Chapter 15

Alyssa pulled the SUV in the drive. She stopped close to the front steps and put the car in park.

Then she looked over at Kelly, sitting in the passenger seat. Her heart went out to him…he looked so nervous. She reached out and took his left hand.

"You're home, Baby." She whispered.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It had been more than two and a half months since he'd last been in his own house. Two months, twenty-two days to be exact. On March eighth, he'd left to go to the firehouse…thinking it was just gonna be a normal shift…and he'd be home the next morning to have breakfast with Alyssa and Maggie.

But they'd gotten a call just before midnight…and his whole life changed. He still didn't remember a lot of it…but he knew that he had confronted an arsonist in a burning auto shop…and that arsonist apparently didn't care if he didn't get out alive. What's more…he tried to take Kelly with him.

The hardest part to swallow was that the guy was a firefighter…and Kelly had considered him a friend. A man that had been in his house, sat at his table…ate his food…had tried to kill him.

He had been terribly injured…broken bones, a collapsed lung, a concussion…and every day since he'd woken up in the hospital had been just…pain…constant pain. There were a lot of other emotions mixed in…anger, self pity, depression, fear, frustration…but mostly pain.

And the man responsible for all of it was dead. He had been burned over ninety percent of his body…most injuries like that were unsurvivable. So Darren Chesnick would never have to answer for the destruction he had wrought on not just Kelly and the Severide family…but the eleven people he had killed, the dozen and a half more he had put in the hospital, and the owners of the thirty some odd businesses he had torched over a six month period. He'd never be punished for his crimes.

That just didn't sit right with Kelly…or Alyssa…or anyone else at Station 51.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

All of these thoughts got jumbled together in Kelly's head as he sat in the car trying to get up the strength and the courage to get out, climb the five steps, and go into the house…where his three children were waiting.

One thing…Kelly hadn't lacked for family support throughout this ordeal. Alyssa had barely left his side since he had gotten hurt. Most every night she had slept in a chair at his bedside in the hospital. She was there for every therapy session, working right alongside the therapists to help him get back on his feet and learn to do everything all over again.

He was eternally grateful…having her there. There were a lot of times he knew he'd have just given up if she hadn't been there. It reminded him that once their roles were reversed. About a dozen years before, when Alyssa had been the one struggling to fight her way back from devastating injuries…and he had watched her every step of the way.

He asked her once how she did it…how she'd found the strength. And she was quiet for awhile.

"It was you, Kelly…" she said as she held his one hand in both of hers.

"What are you talkin' about?" he asked. "It was you…you're the one who did all the work."

"Kelly, I knew…long before I got hurt…that I loved you." She told him. "I already knew that I wanted you to be my 'forever'. And I was afraid that Brad was going to take all that away from me before I even got a chance."

Kelly remembered that time…he'd remember it as long as he lived. He had been afraid to admit to himself that he loved her…especially when he didn't even know if she was going to be okay…but every time he was alone…and sometimes when he wasn't…he'd take out his phone and listen to her last message…just to hear the sound of her voice. He couldn't help it…it was comforting.

"Even though we had never said exactly what we were to each other…I felt like every day you were there with me…helping me get through a therapy session, walking with me…it was like I was getting one step closer to that 'forever'. I kept telling myself that you must have loved me…if you were doing all the things you did…you must love me. Even if you never said the words. That's where I got the strength." She said.

"I think I was in love with you after about a week…" he admitted. "I was just too much of a coward to admit it."

"Don't ever call yourself a coward, Kelly. You're the bravest man I know. And I'm not just talking about being a firefighter…it's the way you do your job…you never give up on anybody. When you pulled that guy Daniel out…you spent all that time…and all the while you were talking to him…making him feel safe…giving him strength to hang on. And he was so grateful he named his son after you."

She took one hand away, and reached up to his face. She cupped his cheek in her palm…and out of habit he leaned into the familiar comfort of the gesture.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Alyssa's voice broke into his thoughts.

"You ready to go in, Baby?"

"Yeah…" he said.

He hoped being home again would get things back to normal with the kids.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

By the time he was transferred out of ICU, it was already three and a half weeks since the accident. Well, not an accident…but whatever. It was almost a month since he'd seen the boys and his baby girl.

Casey and Shay had brought them to the hospital…and Kelly was on pins and needles waiting for them to get there.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He was already exhausted. He didn't want them to see him lying in bed…and all scruffy.

They started getting ready hours before the kids were supposed to arrive. Alyssa and one of the nurses had gotten him out of bed and wheeled him into the bathroom. Then they transferred him to a bath chair…covered his cast…and Alyssa had given his a long, hot shower. It wasn't easy. It took a lot of energy on both their parts, but it felt so good.

Then she had shaved him. His beard always grew in dark and heavy…but this was too much. None of the kids had ever seen him with that much hair on his face. And he wanted to look normal for them.

She set up his toothbrush for him so he could brush his teeth…and she helped him into a clean hospital gown. He wished he could put clothes on…but he still had too many wires and tubes attached to get a t-shirt and a pair of sweats on.

Then Alyssa wheeled him back into the room…and she and the nurse helped him transfer to the recliner. It was such a production…get the wheelchair close…lock it down…get the walker. He still hated that thing with a passion. Stand up…balance…no weight on his right arm at all…and then three steps…pivot. Make sure he was lined up…then Alyssa and the nurse slowly lowered him into the chair. Position…make sure all the wires and shit weren't tangled…then slowly recline so his legs were elevated.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He could hear Andy and Jesse from the minute they got off the elevator. Neither of the twins really walked…they were always going full steam ahead…especially Andy.

The boys stopped outside the door…and Kelly thought he was about to burst waiting for them.

Lyssa went to the door to see what the holdup was. There she saw her boys…with Casey right behind them. Their blue eyes were big as saucers.

"C'mon guys…" she said, holding out her hand. "Daddy's waiting for you. He can't wait to see you."

Shay came up behind them carrying Maggie with her. She must have been anxious too…because she was sucking her thumb…she only did that when she slept usually…and she was clutching her little brown covered book… 'Who Loves Maggie?' that she had carried everywhere since her birthday party.

Lyssa led the twins into the room and Kelly's face broke into a huge smile when he saw them.

"My boys! You got so big!"

The minute they heard his voice…they wanted to run to him…but Alyssa held them back for a second.

"Easy, guys…you gotta be gentle with Dad…"

Andy and Jesse stopped just out of arms reach. This was too weird. It was Dad sitting there…but it wasn't Dad. Dad was big and strong…like Superman. He could run into a burning building. He could tear a car apart with the Jaws in about two minutes. He could carry a man as big as he was down a ladder. And he could pick up both of them at the same time.

The Dad in front of them looked basically the same. It was the same face…the same eyes. But he was thinner. His face was thinner and there were dark circles under his eyes. His shoulders didn't look as big and he had his right arm in the cast and a sling. He looked weak and tired sitting in that chair with a blanket over his legs.

Andy swallowed hard as mom guided him over to Kelly's left side and Kelly reached out for his son and enveloped the boy the best he could in a one arm hug. And feeling how stiff and unrelaxed, unnatural Andy was just drove a knife straight through his heart.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He gave Andy a quick kiss on the top of his head and squeezed his eyes shut so his son wouldn't see the tears welling up. Lyssa moved Andy aside and brought Jesse in.

Jesse wasn't quite as stiff…and he wanted desperately to hug his dad…but he was afraid of hurting him. So he just laid his head on Kelly's shoulder for a moment. But only for a moment, because he saw something sticking out of Dad's neck.

"What's that, Daddy?" he asked as he pointed to it.

He was afraid to actually touch it.

"That's where they put my medicine and take the blood for tests and stuff." Kelly answered. "So they don't have to give me a million shots every day."

Jesse's eyes went wide. He hated shots…that was the one thing he was really, really scared of. To get so many in one day…the little boy shuddered.

Kelly took a breath to try and pull himself together. This was harder than he thought. The boys were older…nearly nine and a half. He knew that Alyssa and the rest of the family had told them at least some of what had happened to him…and presumably they could understand all the injuries he had. At least in the abstract. Seeing reality starring you in the face was a bitter pill to swallow…and it didn't matter how old you were.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

But there was still one person left…

"Maggie…c'mere Baby Girl."

Casey had taken Maggie from Shay and he carried her those few steps to the chair. Then he crouched down beside his friend.

Maggie turned away and buried her face in Uncle Matt's shirt.

At the sight of his baby girl pulling away from him…Kelly forgot about the knife plunging into his heart. No, this was just reach inside his chest, pull his heart out…and crumble it into dust right there in your hand.

"C'mon, Maggie…it's Daddy." Casey told her.

Maggie peeked one teal-blue eye out and looked over to Kelly. Then slowly she lifted her head.

"Can I put her in your lap?" Matt asked.

Kelly nodded. It's prob'ly hurt like hell…but he didn't care. He had to show Maggie he was still "Daddy".

Casey deposited her in his lap and immediately she started squirming to go back. Kelly had to bite his lip to keep from crying out in pain as her little elbow poked him in the ribs. Alyssa saw the look on his face, but she knew it probably hurt him more for her to take Maggie from him.

She knelt down beside the chair where Casey had been.

"Shhh…Maggie…"she whispered, putting her hand on her daughter to try and soothe her. "Daddy just wants to hold you."

Kelly tightened his left arm around her little body.

"It's okay, Baby Girl…" he said.

He saw the book she was clutching in her hands.

"What's that, Baby Girl?" he asked. "Can you show Daddy?"

She pulled the book away for a second, flashing Kelly a look at the cover before hugging it back against her chest.

"Is that a new book? Can Daddy read it to you?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Apparently he said the magic words…because Maggie suddenly held the pink and brown covered volume out to him. That, of course presented something of a challenge. He couldn't hold it in his right hand…he couldn't get the angle on it.

Alyssa reached out and held the book out in front of him…and he saw the title.

"Who Loves Maggie?"

Alyssa opened it up…and Kelly began reading.

"Who loves Maggie?" he read. "Uncle Matt loves to hear her giggle…it always makes him smile…"

He studied the page of pictures of Maggie and Casey…at the firehouse…at the department picnic…in her Princess carriage that he'd made.

"Uncle Matt loves to watch Maggie drive her carriage…"

Alyssa turned the page…and there were a bunch of photos of Maggie with Aunt Leslie.

"Aunt Leslie loves to watch Maggie dance…Aunt Leslie loves to brush Maggie's hair because it's so soft…and always smells like strawberries."

The next page had a picture of Maggie at the counter at the diner…not so daintily shoving a spoon full of "Maggie Cheesy" in her mouth.

"Uncle Pete loves how Maggie always makes 'all gone' with her Mac 'n cheese…"

He went on…everybody, it seemed had a page…Grandpa Benny, Chief, Mouch, Nicky and Kathy, Joey and Emma Lynn…everybody said the things they loved about the little girl.

When he got to the last pages, he stopped.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

There were two whole pages with a collage of family photos. Him holding Maggie on the day she was born. Alyssa lying in their bed holding Maggie beside her. The twins "helping" to give her a bath…and another of them starring at their baby sister in her cradle.

There must have been about thirty pictures alone on those pages.

And the words in the center of it all…

"And who loves Maggie most of all?"

Alyssa slowly turned to the last page…and there was the picture they had sent out with their holiday cards. The five of them…beside the firefighter tree…Kelly held Maggie in one arm…and had the other around Alyssa's shoulders. The boys were right in front of them…and Lyssa had her one hand on Jesse's shoulder.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kelly felt like the air got sucked out of the room…it was almost too much.

"Lyssa…take her…"

He was so emotional after seeing that book. He had heard about it…how Morgan had made it for her when he was still asleep…when they didn't know what was going to happen. Just the thought of how close he had come to not being there for his kids…the thought that this book could have just as easily been all Maggie had to remember him by…

Alyssa took Maggie and handed her back to Leslie. She gave Shay a look, pleading for her to do something.

Leslie in turn looked at Casey…and Matt turned to the boys.

"Hey, guys…why don't we go down to the coffee shop and get your dad a chocolate milkshake?"

Once the kids were safely out of the room, Alyssa brought Kelly his water. While he sipped it, she went into the bathroom and came back with a cool cloth which she used to wipe the tears that had trickled down his cheeks.

Then she set it aside and held his hand while he tried to pull it back together.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Kelly…we should go inside." Alyssa told him gently.

He snapped back from his daydream.

How long had they been sitting in the driveway? He took one more breath to gather his courage.

"Yeah…let's go…"

She came around to the passenger door to help him out of the car. It took him a few moments to find his balance. He still wasn't 100% steady on his feet.

His arm was out of the cast…but it was still in the sling. He'd just started doing gentle range of motion exercises with it…he still couldn't lift anything. Alyssa reached into the back and pulled out the cane with the four feet on the bottom... he still needed something something for some support… but he refused to bring that God-awful walker home.

Then slowly, they made their way around the car and over to the steps. Kelly felt Alyssa's hand on his belt…ready to help him…or catch him if he fell. And one step at a time they climbed the stairs to their front door.

Alyssa opened the door, and he stepped into his dining room. He looked around, just taking it all in.

"Hey, kids!" he called out. "We're home!"