Chapter 19 – You Are Mine, I Am Yours
"I long to believe in immortality. . . . If I am destined to be happy with you here-how short is the longest life. I wish to believe in immortality-I wish to live with you forever." John Keats
…
Tooru approached the tent flap in a state he wasn't used to being in, that being one of uncertainty. While the Queen had called for him some time ago, he had none the less finished completing his rounds, ensuring that the troops who were under his command were all bedded down and taken care of for the night. It had taken longer than he thought to provide everyone with food and shelter. It was with weary steps that he finally approached the Queen's tent. "Is she alone?" he asked softly of the guards stationed outside the entrance.
The guards, two of his finest, snapped to attention upon seeing him approach. The fact that the Queen's personal guard were all Kyuuketsuki handpicked by himself, had not gone over well with the Queen's council even with the General's approval. It had finally take a command from the Queen herself to stop the others from objecting. "Yes Sir. The Queen has been awaiting your appearance…somewhat anxiously," the guard replied, fighting hard to hide the grin that kept tugging at the corners of his mouth. Seeing their General arch a brow in question the man continued. "The Queen has found cause to step outside here for some 'fresh air' several times while awaiting your appearance."
"I see," Tooru stated with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Best then to not keep her waiting any longer," he said squaring his shoulder bravely as he parted the tent flaps and stepped within.
"It is about time!" Miki hollered, pausing in her pacing upon seeing who had stepped into her tent. "Care to remind me just who I am, Ogasawara-san?" The flickering torch light caught the buckles and metallic parts of her armor which were still covered in gore from the day's earlier battle.
"My Queen," he replied calmly, certain that both the guards out front were trying hard not to laugh as they listened to his dressing down at the hands of their leader and Monarch. "Always that, my Queen."
"Then perhaps you can explain to me why my General, whom I sent for well over three candle marks ago, has only now decided to grace me with his presence?" the angry brunette snapped loud enough to be heard several tents over. Several soldiers stopped long enough to realize what was happening before they continued on with knowing grins.
"I have no excuse," Tooru replied, his grey eyes dropping to the ground. He was more than a little concerned by her apparent anger towards him. While certainly late in responding to her summons, he knew that she, more so than most, knew that taking care of those under your command came first. It was an obligation every leader had and yet sadly few took seriously.
"Whatever shall I do with you?" Miki asked, her voice sounding more irked than angry for the moment. "If I allow you to disregard my orders then soon no one will listen to me," she told him. "I have been standing here waiting for your return for some time now. I'm tired and I want this armor off me. You will follow me into the other area and assist with its removal," the Queen informed him in a tone which left no room for argument. "While you are doing that we can further discuss your utter disregard for my instructions."
Tooru nearly smiled, catching on finally. "As my Queen commands," he said in a crestfallen tone of voice that was meant to carry to the guards stationed outside the tent flaps. As ordered, he dutifully followed the Queen back into the private part of the tent. He was certain that by this time tomorrow it would be known throughout the camp that the Queen had been displeased with him and required extra time to properly address his transgressions.
Miki moved to the center of the curtained off area and stood waiting expectantly till she felt his hands working to remove the armor from her person. "How are the troops doing?" she asked in a quieter tone as he lifted her right arm, resting it on his shoulder, before concentrating on the buckles thusly exposed. While she had wanted him to return earlier than he had, it was not just the pleasure of his company she had wanted. She knew he was out seeing to her troops and it was their condition she was most anxious about. His company there with her was just an added bonus…a delightfully arousing bonus to be sure, but not as important as the condition of those under her command.
"Fed, watered and bedded," he replied with a slight grunt as he forced a strap free to the remove the shoulder guard before lowering her arm and moving to the other side and repeating the process of raising her arm and resting it on his shoulder.
"Are you speaking of the soldiers or the animals?" the Queen asked with a very un-Monarch-like snort of humor.
"Both actually," Tooru said as he offered up a grin to his Queen who only smirked in response. "Their spirits are rather high considering most were certain this morning that they would not see the sun set this day." Tooru's experienced fingers soon had the straps free and removed the shoulder guard before lowering the Queens arm back down.
"We salvaged enough grain and feed for the horses as well," he continued to work on the assortment of buckles and straps as he made his report. After several long minutes he removed her back armor and then the front breast plate before assisting her with the removal of the chain mail that was under it all. "What are your plans moving forward?" he enquired as he watched her pulled the padded shirt over her head and cast it aside. He forced his eyes to remain on hers which wasn't an easy feat given the dampness of her shirt and how it clung to the curves of her body.
"Winter is fast approaching," she replied after a moment of thought. "The army is tired, as am I," she added with a weary sigh. "We shall retire to home for the cold months and then return in the spring to finish this nonsense." Seeing him glance towards the ground and avoid her gaze she asked, "You do not approve?"
"It is not my place to question your orders, my Queen," Tooru replied.
Miki nodded once in agreement. "Still, I would hear your thoughts on the matter. You are my General, are you not?"
The former king turned vassal took a moment to gather his thoughts before he replied. "If we withdraw now we will give them time to regroup as well as dig in," he explained. "It is highly doubtful that they will sit idle through the cold months, my Queen. The delay will afford them a chance to gather their numbers once again. When we return in the spring they will no doubt be ready for us. It would be better to drive forward and try to put an end to this now while they are in disarray after this last defeat," he advised.
"A bold plan," the Queen replied thoughtfully, weighing his words carefully. "No," she finally said slowly. "Our remaining forces are worn thin with more than a third of them injured and unable to fight. This is the first time they've had a full meal in some time and the supplies that were recovered won't last us forever," she said in a thoughtful tone, more speaking to herself aloud than actually answering him directly. "Though we may be long lived, we still require rest and sustenance," she said as she started to pace. "They may well be better prepared for us in the spring but then so shall we be better rested and equipped for them as well."
Tooru bowed slightly, acknowledging her reasoning and accepting it. "I will then see that the preparations are begun so that we may depart as soon as you are ready, my Queen," he said as he turned to leave and to carry out her decision.
"Hold!" the Queen barked in a commanding tone, causing her General to turn and regard her with a questioning look. "I think," she opened with as she crossed the distance between them and started to undo the buckles to his armor, "that it can wait till the morning."
Tooru cleared his throat nervously as his Queen undid the buckles to his armor in the same fashion as he had done hers. "Would it not be better to let the troops know that in the morning we will be heading home?"
"Would it not be better to attend to your Queen tonight?" Miki countered with as she removed the breast plate, dropping it to the side and quickly forgetting it as she began working the bottom edge of his chainmail up his torso. "I think you've kept me waiting long enough," she added in a deeper and huskier tone of voice.
"Do you think this wise?" Tooru asked, hiding his worried expression as he leaned forward to allow her to pull the heavy chainmail over his head. "We shouldn't do this," he stated flatly.
"Why shouldn't we?" Miki barked in question as she divested him of his padded shirt and started working his undershirt upwards as well. "We are bonded are we not?" she asked only to see the surprised look upon his face as she pulled the undershirt free and cast it aside. "Did you truly think I did not know? That I couldn't feel it?"
"I…I had hoped," Tooru replied, adverting his eyes from hers, unable to meet her gaze.
"Is a queen not good enough for you, Ogasawara-san?" Miki snapped, hurt by his words and apparent rejection of her. "Am I not good enough for you?" she enquired in a much softer and hesitant tone as her hands stopped with his shirt lifted up to his chest.
"No!" Tooru replied loudly without a moment's hesitation. "It is not you, my Queen," he quickly added to clarify his response. "It is me," he said in a subdued voice, turning away from her. "I am the one not worthy of you."
"What could ever make you think that?" Miki asked as she reached out and gently laid a hand upon his bare back. The Queen's eyes couldn't miss the patchwork of scares that covered the man's body. One does not fight for a lifetime without carrying the scars of such a life with them, she absently mused silently to herself.
"By all right's I should be dead," he replied, shivering slightly at her touch. "When… Sayako perished," he said, his own voice thick with emotions, "by all accounts I to should have died," he shared with her, pausing to swallow heavily. "There must be something wrong with me, something broken inside of me. I can think of no other reason for not having joined her in death."
Miki felt the tremors run through his body and quickly closed the distance between them, slipping her arms around him even as she rested her cheek against his broad back. "Did you ever think that perhaps this is the reason?" she asked into the silence. "That we were meant to come together and do just this."
Tooru snorted humorously upon hearing her words. "Never have two of our kind ever come together. Ever has it been our way to wage war upon each other," he reminded her of their bloody past.
"You yourself asked why we must always fight one another," she murmured. "It was your desire to find another way which led us to where we are right now. Perhaps it is us that must lead by example and show the others that we need not always draw sword against the other and that we can live in peace." Releasing her arms she gently turned him to face her. "Perhaps the reason you yet live is so that we can do something that has never been done before and finally bring peace to both our people."
"Would you truly have me?" he asked, pausing to lick his lips, suddenly finding them dry. "Broken though I may be, my Queen? Is it wise to do so?" he asked, gazing into her soft brown eyes as a man dying of thirst will stare at a glass of water.
Miki offered a small crocked smile, "Would you doubt the wisdom of your Queen?"
"What of children?" Tooru asked.
"You needn't fear that," Miki replied with a soft smile. "We Ookami do not get with child unless we wish it so," she told him mistaking his concern.
"We don't even know if our kind can bear children amongst each other," Tooru said in a slightly pleading tone as he tried to reason with her.
"True though that may be," Miki said softly, "we shall cross that matter when it is time. For now I know only that I am bound to you and you to me. Regardless of the reasons why and in spite of how things should be, the fact that the bond exists is real. I can feel it and I know you can as well, Tooru-kun! I want you and no other by my side!"
"Then it is my Queen's command?" Tooru asked in reply, one brow arched slightly in question.
Miki slowly shook her head. "No, it is a request from Miki, a woman who knows naught of love and would learn of it with you," she told him softly before the corners of her mouth turned upwards in a grin. "With considerable urging from your Queen."
The leader of the Kyuuketsuki slipped his arms around Miki's waist and pulled their bodies closer together allowing her to slip her arms around his neck. "How could I ever refuse a request such as that?" he asked huskily as he leaned down to meet her lips which were rising hungrily seeking his.
For several long minutes their lips were locked in a passionate kiss. When they both broke away to catch their breath the Queen hugged him tightly. "You are mine," she softly whispered against his bare chest.
Tooru buried his face into her soft brown mane and inhaled deeply, his lips gently kissing the crown of her head before he replied softly, "I am yours." The former monarch couldn't help but wonder where all this would lead.
-oOo-
Ueno smiled in a placating manner towards his Queen. "The Nobility is more than willing to fund your war, my Queen," the minor general said to the leader of the Houribe clan. "It is only right that we do as such and in so doing assist with seeing you to your righteous victory."
Miki regarded the pompous general for a long moment, causing the man to squirm under her gaze. "What do you think, Tooru-kun?" the Queen asked, tilting her head slightly to one side. "Should we require the nobility to give us more to finance the war effort?"
Tooru cringed inside at the Queen's choice of names for him. It had started two weeks after they had arrived home but at the time she had only used it in privacy when it was just the two of them. The last two weeks he noted that she had begun to call him Tooru-kun in public, causing more than one set of bows to arch in curiosity at the perceived familiarity. There were those who scowled as well, feeling their Queen should not be so informal with a Kyuuketsuki, even one assisting them with winning the war.
"While funding is always appreciated, my Queen, it takes more than gold to win a war," he replied, his eyes never leaving Ueno's. The thin General scowled at his words, suspecting what was coming next. "If we tax the nobility they will simple raise the taxes against those beholden to them, placing the blame upon the crown," Tooru said, bringing a round of grumbling from those seated in the room due to his truthful words. "What we will be short of come the spring is man power. If each lord were to lend us half of their own private forces we would be in a much better position."
"That's preposterous!" snapped General Ueno loudly as nearly half of those gathered grumbled loudly at the head of the Ogasawara clan words. "You would see us strip our lands bare and send them off leaving us nearly defenseless should the enemy attack us in your absence!"
"You would rather send your Queen out into harm's way inadequately prepared and unprotected instead," Tooru snapped back angrily. The seasoned veteran was fast realizing that short of Rei, Yoshino and a handful of others the military leaders of the Houribe clan were a bunch of pampered fools, relying on their past glories to keep them in command. Most of them don't even realize that should they win, the fighting would be over. They assume that this is just another campaign which will eventually run its course.
"Isn't protecting the Queen yours and Hasekura-san's responsibility?" Ueno replied with a sneer as if such a task was beneath him and better left to those of lowly status.
Tooru lunged to his feet, slamming his fist down upon the table top in the process. "It is all our jobs to protect the Queen you fool!" he spat out angrily only to feel a hand upon his shoulder urging him back into his seat. The Kyuuketsuki turned to snarl at whomever had laid a hand upon him only to see that it was the Queen. Reluctantly he dropped back into his chair, the Queen poised behind him with one hand still resting upon his shoulder.
Miki gently squeezed the shoulder her hand rested upon, in an effort to restrain the man. She couldn't help but feel touched by how quickly Tooru had come to her defense. "Come now," she said once the dark haired Kyuuketsuki was seated and seemed willing to not spring across the intervening table to throttle the frightened general. "We are all friends here. A fact I should not have to remind you of," she added with a pointed look towards Ueno.
"Surely you do not expect us to strip our garrisons clean and send them off to the front, my Queen?" Ueno whined. "To do so would be too great a risk. What of the women and children left behind. There will be naught left to defend them should the enemy bypass the army and attack directly here."
Miki looked thoughtful for a moment as she took her hand from Tooru's shoulder and seated herself upon the arm of his chair, her own arm draped across the back of the chair and his shoulders in the process. "You do have a valid point General Ueno," she finally said once situated and leaning against Tooru. "As they are, in fact, your men, I will not tell you just how many you can bring with you. It will strictly be your choice on how many you send."
Ueno smiled believing he had won till he thought over her words once more. "Umm my, Queen?" he enquired only to receive a nod that he should continue. "I think I might have heard you incorrectly. Did you say bring with me?"
Miki nodded once. "You heard correctly. I want every lord and lady, as well as my entire staff, in the field for this engagement. It very well could be the last battle to decide the war and I feel it is important that we show a united front."
"Bu…but it will be a battlefield, my Queen," Ueno stammered in shock as many other sat with opened mouths, unable to speak at all. It had been many years, far more than he could count, since last he stepped upon the field of battle. Rather than fighting he was content to sit upon the sidelines and issues orders. Fighting and dying was better left to those of lower class than a Noble such as himself.
"Yes. Yes it will be, my good General," the Queen assured him. "Some of you may even die," she said as her eyes swept the faces of her staff and the gathered Lords and Ladies that could make the meeting. "I know it is a great sacrifice to ask of you, however it is nothing less than I myself will be risking as well. I would not dream to ask you to do that which I refused. I will be in your care and counting on you all."
Tooru hid his grin behind a hastily raised hand. By informing those present that she expected them to do no more than she herself was willing to do he realized that she had cornered them into doing her biding. Anyone backing out now would appear to be a coward with no concern for the Queen's safety.
"War is hell people, which is why I am trying to end it so that we do not have to continue to waste our lives as well as the lives of our children in this senseless never ending struggle! Come this spring we have a chance to end this once and for all. I expect all of you to be ready!" Miki's eyes swept those assembled once again, leaving no doubt that they had best be ready. "That will be all for today. You're each to return home and set your houses in order and begin preparations." Rising from her perch, her hand trailed along the back of Tooru's shoulder before falling to her side, she stood to shocked silence. Without another word the Queen strode from the war room.
Tooru couldn't help but chuckle softly to himself. In deciding to take every Lord with her she had insured that at all of their available soldiers would be a part of the army. No lord wanted to risk leaving men behind as it could mean the difference between survival and death. Battlefields were chaotic at best and it didn't take much to find yourself on the wrong end of a sword.
"It would seem you once again have gotten your way Ogasawara-san," General Ueno sneered from close at hand, having crossed over to the seated former monarch.
"I merely do my Queen's biding, Ueno," Tooru replied calmly though he couldn't stop the grin the spread across his face as he purposefully left off any honorific from the man's name.
"I have been around for a long time," Ueno leaned forward and spoke softly so that only the two of them could hear his words. "You will not always be the Queen's favorite pet. When the time comes I will be there to see that you are properly dealt with like the foul creature that you are."
"Be that as it may," Tooru replied, rising menacingly to his feet and causing the smaller man to take a step back as well as raise an arm as if warding off a blow. "Until such time you will do as our Queen has instructed." Not waiting for a response he turned and exited through another door in the opposite direction the Queen had gone. He had not gone very far before he heard his name called and turned.
"Ogasawara-sama," Rei called as she hurried after the former king, her long strides quickly closing the distance between them.
"General," Tooru replied with a nod once the mail clad woman had caught up to him. "What may I do for you?"
"A few moments of your time, if you please?" the lithe woman asked as she gestured for them to continue down the hallway. The two of them soon found themselves outside upon a small wooden bridge overlooking a small stone garden. "She favors you," Rei finally said into the comfortable silence that had existed between them for several long minutes.
Tooru withheld the dismissive snort of humor he normally would have answered with simply because he respected the woman next to him far too much to shrug off her observations in such a manner. "It is sound advice she favor's, General," he said instead. "Something that is in short supply these days it appears."
Rei chuckled in agreement to his words. "It is not all their fault. They have been in their positions for some time and they only know of one way to do things," she told him. "The Queen and you are trying to change the way the world has run for time uncountable. There are bound to be those that do not take kindly to you coming along and upsetting their world. Change, even that which is good, is seldom readily welcomed."
"Do they not see how better it will be without the endless killing?" he asked rhetorically, not waiting for her reply. "A world where their children can grow up and not have the hilt of a dagger thrust into their hand before they have even cut their regular teeth. There is so much more to life than simply killing or being killed," he stated beseechingly.
Rei grinned. "You sound just like her," she told him.
"We think alike and want the same thing so it should come as no surprise I should think," he replied, his own lips curving up into a small smile. "She is the smart one, I merely carry out her desires."
"A fact that has not gone unnoticed by some, Ogasawara-sama," Rei said cryptically causing the man with her to frown in thought.
"What have you heard, General?" Tooru asked cautiously.
"Nothing but rumblings as yet," she replied thoughtfully. "The Queen has come to rely heavily on your advice and seems to spend far more time in your company than any other. That alone is enough to cause some of those close to her concern. Favoritism is not generally looked kindly upon by the rest of the court, a fact I am certain you are well aware of."
"I am a general in her service," Tooru countered with. "I have far more knowledge and experience with my own kind than anyone else. There is much she wishes to learn, which only I can teach her." He couldn't tell the General that since returning home they had spent every night within each other's arms. The bond between them was as solid as the one he recalled having with Sayako but that was a fact they were not willing to share as yet.
Rei nodded slowly, accepting his words. "While I may know that, there are others that will not see it as such. I merely caution you to watch your back, Ogasawara-sama."
"I appreciate your concern, General and shall take your words to heart," Tooru replied with heart felt gratitude.
The two of them each turn back and gazed upon the rock garden, each lost in their own thoughts for a while as they enjoyed the solitude of silence and the presence of the kindred soul they had found in one another. "She is happier than I ever recall seeing her," Rei finally offered as a soft caring smile played across her lips.
"Then I am glad as it is not often that a King or a Queen can be truly happy," Tooru responded with after a long moment of contemplation.
"I would like to resume our sparing practices if you would indulge me, Ogasawara-sama?" Rei enquired shyly, unused to asking for things for herself.
"Sunrise, here?" Tooru asked with a slightly raised brow to which Rei nodded once sharply before bowing and excusing herself. For a long while he simply stood there and contemplated life in general. There are many that would see our bond as going against everything they have ever known, he mused realizing that would go for both Kyuuketsuki and Ookami alike. There will always be dissension within the ranks on both sides. When they finally decided to disclose the fact concerning their pairing he could well imagine the chaos it would cause. Try as he might he could see no way to shield the Queen from the unavoidable negative reactions their bond would most certainly bring.
With a tired shake of his head he finally turned away from the serenity of the garden and made his way back to his quarters, closing and locking the door behind him. "What took you so long?" asked a cloaked figure stepping from the shadows only to wrap her arms around him even as he drew her close.
"The General wished to talk," he murmured into her hair as he leaned down and gently nuzzled the crown of her head, enjoying her scent. "We will be resuming our sparing matches in the morning," he told her.
"Should I place my wagers now?" she asked with a soft chuckle.
"Just who would you bet on," he asked, drawing back slightly and eyeing her for a moment.
"Rei-chan of course," was her quick reply. "She IS my General after all," Miki added.
"Then what am I," Tooru asked in mock hurt.
"You," the Queen said as she pushed herself from his embrace, "are late!" Turning she walked towards his bed. "I thought I was going to have to start without you," she said over her shoulder as she let the cloak she wore fall to the floor revealing that she wore nothing beneath it.
Any thoughts or concerns Tooru may have had fled when faced with her nude form before him. For a long moment his eyes roamed the expanse of her body before he slowly moved to join her on the bed, leaving a trial of his own clothing behind him.
Author's Note:
It seems like forever since last I wrote anything for this story. A lot has happened in my personal life since the last update back in March, including a move across the country as well as the passing of my father. I wish that I could promise regular updates once again, however I fear that is not the case. The Muse seems to be as scatter-brained as I ma these days (imagine that!). The best that I can say is that we have not forgotten this story and still have every intention of finishing it. Perhaps the question now would be will there be anyone actually still reading it when I finish it? :-) Regardless, it will indeed get finished. I have the ending all in my head so it is just a matter of time before the Muse allows me to write it.
I do hope you will be patient and continue to read along regardless of the pauses between updates. As always, I do appreciate any and all comments and reviews. I've lost track of the number of times I reread all the reviews. I can honestly say that they are what keeps me pushing the Muse to complete this tale.
Kind Regards,
EJ Daniels
All characters within this story, unless otherwise stated are the sole property of Oyuki Konno the original writer of the Maria-sama ga Miteru light novel series.
