Chapter 11
Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own M*A*S*H…
Hawkeye had taken Erin outside to play so B.J., Peg, and Sidney could have some time alone to talk. For the first few minutes, Hawkeye watched Erin toddle around the backyard as she played with the various toys that were strewn around. Because Hawkeye had not been around many children since his time in Korea, he was unsure of exactly how to interact with her. However, after a couple minutes of playing, Erin came up and broke the ice.
"Dr. Hawkeey?" she asked as she looked at him with her sweet, impish grin.
Hawkeye smiled to himself. He loved her sweet innocent smile and the way she mispronounced his name. "Yes, Erin?" Hawkeye replied.
"Make me laugh?" she asked with typical toddler puppy eyes.
"Ok, if you insist." Hawkeye answered with a smile and a twinkle in his eye. "But what makes you laugh?"
"Bird joke!" Erin exclaimed as she started running around the yard flapping her arms.
"Bird joke?" Hawkeye muttered to himself, trying to understand what she was saying. "Oh! You mean the joke I told you the other day about the flying man at the circus?"
"Yeah" Erin answered with a smile as she continued to run around the yard. "Can you fly?"
"Oh sure." Hawkeye said sarcastically. "You want me to fly. That should be no problem at all." As he said it, he started running around the yard flapping his arms to make Erin laugh. She instantly started giggling.
"Fly, fly, fly!" Erin said as she continued to flap her arms around and tried to fly, all while getting Hawkeye to chase her.
"I think you mean bird imitations." Hawkeye said, having to stop to take a breath. Even though Erin didn't get the joke, she clearly thought Hawkeye was hilarious.
"You funny." Erin said, grinning from ear to ear. "Do you play?"
"Play?" Hawkeye asked. "What do you want me to play?"
"Play tree!" Erin said as she ran towards a tree in the backyard. Hawkeye followed behind her, trying to find out what exactly she meant by 'play tree'. He saw her grabbing the trunk and trying to pull herself up, and quickly realized that she wanted to climb up in the tree.
"Oh, you want to climb the tree?" Hawkeye asked.
"Climb! Like monkey." Erin exclaimed with a grin.
"Ok, hold on." Hawkeye said as he reached down and scooped her up into his arms. He then lifted her up towards the tree. She reached out towards a lower branch, and he set her up on it, all while carefully holding her so she would not fall.
"Wheeee!" she yelled out. "Fun!"
"Yeah, well don't tell daddy about this." Hawkeye said with a wink, knowing how B.J. would be overprotective of his little girl.
"Daddy says ok. Mommy says no." Erin said with a serious expression on her face. Hawkeye laughed, picturing B.J. holding Erin up in the tree while Peg stood on the sidelines telling him to be careful. As he pictured it, he started to wonder about how the conversation inside was going. He hoped it was going well, because he wanted B.J. and Peg to be able to make memories like this one he was making with Erin for years to come.
"Can you climb?" Erin asked Hawkeye with a curious expression.
"Oh sure, if you want to watch me fall out of this tree. Here, I'll bring you back down and show you a new game."
"New game?" Erin asked.
"Yeah, it's great. A real crowd pleaser." He pulled Erin out of the tree and put her onto his shoulders. "It's called "pony ride"."
"Pony?" Erin asked, confused about what Hawkeye was talking about.
"Just hold on tight, ok?" He continued to hold Erin on his shoulders and started to run around. "See, I'm giving you a ride."
"Yay, ride!" Erin said, clearing enjoying riding on Hawkeye's shoulders. "I flying!
"You want to fly?" Hawkeye asked her. "I'll help you really fly." He picked her up off of his shoulders and started to spin her around, all while she giggled madly.
"Wheee….I fly! I fly!"
Hawkeye smiled. Watching Erin play had brought forth a childlike happiness he hadn't experienced in himself in quite a while. As he continued flying Erin around, however, she said something that made him stop and think.
"I flying! Like daddy's choppers." Erin yelled out happily.
Hawkeye stopped flying her around and put her back on his shoulders. "Like daddy's choppers?"
"Daddy's choppers. With sick people. He helps them."
"Oh, I'm all too familiar with those choppers." Hawkeye said quietly. "Where'd you learn about daddy's choppers?"
"Mommy said."
"Hmm" Hawkeye muttered to himself, unsure of how to respond. Even though he knew the drastic effects the war had on people, he often forgot just how far those effects were carried. One of Erin's first memories of her daddy was about how he had to be away during the war. That was something no one could ever undo. Before Hawkeye could think any further, however, Erin interrupted.
"Let's sit, Dr. Hawkeey" she said in a very matter-of-fact voice, sounding as if she was 2 going on 20.
"Fine by me." Hawkeye said as he lifted her up off of his shoulders. "I'm tired from all of those bird imitations." Erin laughed, and the two of them sat down next to each other on the porch. For a minute, they sat down next to each other and simply watched the backyard. Finally, Erin spoke.
"You silly. Like daddy was."
It was almost as if a gray cloud had suddenly floated over the backyard. Hawkeye knew that B.J. was one of the silliest people on the planet. If the situation had gotten to the point where Erin referred to B.J.'s humor in the past tense, things must have been worse than he thought. Unsure of what else to say, he decided to tell Erin more about how silly B.J. had been.
"You know something, Erin? I was your daddy's best friend while he was away."
"Huh?" she said as she gazed at Hawkeye with a curious expression.
"Yeah. And you know, he was a very silly man. We were in a sad place, but he was always able to make me smile. He helped make me silly too."
"Daddy's sad now." Erin said with a frown, repeating what Peg had told her a few days earlier.
"Yeah, that's true. He's very sad now."
"You fix him, Dr. Hawkeey?" Erin asked, staring at him with hopeful eyes.
"I wish I could, Erin." Hawkeye said as he looked at her. "Believe me, there's nothing I'd like more than to come in and fix B.J. But I fix gunshot and shrapnel wounds. I don't really know how to fix your daddy where he hurts."
"Daddy hurts here." Erin said as she placed her hand over her heart. Hawkeye watched her sweet innocence as she tried to process what was going on with her daddy. It was absolutely heartbreaking to see such a young girl having to deal with such a difficult burden. This was something that Hawkeye, as an adult, could barely process. Yet here Erin was, taking it in stride. "I love daddy. Mommy does too."
"We all do, Erin." Hawkeye said quietly. "We all want your daddy to get better."
The two of them were quiet again for a moment. Erin, sensing Hawkeyes gloom, climbed up into his lap and flashed him a big smile, one that he couldn't help but compare to her daddy's smile that he missed so much. She spoke again, this time about a completely separate topic.
"Dr. Hawkeey?"
"Yeah?" Hawkeye replied as he looked at her.
"What 'pregnant' mean?"
"Oh dear." Hawkeye muttered to himself. The last thing he wanted to do was to give the birds and the bees talk to B.J.'s daughter. He decided to give a simple answer and hope that Erin was not too inquisitive. "Well, if someone is pregnant, it means that they are going to have a baby."
"Mommy have baby?" Erin asked, her eyes getting big. "Baby broder? Baby siser?" As she talked, a smile began to spread from cheek to cheek.
"Uh-oh." Hawkeye said to himself, realizing the can of worms he had just opened. Even though Erin had heard them talking about Peg's pregnancy, it was obvious that Peg had not yet directly told Erin about the baby. If she had not told Erin, then more than likely she hadn't told B.J. either. The last thing they needed was for Erin to spill the news to B.J. "Yes Erin, like your mommy. But you can't tell daddy, ok. This is a special surprise that your mommy is going to tell him about."
"Ok. No tell daddy. Surprise." Erin said, nodding thoughtfully to herself. Like any other child, she was easily distractible and suddenly was talking about a whole new topic.
"Dr. Hawkeey, you my friend. Play more?"
Hawkeye laughed. Erin was such a wonderful example of the innocence of childhood: she could go from having a serious conversation to playtime in a matter of seconds. "Of course I'll play with you Erin." Hawkeye knew that even though Erin was a child and he was an adult, the friendship she offered was a pure, special one that was rarely found between adults. The fun she offered reminded him in a way of the friendship he had with B.J. Even though the backdrop of their friendship was the Korean War, they had still been able to create their own fun while going through hell. So he ran into the heart of the backyard with Erin and continued to play, simply enjoying life with her like he had with her daddy.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello everyone! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. This was definitely a fun one for me to write. I know it's been a while since I posted, but that's because school has been crazy! I'm almost done with the semester, though (33 days and counting…). Anyway, thank you again for reading, and be on the lookout or future chapters. As always, feel free to review with any questions, comments, or constructive criticisms. I love hearing from/responding to all of you.
