair happy and pays all night. Yer responsible fer most o' the last twa. Fash wi' her an' a lot o' the regulars will be out tae gi' ye a doin'. They're right protective of her fer a Teuchter. Friendly warning like."
Am I getting this right? Am I actually getting the protective father talk from a kid born forty years after me, about a woman who was old when Christ was born? I am. Etana's extended 'family' is very slightly weird
