Chapter 10

Alyssa stepped cautiously into the darkened room. Except for the harsh florescent light shining over the bed everything was dark. Ominous looking pieces of medical equipment cast intimidating shadows on the stark white walls. The ventilator beside the bed huffed and puffed in a rhythmic pattern and the steady beeps and blips of the cardiac monitor confirmed that indeed, Kelly's heart was still beating.

She approached the bed with extreme caution and trepidation…taking everything in. she'd spent way too much time in hospitals, that was for certain. But this…this was like waking up and finding herself trapped in the middle of her worst nightmare.

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She looked down at her beautiful husband. He was bloated from the surgery. His face was swollen and she could see where the blisters had formed over his cheeks and his forehead. She couldn't see his eyes…because they were patched and bandaged. It was too early to know whether or not there was any damage, but the scans they'd taken showed inflammation and swelling around the optic nerves.

She moved down to take in the ET tube…the IV line imbedded deeply in his neck…the livid purple bruises across his right shoulder and the bulky dressing and splint that held his right arm in position. His bare chest was covered in electrodes…tying him to all those scary machines…recording every breath…every beat of his heart.

A rigid plastic tube stuck straight out of his right side and attached to what looked like a small canister vac. The doctors had told her that Kelly had seven broken ribs…four on the right, three on the left. One had punctured his lung. The chest tube would drain the air and blood from his chest cavity, but it was also excruciatingly painful. So for his own comfort they were keeping him paralyzed and sedated.

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Alyssa jumped when the blood pressure cuff kicked in and began its automatic cycle…inflating and recording every fifteen minutes. She put her hand over her racing heart and took a couple deep breaths to pull it all together. Once her own heart was beating normally again she reached out to Kelly. She gently combed her fingers through his hair…the only place she could touch that wasn't covered in bandages or wires. And her eyes filled with tears.

"Kelly? Baby?" she whispered. "I'm here…I'm right here, Baby. It's okay…you're gonna be okay…"

The words just rolled right off her tongue…she'd said them to him a thousand times before. Only every other time he was awake to hear them.

She dragged a chair closer to the bed, wincing at the sound of its legs scraping along the tile floor. She slowly sank down into it, never taking her eyes from her husband's face. She was suddenly overcome by the need to touch him…to have some contact…to feel him and reassure herself he was still there with her. She slipped her hand into his and took comfort in the weight of it.

"Kelly…I love you so much, Baby. Please…please don't leave me. I...I couldn't handle it…I couldn't make it. I need you. I need you so much." She whispered... her voice choked with tears.

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"Alyssa?"

She spun around at the sound of her father-in-law's voice.

Benny must have just gotten there. He had been up north at his buddy's hunting cabin…and he must have driven like a bat out of hell to get back to the city.

As much as he loved the city of Chicago…Benny had a great need to wide open spaces and solitude. That was the reason for the frequent hunting and fishing trips…even in the dead of winter. But unfortunately, this was the second time he'd been somewhere up in the Great White North when a crisis hit.

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Alyssa jumped up from her seat and quickly crossed the room. She launched herself into Benny's' arms. He caught his daughter-in-law and held her tight as she wilted against him. Her entire body shook with sobs…and Benny was at a loss as to what to do.

Alyssa was always the rock for Kelly and the kids to lean on…and Kelly had told him once, in what he probably perceived to be a weak moment…how Alyssa had pulled him through some dark and scary times. He said he couldn't handle an injury without her…his neck…his knee…when he was in pain…but more when he was scared, she calmed him. Especially when the dark thoughts crept up on him.

Benny had lived with Kelly and Alyssa and the kids for almost six months after Kelly had fractured his kneecap. It was hard to believe it was only three years ago…so much had happened since. He watched as Alyssa had cared for his son…and any fool could see the love they had for one another. It made him happy and sad all at the same time. Happy because his son…who he'd always loved more than anything, even when he was clueless as to how to show it…had found someone to love. And found someone who loved him unconditionally through the good, the bad and the ugly. Sad, because he had had that once…and he pissed it all away. Unfortunately by the time he realized that it was too late.

There were so many times he wondered if he could have gone back…if Maggie would have taken him back…but his stupid pride wouldn't let him. He'd tried to find that happiness again. With four more wives…step kids…he tried to recreate what he'd so carelessly thrown away. But there was always something missing…and eventually he figured out that it was the piece of his heart that he'd left with Kelly…and Maggie.

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"Benny…what am I gonna tell the kids? How do I explain this to them?"

Benny just hugged her tighter. He had no clue how to answer. Alyssa'd always been honest with the boys whenever Kelly was hurt…but explaining a knee injury or a sprained shoulder was different. Even if, God forbid, Kelly couldn't be a firefighter anymore, he could still be a father.

"I don't know, Lyssa…" he answered, his voice choked with emotion. "I don't know. But I'm here for you. Whatever you and the kids need…whenever."

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In the end Alyssa didn't have to worry…because Casey and Shay went directly from the hospital to Kelly's house.

Joey was alone in the kitchen…looking absolutely lost.

"Am I glad to see you guys." He said. "Andy and Jesse woke up at five…five-thirty…and they've been askin' questions ever since. 'Where's Mommy?' 'Did something happen to Daddy?'…I don't know how much to tell 'em."

"Where are they?" Casey asked.

Joey cocked his head in the direction of the living room.

"Front room. They won't get dressed…they won't eat breakfast…not till they get some answers. I tried…but they're not havin' it. And the last thing I wanna do is fight with 'em. But they're stubborn as hell."

"Well, they are Kelly's kids…" Casey said as he laid one hand on Joey's shoulder. "We'll handle it."

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Casey strode through the dining room with Shay right behind him.

"You want me to get Maggie?" she whispered as they past the stairs.

They could hear the almost two year old up in her room.

Matt nodded…and Leslie veered right to go see to Kelly's little princess.

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Andy caught sight of his godfather and sprung off the couch. He came running with Jesse right behind him.

"Uncle Matt! What's goin' on?" he cried. "Mommy wasn't here…"

"Did something happen to Daddy?" Jesse asked, his voice trembling with fear.

Just the use of the names 'Mommy' and 'Daddy' told Casey how anxious they must be. They were nine and in the third grade…they tried so hard to act grown-up. He hadn't heard either of them say 'Daddy' in over a year.

"Let's go sit down guys."

He led the twins over to the couch and sat them side by side, and then he knelt down on front of them. He was struck by how much they looked like Kelly…and he was struck by the fear he saw in their blue eyes…and the tears that were threatening to spill at any moment.

"I don't know that there's any easy way to say this, guys. Your dad got hurt last night…and it's pretty bad. Your mom's at the hospital right now…so's Grandpa Benny."

"Is Daddy gonna be okay?" Jesse asked, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"I hope so, Jess…" Casey said. "I hope so."

"Is he comin' home?" Andy asked.

Whenever Kelly had been injured before, he always came home later that day. Sometimes he had crutches and a brace on his leg…sometimes he had stitches…but he always came home.

Matt shook his head.

"Not for a while, Buddy."

"What happened?" Jesse said in a quiet voice.

Casey wiped his hand down his face. This was harder than he thought. How could he tell his godsons that another firefighter had tried to murder their father?

He took a deep breath.

"We got called out to this fire…" he began hesitantly. "And it was a really big deal. It was already burning outta control. We didn't think there was anybody inside…but we had to check."

He studied the boys faces…trying to decide what to say next…what could they handle?

"Your dad and Uncle Pete found one victim…and Uncle Pete took him out…but your dad saw somebody else was trapped and he went after 'em. He tried to get the guy out…but the victim was combative…"

"What's 'combative'?" Andy asked.

"It means he was fighting with your dad." Casey explained.

"Why would someone do a thing like that?" Jesse asked.

Casey realized that he'd just made a major blunder. He'd said too much.

Kelly and Alyssa had always been totally up front with the twins about what a dangerous job firefighting was…and there was always a possibility that a firefighter could get hurt. And Casey thought they'd want him to tell Andy and Jesse the truth. But this …this was too much for nine year old boys to process.

Unfortunately he'd gone too far to back up now.

He sighed.

"I don't know, Buddy. There's no way to predict how a victim's gonna act in a fire."

Andy had a dark look on his face. This didn't make any sense to him. The firefighters came to get you out…why would anybody want to fight with them? Something was definitely not right here.

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"Can we see Daddy?" Jesse asked.

Casey shook his head no.

"Not right now. He's in a special part of the hospital where they have the sickest patients. Only your mom and your grandpa are allowed to see him."

The boys were quiet…and Matt was suddenly exhausted. It was a lot to process for a grown man…forget about how little boys must be taking it.

"So what are we supposed to do?" Jesse said.

"I think you should try and go to school…I'm gonna take you…and I'll talk to Sister Therese and Father Joe. I'll tell 'em what's going on…and if you have any problems, they can call me and I'll come right over."

The twins looked at one another.

How did Uncle Matt expect them to go to school and try and learn stuff? When Daddy was hurt and in the hospital?

Uncle Matt must have read their minds.

"Look, guys, I know this is hard…but it's gonna be a long time before your dad can come home…"

If he came home…

Casey quickly banished the thought.

"But we gotta do the best we can to just keep goin' on with our normal lives. Okay?"

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Andy and Jesse reluctantly got up off the couch and trudged up the stairs just as Aunt Leslie was coming down with Maggie.

"Did you tell them?" she asked.

Casey nodded.

"I'm gonna take 'em to school and talk to the principal…explain what's going on. So they can be on the lookout for any signs of trouble."

"You want me to go with?"

"Somebody's gotta stay with Maggie. And we gotta get everybody together ASAP and come up with a plan."

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Joey came out of the kitchen.

"Guys…I gotta go to work soon. Emma Lynn called in so she's home with Ainsley. Do you need her to take Maggie too?"

"No…" Casey said, looking at Shay for confirmation.

She nodded.

"But can you call your brothers?" Matt asked. "Have 'em meet us here tonight? We were just sayin' we need to come up with some kind of schedule."

Joey nodded.

"Done and done…we'll see you tonight. And the Boungiovanni's will provide the pizza."

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Alyssa came home to a house full of people. When she walked in with her father-in-law it was standing room only in the dining room.

She looked around. All her brothers were there…her sisters-in-law…the whole team from Station 51, including Vargas and Mouch. Morgan was there with his mom, Jeanne, and his grandmother, Marianne. Ingrid Mills was there as well.

Everyone had their PDA's out in front of them, and it appeared they were making some kind of a schedule.

"What's goin' on here?" she asked.

Her voice cracked…she sounded exhausted…even to herself.

Everybody turned and Casey stood up from the head of the table.

"Lyssa…how's he doin'?"

"No change…they've got him paralyzed and on a vent. They're gonna keep him like that as long as he needs the chest tube…"

"Good." Hermann said…unconsciously touching his left side. "That thing's a bitch."

Hermann had been injured like that once…years and years ago…back before Alyssa even met Kelly.

"Christopher!" his wife Cindy whispered harshly.

"What? We're all grown-ups here." Hermann replied.

"Where're the kids?" Alyssa asked suddenly.

Casey put his hands on her shoulders reassuringly.

"They're right upstairs." He said gently.

"Samantha and Declan have 'em all up there." Nicky added.

Alyssa started toward the stairs.

"I've gotta talk to the boys…" she mumbled.

She was completely numb…barely anything was registering with her. But she had to tell Andy and Jesse what had happened to their dad.

"I took care of it." Casey told her. "And I told Sister Therese and Father Joe over at the school."

"And I told Maggie Daddy got a big owie." Leslie said. "I told her he had to stay at the hospital till it got better."

We're working out a schedule right now to cover things at home while you're at the hospital." Casey continued.

"Yeah…I'm staying tonight." Leslie said. "Just in case you need anything."

Alyssa started to protest that it wasn't necessary…but Leslie held up her hand.

"Non-negotiable." She said firmly.

"And Pete and I'll be here first thing in the morning to relieve her." Gabby added.

"And I've got the day after that." Vargas said. "I got the boys' basketball covered too."

"Don't worry about Andy and Jesse's St. Patrick's Day party next week." Jeanne Craddock told her. "Ma and I'll take care of all the baking and everything."

Alyssa didn't know what to say. She'd been stressing all day long trying to figure out how she was going to divide her time. But here was everyone she loved…practically tripping over themselves to step up to the plate.

Then again…like Kelly always told Andy and Jesse…firefighters take care of their own.