Chapter 9 – Shards Of A Heart

"What is any of this to us? Time is endless and ours. Love and Death are only the games we play in it." Tanith Lee, Delirium's Mistress

...

Sachiko sat back in her seat and slowly worked her way through the events of the previous day. I went to class as normal, she recalled. I left early so that I could meet Onee-sama at the Rose Mansion so that we could go and attend mass and perform the First Year Welcoming ceremony. Outside the car window a landscape of buildings and businesses slowly slipped past unnoticed as the woman struggled to recall all that had happened to her. I took a short cut behind the club house and was attacked by a girl there...no three girls, she suddenly recalled the wicked gleam of sunlight off the bare blade that the assailant before her had held. Wait, only one attacked me, what happened to the other two? The smooth white skin above her brow creased in thought as she worked her way back to that place and time from the previous day. Someone…someone yelled for me to watch out, she realized. Who? Try as she might she couldn't recall clearly. Suddenly a pair of brown eyes seemed to swim before her vision and a warm smile graced a girl's lips, causing her heart to beat faster. The sight of the nameless slender girl brought to mind the intoxicating scent of something deliciously satisfying. Unconsciously Sachiko ran her tongue across her lips as she recalled the wonderful flavor of the injured girl's blood which she had lapped off her fingers. It was a rich and heady substance she knew she wouldn't mind savoring once again if given the chance. That's right, she was injured, Sachiko remembered once more the cut upon the girl's neck. I hope she made it to the nurse's office. I'll have to find her and thank her for her assistance. There's no telling how that would have turned out without her there as well to chase them off. She certainly seemed alright when I left her, the raven-haired woman mused silently.

Youko watched the woman seated next to her, content to allow her to think about the events of the previous day. I can't believe she would take someone as her Petite Sœur and not remember it! The third year's own Petite Sœur sat deep in thought unaware of the older woman's concerns. What to do about the other problem, Youko pondered. How could she suddenly decide to go through with her obligations after denying them for her entire life? What caused the change of heart I wonder? Concerned eyes continued to regard the girl who had once been a Princess.

The more Sachiko focused on the brief fight the clearer her memories became. In her mind she could see herself walking from behind the club building and suddenly the memories came flooding back in a torrent of sights and sounds as well as contrasting emotions and physical sensations nearly overwhelming her as she once more relived the events of yesterday.

Why? Why is this happening? The Rosa Chinensis en Bouton passed a group of girls who smiled and offered greetings to her. There! It happened again! The first time it had happened the second year student hadn't even been aware of it. The second time she couldn't believe it herself and she had to walk away stunned and confused by the events she had no choice but to believe, having been a part of them. Now, after having witnessed it for a third time she was slightly concerned. What's wrong with me? Why am I doing this?

The woman with the appearance of a seventeen year old puzzled over what she had witnessed. For the past eleven years while attending school at Lillian Girl's Academy, ever since she entered kindergarten, she had cultivated a sense of aloofness, disdain for others that had quickly placed a barrier of distance between herself and her fellow students. This fact, reinforced by the knowledge that she was from a very wealthy and influential family, had kept others from making friends with her. There were the rare students who attempted to bridge that gap, such as the girl in kindergarten who injured herself jumping off the swing set and then suddenly had to move away. All it had taken was a few words to her father to see that the girl's own parents were transferred far away. There were benefits to being rich and powerful after all and Sachiko was not above utilizing them to her benefit.

By the time Sachiko had entered middle school no one would have anything to do with her. Only once had a student made an attempt. The poor girl had approached her during lunch period, letter in hand and beads of sweat upon her brow, ready to confess her admiration. Sachiko had looked at her with such a cold glare that the girl had run from the room in tears. Thus began her reign. Those present who had witnessed the silent, yet heartbreaking exchange, took to calling the raven-hair beauty 'The Ice Princess' behind her back. Sachiko, well aware of the name they had for her, could care less. All the better if it meant that there would be no others attempting to garnish her affections. For a short period of time she enjoyed peace and quiet, however the respite was short lived.

When the heiress to the Ogasawara Conglomerate entered high school the distinction of being the Ice Princess had the adverse effect of drawing her greater attention. As a new first year student with both brains as well as looks, as one would expect there was a line of second and third year upperclassman wishing to be the Ice Princess's Onee-sama. After two weeks of turning down offers she had been invited to the Rose Mansion and was officially declared the petite soeur of then Rose Chinensis en Bouton, Mizuno Youko. Since that time she had once again assumed the mantle of the Ice Princess and distanced herself from other students. Girls, especially those of high school age and emotional development, quickly romanticized her actions making her the most popular girl on the entire campus. They, like others before them, held dreams and hopes of being the one to thaw the frozen heart of the Ice Princess and gain her affections.

Sachiko, for her own part, maintained the illusion of the Ice Princess for as much their protection as her own. She had learned early on what it meant to be close to someone and it had been a costly lesson yet one she had taken to heart. As a young girl she had played with a childhood friend, a daughter of one of the maids in her father's dwelling. As the years passed the other girl grew older and older while she herself simply compensated for her own age by reducing it through her inherent abilities. It had amazed her to learn that her friend couldn't do the same. As a small girl she had thought that everyone could do what she herself could do. The young raven-haired girl with sapphire eyes had sat by her friend's bedside when the end drew near and held her hand till she passed away. Inside her chest she had felt her heart crack at her dear friend's death. Having friends that were not immortals themselves only led to pain and sorrow she learned. Yet while a lesson learned once is good, learned twice is unforgettable. The young woman, still an infant by immortal standards soon discovered that even being an immortal was not enough to save one from the pain of losing others. War waged between her kind and the Ookami. Friends left for battle, never to return, their bodies left upon some corpse covered patch of ground bereft of even a proper burial. Each death caused a new crack within an already battered and damaged heart and then one day the final blow came. News arrived one late afternoon that her mother had perished defending a remote settlement. Her heart, already strained and fractured by the loss of all those that had meant anything to her, finally shattered turning to dust.

During this time of her own personal suffering she had come close to losing her own father. It had taken months to nurse him back to health. The day to day chores of looking after him, feeding him, bathing him, performing all the daily functions that were required to keep him alive had offered her the distraction she required to continue on in the face of such tragedy. Through the course of that time she managed to bury her pain, her sorrow, her love as well as any feelings that might lead to pain, deep within her and locked them away forever. It was far easier to feel nothing than to have to suffer through one more loss, one more death, and one more hole within her life.

Sachiko continued to walk along the pathway while she thought back to the first time it happened. I had just come from behind the club house building and had started to walk along the walkway towards the Rose Mansion so as not to be late for the First Year Welcoming Ceremony. In her mind she could see the first year student who had glanced up only to realize who it was walking towards them. The dark haired girl's eyes had grown large yet she had still managed to summon the courage to greet her senior with 'Gokigenyou, Rose Chinensis en Bouton', Sachiko recalled clearly. Then what did I do? I replied Gokigenyou back and then…then…I did it! I smiled at her! The memory of it sent a shiver down her spine and made her feel flushed as something warm blossomed within her chest. A feeling she could not describe, yet which she strangely seemed to recall from some distant time, though its name escaped her at the moment.

Sachiko had continued walking, unaware that behind her the first year student had actually dropped both her school bag as well as her lower jaw in shock! Next was the trio of students, she thought to herself. They two had greeted her with the customary 'Gokigenyou'. The Ice Princess had smiled and replied in kind only to have one of the girls, emboldened by the response, ask if she could have the en Bouton's signature. I…I signed it! I signed her notebook and then wished them a good day before continuing on my way! The thought of the look on the girl's face made her chest feel warmer for some reason she couldn't fathom. What's wrong with me? The third group, four third year students had waved and offered her a warm greeting and she had found herself waving back and smiling at them as well!

The Rosa Chinensis en Bouton continued on her way with a slight bounce to her step and a smile upon her lips that caused many a student to pause and stare in what would have been considered a rude manner. Sachiko suddenly saw her classmate, Takagi Tsukasa, walking towards her lost in dark brooding thought and recalled that the girl's father was in the hospital. "Gokigenyou, Tsukasa-san," Sachiko offered in greeting as the girl drew near.

Tsukasa, having left drama club rehearsal early due to needing to go to the hospital to see her father, slowly made her way to the second year shoe locker room. Her father had a heart condition and had recently suffered an attack that left him confined to a bed and in need of an operation. The sound of someone addressing her suddenly broke through her worried thoughts and caused the girl to look up. Upon seeing the person addressing her was her classmate Ogasawara Sachiko, a person who had never even once spoken to her before, the girl's eyes grew slightly larger in shock. "Gokigenyou, Sachiko-san," she managed to reply after a slight pause as she stopped next to the raven-haired woman. "Was there something you required?"

"Yes," Sachiko replied as she smiled at the girl with short black hair. "I happened to overhear some of the girls in our class talking about your father," she said softly so that only the two of them could hear her. "Though I know it is not my place to ask, I was wondering how he is doing? If you don't mind discussing it, that is?" Sachiko quickly added, not wishing to be a burden upon her classmate."

"I…I don't mind," Tsukasa replied as she adverted her eyes and glanced away. Seeing such a warm and friendly smile upon the face before her which she had grown accustom to only expressing a cold indifference, just seemed too out of place to remain staring at for long. "My father has a heart condition and is currently confined to a hospital bed. He needs to have a special operation so that they can install a mechanical shunt to help with his CHD," the girl said, her voice laced with concern and worry. "They're trying to find a specialist to perform it now but so far are not having much luck."

"I see," Sachiko replied with a sympathetic look. "Do you have a pen and a piece of paper, Tsukasa-san? I seem to have left my school bag in the classroom." The girl nodded and looked down to rummage in her schoolbag for what had been asked for. "It's important to keep your spirits up, as much for your sake as well as your father's," Sachiko told her just before the girl passed her a pen and a small notebook. The en Bouton turned to a blank page and quickly jotted down a name and a phone number followed by a second phone number before handing both items back to the confused girl. "Call the first number and inform them that I gave you the number. They'll take care of your father and see that he has the best possible specialist for the operation as well as care afterwards. The second number will see that you get to the hospital whenever you need a ride."

Tsukasa eyes grew large in surprise and she started to shake her head in denial. "I….we couldn't possible accept or afford this, Sachiko-san," she exclaimed making to hand the notebook back even though it was her own. "Thank you for your concern but it just wouldn't be right."

Sachiko reached out, laying her hand over the other girl's where it held the notebook and pushed it back towards its rightful owner. "You can and will accept this, Tsukasa-san," she informed the other girl. "I once lost a parent and nearly lost my father and I would not want anyone else to have to suffer through that experience, especially if I have the means to prevent it. As for the cost," she stated, seeing her classmate hesitate, torn between what was the proper thing to do and what her heart wanted to do to save her father. "My family's company will cover the costs," she said and quickly held up hand to forestall the other girl's words. "We can use it as a tax write off so everyone wins. I'll not take no for an answer," Sachiko stated firmly, her sapphire eyes holding the other girl's brown eyes insistently till Tsukasa listened to her heart and nodded once in acceptance. "Gokigenyou, Tsukasa-san," Sachiko said just before turning away and heading once more in the direction of the Rose Mansion.

"Gokigenyou!" the shocked and confused girl replied turning to watch the other woman as she walked away. "Thank you Sachiko-sama!" Tsukasa called towards the retreating back dressed in a dark Lillian uniform. "Thank you," the drama club member said once again in a soft whisper as she turned and hurried towards the shoe locker building with tears of happiness upon her cheeks.

Sachiko couldn't explain why but she felt almost euphoric as she walked along. Is this because I did something nice? It almost felt as though she was drunk or as near as she could recall what feeling drunk was like. It had been ages since last she drank alcohol other than an occasional sip or two of champagne at company and family social functions when she attended, an occurrence which wasn't all that frequent. I almost don't feel like myself! It had been so long since she had actually felt anything that this was both exciting as well as frightening.

Sachiko suddenly stopped in her tracks, the Rose Mansion just ahead of her. "I was humming just now!" she realized in disbelief. Shrugging slightly she continued on her way and quickly made it to the front door of her destination. The good feeling she had continued to bubble up from within her and spread throughout her body. It was intoxicating, warming, and delightful and caused her body to tingle all over. "Hellooooooooooooo!" Sachiko called out in English from the entry way at the bottom of the stairway. As the raven-haired beauty made her way up the creaking stairs she decided to toss out additional greetings just be certain everyone was covered. "Bonjour! Buna ziua! Halløj! Hola!" Sachiko called out in a very unladylike manner before adding the similar greetings in Hindi, Turkish and ancient Persian.

-oOo-

"Why me?" Yumi asked herself with a heavy sigh and then quickly glanced about to make certain no one had seen her. It's because I'm her daughter, she speculated with a high degree of certainty in her mental musing. Why does she always have to meddle where she doesn't belong? The first year student stepped upon the walkway that would take her to the Rose Mansion, the soft metallic clanking in her pocket all to vividly reminder her why she was going there. I should just tell them no and be done with it. That will show her, Yumi mused with a grin. A girl with short black hair ran past her and Yumi paused, turning to follow her passage and then stood there regarding the fleeing girl's back. Was she crying? Should I go after her? With a resigned shake of her head she turned and continued on her way realizing that at an all-girls school it was not uncommon to see a girl in tears.

The slender brunette continued to mull over everything in her head as she walked along. Mother really should learn to butt out and just let me live a normal life while I can! It's not like I ever expressed any wish to be a member of the Yamayurikai! The more she thought about it angrier she became at her mother's interference in what she saw as her personal life. Of all the people she would try and pair me up with the Ice Princess! Yumi knew that it would be nearly impossible to find another student more different from herself. If she really wanted me to have an Onee-sama why couldn't it have been to the General? As soon as she thought that she realized that Rei-sama was spoken for already. There is no way I'm getting between Yoshino and her Rei-chan, she thought to herself with a grin. Really? The Ice Princess though? Why her? The smile slipped from the young brunette face as she pondered the girl's they had asked her to become sœurs with.

She's stand offish. Insufferable from all accounts. She's intelligent to the point of making others feel less than so. She excels at everything she does and yet doesn't appear to put forth any effort at all. She doesn't have any friends save those upon the student council with her, reasoned the first year student as she continued along. She refuses to socialize at school except for Yamayurikai events she is forced to attend. I wonder why she doesn't have any friends? Yumi thought back and realized she had never seen anyone other than the council members approach and speak to the en Bouton. Well, there is that story about rejecting a girl who was going to confess with her, Yumi recalled. I find it hard to believe though that anyone could be so cold and heartless as to scream at a girl to the point where she breaks down into tears and run out of the class room, off school grounds and right into traffic. Yumi shook her head recalling the story that had been going around school for some time now. She hadn't believed it at the time it was first told to her and she still didn't believe it even though there was no proof to support her disbelief. There had been several witnesses that had seen the girl run from the room crying though, one Yumi herself had even spoken to. The girl had admitted that Sachiko-sama had not said a word at the time, just simply looked at the confessing girl in such a manner that the poor thing had broken down in tears and fled before the woman's gaze. "How could a normal person do that?" Even if she hadn't said a word Yumi felt that the older girl's actions were still cruel and uncalled for.

"If she has no friends….," Yumi at first thought it would be a nice thing to be the older woman's friend. "What if she's all clingy though?" The young brunette recalled how when she had first arrived at Lillian she herself had been without friends. If it had not been for the presence of Rei and Yoshino she wasn't certain what she would have done. "Perhaps she has trouble making friends and she's all alone? Maybe I should try and be her friend?" Wait…if she hasn't had any friends then she may be overly possessive of her first one. Visions of the other girl following her home or calling her at all hours of the day briefly flashed through her mind. "I barely have time to breathe now, how would I ever fit that into my schedule?" Yumi reasoned with herself. Yumi shook her head causing her pigtails to swing from side to side. "I only have three years left before I will be done with school and have to return to the mansion. I can't afford to waste any of that time on some spoiled rich girl who's deficient in the friend department." Try as she might the slender girl just could see how it could possibly work out between herself and the Ice Princess. With her mind made up Yumi continued on for a several feet before coming to a stop as a sudden thought hit her. But what if she goes through her entire high school life without a friend? The younger girl's heart went out to the raven-haired girl. That would just be awful!

"Being rich and having the best of everything doesn't mean you have the best life as well," Yumi said softly aloud to herself as she turned up the walkway to the Rose Mansion. "Apparently being the Queen's daughter doesn't always mean you know what to do either," she added with a slight grin at her own foolishness. "I'll simply give her the box she dropped and then be on my way. I don't have to give them an answer till later and they should be heading over to the ceremony soon regardless," Yumi reasoned as she opened the front door to the Rose Mansion.

-oOo-

"Really Sachiko! What is with this adolescent behavior?" the Rosa Chinensis inquired of the girl seated in the chair across the table from her. After the stunning entrance and equally stunning kiss the Rosa Chinensis had steered her Petite Sœur to a chair across the table from herself and the other Roses. Sachiko's face held a slightly lopsided grin as she regarded her Grande Sœur with a bemused dreamy expression. "The last time I saw you like this was…," the elder of the two paused as she thought for a long moment before continuing, "…actually I don't ever recall seeing you like this! You're being completely irresponsible," Youko said as she sternly held the younger woman in place with her piercing gaze.

"Is that so?" Sachiko asked, attempting to stifle a giggle and failing miserably.

"Yes," Youko confirmed, ignoring the other girls actions as best she could. Raising a hand she used her fingers to start counting off the transgressions of her little sister. "You've all but stopped attending Yamayurikai meetings," she stated as she raised one finger. "Though I asked you at the beginning of the year to find yourself a Petite Sœur you have yet to even bring one underclassman here to meet us," she said as she raised a second finger. "Your teachers have informed me that you've even start to irregularly attend your classes," Youko paused in the act of raising a third finger as the biscuit colored door opened behind Sachiko and Yoshino and Rei entered, closing the door softly behind them.

"Rei!" Sachiko exclaimed and quickly rising to her feet upon turning and seeing who had entered the room. A large grin suddenly lit up Sachiko's face upon seeing her fellow classmate. "I've missed you!" the raven-haired woman proclaimed as she took a step towards the new arrivals, raising her arms as if to embrace her fellow en Bouton.

"Sit down!" Youko exclaimed lunging to her feet and slamming her hands down upon the table with enough force to cause the tea cups present upon it to rattle irregularly.

Sachiko turned and upon seeing the older woman leaning towards cowered back reflexively before dropping back into her hastily vacated chair. "Onee-sama…," Sachiko stammered out both shocked and scared of the older woman's actions for the moment.

Eriko motioned Rei and Yoshino over so that they did not become directly involved in what was clearly a Chinensis matter. "O…Onee-sama, are they alright?" Rei inquired as she slipped into the seat next to the Rose Foetida. "Should we step in and separate them?"

Eriko paused for a moment and glanced over at the Red Rose sisters before answering her Petite Sœur. "No, they're fine," she told Rei before looking down and resuming reading the book opened upon the table top before her.

"They don't look fine," Yoshino whispered to her cousin with a worried glance towards the two women at the other end of the table.

"They're just playing," Eriko replied before Rei could formulate a response. "I'm sure they can handle it."

"If you say so, Onee-sama," Rei replied as she too shot a worried look towards the Rose Chinensis and her en Bouton.

Sei leaned over towards the Foetida sisters from her seat next to Youko. "They certainly are loud enough though aren't they?" she commented on as Sachiko replied back angrily to her Onee-sama. "I just wish I had some popcorn to go with the show," she added with a smirk before turning back to regard the women who were now the center of attention of the entire room. Sei suddenly felt a tapping upon her forearm and glancing down saw a cardboard container filled with white puffy kernels of corn. "I knew I liked you for some reason," Sei said with a wink towards Eriko who was holding the small container of popcorn.

"It's not like you actually need me here to do anything, Onee-sama," Sachiko replied as the dreamy smile slipped from her face. "This is all just a ruse, isn't it? The entire Yamayurikai is nothing more than a lie!" Sapphire eyes that had just a moment before stared adoringly at the dark-haired Rosa Chinensis now glared as their owners temper began to rise. "It's a convenient cover up for all of us after all."

"Please refrain from saying whatever comes to mind," Youko admonished the younger girl. "You only confirm that you do not know what you're speaking of when you do so. While you may see this as nothing more than a sham, the rest of us are doing all the normal work of the Yamayurikai as well as the other duties we each need to perform! The others members have even to do more as they have to do your share of the work that you've burdened them with by your absence!"

"As if I care!" Sachiko snapped back heatedly. "In less than two years I won't even be here at this school so why should I care about what happens here? In less time than it takes to blink an eye we'll all be gone from here and no one will remember we were even here!"

"Speak for yourself," Sei interjected and received a glare from both Chinensis sisters which only caused the grin upon her western face to widen all the more.

"Once again it is all about you, Sachiko," Youko started back in matter-of-factly as she removed her hands from the table top and stood upright, crossing her arms upon her chest. "If you worked half as hard at doing what you should do as you do at not doing anything you'd be done with the work in no time." Sachiko had to concentrate to follow the older woman's words accurately as there were a great many do's in there. "Yet once again you can't even do that. It's no wonder we had to pick your Petite Sœur for you. If I had left it to you, then it never would have gotten done."

"What? Are you saying that I'm not even capable of choosing my own Petite Sœur?" Sachiko asked in an offended tone of voice. "Onee-sama are you trying to insult me?" Sachiko asked as she rose to her feet abruptly, the legs of her chair screeching upon the wooden floor loudly. "I don't need you to make my choices for me."

"Sachiko…," Youko started to say and then paused and took a deep breath to calm herself as she realized that she was becoming overly angry herself and did not wish to say anything she would later regret. Having known the object of her ire her entire life she knew that this was not the first argument they had gotten into and it certainly wouldn't be the last. Over the countless years they had both learned to openly speak their minds to each other and while they may become angry with one another, they nonetheless always made up afterwards. "No, I do not think that you can pick your own Petite Sœur. I don't believe you care enough to put forth the time and effort to do so simply because as you stated, you have less than two years here and then you're gone. Why should you care enough to find someone that would be a benefit to the Yamayurikai? You yourself are not of benefit to the Yamayurikai."

How…how could she say that? Oba-sama… Sachiko's eye grew large as she heard the older woman's words and she felt a pain in her chest because the words hurt far more than she thought they would due to the truth of them. Even she does not believe in me? "I see," Sachiko managed to push out past the sudden lump in her throat. "So I am only capable of being a burden apparently? Then all I need to do is find a Petite Sœur on my own who will be beneficial to the Yamayurikai? Will that suffice?"

"Sachiko, that's not-," Youko started to say but was cut off my her little sister.

"No! I understand, Onee-sama," Sachiko stated loudly as she rudely cut off what her Onee-sama was about to say. "I'm sorry I have been such a burden to everyone here," she stated as her eyes swept the stunned room quickly. Turning, the raven-haired en Bouton crossed to the biscuit door and opened it before turning back to face those in the room. "I'll find you someone who is better able to assist you than I am," she said as she walked out of the room. The remainder of the Yamayurikai sat shocked and bewildered by the turn of events as they clearly hear Sachiko's steps as she descended the stairs and left the Rose Mansion.


Author's Note:

A slight update and a little more detail into Sachiko's background as well as Yumi's concerns and thoughts. As for what happened to Sachiko and her apparently being "drunk" well that's not exactly correct. It will become clear in time though I assure you. Please bear with me as I'm limited to the Muse and she says I can't spill the beans as the saying goes. Someone did figure it out though. Not saying who though. ;-) Work is still incredibly busy so time writing is very limited. I do have good news, chapter 10 is almost in the bag and off to the editor (hopefully later today). I do hope you'll enjoy this offering.

As always, though certainly not required, I do appreciate any and all reviews.

Kind Regards,

EJ Daniels

All characters within this story, unless otherwise stated are the sole property of Oyuki Konno the original writer of the Maria-sama ga Miteru light novel series.

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