DISCLAIMER: Nope, I still don't own M*A*S*H. Just in case you were wondering…

Hawkeye, Peg, and Erin were finally in California. The rest of the train ride had gone smoothly, giving Hawkeye and Peg plenty of time to get to know each other. Now that they had arrived, Peg had gone home while Hawkeye took care of Erin. This gave Peg and B.J. some alone time to talk, and gave Hawkeye the opportunity to meet up with Sidney to share more details regarding B.J.'s situation. He had decided to meet up with Sidney at a local ice cream parlor in Mill Valley. Peg had said it was a quiet place where he and Sidney could talk and Erin could be kept busy with some ice cream. Hawkeye walked in the ice cream parlor while holding Erin's hand. As soon as they walked in, Erin got a big grin on her face and said "Ice cream!"

"Yeah, that's right, we'll get you some ice cream." Hawkeye said with a hesitant smile. This was the first time he and Erin had been alone together. He had limited experience around children besides the ones he had worked with in Korea. All of the ones in Korea had been wounded, both physically and emotionally from the trials of war, making Erin was the first completely healthy and happy child Hawkeye had been around in a long time. Of course, with the way things were between Peg and B.J., Hawkeye wondered how long Erin's happiness would last.

As they got up to the counter, Erin continued to smile. Hawkeye asked her what flavor she wanted, but she looked up at him with a confused face. Then he realized that she was too short to see the different flavors on display.

"Here, let me hold you." he said as he lifted her and turned so she could see the different ice-cream flavors. She looked at them and pointed at one labeled cotton candy. "Oooh, pink!"

"You want the pink one?" Hawkeye asked as he continued to hold her in his arms. "Ok. Two scoops of cotton candy for the little lady." Hawkeye said to the man behind the counter. Meanwhile, a big shaker full of colorful sprinkles caught Erin's eye. "What dat?" she asked curiously.

"Those are sprinkles." Hawkeye said with a smile, starting to feel less nervous around her. "Pour a bunch of sprinkles on there too" he added. "Pile on as many as you can." The ice cream guy put the sprinkles on the ice cream and handed it to Hawkeye, who paid and gave Erin the ice cream. As she started eating, he took a good look at her. He still could not believe how much she looked like B.J. As he continued to watch her while they sat down, memories of him and B.J. throughout his time at M*A*S*H flooded his mind. He wondered how B.J. would react to seeing him and Sidney. He knew their friendship would be different than before, because so much had changed since Korea. But with all of the struggles B.J. was having, would he even be happy to see Hawkeye again? Before Hawkeye could contemplate it any more, a third party joined them at their table.

"Hawkeye?" Sidney Freedman asked in his quiet, inquisitive voice as he suddenly sat down next to them.

"Sidney!" Hawkeye exclaimed as his thoughts were interrupted. "I didn't even see you come in."

"It looks like you were lost in thought." Sidney said as he gave Hawkeye his typical pensive stare. "Anything important?"

"I can't say what I'm thinking about in front of her." Hawkeye said jokingly as Sidney sat down. "Seriously, though…I guess I was thinking about seeing B.J. again. This is going to sound stupid, but I'm actually a little nervous."

"It's not stupid. After all it has been a while since you've seen B.J. I know you mentioned on the phone that he was having some problems going back to civilian life. So what exactly is going on?

"Well, I told you I ran into Peg in Crabapple Cove. She and B.J. had a big fight, and she had gone to stay with a friend. Apparently, he's been surly and distant with her since he got home. She says he refuses to talk about anything related to his time in Korea. He's been getting angry too: during their last fight he almost hit her."

"Hmm. Well, that certainly doesn't sound like our B.J." Sidney replied. "He's always had the utmost devotion to his family."

"I know." Hawkeye answered with conviction. "That's why I think it has to do with his time in Korea. I mean, there's no other way to explain it! Which is why I called you. I can always fix the physical wounds, but you're the best when it comes to psychological wounds."

"Well, war does tend to leave both types." Sidney said slowly. "You know, I've been seeing symptoms like this in a lot of the boys that have come home from Korea. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it usually seems to be related to some kind of trigger. The symptoms can be different, but I've been seeing a lot with flashbacks and dreams. Did Peg mention anything like that?"

"No, but he may have had them and not told her about it. She says he's been pretty distant."

"You mean there's a possibility he's hiding them in order to be strong for her? Now that sounds like our B.J."

"It does." Hawkeye agreed. "He always hated that she had to take care of herself while he was over there. Now she might have to take care of him as well. He probably hates himself for it."

"Sounds like you've gotten better about understanding those psychological wounds." Sidney said with a smile. As he said that, he looked over at Erin. "So this is Erin, huh? She sure looks a lot like B.J."

"She's cuter than him, though. Must get that from Peg." Hawkeye replied as they both looked at her. She had just finished her ice cream and was now looking up at Hawkeye.

"All done." She said with a smile.

"Of course." Hawkeye said, realizing he would need something else to keep her entertained. "Hey Sidney, do you have a pen or something?" Sidney pulled out a pencil and gave it to Hawkeye, who in turn handed it to Erin along with a napkin. "Hey Erin, why don't you draw us something?"

"Ok!" Erin replied with a big grin as she started scribbling on the napkin. Hawkeye looked at her for another second, then turned back to Sidney.

"Well, she isn't a starving artist at least. I mean, she's had her fill of ice cream." Hawkeye told Sidney before bringing the conversation back to the serious problem at hand. "Anyway, you mentioned something about triggers. What exactly do you mean?"

"Well, even though the whole war was a traumatic experience, there is usually some little bits of it that the mind gets hung up on. Those little bits can cause a whole lot of problems. Like the time the soldier came in to the M*A*S*H soaking wet, and you developed that sneezing problem all because of a memory of drowning with your cousin."

"Or like the time I had the mental breakdown because of the strangled baby." Hawkeye said slowly.

"Yes." Sidney agreed. "Speaking of that, how have you been adjusting to civilian life? You gave me a bit of scare with that breakdown."

"I thought this visit was about B.J.?" Hawkeye asked with a smirk.

"What, you haven't heard of killing two patients with one stone? Consider this a follow-up. What's been going on in your life?"

"Well, I guess I'm doing better than B.J. is. I started working again in Crabapple Cove with my dad. I do surgery at hospitals in the nearby big cities occasionally, but usually I just stick with primary practice. Other than that, nothing really. Just trying to move on from the tragedy of Korea."

"Hmmm…so there's nothing major going on?" Sidney asked with a tone of doubt in his voice. "Just out of curiosity, have you been seeing anyone?"

"Why, are you interested?" Hawkeye said sarcastically.

"Just humor me." Sidney said with a grin.

"Well…now that you mention it, I have been seeing a woman." As Hawkeye said this, his eyes lit up and he started to grin. "She's pretty great, actually. She's this really beautiful blonde nurse. She's intelligent, and fun to be around too."

"Sounds like a great package. So tell me, how is Major Houlihan?"

Hawkeye's eyes got big, while Sidney started laughing. Erin joined in laughing, even though she had no idea what Sidney and Hawkeye were talking about.

"How…how did you know I was talking about Margaret?" Hawkeye asked, clearly confused by Sidney's insight.

"Oh, you know, these things tend to get around. Besides, Hawkeye, do you really think you're the only one that talks to me when you have problems?"

"Wait…Margaret talked to you?"

"Well, not exactly." Sidney answered. "She talked to Sherman, who shared it with me during a catch-up phone call. Of course, she didn't tell him it was you she was seeing. All she said was she was seeing somebody she had met over in Korea, but she was real secretive about who it was. Sherman suspected it was you, as did I. You just confirmed it for me."

"Yeah, well." Hawkeye said, temporarily speechless. "Do you know what exactly she told Col. Potter about me?"

"C'mon Hawkeye, you know I can't tell you that…"

"Of course not." Hawkeye said it as he rolled his eyes.

"But you can tell me what you think of her." Sidney said slowly.

Hawkeye shook his head and smiled to himself. "Well…truth is, I don't know what to think. I mean, she's great. I love spending time with her, and I think she feels the same way about me."

"How did it happen, if you don't mind me asking?" Sidney asked curiously.

"Oh, now you say 'if you don't mind'." Hawkeye said sarcastically. "Anyway, I'm on the on-call surgeon list for several of the larger hospitals in Maine. And one day I had gotten a call from the VA in Portland saying they needed a surgeon right away. Some guy needed a bowel resection and there were no available surgeons in the area. So I drove up to Portland, checked in, and scrubbed up for surgery. As I'm scrubbing up, a nurse walks in and asks me what size gloves I wore. As soon as I heard her voice, I realized it was Margret."

"Did she recognize you?"

"Not at first, since I had my back turned to her while I was scrubbing up. I was quiet for a while, unsure of what to say. Of course, she starts getting flustered because I'm not answering her. She says 'I asked size gloves you wear, Doctor.' in her shrill, angry tone. Finally, I told her my glove size. 'Size 8.5'. I wasn't sure she'd recognize me or not, but the second she heard me say it she spun around. I turned to look at her…and there we both were."

"How'd she react?" Sidney asked. "Margret can tend to get a bit…feisty."

"Well, she was shocked. We both were. She wanted to know what I was doing at the hospital, but we had to go into surgery, so we couldn't really talk about it right then. I swear I could feel her eyes boring into my skull throughout the whole procedure. Afterwards, we talked for a while, and I somehow managed to convince her to let me take her to dinner. We've been going out ever since."

"It sure sounds like you're happy." Sidney said thoughtfully. "What's the problem?"

"How do you know there's a problem?" Hawkeye asked, trying to avoid more of Sidney's questioning.

"Call it a hunch." Sidney said with a shrug. "Now go on."

"Well…" Hawkeye said slowly "I guess the problem is that I'm not sure I know how to make a commitment to Margret like she deserves." After a brief pause, he continued. "Margret's a wonderful woman, but she's had to deal with a lot of low-life men. With Frank Burns, she was always second fiddle to his wife. With Penobscot, she was simply another one of his army trophies. Even her own father has a difficult time showing her how much he cares about her. She deserves better than that."

"And you think you can't give that to her?"

"I don't know if I can or not. My only serious girlfriend dumped me because she said my first love was medicine. And when I was at the 4077, I was nothing but a flirtatious fool. I don't know how Margret can look past that."

"How she can look past it or how you can look past it? You know, a lot has changed since you were at the 4077. I think you've changed too."

"What makes you say that?" Hawkeye asked.

"Well, first of all, Portland is an hour away from Crabapple Cove. If you've been driving back and forth to see each other, Margaret means more to you than a fling would, even if your relationship isn't very serious just yet. Not only that, but not once in your conversation with me did you refer to her as Hot-Lips or even Major Houlihan. You only called her Margret. That shows at the very least that you respect her."

"I guess so."

"Look Hawkeye, if it makes you feel any better, from what I gathered from Sherman, Margaret has similar fears too. According to him Margaret kept going on to him about how she and her mysterious boyfriend were complete opposites, and she was afraid that it wouldn't work. But you have to remember that you and she are both different people than you were when you started at the 4077. You've realized that medicine isn't as glamourous as you thought, and she's probably realized that the army and its regulations aren't everything they're cracked up to be. Plus, you're not in Korea anymore. Honestly, I don't the two of you would have worked as a couple in Korea. But here…I don't know."

"That's the problem, I don't know either." Hawkeye interjected.

"Of course you don't. But do you know everything about a patient who needs surgery before you cut them open? Never. You can only guess based on what's presenting on the outside of the body. Does that keep you from performing surgery on them?"

"No…" Hawkeye said slowly. "So, you think I should stay with her."

"I think that you shouldn't cast aside the idea because of what you were both like in Korea. True, maybe it won't work out. But maybe it will. Keep seeing her if you want. That's the only way you'll know if you want something more serious with her, Hawkeye."

"I guess you're right." Hawkeye said with a smile. "And I thought you were here just for B.J. Who knew I needed to see a shrink, too?"

"Well, follow-ups are just as important in psychiatry as they are in surgical medicine. That's what I'm here for."

"Thanks Sidney." Before they could continue, Erin interrupted.

"All done!" Erin said with a smile as she passed the scribbled on napkin to Hawkeye.

"Hmmm…" Hawkeye said, attempting to decipher the scribbles that Erin had done. "What did you draw, Erin?"

"Daddy." Erin exclaimed. "My daddy!"

"Ah, I thought that scribble looked like a mustache." Hawkeye said while smiling at Erin as he passed the napkin to Sidney. "Well, I'm no artist. What do you think of it?"

"Don't look at me. I'm used to working with ink blots."

Hawkeye laughed before continuing. "Was there anything else you needed to know about B.J.?"

"There was one other thing I was curious about." Sidney replied. "You mentioned on the phone that Peg was pregnant. Do you know how B.J. feels about that?"

"B.J. doesn't know yet." Hawkeye replied honestly. "I don't know if she's going to tell him before we talk to him or afterwards. She did made it clear that she wants to be the one to tell him."

"Of course." Sidney said. "But that does give me a clearer view of the picture." As he said this, he looked over at Erin. "Well, it looks like she's finished her ice cream, and we've been sitting here talking for almost an hour. What do you say we head back and examine the patient?"

"I guess now is as good a time as any, Sidney." Hawkeye replied. He picked Erin up, and he and Sidney headed out the door.

"You know, doesn't it seem like just yesterday this was us heading in to Post-Op to talk to a patient together?" Hawkeye asked

"It does. It's funny how war has a way of continuing far beyond when the fighting stops."

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hello everyone! I hope you have enjoyed this next installment of the story. This chapter only had one reference to a previous episode:

The More I See You (S4, E22): This is the episode that features Carlye, Hawkeye's former girlfriend from med school.

Unfortunately, I may not be posting another chapter for a while. I'm two weeks into a difficult semester of nursing school. I'm hoping to make some time to write and post chapters, but I wanted to give all of you a heads up in case I don't get to do so. But don't worry, the story isn't over yet: I've already been working more on many of the future chapters. Thank you all for continuing to read my work, and I'll see you in December (hopefully sooner!).