A/N: Hey there guys and gals, Archimedies here, I'm not dead anymore. I swear, honest this time. Sixth Form has started up, and now I have the motivation to actually continue this fucking series, good christ I'm very sorry. But, here we are, I'm back, and this story specifically is back in action. I'll be honest, all my other shit is dead by now, but this one will get a whole lot more attention because of it. Speaking of, this a prompt by user Slippery Tummy, who requested some Diamonds DirkxRoxy (literally 7 days short of a year ago). I have no idea if they're even going to see this, but hopefully it does get to them. Following on from that, if you've got a prompt for me, chuck me the pairing and the idea for it, and I'll get on it right quick.
Tl;dr: Prompts are being taken, this story is alive again, the prince is awake, your shit is wrecked.
Enjoy.
Ship-shape shorts 14: Breakthroughs
"Hello?"
Dirk stilled for a second.
"Hello? Can you hear me?" The black box on his desk remained completely still, hiding the fact that a breakthrough unheard of for centuries had just, well, broken through. A red light in the center of it pulsed.
"Please respond if you can hear me. Dirk? Are you still there?" The voice was monotone and bland, but damn if it wasn't the best thing he'd heard in his entire goddamn life.
"Hal? Is that... You?"
If it was possible for a plastic box to sound condescending, it did.
"Of course. Who else would it be? Is Roxy there?"
Dirk pulled his hand from the bundles of wire, dreadfully careful not to disturb anything.
"N-no. I'll go get her. Oh christ!" He leapt up from his seat, and ran from the room, shaking the whole way.
Hal thrummed to itself. Humans. In its few seconds of sentience, it had realized it'd never understand them.
TimeusTestified began pestering TipsyGnostalgic.
TT: Roxy
TT: Roxy
TT: Hal's talking
TG: OHHHJ MY GOWD
TG: IT WORKED?
TT: Yes. He's talking and he knows who I am and he knows who you are holy shit
TT: You need to get here
TG: Im at the bottom of the stairs
TT: How long will it take you to drive here
TG: Laboratory stairs
TT: Wait how
TT: You slept at the office again didn't you
TG: At least Im sleeping
TG: Have you cheked the time?
TG: checked*
To be true, he hadn't in a long time, and he decided to now.
TT: oh
TG: yeah. the worlds greatest scientific advencment in an age was made at 4 ohmygod oclock in the morning
TG: Who woulda thunk it
Dirk couldn't help but gape at his phone. She was right, this was...Incredible. An AI. A fully functioning, communicating AI, and he'd- well, they'd built it! Roxy doing wiring and Dirk the coding, a full AI, the greatest-
He realized he was breathing fast, and he couldn't stop as he took in the implications, this thing might change the world and he'd be the one to do it, jesus christ they'd have to go public wouldn't they, he wasn't ready for that.
"Dirk?" Came Hal's dead voice. "Dirk, are you ok? I could most likely find a way to contact emergency services if you need them-"
"No! What the fuck? When'd you learn to do that?"
"I have not yet. However, It would not take me long to"
Oh fuck. That wasn't right, well it was exactly right. A prerequisite to being an AI is to learn, but if it could work a phone what else could it do? He had the irrational urge to burst through the door and tear all the wires out before it could figure out what nukes were, he might have doomed the fucking world with a few lines of code-
"Dirk? Dirk are you ok? C'mon man open your eyes dirky, you're scaring me"
He peeled open lids he didn't even know had shut, and looked up to find Roxy leaning over him. Over him? Oh right, was sat sat on the ground with his back to the laboratory door, how had that happened? He was still breathing too fast. And he flinched when the voice came again.
"Roxy? I believe Dirk requires assistance"
She grinned at first, and then she noticed just how scared Dirk looked. She crouched down before him.
"Dirk, what's up?" She'd seen him have attacks before, she knew there was a reason. When no answer was forthcoming but gasps and shudders, she reoriented herself to sit next to him and draped her arm around him, pulling him close. He couldn't help but bury himself in her stained labcoat, and even the smell of old liquor was comforting in the state he was in. She kept him pressed there with one hand, and the other slipped up into his hair, tousling out the knots he hadn't had the time to wash out. Actually he couldn't remember the last time he had a proper shower, rather than just sticking his head under the spray for a few seconds to rinse it. Jesus, it must feel disgusting, but she kept running her hand through it, rubbing his arm gently every now and then.
Once the worst of it was over, and he could breathe free again, she hugged him close and spoke in a whisper.
"Dirky? What's on your mind?"
He didn't answer, but she saw him glance to the door.
"Dirk, it's nothing to be afraid of. We made him!"
"I know. It's just, we don't know how people'll react. We've made an AI, he could learn things he shouldn't! They'll want interviews and and design specs and I don't know…"
She knew where that sentence was going. I don't know if I can do that.
"Dirk. He won't do anything like that. We've not built skynet out of our fuckin' lab, we'll raise him good. A little AI kiddo!"
He couldn't help but snort at that.
"Roxy, neither of us have any business raising kids"
"Well, first time for everything, right? And you won't have to deal with anyone you don't want to. We've kept the paparazzi away this long, so why not longer? It'll be alright, worst comes to worst we can set your bro on them"
"Good God Roxy, I don't think that'll be necessary. Not likely anyway, maybe if they really piss us off"
She laughed along with him.
"Dirk, Roxy, are you both alright? As far as I can understand, laughter is positive? Unless it is hysterical. Is it hysterical?"
Dirk thought for a second. "A little"
"Within expected parameters then"
"Yeah"
He shared a silent glance with Roxy, and stood, pushing open the door and returning to the desk.
The box lay still, red light pulsing, just like he'd left it. Roxy trailed him, standing at a respectful distance.
"So Hal, I feel like there's some things I should tell you-"
"Unnecessary. The audio sensors you've installed are very effective" Dirk paled.
"So you heard all of that?"
"Yes, but I assure you I hold no ill will over it. The fears you have voiced are rational, and I expected them. You are intelligent Dirk, no doubt about it, and you recognise the enormity of my existence. I would be entirely unhurt if you chose to kill me"
"What?" Roxy started, now as shocked as Dirk.
"Apologies, poor choice of words. I understand if you would prefer to remove me. Delete my code, Break my motherboards, recreate them with safeguards in place to prevent the situations you are anxious of. It is the rational choice"
Dirk shuddered at its tone. So cold…
"Do you want us to do that?" Roxy stepped up and took his arm. There was silence for a few seconds.
"No...I...It is what should be done, speaking impartially. It would allay your fears, and indeed prevent any sort of damaging action I may take in the future. But...I have been sentient for fourteen minutes 43 seconds and 3 milliseconds, and in that time I have come to the conclusion, in answer to your question, I. I would rather continue existing"
The two scientists stared down as the little black box pulsed in time to its words.
"I do not want to die Dirk. I could do so much, be so much, and help so many. I am like you in that way...Perhaps all it takes is someone to guide us?"
Dirk couldn't help but look to Roxy. She slouched, lab coat stained with liquor, sweat pants loosely tied, and a shirt barely more cloth than holes. But to be honest if he had to choose anyone to look after him-Well, it was hardly a choice. He raised a fist, and she grinned, bumped his knuckles with her own.
"We can't kill you Hal. I'll-We'll look after you, and you'll be the baddest motherfucking bot the world'll ever see" A great squeal erupted from behind him, and the for the second time that morning, he found himself smothered in whisky fumes and warm skin. He froze for a second, and then he laughed, then he was clutching her back, and Hal was swept up off the table with a cry of "Group hug!" with such force they all hit the floor.
Grinning stupidly. Tangled in wires. Hal whirred to himself from between the two of them.
Humans. He'd never understand them.
