Crowley and I disappeared in to the Rift after doing some prep on our side. We didn't say a word about the spell besides "hand me this" or "add that" or basic partner instructions. I couldn't talk about what would need to be done, not in front of the others.

Before we disappeared though, we were finished in that house. I kissed Castiel hard, wanting to make these last moments count. "I'll see you on the other side." He promised. I nodded, feeling my heart ache.

"Yeah." I lied. "I'll see you too. I love you."

"Kylie," something was weighing on him, something that he wanted to say but didn't know how.

"What?"

"After this…" He took a shaky breath. "Marry me." I stopped, almost dropping the bowl in my hands.

"Cas…" I started to say, but he cut me off.

"I know this is the worst time to ask, I am fully aware and I'm sorry if this makes you feel odd or… unsure." He kept going. "But I love you, and I've regretted from the beginning that I hadn't married you like I promised. So please, Kylie, after this is over," he took the bowl out of my hands and set it on the table, and reached behind my neck. He undid the necklace and removed the ring from it, placing it delicately on my finger before he clasped both my hands tightly. "Will you marry me?"

I felt tears falling down my face, and knew I would never forgive myself for this. I would be surprised if he would.

"Yes." I promised, knowing the words were a lie. "Yes Cas, I'll marry you. Just make it out of this, OK?" He smiled brightly, kissing me again.

"We're both making it out of this." He told me. "We're both going to be fine, we're going to win, and when we get married…" He kept smiling, and it only made me want to cry more. "I know you'll look beautiful. We'll finally have that life we dreamed of so long ago, with a few changes that I believe make it better." He glanced up at the upper floor, and I knew that Kelly had made him promise the same thing; made him promise to take care of Jack when she was gone.

He was imagining us as a family, a married family with an adopted child. I held back every tear I could, nodding.

"Yeah, Cas." I nodded again. "We will. I… I can't wait." That part was true, I couldn't wait to have that life with Castiel.

I just also knew that I wouldn't live to see it.

He wiped tears from my eyes, smiling calmly at me. "It's OK." He assured me. "I know you're scared, but it's OK. We can do this. I have faith in you, and faith in Jack." I cleared my throat, finally putting up a dam that was stable and keeping back tears.

"Thank you. I love you." I hugged him tightly, and kissed him one last time. "I love you, Cas."

I picked up my items, and walked outside to meet the demon. Castiel kissed me one last time before Crowley and I disappeared in to the Rift. We made sure that Bobby's Rufus gun was placed not too far from it, giving Dean the best chance he had at using it. From there, we went to where I'd been testing my own powers and hid behind a spire. We started mixing and getting to work, putting everything together as quickly as we could. We didn't know how much time we had, now, but I doubted it would be much.

When it came time to add the angel grace, Crowley looked over at me. "You ready?" He asked. I nodded, and he made a small incision with my angel blade in to my throat. Not enough to kill me, but enough to extract the grace.

"Exitus." I whispered, focusing on the grace inside of me. Crowley held the bowl to my throat as… I could feel it. I could feel the grace leaving my body. It was a slow process, but I could feel when it was done.

I was thankful that I was sitting. I would've collapsed completely if I hadn't. I looked over at Crowley after he moved the bowl away from me, taking a glance at the spell we were setting up within it. We were doing good.

"How do you feel?" He asked. I looked over myself. There were possible consequences with this, but aside from being extremely tired…

"I feel fine." I said, looking in to his eyes. I let out a sigh of relief. I was fine. Nothing bad had happened.

Then my palm erupted in to flames for a moment. Crowley recalled them quickly, but the damage was done, and there was a burn mark on my palm…

Just like there had been earlier, the one I'd healed on myself. I stared at it in confusion, uncertain of what was happening until there was a snap, and I couldn't help but scream. Crowley dropped my blade between us as we both looked down and saw my leg…

It looked like Dean's had, when I healed it. I looked up at Crowley, scared. "What's happening?" I asked.

"Did you heal recently?" He asked.

"Yeah. Myself when I came from here the first time, and I healed Dean maybe two days ago." I replied, looking from my palm to my leg. "Crowley… Is it…" I thought for the right words. I'd done a fair amount of healing on my friends and myself. "Is… Am I…"

"I don't know." He said, understanding my fear. This was recent, but there was plenty of healing in my past. What if they all rebounded on me, and did it before we could finish the spell?

My question was answered by my nose snapping, and I fought back another screech. I remembered healing Jody's nose, in the Compound.

"Now we do." I said decisively. "Come on, we need to finish." As I spoke, we heard incoming footsteps, followed by a spray of bullets. Sam arrived a second later, taking a glance at the both of us.

"What happened to you?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Not important. Are you ready?" I asked.

"Yeah, but Kylie, what's wrong with you?" He asked, looking me over. That's when he saw what was in the bowl. "Kylie, what did that spell require?"

"Nothing we didn't already have." I stated. "You ready to do this?" He nodded, holding up a small vial. In it was, well… My own magic. I smiled. I'd given it to him in case we needed in, in case the spell took too much, and now I guess it was useful.

"Good, pour it in." I said. It would help fuel the spell and give me just a second to do the last preparations. Sam, however, didn't know that.

"That's the last of it, that's everything, right?" Sam asked, his voice hurried. I took a deep breath, shaking my head. I couldn't tell them until it would be too late. They wouldn't have let me cast this spell if I had told them, and we had to do it. This had to work.

"Not exactly," Crowley said, looking over everything. That last ingredient was the only one left.

"What?" Sam asked.

"You wanna heal that rip," Crowley explained. "We need one more minor ingredient."

"What?" Sam looked bewildered as his gaze shifted from myself to Crowley.

"It needs a life." I stated, looking over at Sam. He paused, seeing the expression in my eyes, and I could tell he knew as well.

"No." Sam said, shaking his head. "No. You can't do this to us. You can't do this to Cas! Kylie, no!"

"It needs a life, Sam." I explained. "It needs the force of it, the power of willing and honest sacrifice from where it originated, from our universe," I took a second to clench my fists, feeling random bullet holes start to appear in my body. It was getting worse, I was starting to get tired, and this universe was sucking the spell towards the Rift. If we didn't do this soon, I would be dead before the sacrifice could be made, and the spell wouldn't work without a life intentionally sacrificed towards it. "Sam, this thing won't work without it. It needs life, and it needs death. Now we don't have much time. Crowley," I didn't bother trying to hand my angel blade to Sam. I knew he wouldn't do it, he couldn't do it. So I gave it to Crowley, pressing the hilt firmly in to his palm as I nodded. I'd lived a good life, apparently in this universe too. I was alright with this. "Make it quick."

"Kylie, you're insane!" Sam stated. "What about Cas?"

"And the spell needs you to finish itself." Crowley reminded me. I ignored Sam's question, focusing on Crowley.

"No it doesn't." I stated. "At least, not alive. All it will need is a source of power to feed off of. It can still do that from me, even if I'm dead." I knew I was right on that one. The spell already had its hooks in me, and it was taking everything it could. "It's already pulling magic from me of its own accord, pulling my power in to the spell and to itself. And I'm not walking out of here." I motioned to my mangled leg. I couldn't walk, not with every injury I'd ever healed rebounding on me like this. I was out for the count, I wasn't making it out of here, and I knew it. The only way I could live was if I could make it to the Rift, but I couldn't do that until the spell was completed. I would have to be carried, and it would slow people down.

In essence, the only reason to keep me alive wasn't a tactical one, it was an emotional one. And that wouldn't save the others.

I nodded at Crowley, moving my shirt collar aside to give him the clearest shot. "All this spell needs is a willing sacrifice. I'm dead meat, dead weight, and the best candidate to be dead at this point. So, make it fast." I requested, closing my eyes. "Tell Castiel I'm sorry, and that… that I love him." I fiddled with the ring for a moment, and considered removing it. But I couldn't. I just… I needed something, something to hold on to. "Tell him I'm sorry for keeping the ring, but I would rather go holding on to it I think." I pursed my lips, clearing my mind. I could do this.

It was one last sacrifice to save the world. I was willing to do that. It would save Cas and Sam and Dean and Crowley and everyone. And this time, there would be a body and witnesses and the rock so Cas didn't get held back thinking about me coming back again. I braced myself, taking a few last breaths as I thought of him. We're in this together, Kylie. I could hear his voice quietly in the back of my mind. We save the Nephilim, and we stop separating from each other. We're in this together from here on out, as long as you'll have me.

I'm sorry, Castiel. I apologized in my mind. I'm sorry I can't go back to you. I love you.

I waited for the sharp stab, and hoped it would be painless. Maybe I'll see Cas in Heaven, if I go to the Heaven in my own world. He'll understand. He'll forgive me for what I've done. I had to hope he would, anyways.

Instead of death, however, I felt a hand on the side of my face and chapped lips on my forehead. I opened my eyes, looking up confused as Crowley withdrew. Sam was staring in confusion as well. Crowley just smiled a little bit. "Get her out of here, Moose." He ordered. "And Kylie," he leaned down impulsively, hugging me tightly. "Don't ever give up." He requested. "Don't ever stop fighting."

"Crowley?" He disappeared, and I looked up to see Lucifer being buffered back from Dean.

"Is it finished?" Sam asked. I nodded, still watching as Crowley stood toe to toe with Lucifer.

"Yeah, except for the… the…" I couldn't bring myself to say the word sacrifice.

"Good." Sam said, picking me up quickly. He started sprinting, hauling ass to get me and him over to Dean without Lucifer's interference.

"Sam, Sam we have to help him!" I argued, looking back at Crowley. I couldn't hear him. He was speaking, Lucifer was smiling, but I couldn't hear him. "Sam, we have to help Crowley!"

When we reached Dean, Sam stumbled, and I fell from his arms to the ground. I bit back a screech of pain from trying to land on my feet. Dean and Sam leaned down to grab me, pulling me backwards towards the rift. It was easier. I couldn't blame them.

I also couldn't tear my eyes off of Crowley. Sam and Dean stopped at the crack, waiting for it to stabilize. "What's happening, why isn't it fixed yet?" Dean asked. Sam said something in reply, but I wasn't paying attention to their conversation. I was still watching Crowley and Lucifer. I couldn't see his face, only the Devil's, but I could read his body language. He was resigned. He was determined.

He was him.

Lucifer smiled, and my angel blade fell neatly in to Crowley's palm. They talked a little longer, but not much. Crowley turned back to look at us, just out of his peripherals. He was smiling his own confident, self-satisfied smile.

"Bye boys," he said. "Bye Kylie." Crowley held the blade out almost perpendicular to his body, and in one swift movement stabbed himself. I couldn't help it then. I screamed his name as he fell. It was almost in slow motion, with so many things happening at once. Crowley careened towards the war-scarred earth (but then again it wasn't Crowley anymore. It was an empty, long dead vessel), Sam and Dean reached down for my arms again, starting to pull me up and back towards the rift as the spell went in to action, sensing the nearby death. And all the energy I could've possibly had, everything from me that had gone in to making this spell, left my body completely to keep the rift open and stable. It would be open for a few minutes, just long enough for us to get through.

Then there was light behind us. I blinked, trying to get my own vision stabilized as I watched, dazed, as Castiel strode towards Lucifer. He had angel blade in his hands. "Cas?" I asked, and heard my own question mirrored in Dean's voice.

"Come on," Sam said, hurried, and I felt arms resume their efforts pulling me backwards.

"No," I argued, struggling against them. I had to help Cas. I had to help him. "No, no, CAS!"

"Come on!" Sam shouted, pulling me more.

"CAS! CAS!"

"We gotta go, we gotta go!"

"CAS!" I watched him keep walking away as Sam and Dean pulled me through the rift, yanking me away from him. "CAS!" I tried to get up, and felt my legs continue to buckle around me.

"Kylie, you can't go through that again, Lucifer will KILL YOU!" Sam shouted, keeping me held back.

"Like hell!" I shouted, crawling on my damn hands towards the damn rift. I had to help him. I wasn't leaving him. I wasn't going to let him leave me. We were in this together. No more leaving each other. No more missing each other. We were a team. We were supposed to be together. "CAS!" I howled his name, screaming it in fear as Dean and Sam continued to hold me back, and Castiel continued to not walk back through the rift.

There was a moment of silence, one that none of us could stop. It was as though nothing around us dared make a sound, and I could feel it. Everything around us was holding still, in that moment, waiting to see the tragedy that would occur.

"No," I breathed the word out, starting to hyperventilate as seconds that felt like millennia ticked by, and Cas didn't walk through. "No."

Then the rift illuminated, and out of its light walked Cas, breathing hard. I smiled, fighting the fruitless battle to stand so I could kiss him and thank every God in existence that he was OK, that he wasn't dead, that he was alive and that we were still in this together, like we promised.

"Cas," I breathed out his name like a prayer, feeling so relieved and thankful. He was alive. He was OK. He was here.

Then it all hit at once, all the energy and power and rage that had been waiting quietly for the outcome of this moment; It all hit in a flash of white light that I couldn't look away from as Castiel arched his back, and his eyes turned white.

"NO!" I screamed, and I could hear it reverberated in the space around us. I slammed my fist on the ground and the earth shook, small cracks racing out from where I'd struck. Castiel's body fell limp to the ground, his eyes burned out of their sockets. I crawled over, slowly, uncaring as to what else I was crawling towards besides him. I kept crawling until I reached his body, crying and begging for him to come back, please, please just come back. I reached across to close his eyes, and cradled his head to my chest. "Please, Cas," I begged. "Please. Please don't. Cas, please. Come back. Come back to me please, Castiel." I kept whispering quiet pleas as I heard a familiar, uncaring chuckle above me. I looked up to see Lucifer, smiling down on me without a care in the world.

"Well," he commented. "That was fun."