"Courage is knowing what not to fear." -Plato
Chapter Synopsis: What was supposed to be a normal hangout between best friends developed into something much worse...
"We did start dating, but that came with some difficulties…"
"Ok, I got my DNA test results back!"
"Mine, too!"
"It says that even though I'm 90% similar to you, we don't share DNA!"
"Same here."
"That's good, because I didn't want to start dating someone who could be my cousin or a long-lost relative. Glad that's over with."
"Yeah, but that's $99 dollars I'm never getting back…"
"But the real difficulty came one day after school, Lexx convinced me that I should hang out at his house, and Lana convinced Leif to hang out at mine. We thought it would just be a normal hangout…"
…
…
…
"We were wrong."
Scene transitions to inside 1216 Franklin Ave. We see that Lana is escorting Leif to the dining room. We see that it's pitch black inside.
"Lana, do you want to tell me what's going on?"
"In due time. But for now, just have a seat over here."
He does so, while Lana takes her seat adjacent to him. The lights turn on and we see that Lynn Sr is sitting directly across from him, with Lincoln sitting across from Lana, and the other Loud sisters form a barrier around him. Oddly, Rita isn't there…
"Is there something you wanted to say to me?" Leif meekly asked
"No…I just want to make you…an offer you can't refuse." Lynn Sr responded
He slides down a plate of his signature "Lynn-sagna" over to him.
"Uh…thanks?"
Leif eats the lasagna.
"Now, as for why I've had Lana bring you here. It has come to my attention that my daughter, Lola, wants to date you."
Leif swallows nervously.
"Yes, you know what this is about. Just answer our questions honestly and we won't hurt you. Now who wants to ask Leif a question?"
Meanwhile, at 2128 Franklin Ave…
"Lexx, why'd you ask me to hang out?"
"Oh, there's just a few things I want cleared up, have a seat at the table, we already have a reserved spot just for you."
"Really, thanks!"
"Don't mention it."
Just like at 1216, the dining room is pitch black. I sit down in the special chair, while Lexx sits parallel to me.
"Don't worry, I'll advocate for you." He assured me
"What?" I ask confusedly
Before I could say anything more, the lights turn on, revealing an audience of angry brothers. Directly across from us were Rita and Linka. Oddly, Lynn Sr is absent…
"We know what you did. I love watching the show "24", and let's just say, I've acquired a very particular set of skills during my binge watching of that show. Skills I won't hesitate to use on you, so you'd better think over your responses very carefully." A man in a cyan tanktop snarls at me. I remember who he is. Leif mentioned his name when we hung out for the first time. I think his name was "Loki".
"Loki. Enough! We'll take it from here." Rita assured him
"Ha, you have to be interrogated by our sister. Good luck…" He cackled
Scene transition back to 1216 Franklin Ave.
"So why did Lola want to date you?" Lori asked
"She thought she was attracted to me, and so, she wanted to find out for herself."
"And what gave her that idea?"
"She kissed me."
A wave of shocked gasps filled the room!
"What did you say?!" Lori suddenly becomes hostile in her questions
"Was it on the lips?"
"No, cheek."
"Did you ever kiss her?"
"No, she kissed me."
"Why?"
"She said it was a thank you gift for helping her with her plan."
"What plan?"
"To get Winston to date her."
"I can already tell you that the plan didn't work."
Everyone looks for who said that, all of their gazes meet Lana.
"Lola told me, her plan didn't work, but that she's still friends with Winston."
"Well, I don't have any questions, I think he's a nice boy." Leni chimed in, everyone facepalmed at her
"Leni, the reason we're doing this is to deem him worthy of Lola. It's a judge of character!"
"I got one, why did you help Lola with her plan in the first place?" Luna questioned
"I actually tried to convince her not to do it, but she convinced me it was a good idea."
"Would you blindly follow whatever Lola asks you to do?"
"No, I can make my own decisions."
"I bet that you felt sparks fly, but how do you know that they haven't fizzled out?" Luan enquired
"Well, that's why Lola thought we should date, to see if this wasn't a passing spark."
"Well this is shocking! So, Lola wants to date you?"
"Yes."
"I got a simple question, how strong are you?" Lynn smugly inquired
"I can lift 10 weight dumbbells with ease!"
"Pathetic, how are you going to protect our sister like that, scrawny little weakling?"
"Uhh…"
"I don't know what Lola is thinking if she's trying to date some pathetic loser like you. That would be like if I started dating Lincoln! Which is absolutely disgusting, and not just because it's incest!"
"Lincoln, please, ask Leif your questions, now. Just so we don't have to listen to Lynn Jr anymore. She's already insulted 4 people…" Lynn Sr pleaded
"Well, here's one you can answer. How smart are you?"
"Slightly above average."
"Ok, prove it."
"Well, I have been taking Latin. How about this?"
"Ego credo id Lana estne quod celebres cultissima unum de tuus familia."
"One: That's not true. And two, your Latin needs work, see me after class." Lisa interjected
"Wow, you know Latin? Maybe you could teach me." Lori scoffed at him
"This is more of a personal question, because I already know you're a perfect match for Lola, but can you say something in Latin that would interest me?"
"Wait Luce, how do you know already?"
"Saw it in the tarot cards."
"Cum quod Agnus aperuit quod quartus sigillum, ego audivi quod quartus creatura dixit, "veni!" Ego vidi, et ibi ante mihi erat autem pallidus equus! Eius equitem erat nomine Mortem, et infernum secuta post eum. Dedit potentia super autem quartus de quod terra necare per gladio, famis et pestilencia, et per quod ferox bestia quod terra."
"Revelation 6, right?"
"Yeah, I know you're into macabre stuff, so what could be more gothic than Death's ascension to the mortal realm?"
"Wicked."
"I don't have any questions, just a warning."
Lana gets close to Leif's face.
"If you do ANYTHING to hurt my precious twin sister, I will make you pay."
Lana retreats back to her seat.
"I have only one question for you, do you want to date Lola?"
Leif ponders this for a moment, before saying…
"Yes."
"Well, good. Lola is kind of a firebrand, and not many people can handle that, but if you could, then that means Lola won't try to force someone to marry her. I remember when we all went nuts over Lincoln's tutor that one time…"
"I don't have any questions." Lily stated
"Ok, I think we're all done here."
Lynn Sr huddles his family together, mumbles can be heard. Eventually, they turn back to him.
"Well, after careful deliberation, we have decided…
…
…
…
"That you have our permission to date Lola."
"Ok, thanks." Leif said, slightly shocked
Scene transition back to 2128 Franklin Avenue.
Rita fires off a volley of questions for me to answer.
"When did this happen?"
"Last week."
"Why Leif?"
"Because he's nice."
"Do you do drugs?"
"No."
"Do you drink?"
"No."
"Do you smoke?"
"No."
"Do you have any STDs?"
"No."
"Are you lying to me, young lady?"
"No."
"Where is he right now?"
"At my house."
"Why?"
"I don't know, probably the same reason you invited me over here."
"Did you know that if something happens to Leif, his brothers will find you and beat you up for letting it happen?"
I was momentarily taken aback.
"No, I didn't know that."
"Well, now you do."
"Come on, mom. I know her better than anyone else here, she wouldn't hurt him." Lexx pleaded
Rita looks at Lexx, puzzled.
"Prince's honor, I swear." He said as he raises his right hand
"Well, Lexx is the brother Leif is the closest to, so if he says it's ok. Then it's fine by me. After all…
Rita gives a glare to Lexx.
"My son, Lexx, wouldn't lie to me, would he?"
"No, I'd never lie to you, mom." He chuckles sheepishly
Rita takes his eyes off of him and adopts a more neutral expression.
"Well it's ok by me. Linka, do you want to say anything to her?"
"Yes, I do. Lola, I just want to tell you one thing."
"What is it?"
"Take care of my brother."
"I will, you have my word."
Linka smiled at me.
"I'll know he'll be happy."
"Alright, Lola. You're free to go. Lexx will walk you home."
"Sure, thanks."
Lexx and I walked to our house, while Leif and Lana walked over to his house. Now that everyone is back where they belong. This chapter of our lives is over. "But there is something I want to share with you. On Valentine's Day, I sent Leif a gift. It was a gift card to some place that had a lot of seafood, I don't quite remember. But either way, one month from that day, I got 2 chocolate pieces from him. Attached was a note that said…"
Do you want to know who doesn't love chocolate? The answer is everywhere, it is all around us. Even now, as you're reading this very note. You can see it when you look out your window, or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to school, when you see other people go to church, when you pay your taxes. This note is an illusion, blinding you to the truth. That everyone that can consume chocolate loves it. This is it, your last chance, after this is no turning back. You eat the white chocolate, and your taste buds will be coated in pure bliss, you will forget all of your troubles and drift off into a peaceful slumber. You eat the 100% dark chocolate, and you'll see just how bitter the world is, so choose, white or black.
I eat both pieces of chocolate. After enjoying both, I notice that there is a false bottom in the box that contained the bar. In it was another note.
"You glutton! You ate both chocolates, didn't you? You were supposed to choose one or the other! Well, I kind of had a feeling you'd eat both of them anyway. Your brother told me that you and your sisters are notorious chocoholics…well, I should tell you what this is about. You were so kind to give me a gift on Valentine's Day, so I thought to return the favor by sending you these 2 artisan-crafted confectioner's chocolates. Happy White Day, Lola. I hoped they were delicious.
The screen pans to the sun even though we see a black screen, we can hear some stuff from the other side. The time card says "2 years later" before fading out. We hear a familiar song. Church bells are ringing as we hear someone speak. It's faint but we can hear this.
"Do you, Leif Loud, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
"I do."
"And do you, Lola Loud, take Leif to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
"I do."
"Then by the power vested in me, I now declare you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride."
We don't see the kiss, but it is assumed he did do it, as raucous cheers erupt a short while afterward. It seems that things are going to be very interesting for our lovebirds now…
Preview
"Wait. Mrs. Loud, haven't I seen you somewhere before?"
"I don't think we've met until today."
"Really, huh…I'm sure I've seen someone that looked like you before…"
Author's Note: It's confirmed, the gender-swapped Louds are NOT related to the originals (in this story, at least) so this doesn't count as multidimensional incest, hooray! Do you think Leif is right? Is Lana the smartest member of the Loud family? Or is Lisa right, in being the only genius in the family? Perhaps there is another, waiting in the wings? Only time will tell.
Lori sarcastically saying that Leif should tutor her in Latin was put in because in the episode Anti Social, Lynn Sr reveals that Lori actually takes Latin!
When Leif is transliterating Revelation 6 (specifically, the 4th paragraph) This is what he says:
"When the Lamb opened the fourth seal, I heard the fourth creature say, "Come!" I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hell followed after him. He gave power over a fourth of the Earth, killing by the sword, famine and plague, and by the wild beasts of the earth. "
The original is this:
"When the Lamb opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, "Come!" I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hades was following close behind him. They were given power over a fourth of the earth to kill by sword, famine and plague, and by the wild beasts of the earth."
It seems like Leif failed and Lisa has a right to be condescending again, but look at the context of how he transliterates it. Specifically the line "He gave power over a fourth of the Earth". In the original translation, it says "They were given power over a fourth of the Earth". In the original, it says Death and Hades were given power, but it doesn't state who. In Leif's version, the opposite is true saying "He gave power", the "he" in this context being the Lamb, but not mentioning Death or [the legions of] Hell, the beings he gave the power to, and yet, they're still there, albeit heavily implied. In my opinion, this makes Leif's version more epic sounding. What do you think?
In an early draft, Leif was going to give Lola a comb for her on White Day. While Lola would have appreciated it, seeing as this present can be used to enhance her beautifulness, in Japanese culture, a comb is the absolute WORST gift you could give! Combs or 櫛 (kushi) have the sounds く(ku) andし (shi), while these words mean nine and four, they sound similar to the word for suffer 苦しむ (kurushimu) and death 死 (shī). Translated, this would mean "death by suffering". So, it was changed to be 2 artisan chocolates, hand crafted by a master chocolatier for the story. And yes, since Leif knows what White Day is, he is at least somewhat knowledgeable in Japanese culture.
