Author's Notes: I think I have the OTH timeline wrong. It's so screwed up so I'm not exactly sure when this story takes place anymore (or what time 505 happened after graduation)…but I'm picking 2007. P.S. – Divergent by Veronica Roth is an addiction. So is The Host by Stephanie Meyer but I don't think I'll see the movie. I don't like the actors.

My heart is seriously broken over the tragedy in Newtown Connecticut. I can't even. . .

Summary: Blah Blah Blah, just read.

Disclaimer: Hill Tree One, own not do I… - Yoda.

Chapter Four : I Feel Strange, I Feel Changed

He was asleep. Or at least, she thought he was. Brooke could hear even breaths coming from him but she still wasn't sure whether he was sleeping or not. She didn't want to turn around and look at him. She couldn't. After making it clear that nothing would happen between them, he looked rather heartbroken. But she didn't care. She was not going to be his rebound. She was not going to ruin herself just so he could momentarily get 'supposedly' over Peyton, only to go back to her a couple of months later. Brooke was certain that's what would happen and she wasn't going to give in to some fleeting desire of his.

She was better than that.

She was better than Peyton. She was not going to sleep with her best friend's ex-boyfriend. It didn't matter if they were broken up – it still went against girl code. And while Peyton may not care so much about it, it was something Brooke chose to live by.

A moral code between two friends, cherished by those two friends. Or in this case one.

Frustrated by her tireless thoughts, Brooke gracefully pushed the covers back and wandered in to the kitchen, pulling down the white button down shirt Lucas had lent her that stopped mid-thigh. Putting on a pot of coffee, she plopped herself down on a stool and waited patiently. She wasn't sure how long she sat there but before long she felt someone shaking her.

Her head snapped up off the counter and her hazel eyes locked on a pair of blue ones, ones she could easily get lost in.

"Coffee's ready."

The lazy smile he sported made her heart flutter. He looked a little tired and she felt bad for waking him up. She didn't know if maybe the smell of coffee jolted him awake or if she was snoring but she honestly would've preferred him staying asleep. Being alone with him was dangerous, and for some reason, she felt an impending doom.

She took the mug eagerly from his hands. "How long was I out?"

A yawn took over her body just as she was about to take a sip and she felt her arms and legs instinctively stretch on the hard stool, hearing a few pops.

"About thirty minutes." Lucas informed her and Brooke noticed he had a cup of coffee in his hands too.

There was an obvious tension in the air around them, yet she wouldn't be the one to mention it. That would only make things even more awkward. She momentarily daydreamed that she flung her coffee in his face – enough to blind him – then made a run for the door. But it quickly left her mind. It's not like she could ever really physically hurt him.

He cleared his throat gawkily and Brooke broke away from her thoughts.

"Oh, I'm sorry if I woke you up."

He immediately waved away her qualms. "No worries, I wasn't sleeping anyway."

Brooke tried to mask her surprise but found it incredibly difficult. He was never asleep. So, no matter how quiet she tried to be in getting out of bed, he'd already known. What had he been doing while she dozed off in the kitchen? Waiting for her? Watching her?

Brooke shifted uncomfortably on the stool and for the first time, realized how seriously dangerous this situation she was in really was. Lucas' lips on hers kept flashing through her mind. She knew they shouldn't be alone. She shouldn't be here.

Something stupid always happened when they were alone.

Lucas watched as many different emotions played on Brooke's face. She sat her coffee on the counter and ran a shaky hand through her hair. She was…frustrated? He wasn't sure what she was feeling. He was afraid he might have made her feel uncomfortable but he wasn't even sure what he did.

He could see that she was obviously contemplating leaving but there was no way he was gonna let her hail a cab at this time. He glanced at the clock – 1:30 a.m.

There was no way she was leaving. She'd have to stay here. He would make her.

"Brooke…" he hesitated. "are you okay?"

"Tell me about Peyton Lucas." she blurted out and quickly took a sip of her coffee. She needed the focus off of her – them. Her thoughts were taking her into dangerous territory – and the memories of the kiss they shared a few hours ago wasn't helping.

Lucas let out a surprised laugh. "Peyton?"

"Yeah." she stated innocently, as if they were just two friends meeting up at a local café. But by the grimace on Lucas' face, he wasn't buying it. "I mean, you guys just broke up and you were pretty messed up earlier so I think we should talk about it."

"There's nothing to talk about, really." he muttered as he put his now empty mug in the sink.

Brooke scoffed. "Come on, Luke. I know you're hurting. You and Peyton were epic – True Love Always." she felt the need to remind him.

"I don't really know how I feel right now, Brooke."

"Well it's obvious you miss her. I shouldn't have gotten you drunk; I should've talked about this with you." Brooke shook her head.

"Getting drunk was the best idea, trust me."

"No it wasn't." Brooke avoided his eyes as he turned to look at her. "You do stupid things when you're drunk."

Lucas knew she was referring to the kiss. The look on her face when she pulled away would forever be burned in his memory. It seemed like all he ever did was hurt Brooke Davis.

But that kiss was nowhere near stupid…

"Why do you care whether I'm heartbroken over Peyton or not?" he squinted his eyes at her.

"Why do I care?" Brooke scoffed as she rounded the counter to put her mug in the sink. "I care because you're my friend, Luke."

Lucas groaned in annoyance. It was typical of her to try and ignore what happened earlier. "We're not friends Brooke."

"Well that's mean."

"Is it?" he asked, taking a step forward and leaning forward so their eyes would meet. "I don't wanna be your friend Brooke."

Brooke was too speechless to answer. She'd open her mouth, then close it. Nothing – absolutely nothing would come out.

"When I asked you to stay, it wasn't so we could chat about my feelings for Peyton."

He wanted her. He needed Brooke. He couldn't deny it any longer. As much as he wanted to just go to bed with her and wake up tomorrow acting like nothing happened, his want for her – need for her was so much stronger than any feeling he had in his body. It increased as the seconds ticked by.

And he desired to tell her how much. But timing was never something that had been on his side in their relationship. It always seemed like it tore them apart. The timing was never right.

It undeniably wasn't right at this moment.

Brooke stepped to the side, putting some much needed distance between them. "No it was so you could use me as a rebound."

"I'm not!" he rushed to assure her. "I'm not using you as a rebound."

Brooke's mind did flips. "Then…then why did you kiss me?"

Her voice trembled in fear of his answer but she needed to know. It had to be because of Peyton. She couldn't love him anymore and he most definitely could not love her.

"I don't exactly know my feelings for Peyton right now. But I do know my feelings for you never completely went away – tonight just proved that. I need you, Brooke…more than you'll ever know."

Before she could respond his lips were back on hers. And just like before, she turned into a pile of Jell-O. She let herself get caught up in the moment. Somehow in seconds, or minutes – she wasn't really sure about anything anymore, she landed on the counter, Lucas between her legs, and his lips devouring hers as if this was the first time they kissed.

His right hand trailed down her side and lifted her leg higher on his waist, leaving a trail of tingles on her skin in its wake. He wanted to control himself – he tried to. He didn't want her to think this was some rushed one night stand. But as he thought back to all the times they had been together – all the crazy stuff she had made him do – he realized control was never something he had around her.

"Stop…please stop." Brooke mumbled. Her small hands came up to his bare chest and pushed him away slightly. "You're not over Peyton. This is you trying to get over her and you want me to help you." It was like she was talking to herself, trying to make sense of what he was doing. "Say you're not over Peyton."

Lucas let out a sigh of defeat. His strong hands cupped her cheeks. "Brooke you've got to trust me. I won't hurt you again, I prom–"

"Just say it, please." she pressed. It was the only way to keep herself sane. She wanted this just as much as he did, if not more. For so long she had wanted it. But she needed to know that this wasn't love because she could not handle falling in love with him and getting her heart decimated again. She was convinced this would be less painful.

It was not like she would ever believe he loved her anyway…not again.

"Please…" she whispered. Her head dropped, her shoulders sagged as a lone tear slid down her cheek. Everything was overwhelming her.

Lucas instantly took her in his arms, her head resting on his chest. She needed this, and he wasn't going to deny her. He didn't have it in his heart to. Anything not to see her cry.

She stayed in his arms for a while, her cries having quieted down after a few minutes. She could feel his breath on her ear, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

Lucas could taste the lie in his words as he said them and he was almost disgusted with himself after he said them. "I'm not over Peyton." he whispered.

She nodded her head once and quickly brought his lips back to hers.

And though it was what she wanted, Brooke felt her heart break almost completely. But she would help him. She didn't believe Lucas Scott could ever really be over Peyton Sawyer but she wanted him to at least move on for now. Then those two could find their way back to each other with as much moments of clarity as it took. And she could finally move on.

Lucas had to admit, he did still have some feelings left for the curly blonde. He'd be lying if he said he didn't. But not in the way Brooke thought. But he'd be dammed if she thought he wasn't going to spend every last moment proving to her that she was the one he wanted.

He was sure of it.

.

.

"Rachel what is today?" Brooke announced as she bounded into the living room in the usual same, but different outfit – a creamy white blouse tucked into a black high waisted skirt, paired with leopard print heels with a touch of red at the bottom. Though there was nothing to do today, the fashion icon never passed up an opportunity to look good.

The redhead looked up from her bowl of cereal, giving her brunette friend a weird look. "Uh, Saturday?"

"And what is the date?" Brooke smirked, a gleam in her eyes as she stole a cheerio from Rachel's bowl.

"I'm not a fucking calendar."

"Just play along, will you." the fashion icon chastised as she got her own bowl from the cabinet.

Rachel sighed as she turned down the volume on the T.V. "The twenty-sixth of May." she murmured.

"And the year?"

"Two thousand fucking seven, Brooke." she grumbled while stuffing her face with more cheerios.

"Mark this day my friend," Brooke said vaguely as she took a seat next to the redhead. "Because this is the day that Brooke Davis got her groove back."

Rachel let out a laugh at her friend's childish sense of humor before turning the T.V. back up. "Brooke, you've been having non-stop sex for a year, you never lost your groove." She stood to get the box of cereal before turning back to her friend. "then again it is always with the same guy..." she trailed off and snickered at the glare the brunette threw her.

"What I meant was, this is my first date in like, 2 years."

"So? Before that you had Chase, now you have Lucas – I see no problem with that." Rachel shrugged.

"I don't have Lucas, Rach. You and I both know that." Brooke slurred low, walking to get the milk out of the fridge.

Rachel watched her friend with cautious eyes. She decided to ignore that comment and drag it out of her later. Obviously something was off, but she wasn't one to bitch until she had her coffee. "I'm saying – the whole point of this stupid conversation is that you haven't lost your groove. You should be on a sex high from all the sex you've been having." The redhead paused "…too bad it won't happen again though."

She decided to test the waters. And as she said those words, she made sure to study the brunette's reaction.

Brooke cleared her throat. "Yeah, yup." she drawled, popping the p at the end of her sentence. "Too bad…"

"Wednesday was the very last time."

"Mmhmm."

Rachel's eyebrow kinked while she watched Brooke stuff her face with cereal. Screw no coffee. Brooke was hiding something and she was going to find out what it was.

"Plus, you're gonna have to wait a while before you sleep with this new Liam dude which means no sex for at least a month."

Brooke cheekily flashed her pearly whites. "Torture."

Rachel had had it. She was a force to be reckoned with and she would not be lied to. Plus the fact that Brooke sucked at lying to her made everything more easier. She could read her like a book.

"When'd you see him?" she demanded, slamming her bowl on the counter.

The fashion icon donned an expression of deer-caught-in-headlights. Bingo! thought the redhead.

"What are you–"

"Cut the shit Brooke, you suck at lying and you never wait that long to sleep with a guy – unless you've revoked your status as a slut and I seriously doubt that." Hand on her hip, the model demanded the truth. "Talk."

"You're paranoid." Brooke stated, wanting nothing more than to ignore the topic all together. She knew Rachel knew her inside and out – she didn't know why she even tried to lie to her. Rachel would find out she caved to Lucas a few days ago when they were having their 'support party' for each other. It was inevitable.

"And you're pathetic."

Brooke's phone cut through the two friend's conversation. She rushed off to get it, wanting nothing more than a distraction. Unfortunately, Rachel followed suit.

"Brooke, why do you even attempt to lie to me, you know the truth will come out more sooner than later. Spare me the lectures and name calling and spare yourself the stupid doe-eyed expressions and the bad acting you try to pull–"

Brooke tuned Rachel out as she picked up the phone. "Brooke, you've got to get down here, Victoria is raising hell!" Millicent's frantic voice greeted.

Those words made the brunette's ears perk up. She listened attentively to her anxious assistant on the other end of the line.

"Rachel shut the hell up." she grumbled silently at her roommate, waiting for her to amble back into the kitchen before turning her attention back to Millicent. "Millicent, what's the problem?"

"Victoria is changing things! She's messing everything up!" the mousy brunette exclaimed. "I really need your help and I know it's your day off – I mean it's the weekend, it's everyone's day off – but I cannot handle Victoria by myself."

"I'll be there in five."

"You'll be where in five?" Rachel's voice cut in just as Brooke hung up the phone.

"Do you ever take a day off?" The brunette's eyes rolled in annoyance as she gathered up her stuff.

Rachel kinked her eyebrow. "A day off from what? – Sex? No way, but then again neither do you apparently."

"I meant, a day off from prying into my life."

Rachel stopped the fashion icon mid-way out the door. "First, that's basically my day job. Second, you know you love it." Brooke was inclined to agree. At least it showed she cared. "I mean I could be out doing more interesting things. And third, why are you leaving in such a hurry Slut?"

Brooke heaved a big sigh. "Victoria's being a bitch and Millicent needs my help."

"Fine." The redhead stated simply. "You can go–"

"Like I need your permission…"

"–But rest assured that I will be waiting here, clad in a jaw-dropping, sexy, mind-blowing outfit so we can go out to a nice bar and you can drown your sorrows in alcohol and booze and cry over Lucas – once we do that back and forth thing where I corner you and you finally tell me the truth – and pick up a hot one night stand to take your mind off him for a night."

Brooke's eyes crinkled in bewilderment. "So, why is my nickname Slut again?"

….

….

Brooke spotted Millicent right away as she walked into the Clothes Over Bros New York based store. The young assistant was standing on her tiptoes and placing a stack of shirts on the top shelf. Brooke let out a laugh as she watched the girl curse in frustration when she lost her footing and dropped the shirts. Catching Millicent cursing was a rare activity so the brunette was happy she walked in at the right time.

"You should be an actress." Brooke stated, walking over to help pick up the fallen shirts.

Millicent's eyebrows shot up in surprise at the voice but immediately relaxed when she noticed who it was. "Well you asked me to make it real. I even cried a little for dramatic effect, though no one was here to see it."

Brooke placed two folded shirts in the pile. "You called at the perfect time by the way."

Millicent smiled. "No problem."

The two girls continued folding in silence.

Brooke marveled at the fact that she could confide in Millicent. She quickly became one of her closest friends here in New York now that she was away from Tree Hill. Rachel was great – no doubt about that – but Brooke chose to think that everyone needed a Haley in their life. Someone to keep them leveled. And though Millicent was a little bit younger than Haley, they had about the same amount of experience.

Whenever Brooke had a problem and Millicent gave her advice, she instantly thought that's something Haley would say. Sometimes, the thought made her miss the Tutor mom even more than she already did, getting incredibly nostalgic about high school times and living together, and other times, it warmed her heart to know that she wasn't completely alone in this city. That she had someone exactly like Haley who could lend her the advice she needed when she felt like she was going off the rails. After all, Haley wasn't exactly a few rooms away anymore.

"If you don't mind me asking," Millicent started, cutting into Brooke's thoughts. "What didn't you want Rachel to find out this morning?"

Brooke sighed and grabbed the pile to place it on the top shelf. Her height was considerably taller since she had on four inch heels and Millicent finally decided to ditch the stilettos in favor of flats. "So, you know about my…whatever it is I have with Lucas, right?"

"I don't know the gory details but I do know you two are sexing it up every night."

Both girls instantly stopped what they were doing and looked at each other in shock. "I just sounded like Rachel." Millicent stated, dazed. "That was something Rachel would say."

Brooke kinked an eyebrow and walked around the brunette. Rachel would've probably said something more inappropriate but it sounded like Rachel nonetheless. "Looks like she's rubbing off on you."

"No…" Millicent groaned. "the last thing I need is to be acting like Rachel, of all people."

"Hey," Brooke protested in mock-defense. "we're like one in the same, you know."

"Yeah but you do know she's about one thousand times worse than you, right?"

Brooke laughed. "That's what everyone says."

"It's true!" Millicent watched as Brooke hopped on the counter and gestured for her to do the same. "Anyway, to answer your question, yes I do know about you whatever it is you have with Lucas."

Brooke nodded her head and was silent for a moment, truly wondering if this was something she had the strength to say out loud. "I – I went to see him again, Thursday night. I wasn't supposed to – Rachel, she's going through something and Thursday, we kind of had a little pity party for ourselves." Brooke stopped herself as her throat constricted and her eyes welled. She waited a considerable amount of time before she was sure she found her voice again and thanked the heavens that Millicent was patient…just like Haley.

"I didn't want to go." She finally continued in a small voice, looking down at her lap in shame. "But I got his text, then he called and…sometimes it feels like I just can't say no." At the end of her sentence, a tear finally fell. Brooke didn't care enough to wipe it away.

There was a long pause before Millicent spoke. "Brooke…" she hesitated a moment to properly collect her thoughts. "I feel like I could help you more if I knew more about it. I've never actually had the pleasure of meeting Lucas so I really can't vouch for him. And in a situation like this, I feel like I shouldn't be biased even though I really want to because it's killing me to watch you break apart like this."

Both women sat in silence as they mauled over Millicent's words. Millicent reached over to grab Brooke's hand, lending her the comfort she knew she needed. "I think we both know exactly who you desperately need to talk to." she advised quietly, before shaking her head at her words.

"No scratch that, who you desperately need to see. Someone who knows both you and Lucas inside out."

….

….

"Nathan!" Haley called as she paced around their room. "Do you know where Brooke's cell phone number is? I wrote it down on a piece of paper when she told us she changed it but I can't find it."

Nathan walked in carrying a basketball. He had obviously just come from practicing down at the court. Haley grimaced at his sweaty appearance. "What?"

"You're sweaty."

"You love it." Nathan rolled his eyes at his wife's antics. "What was that about Brooke's number?"

Haley let out an exasperated sigh. "I can't find it." She went back to pacing in their bedroom. "I could've sworn I left it right on my dresser after I wrote it down but it's not there."

Nathan peeled off his sweaty shirt and threw it haphazardly in the hamper. "Why do you need it?" he asked. When he heard no response, he turned to his wife to see what distracted her, only to find out it was him. "My eyes are up here, Hales." He smirked.

"Oh hush." Haley scolded as she flushed in embarrassment, feigning nonchalance. "Even after all these years your abs never cease to amaze me." She finished with a chaste peck to his lips before going back to looking in her drawers. "I'm looking for it because I wanted to remind her about Jamie's party."

Nathan stood behind his wife watching her go crazy with panic. "I doubt she'd actually forget Hales."

"Considering I haven't talked to her in eight months, I wouldn't know what's going through her head. After I caught her and Lucas in the laundry room, she hasn't called me since." Haley's hands went to her hips and she stood in frustration. "I have been having lovely conversations with her home phone answering machine though. The last time I called her it was basically the normal pleasantries you know? How are you doing, how's life, are you still alive? Things like that. Then I said something like how she's setting herself up for heartbreak and maybe that's why she hasn't called." Haley's shoulders sagged in defeat and she sat herself down on their bed. "I mean, maybe she was thinking of calling and then I went and brought up Lucas and she decided against it."

"Hey Brooke, it's me. Your cell phone's off…it's always off nowadays. So, how are you, how's Rachel?" she asked the question before she realized she didn't really want to know about the redhead. "Anyway I just called because; well I don't really have a reason. And… I shouldn't have to have a reason to call you Brooke!" she chastised in frustration. "You're one of my closest friends, at least you were…" she trailed off sadly.

"I don't know why I even keep calling, you never call back." She sighed as she closed the door to the bathroom she walked in and sat down on the edge of the tub. "If it's because of Lucas I – well you know my opinion on that. You're basically setting yourself up for heartbreak Brooke…but I just want to tell you that I'm always here for you, like I've been saying these past months. I understand you're gonna do what you want to do – you always do – just, understand that this is probably the stupidest thing you've ever done because this will hurt more than anything in your life once it all hits the fan."

"Haley," Nathan said gently, snapping her out of the memory. "Even if you didn't bring up Lucas, she probably wouldn't have called back. You've been calling every other week these past eight months."

Haley wiped at a few stray tears before shaking her head for being stupid. "I know. I just need to know where her mind is. I was really surprised when she sent me that email saying her number changed. It was…weird and random but it almost felt like I was getting a call from her. I was finally getting a response."

Nathan shook his head. "She probably just didn't want us to think she died if we tried calling her old cell and got that 'this number is not in service'." He said as he tried to imitate the robotic voice of the recording. Haley released a small laugh and he marveled at seeing her smile.

"Do you know where the number is?" she said after a short silence.

Nathan took out his phone and handed it over to her. "Yeah here you go. I told you to save it in your phone."

Haley playfully smacked his arm. "I was going to." She rolled her eyes at Nathan's unbelieving expression. "Remember Jamie took my phone and hid it then we finally found it in his diaper?"

Nathan scowled at the memory. "What I remember is being the one who had to clean Jamie's poop off of it."

"I don't know why you're still bitter about that, I'm the one who had to change his diaper. That was a nightmare." Haley gave him a pointed look. She was right. He knew she was right.

As if on cue, a loud piercing cry floated through the house. Haley's head cocked to the side as she looked at her husband. "Could you?"

Nathan raised an eyebrow at his wife's expression. "Are you trying to seduce me?" Before she could answer he pecked her lips once. Then twice. "Let's hope he doesn't cry even more once he smells me."

Haley smiled faintly but let it go slowly once he left. She sighed and eyed the phone in her hands. It was now or never, she resolved. Even if she got Brooke's voicemail again, she'd keep calling. Haley wasn't one to give up on friends, especially Brooke. People as loyal as her came once in a lifetime and Haley was determined not to let her slip away.

She went to Contacts and found Brooke's information easily. She was listed under Annoying Pest and had a thumbnail picture of her sticking out her tongue with two red horns edited on top of her head.

Haley shook her head in amusement at her husband.

Just as she was about to hit call, her own cell phone rang from on her dresser. She briefly thought about ignoring it. Then she had the thought that it could be Lucas. Picking it up, she crinkled her eyebrows in confusion. Unknown Caller.

Putting away the thoughts that once she picked it up she just would hear someone breathing or that it would be someone calling to tell her exactly how she would die, she hit the little green button and held the phone to her ear. She watched too many horror films. "Hello?"

"Hi."

Haley almost choked on her own spit. It couldn't be – "Brooke?" she sputtered. She couldn't believe it. Now she really wasn't one to believe in fate or anything, but this had to be some sort of sign.

"Hey Tutor mom." Brooke said softly as she walked the busy streets of New York. She strolled into a nearby café, ordered a coffee and took a seat. She had decided to take Millicent and Rachel's advice and finally call Haley. She really needed her. "How you been?"

"H–How've I been?" Haley repeated incredulously before remembering to keep her cool. She didn't want to drive Brooke farther away than she already was. She took a deep breath then counted to ten. "I mean – I've been good. Everyone's been good – Jamie, he's gotten so big."

Brooke smiled at the mention of her godson. The pang in her heart got deeper as she realized the amount of times she's seen him could be counted on one hand. "Probably looks more and more like his mom every day."

Haley snorted. "Try more like his Uncle Lucas. People are starting to make nasty jokes."

Brooke stayed quiet at the mention of Lucas which didn't go unnoticed by Haley. Once she was sure Brooke wasn't going to say anything, she decided to speak. "It's funny, I was actually just about to call you."

"Really?" Brooke croaked.

"Yeah. I lost your cell number actually. Spent a good week looking for it before finally deciding to ask Nathan, turns out he had it in his phone all along."

Brooke laughed. "And you forgot to save it in yours." she stated knowingly.

"In my defense, Jamie's health was more important at that moment…and his punishment."

"Wait, what does Jamie have to do with this exactly?"

"Oh, did I not tell you about the poop-on-the-phone incident?"

"What? No I don't think you did, Tutor mom." Brooke mused.

"You have got to hear this. Ok, so I bring Jamie in my room and I sit him down on the bed where my purse apparently was..."

Brooke listened as Haley told the apparent poop-literally-on-the-phone incident. She couldn't help but retreat into her own thoughts for a second and revel in how good this felt. Talking to Haley was exactly what she needed. Of course they didn't get to the serious stuff yet, but for now, just talking to her longtime friend was enough.

Why had she avoided this for so long? Haley of course had her own opinions and would definitely tell you off if she felt you needed it, but she learned a long time ago that sometimes you needed to be patient with the fashion icon.

Brooke knew this too. Haley was probably mad Brooke avoided her these past months, but she was her friend. If Brooke was honest with herself, she was probably the only true friend she'd had in high school at one point. Haley wouldn't have judged her. They were friends. More than that. Family. And that meant a whole lot to the both of them. It wasn't just a meaningless word they called themselves.

It meant so much more.

"Then, my mother calls me and we follow the noise right to Jamie's diaper!"

Brooke found herself doubled over in laughter as Haley continued with the story. "No way!"

"I lie to you not." the young mother swore. She donned a wide smile once she heard the brunette's laughter. It had definitely been too long. "That's not even the best part. We take off Jamie's diaper, only to find the phone covered in poop!"

"You're kidding me!" Brooke squealed.

"I swear that was the worst diaper change of my life. Nathan acts like he had it worse because he had to clean the phone off – Please!" Haley spit in disbelief.

"Please tell me you didn't keep the same phone." Brooke feared the worst. Knowing Haley, she probably did. She was always big on bargains. There was no way she'd get rid of a phone with a little excretion on it if there was a chance it could be cleaned and look good as new.

"Brooke!" the teacher scolded. "I have work and people that need me; I can't just get rid of a phone because it's a little dirty without a second thought."

"So you're using that phone now?"

"Yes."

"Haley that's disgusting!"

Haley's eyes rolled. "Don't worry. Lucas said when he comes into town he'll go with me to get a new one so all of you can stop telling me how disgusting I am."

Brooke once again stayed silent at the mention of Lucas and this time Haley wasn't just going to let it go.

"Speaking of... he who shall not be named, starting now, how's that going anyway?"

"It's..." Brooke didn't have any words. She didn't exactly know how it was going. She doubted Haley would just be satisfied if she told her they basically had sex every day.

Her mind was confused on what to do. Plus there was Liam to think about. He was a really nice guy and had been really cool about rescheduling their date. Plus he was totally hot – Brooke thought that was a definite pro. But she knew he wasn't someone she could ever fully love. She honestly didn't think she'd ever be capable of loving someone else. Not in this lifetime. Lucas had a hold on her. She couldn't break it if she tried.

That was just the way her sucky life was.

"Brooke?" Haley questioned after a long silence, snapping the brunette back to reality.

"It's..." Brooke repeated but didn't get far. The bell above the café rung, signaling a new customer and she looked up despite her obvious disinterest in who could be coming in. Her breath caught in her throat once she saw who entered, preventing her from breathing, let alone speaking.

She wanted him to notice her, to see her and maybe come over and they could have a civilized conversation with their clothes on for once. But then she noticed he wasn't alone and she wanted nothing more than to disappear. He had his arm around a woman who was about her height, dressed in almost the same business outfit as her, only she was a blonde. Of course she was a blonde.

"What the hell?" she whispered, dazed.

"Brooke?" Haley repeated, more firmly. "Are you okay?"

"No I – I actually have to go Haley, I'll call you later."

"No Brooke–" Haley tried to stop her because she hadn't talked to her in eight months and they hadn't even gotten on the important subjects but the fashion icon had already hung up.

Haley sighed as she stared at the phone before flinging it on the bed. Brooke clammed up – again. Haley didn't know how to prevent it from happening; the brunette just didn't want to open up to her. And that hurt more than she cared to admit.

"How is she?" Nathan asked as he came in carrying Jamie.

Haley sighed and shot him a defeated look. "She's horrible. But of course, she'd never admit that."

Haley knew she sounded bitter, but she was way past caring.

...

...

Brooke ducked as Lucas head turned for a spilt second. She hid behind the thin menu the café gave. Two excruciating minutes later, she finally peaked around the menu only to see Lucas and his lady friend at the front of the line.

This was her chance. She could dart out the door while they were both ordering what they wanted. She quickly gathered her stuff and stood slowly from her chair. She cursed herself as she was walking for wearing heels because they seemed like the loudest thing on the planet now.

As she was heading down her row a lady sitting a few seats in front with a baby had caused a commotion. The baby had knocked down the tall glass of orange juice and the glass shattered everywhere. Brooke now realized she would have to cross over and go down the row closest to the counter – where Lucas and his lady friend currently were. Before she even had time to think, all the heads in the café turned toward the noise of the shattering glass, including Lucas'.

His eyes locked on hers and Brooke felt like disappearing for the second time that day. He looked pleasantly surprised then scared. As if she had just caught him doing something illegal. He waved awkwardly at her but she didn't respond. Just stood there staring. His lady friend noticed his wave and she turned to look at her. Brooke wanted to shrink.

She had no choice now but to walk up to them. It would look weird if she just left. Taking a deep breath and plastering a smile she perfected long ago on her face, she walked up to the counter. "Hey Luke." she said quietly.

To her surprise, the smile he sent her didn't look the least bit as painful as her voice had sounded. "Brooke." He said and to her surprise again, engulfed her in a hug. "How are you?" he murmured.

"Good – great. You?" A shiver ran through her body as she talked to him.

"Good too."

They kept eye contact. Brooke felt frozen as a statue. After a few seconds the woman next to him cleared her throat awkwardly and Lucas finally remembered she was there.

"Oh Brooke this is Lindsay, my editor. Lindsay, this is Brooke." he introduced.

"Hi." Brooke smiled and tried her hardest to make it look genuine. She looked behind her briefly and saw a crowd forming around the table where the woman's baby knocked over that drink. They all were helping pick up the pieces of glass that had fallen. Brooke realized that maybe if she had stopped to help the woman that she could've avoided Lucas and his editor.

"Brooke Davis." She said sticking out her hand for the woman to shake.

She took it wordlessly. "Brooke Davis? As in the Brooke Davis from the book? And the fashion designer?"

Brooke let out an awkward laugh at the mention of Lucas' book. The book she never even finished. "That would be me."

"Wow it's, it's an honor to meet you." Lindsay smiled. Brooke Davis was even prettier in person than Lucas' book had described her and any photo she'd seen in a magazine. Lindsay could easily see why Lucas had been attracted to her. And though she had read Lucas' very first rough copy of his book, she wondered silently why exactly this duo had broken up.

"So Brooke, what brings you by this café?" Lucas questioned breaking the brief silence that had taken over.

"I was actually just stopping by to get something to drink but I actually have to go. It was nice to see you Luke and it was nice to meet you Lindsay."

"Likewise."

Lucas' gaze lingered on Brooke and she met it for a few seconds before turning and walking out of the café. She walked a block before stopping in an alleyway. She leaned against the brick wall and collected her breath. Her whole body was shaking.

She was in way too deep.

"Lucas?" Lindsay questioned. His eyes finally moved from the door and down to hers. "So that was Brooke Davis huh?" she started slowly.

"Yup." Lucas said but offered nothing more.

Lindsay kinked an eyebrow. "She seems nice."

Lucas thought nice didn't cut it. "Oh yeah she's ... amazing." He smiled just thinking about her.

"Why'd you two break up again?"

Lucas furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as to why she'd ask him that. "Lindsay you've read the book."

Lindsay sat down at a nearby table after getting their coffee and Lucas shortly followed suit. "What I read was she broke up with you but you never really got a reason and eventually moved on."

"I did get a reason." he muttered.

Lindsay rolled her eyes. "Ok but you never believed her reason."

Lucas sat his cup down in frustration. "Why exactly are we talking about my ex-girlfriend?" he questioned.

"I just..." Lindsay was embarrassed, to say the least, to admit she had been a little jealous. A girl like Brooke Davis wasn't someone you got over easily. "I just need to know if there's anything I need to worry about."

She said it so fast that if Lucas wasn't sitting so close he probably wouldn't have heard her. He smirked at the fact that she was jealous. He almost found it quite amusing. "There's nothing you need to worry about." He reached over the table to take her hand in his.

Lindsay smiled at their joined hands. It looked nice to her. "Lucas, are you sure? Because I have read the first draft of your book and I do know that what you guys had was real."

Lucas' eyes darkened at the mention of his first draft. He had hated Lindsay when she was putting all these red x's on pages in his book. On particular pages he tried not to think about. She'd had changed so much, sometimes he'd look at his book and wonder if he even really wrote it. It had looked so foreign to him by the time they were officially done with it.

"Are you sure there's nothing there? Absolutely nothing?"

Lucas clearly couldn't say there was absolutely nothing there. This thing with him and Brooke wasn't stopping anytime soon. He knew that. But he couldn't let Lindsay know that.

Smiling, he squeezed her hand in reassurance and looked into her eyes. "Absolutely nothing."

...

...

Brooke walked into her apartment. She felt like the day had basically been a waste. She searched the apartment for Rachel but found that she was nowhere to be found. Shrugging it off, she checked her messages on her phone. She had one from Liam.

'Can't wait for our date. Is it un-manly of me to be nervous?'

Brooke smiled to herself and typed a quick reply back. She had another message from Victoria demanding to know why the store hadn't been opened today. Was she crazy? It was Saturday. Brooke swiftly deleted the text. While some stores may have opened today, this was her day off. And all of her employees. She honestly didn't think it was right for anyone to have to work on the weekends.

Just as she was about to close her phone, she got a text...from Lucas.

'we need 2 talk.'

Brooke stared at the message for a good two minutes before deciding to delete that one too. She had a date tonight. One thing she didn't need was the shadow of Lucas Scott and all his drama hanging over her. She was going to have fun tonight with a nice guy and not think about Lucas showing up at the café today with another woman. She was not.

Though, she could try and process it all now and have her mind clear for later. Rachel probably would've called her on what a bull shit idea that was but she couldn't help herself. The image of them entering the café laughing together wouldn't leave her mind.

Of course, no one knew about her and Lucas' arrangement except...her and Lucas. With the exception of Rachel, Haley and Millicent.

So it would be normal for a guy like Lucas to go on a date with a normal lady. And Brooke didn't know why all this was getting to her anyway. She had a date tonight with an awesome guy. It wasn't like her and Lucas couldn't hang out with other people.

And even as she thought this over and reprimanded herself for being jealous in the first place, the feeling wouldn't leave. And no matter how hard she tried, it was still there. Seeing Lucas walk in the café with Lindsay brought her back a few years – to high school. When she saw that webcam.

Brooke peeled off her clothing and got in the shower. When she got out, she heard the faint noise of a laughing track. She walked in the living room and saw Rachel slumped on the couch.

"Hey," she greeted. "Where were you?"

"Out."

Brooke's eyebrow rose at Rachel's response and the lack of elaboration. The redhead turned from the T.V. and fixed a blank stare in Brooke's direction.

"You're not the only one who can keep secrets."

Brooke groaned. "Rachel, I'm not keeping secrets from you."

"Don't insult my intelligence, Brooke. It's beneath you."

"I'm not–"

Rachel closed her eyes in exasperation. "Please stop denying things you're getting a little repetitive."

Brooke's shoulders fell in defeat. She should just tell Rachel. She should've already told Rachel. It was easier that way. Rachel gave about the same advice as everyone else, only it was sometimes dirtier or just more straight forward. Brooke came to realize by being friends with Rachel that sometimes she needed it the blunt way. No beating around the bush.

"I thought we told each other everything, Brooke." Rachel said so quietly that Brooke thought it might've been a whisper.

Her eyes widened. She didn't want Rachel questioning their friendship. That was the last thing she'd ever wanted her lying to result to. "We do–"

"I went to see that guy and I asked him for it. I had this sick craving and not because you lied, just because. Probably because I did it yesterday." Rachel turned to Brooke and held her fingers a centimeter apart. "I was this close to buying it. This close, Brooke."

Brooke swallowed. Rachel was on the verge of tears but determined not to let them fall.

"Then I stopped because...because of you. You came to my mind. I thought about you and your disappointed face when I did it then and how disappointed you'd be if I did it now."

Brooke went to say something but Rachel wasn't finished.

"I wasn't going to tell you. But we're friends, we don't bull shit each other, remember? I know you have a habit of doing it anyway because that's just how you are but I figured you'd be over that by now. Especially since you're just with me – no one else from that hick town is even here." Rachel was silent for a while as she stared into space. Brooke listened patiently because she knew Rachel wasn't done.

"I think what hurts more is that you went to him at a time that I needed you there for me."

Rachel turned the T.V. back on though they both weren't really paying attention. Brooke opened her mouth to say something again but found that there was nothing she could say. Nothing she said would take back what she did. Nothing she said would make this better.

After a few minutes of silence, Rachel turned the T.V. off and got up to go to her room. "Don't you have a date to get ready for?" she muttered.

Brooke's head fell in her hands. She didn't even feel like going on the date anymore. She was in so much deep shit she didn't know how to get out. She went to her room and dressed for her date slowly, almost willing it to never come.

The buzzer rang in a few minutes, signaling Liam was here. Taking one more longing glance at Rachel's door, Brooke grabbed her purse and headed.

"You look beautiful." Were the first words he said to her as she met him in front of the building. He greeted her with a kiss on her cheek and handed her flowers. "I'm a lucky guy."

Brooke smiled and glanced down at the red roses in her hand. "The flowers are beautiful."

"Then they go perfect with you."

"Such a charmer." Brooke laughed.

"Well I've got to step up my game if people are gonna see me with such pretty woman."

They started walking towards his car, arm in arm. Brooke couldn't fight the smile on her face, even if her day had been a little sucky.

"I'm parked just around the corner." he informed her.

Brooke nodded in response. "So where exactly are you taking me Mr. Romantic?"

"Only the best for Ms. Davis," Liam started. "But I have to say, it is a surprise."

"You're not gonna kidnap me then kill me, are you?" Brooke joked.

Liam's eyes widened. "Kill you? If I were to kidnap you, I'd definitely keep you to myself." he winked.

"Ooh naughty, I like it."

They laughed as they walked along. He started telling her about his day and Brooke felt excitement run through her entire body. She couldn't wait to get to know Liam better; he was already growing on her.

When they neared the car, Liam rushed over to open the door for her. As she settled into the passenger seat, she couldn't help but wonder what Lucas was doing at this moment. But as soon as Liam sat in the car and shot her that million-dollar smile, all thoughts of Lucas left her mind.

Maybe she could actually have a nice time on this date.

Maybe Liam was a guy she could actually date and perhaps fall in love with.

Maybe Lucas Scott didn't have such a big hold on her heart.

Maybe there was such a thing as moving on.

...

...


Just wanna say: Dan as Gossip Girl was...don't even... I just can't...which is why I stopped watching that show. -_-

#*%&

craxygirl54: Hmmm, I don't think that version of her will be in this story, lol. We all know she didn't come around until much much later.

BpDs89: Hopefully. One can only pray, lol. I love your reviews.

xXalienatedXx: That was the highlight of mine too. I'm like whoever wrote this obviously watches OTH.

dianehermans: No one does. And this chapter was dedicated to you :)

GoodGirlGoneBad1984: I know. But as you can see in this chapter, B. Davis really did get her groove back.

bjq: I honestly love your enthusiasm but I can't give anything away.

Guest: Thanks for the review and for liking it!

caiteexx: Aren't we all?

sunshine: Yup so true. This story is definitely showing the weaker side to Brooke when it comes to Lucas. The side she usually tries to keep hidden or cover up by a facade.