"I was a smart kid, but I hated school."- Marshall Bruce Mathers III

Chapter Synopsis: We follow Lola around middle school


"We still continued to hang out, but nothing of importance occurred until we went to middle school."

Scene transition to Royal Woods Middle School. The quartet was split up into different classes. The year is now 2024. Lana, Leif, Lexx and Lola are 14 years old.

"I, of course, got shafted with my scheduling, and got my hardest classes first, not to mention, back-to-back…"


Mod 1: Advanced Algebra (Really, whatever math lesson the teacher came up with)

"Ok class, today we are going to continue our trigonometry lessons by explaining what the unit circle is."

"Ha, easy!" A student scoffed "Sine, cosine, tangent. Opposite over hypotenuse, adjacent over hypotenuse and opposite over adjacent, am I right, teach?"

"No, the unit circle describes the 3 relationships, but in something known as a radian. The 4 most common ones are π/2, π, 3π/2 and 2π. Lola, what is 720° in terms of radians?"

I think about it…

"4π? Does that mean we each get 4 slices of pie? I was going to say whole pies, but that'd be overkill. Is it March 14? Is that why we're talking about pie? When can we get some? Is it already time for lunch?"

"No, there's no pie."

The rest of the class lets out a dejected groan.

"But, you are right, since 2π is 360°, then 720° would be double that. Great job!"


Mod 2: P.E

"All right, we got a special treat for you today! We're going to whip you into shape with this!"

The gym teacher places a cassette into a radio and hits the play button.

"The FITNESSGRAM/PACER test is a multi-stage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20-meter PACER test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal [blip sound]. A single lap should be completed every time you hear this sound [bell dinging sound]. Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word "start". On your mark…get ready… START!"

"This is it. Lincoln told me this test was the bane of his existence. He told me his personal record was 11 laps. But then again…Linky isn't the most athletic person in the world. He even got last place when he tried running a marathon…at least he finished it. I sure am glad I got these sweet pink sneakers. Could you imagine doing this test in high-heels? That's torture!"

We then see an awesome montage of the middle schoolers running. It was definitely way cooler than taking the test when you were a kid.

"1"

"4"

"12"

"16"

"25"

"34"

"41"

My face is flushed crimson and I'm breathing very heavily…I think I've hit my threshold. But no! I have to continue!

"46"

"49"

"52"

"Dang it, I [pant] [pant] missed that [pant] lap. I can't [wheeze] afford another mistake!"

"54"

"Can't go…on…anymore…"

I passed out from the fatigue. 54 laps…The teacher said I managed to be in the healthy range. I honestly thought I wouldn't make it. Of course, there's always someone better. A boy in our class managed to make it to 79 before the program got too fast for him. Still, everyone congratulated me for continuing, even him…for some reason. I don't know why they'd do that, but I appreciated it.

"By the way, don't do what I did on my first day and show up to P.E wearing a dress, it's really not suited for it. Luckily, that only happened on the first day of school, and I switched to attire more suited for exercise."


Mod 3: Psychology

"Now you should have read up to chapter 13 in the DSM-5. Today we are going to be discussing the 10 personality disorders."

I diligently pay attention to this class. After all, how else am I going to learn who to manipulate people? Besides, this seemed like a fun elective to take.

"Now we reach the dramatic, or cluster B disorders."

"Dramatic? Seems like something I should know about."

"Number 4: Antisocial Personality Disorder/ASPD

ASPD is characterized by a general disregard for authority. These people are most commonly referred to as sociopaths. They step on whoever they want and don't care who they hurt."

I write down the notes.

"Number 5: Borderline Personality Disorder/BPD

BPD is characterized by extreme instability. Anything can set a person with BPD off, and they react badly in almost all cases. It is most often confused with bipolar disorder, but the 2 are different in that borderline personality disorder is more consistent, while bipolar disorder is characterized with extreme highs and lows for a brief period of time."

"Wow? Is it really that simple?"

"Number 6: Histrionic Personality Disorder/HPD

People with HPD will do anything to get attention. Usually by telling the general populace some wildly crazy story that definitely didn't happen. People afflicted tend to show a lot of energy and seem hedonistic."

I write down the notes.

"Number 7: Narcissistic Personality Disorder/NPD

NPD is for people who think the world revolves around them. They put on a grandiose personality to woo and charm others, and think that their entitled, but really, they're sad and broken inside. It's all very poignant, really. Of course, narcissists don't even acknowledge this because of the façade they put up."

"Huh, sounds like someone I know."

I write down the notes.


Mod 4: English

"I'm not going to lie, I usually tune out this class. It's usually just melodramatically reciting Shakespeare."

A time card that says: "One very boring English "lesson" later" flashes onscreen.


Mod 5: Lunch

"Finally, lunchtime! One thing I can get behind."


Mod 6: Science

"Ok class, now today, we're going to learn how the stars shine in the night sky."

"I loved this class, not only because we got to watch old episodes of Bill Nye The Science Guy, but my science teacher was one of the coolest teachers I had. He made the class so engaging."


Mod 7: Free time

I go over to the designated study area when I overhear some boys talking about their classes.

"Man, time really flies huh?"

"Dude, you're telling me, how's your history project?"

"Got a D+ for explaining how Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare relates to WW2."

"Dude, how did you get COD?"

"Older bro let me play it."

"Nice, but you really should've done something that relates to WW2 instead of binge-playing old Call of Duty games, you're close to flunking."

"Whatever, I can bring my grade up with the new test coming up."

"So, dude remember when I took that auto-mechanics class as an elective?"

"Yeah, so what?"

"I saw possibly the hottest girl in school there."

"(Auto-mechanics…Lana took that as one of her electives. I'm sure they're talking about someone else.)"

"Yeah, tell us what she looked like, Casanova?"

"Man, she was wearing a green shirt and overalls, with a red cap. One of the most gorgeous things I ever laid my eyes on."

"I heard a rumor that she broke 100 on the gym's PACER test today."

"You aren't talking about Lana Loud, are you?"

"Man, I don't know her name?"

"How do you not know who the Louds are? They're well known in this town! If that's the case, her twin, Lola, should be around here."

"I went to leave, but Lana headed in and acknowledged me."

"Hey, Lols? Are you doing ok with your classes?"

"Yeah, Lans. Those boys are talking about you."

"Oh, them? They just fawn over me for some reason. I find it kind of creepy. But I already reported them."

The dean enters the room and singles out the 3 boys.

"You 3. You aren't gossiping about Lana Loud again, are you? She wants you to leave her alone and to stop creeping her out. You're making her feel uncomfortable."

"No sir! We weren't talking about her."

The 3 boys run off, while the dean chases them.

The bell rings…time for the last class of the day…


Mod 8: Art

"Alright, continue your projects."

I do so. Continuing to paint what I think is an elegant picture…it's almost finished…

30 minutes later…

"Ok, we'll finish our projects tomorrow."

Me and Lana head home. I'm sure Leif and Lexx had an eventful school day, too. But I still have an extracurricular activity to take care of.


Preview

I got ready for what would be my final pageant. Upon reaching backstage, I hear the banshee-like screams of one of my many rivals. But this girl, wearing a green dress, is my worst enemy. Her blood-red eyes and brown hair would intimidate lesser girls, but luckily, I've dealt with her multiple times within my career.


Author's Note: When that guy was talking about Call of Duty and how it relates to WW2, it was supposed to be a joke about both his laziness, as well as the stagnation of the Call of Duty franchise. Well, Activision actually DID make Call of Duty: WWII. I totally called it, but that was supposed to be a joke! I didn't think Activision would actually make it! I just lost a little more faith in humanity after seeing that this was real.