A/N: Okay, little warning: there is some bad language, but it had to be there :) And be ready for some fluff/cheesy-ness... Normally not really my comfort zone but I couldn't resist :D

As always thanks to kensi54382 for beta-ing and for you guys sticking around!

I don't own anything!


Deeks was still sitting in the little garden, head supported by his right hand, and thinking about Callen's words. Maybe he should tell Kensi what he was dreaming. It would be embarrassing for him and painful at the top, but it would create trust and probably help both to deal with the dreams. He sighed and grabbed the bottle of water standing next to him on the ground. The pain in his knee had dulled since he had taken the painkillers, as well as the headache and even the nausea had subsided.

Callen had gone inside several minutes ago to make some kind of snack for the two of them since they hadn't eaten anything except for breakfast and it was already afternoon. Deeks could hear Callen telephoning with someone in the background, before steps neared him and the agent stepped outside again.

"Sam and Kensi are on their way, they'll be here in twenty," he enlightened Deeks and then gave him a sandwich he had put together from leftovers.

"Why do you do that?" Deeks asked, looking at his food.

"Why do I do what?"

"You make me a sandwich, convince me to take the meds, wake me from nightmares – why?"

Callen frowned at him and took a bite of his sandwich before he answered. "Because I learnt what family means. You take care of each other. Deeks, Sam and I always give you a hard time and joke around, but do you think we would do that if we didn't know that you wouldn't get us wrong? You're like a little brother to us, just like Kensi is our sister. She is just less annoying than you are."

Deeks grinned and glanced at Callen. He knew that Callen grew up as an orphan and had practically found a real family at NCIS for the first time in his life – that's why that statement was so much more than just a few sentences meant to comfort him. Deeks was family to a man who actually hadn't had a family.

Finally, Deeks nodded and also took a bite of his sandwich. "Family. Never thought I would ever belong to one."


Almost one and a half hours later, Sam and Callen were sitting in the Challenger, watching how Lopez walked away from the boatshed to the rendezvous point he had agreed on with the boss of the cartel earlier that day. Lopez had tried to convince him during the phone call that he had been interrogated but didn't say a word and it seemed to have worked. The microphone in his shoe worked perfectly but Sam and Callen had no clear view whatsoever on the meeting point, the area was way too open. They had no other option but to listen to the conversation and stay as close as possible to Lopez but far enough away so that they wouldn't be seen. Their first plan to infiltrate the cartel and get a man in had been crossed off the list of possibilities when they had gathered how suspicious Hernando Sanchez, leader of the cartel, really was. They could only get Lopez back in and hope that he'd report the date of the next meeting or deal and then step in. Lopez tried to get some information even in that first conversation but had to back off quite soon as to not make himself suspicious. All in all, Sam and Callen didn't learn much, although it did seem like Julio was back in business because Sanchez said he'd get in touch.

"Well, that wasn't helpful," Callen sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"It was at least a beginning."


Kensi was sitting next to Deeks on the couch, a slice of pizza in her hand, eyes fixed on the TV. They had decided to order some pizza as Deeks was in no condition to cook and he wouldn't dare to let Kensi cook anything. Deeks had tried to wash himself as well as possible with a washcloth shortly after Sam and Callen had left but in the end had to ask Kensi to help him clean his back. The two tried to make the best of the situation, keeping the awkward feeling at bay with their normal bickering quite well. Deeks had been oddly silent the whole day and after the second slice of pizza, Kensi couldn't hold back anymore.

"What's up, Deeks?"

Deeks' head jerked in her direction but he averted his eyes from hers as soon as he had met them.

"Nothing?" he more asked than said, saw her no-nonsense face and tried again. "I don't know where to start. When Callen was here, I dreamt again and he later said that I should talk to you, about what I dream… man, that sounds awful," Deeks laughed nervously and kept his gaze steadily out of the window.

"No is doesn't, Deeks. Listen, I know you're not going to like this, but Hetty told me a bit so that I know how to react when you've got nightmares. She didn't go into detail or so…," Kensi knew that she wasn't supposed to say that but she had the feeling that it might help Deeks to open up.

"What did she tell you?" Deeks voice didn't sound hard or judging, he sounded tired.

"That your dad, well, that he drank and was aggressive and then, one night…," Kensi didn't know how to put it in words; it was her partner she was talking about, not just any victim of domestic violence without a face. Of course she felt sorry for them too, but this was Deeks, damn it!

"That then, one night, he shot with a shotgun at us? That he hit? That I shot him after that?" Deeks closed his eyes and forced his fists to unclench. "That's what I dream of. Every damn night I dream of that bastard who called himself my father who would first beat the shit out of my mum and me and then just shot at us. Do you know what it's like to crawl with three bullets in your body to the lifeless form of your mother?"

Deeks took a deep breath and tried to chase the pictures away that slowly made their way into his mind.

"Deeks…," Kensi saw the moisture glistening in his eyes and the slight shaking of his voice all too well. "Is there anything I can do?" she whispered and reached out to touch his cheek, but thought better of it.

"When I wake up, I… I see my father so… just don't touch me, okay?"

Kensi nodded although she had already been told so by Hetty.

"Can I touch you now? Please?"

After a slight nod, barely noticeable, Kensi closed her arms around Deeks' neck and buried her face in his shoulder. "I am so sorry, Deeks."


Marty Deeks was one hell of a guy when it came to pushing things to the very back of his mind, Kensi learnt that pretty quickly. Not even ten minutes after he had sat with wet eyes in front of her, he was back to his old self and joking with her. It was his way of dealing with things and Kensi accepted that. Deeks had opened up to her and she knew how hard that had been for him. Even if it might not seem so to outsiders, Kensi also knew that Deeks was better. He had taken his painkillers without a word of protest after she had promised to wake him up, if necessary, and that was a lot more trust than she had gotten yesterday.

It was just after ten o'clock when the two agents decided to call it a night, Kensi throwing herself on the right side of the bed, Deeks climbing in next to her in the left side. After the op as a married couple it didn't feel awkward to share a bed, even if the little voices kept whispering that it should feel awkward.

Thanks to the painkillers and the stress of the last day, Deeks was more than exhausted when he let himself sink down on the bed, only in a shirt and boxers.

"Tired?" Kensi grinned when she saw him yawning, pushing and pulling his pillow the way he liked it.

"As hell."

Kensi grinned again and snuggled down in the blanket before she killed the light.

"Good night, Deeks."

"Night, Kens."


The first two hours of the night were restful for both agents, but when Deeks slipped into the REM-phase of his sleep, the dreams started again.

When the little Marty Deeks opened his eyes, the clock on his nightstand showed that it was just after eleven at night. The loud voice of his father was carried up the stairs to him, so loud that he couldn't hear his mother's answers. His father had never been one of the caring but the beatings only started with the alcohol. His daddy had turned more and more into a person Marty didn't know. The sound of his father's hand slapping the cheek of his mother was by now as familiar as the turning of a page of a book to him. A book he could easily forget the situation at home over, he could be the hero, saving the ones he wasn't able to save in real life – like his mother.

Again and again he heard his mother being slapped until he couldn't bear it anymore and got out of bed, the little fingers tightly gripping the .38 revolver Ray had given him.

Marty opened his door as carefully as possible and padded the few steps down into the kitchen from where the screaming was coming. If the Brandels had lived in a better neighbourhood, the police would have knocked long ago at their door, but here, in this part of the town, screaming was an everyday occurrence.

"Gordon, please, I'll do everything you say but please don't hurt Marty," he could hear his mother begging for his well-being.

His gaze wandered over the bruises on his arms and chest and thought about the other ones that surely would join the old ones tonight.

"That little bastard!" his father panted with rage and when Marty heard a clicking noise, he knew it was time to intervene. He stepped through the door of the kitchen, clutching the weapon with both hands and pointing it at his father – not, not his father, just the man he hated. The man who stood with a loaded shotgun in front of his mother and was ready to shoot her.

"Marty, get away from here!" he heard his mother's scream just seconds before Brandel turned and fired.

Marty had always been an agile and fast kid, that's the way you grow up when you had to expect punches at all times. Those reflexes kicked in and he threw himself aside, gun still in his hands, but he couldn't prevent some pellets from hitting his body. Pain radiated through his body as he hit the ground, barely conscious.

"Deeks."

Without even registering what he had done, his father turned to face his mother again, who was lying on the ground in front of him, still crying and begging, her face a huge black and blue bruise.

With all his strength that he had left, Marty raised the revolver, aiming as best as he might at the huge mass of his father and pulled the trigger.

"Deeks!"

At the same time, a second shot was fired from the shotgun, the pellets flying towards his mother…

"Deeks! Please, wake up!"

Deeks bolted awake, his body shaking and his mind trying to remember where he was, given the circumstance it was pitch black. His heart was thumping in his chest like he just ran a marathon and he felt cold sweat slowly making its way down his face.

"Deeks, it's me, Kensi. Everything is alright."

His heartbeat slowly calmed – he was safe, he was with Kensi in a safe house after he'd been shot. His father was not there.

"I'll switch on the light, okay? Nothing to worry about."

Deeks took some slow breaths and ran his shaking hand through his unruly hair. He heard the soft clicking of the light switch and the room was flooded with light mere milliseconds later. What a calming effect light had – it washed away the last remains of bad dreams.

"Deeks?"

His gaze focused on Kensi who sat beside him, hair a mess but wide awake, still holding some distance.

"I'm fine." He once again ran a hand through his hair and then rested his head against the head of the bed, closing his eyes. "I'm sorry if I woke you."

"No problem, really. I thought that you would wake up earlier, so…," Kensi said as laid-back as possible and then reached her fingers out for him.

Deeks' eyes were still closed so that Kensi didn't wait for a reaction but took his hand and rubbed her thumb across the back of his hand. As soon as their fingers touched, Deeks stiffened but after a few seconds accepted the touch and didn't flinch back.

"Let's get back to sleep, okay?"

Deeks would have protested in every other situation that there was no way he could go back to sleep right now but with Kensi next to him, he felt safe. He nodded and slid back under the covers and rested his head on his pillow, waiting for Kensi to turn off the light again and then grabbed her hand. For the rest of the night, she was his anchor to reality.


A/N: So, tell me: Too cheesy? Or did I nail it with the Densi fans?

Oh, just that you know, there is whump to follow.. I mean, the bad guys are still out there, right? I think it's time that they have some fun with Deeks... *evil grin*