"Sweetheart, I'm going to Switzerland."

"What?"

"Scott has insisted I go with Logan to Switzerland for that arms control conference. He wants Logan as his Avenger and me as a mutant with a physical 'anti-deformity' and enough knowledge to bring down countries. Oh, and I think I'll have to take Stevie. You can't take him to work, Tora's off doing Tora stuff, I can't impose on Luke and Jessica anymore and Stevie hates the Baxter Building unless Eva's there."

"Is that wise?"

"People will think twice before shooting a woman carrying a toddler, no matter the woman's reputation and I've been wanting to see how the bulletproof blanket works out."

"TANA!"

"What?"

"You can't just test safety blankets on our son!"

"Do you think I should use the lead-shielded one?"

"You're deliberately missing the point here…"

"Oops, have to go, Scott's glaring at me. See you, darling. Bye!"

The screen flickers out and I sigh. She does this deliberately. She's always going to be like this, wild and free, no matter how hard I try. She may be married, but she's never going to change just because she happens to have made some vows and lives with me. She'll always be Etana; running around, saving the world, being highly sarcastic and insulting important people. I suppose it was the fact she acts like rank and class don't exist and treats everyone the same that attracted me to her in the first place. She judges people on their actions, not their words or their bloodline. But she has suddenly refused to be parted from Stevie for more than a few minutes. I'm not certain what has spiked her protective instinct.

I point to one of the subordinates.

"You! Tell me when the Utopia delegation arrives at the Swiss arms control conference!"

"Yes, Sir!"

I might not be going, but I can definitely watch and make sure Etana doesn't end up in danger. Who am I kidding? It's the world leaders who are in danger of her acid tongue and sarcasm. She seems to delight in insulting people. Important people who are full of themselves for preference, but she'll settle for a normal person as well.

I sigh and go about doing my job, all the while worrying about the magnitude of trouble Etana will find and plunge headfirst into.

"Sir? The Utopian delegation has arrived. I've set up the screens in your office…"

"Thank you. Please put the word out I don't want to be disturbed until the conference is over."

"Yes, Sir!"

I stare at the screens as Cyclops walks in, talking to Wolverine with Etana fussing over Stevie behind them.

"And one of the Utopians seems to have brought a child… Oh. Security seems to be pulling her up."

"You can't bring that child in here!"

"I'm sorry. But there are only eight people in the world I would leave him alone with. His father's at work, his 'uncle' is here today, his 'aunt' is busy trying to keep her own children in check and Stevie is terrified of Doreen's pets. He doesn't like the Baxter Building unless one of his parents or his aunt is there and the remaining two people are not exactly babysitter material. I only trust James with Stevie because James would die to save him but James is busy being a hero and Tony is… rather exhausted right now. You could have supplied childcare facilities you know. I'm not leaving a two-year-old at home alone."

"Oh…"

And Etana hurries after Logan, whispers something quietly to Cyclops then claps her hand onto his shoulder and laughs.

"Go get them, leader-boy."

He smiles at her and nods, and she stands next to Logan as Cyclops gives his speech about the Sentinels. And then someone says that the Sentinels don't exist and Etana steps forward, eyes flashing dangerously as she gently manoeuvres Cyclops out of the way.

"Do you know, the death camps of the Holocaust didn't exist? That Treblinka was a labour camp? No people died except of old age or illness? That is what you are saying. Once again, one of my people are being persecuted and downtrodden. Once again, I have to watch as my kind are killed. When you have lived as long as I have, seen nations rise and fall, you'd think you'd become insensitive to death and genocide. Let me tell you. You don't. Every time I see a new atrocity, I feel the pain as if it were my own. And each time it gets worse, because Every. Single. Time, humanity says 'never again' and ten, twenty years later, it has happened again!"

"And who are you, who speaks with such…knowledge?"

"Etana Bat Aleka, also known as Justice's Shadow, the Black Angel, the Half-Fallen, the Kingmaker, the Lady of the Night, the Malach Hamavet and Death's Left Hand. I was old when Romulus murdered Remus on the banks of the River Tiber. I have hunted down murderers, fought monsters and challenged gods. And every single time I see genocide and senseless death, I feel like the child who had watched her guardians murdered in front of her once more. And then as if I had just fought for my life once more and taken the first life I ever had. I am not proud of what I am and what I do. But it is needed. I do the jobs the rest of the world knows need doing but find too dirty to authorise. I tidy up and they all breathe a sigh of relief and talk about how wonderful it is that this tyrant or that dictator is gone and then in the next breath they decry me as a murderous demon. Speak not of hardship in my presence. You don't know the meaning of the word. Hardship is becoming an assassin because you owe a man your life and freedom. Hardship is wishing you were dead as you cry into the night as you realise you have killed men when you were afraid and alone. Hardship is never being able to stay in one place because people only tolerate you when they need you. Hardship is remaining young as your friends age and wither and die. Hardship is watching your students leave you and suffer so much pain because they are something unique, something special. You want to know the price that has been paid to keep this world at peace and free. Look no further than the blood on my hands. You dare insinuate that we have made up the Sentinel threat? Then count me out of protecting the world. You wouldn't last a year."

"You are so sure of your abilities?"

"I was one of the three that destroyed the Serpent and his Worthy, but of course, people forget that because the Avengers were there and what use could two mutant women be to Earth's Mightiest Heroes? Children the lot of them. Sweet, endearing children, but children none the less."

She smiles sweetly and I bury my head in my hands. She had to do that, didn't she? Antagonise some of the most important people in the world? And then I start laughing hysterically. I should have known she'd do this!

"Attention all humans and human sympathisers! Eeek!"

The cameras swivel around to see a boy with ridiculous pink hair standing stock still with Etana behind him, still smiling sweetly.

"Now, if you are stupid enough to try and use your telepathy on these people, I will lobotomise you with this diamond dagger that a very dear friend gave me when I was in Madripoor in the 1800s. It's been invaluable since the advent of these ridiculous metal detectors."

"You… wouldn't…dare…"

"Oh, but you fail to realise that I was the one who taught my dear Logan down there, or the one who taught Max Eisenhart how to kill a man before he was fourteen. Killing has always been a necessary evil to me. You do realise what damage you do to our people with your relentless anti-human crusade? But then, you're no more than a child, are you? You're what… Twelve? Thirteen?"

"Sixteen!"

"Oh, how old you are."

She has to allow the sarcasm to drip like thick treacle as Security stand, uncertain of how to proceed. Etana rolls her eyes and it's a mark of how well I know her that I can see that.

"Logan, be a dear. Third pouch on the right of the buckle, there's a thin piece of cloth. Pull it out and wrap it round Mr Quire's head. It's a telepathic dampener. Sadly it will give him a terrific headache, but it's a sacrifice we have to make."

And then she sighs.

"I'll head off. Logan, take Stevie will you? He seems to get teleportation sickness for any journey over about a mile and I want to make this in one jump."

As soon as Logan is holding Stevie, Etana vanishes. And then people start hammering on the door, shouting that 'Death to mutants' is now trending on Twitter and I need to go and see the President and everything is so exhaustive that I know, I just know I'm not going to see Etana for more than a few minutes for the next couple of days.

It all costs a lot more than a few days away from my wife.