Beckett stormed up the stairs to go and stay in Castle's guest room. She still wasn't sure why. Well okay, she didn't want to fall asleep in a cab, again. Beckett flicked on the light, saw the bed was in fact empty, then turned the light off again. She walked over to the bed and flopped down on it.

Castle was right about one thing: she was agitated. She couldn't believe she had been kidnapped by her friends. Would she ever live that down? She hadn't even put up a struggle. The picture of Castle with a gun to his head had frightened her more than she expected. Obviously, Lanie and the guys had been expecting that reaction because they hadn't even tried to restrain her by knocking her out. With either their fists or drugs. Not that she thought Ryan or Esposito would hit her. Lanie on the other hand, that was another story.

She hadn't figured out where she had been taken or why. When she had heard Castle's voice, she had been relieved. At least they were together and had a chance of survival. Then they had started asking him all those ridiculous questions, and she had tried to scream at him to shut up. He was showing he was weak and they could use that against him.

Except their kidnappers weren't gathering intel for themselves, they were gathering it for her. Ryan, Esposito and Lanie or Nessie, Zorro and Colorado, which were the most stupid codenames, had gotten Castle to reveal things. For her!

The fear in Castle's voice was obvious when they had threatened to hurt her. So was the misery when he told them he felt like he had been dumped by the prettiest girl in school. Richard Castle thought she was the prettiest girl in school, and she had dumped him. Except she hadn't. Schlemming had ruined it for her. She liked Castle's name for him. Beckett was glad her mouth had been gagged when Castle had referred to Gina as the Ice Bitch just as Colorado or rather Lanie had.

Gina! She had ruined it, too. When Castle had needed consoling, Gina had been there. Except Castle shouldn't have needed consoling, he had just needed her to be truthful with him. She had tried to be honest, but it was too late. The damage was already done. Zorro, Nessie and Colorado had tried to fix it for her.

The ridiculous questions weren't so ridiculous now. Gina had gone to the Hamptons, but it had been her idea not Castle's. There had been no sex, and Castle had almost vomited at the idea of herself having sex with Demming.

Castle had been her champion against his would-be kidnappers. When they had suggested she was a lot of work for a notch on his bedpost, he had yelled at them. Castle had defied them by not sitting down when had obviously stood up. He told then that yes he wanted to sleep with her initially, but that he wanted more now. Castle thought she was smart and funny and he loved her.

Beckett gasped as the memory of Castle saying those words. He loved her. The admission had shocked everyone in the room into silence. Castle had then laughed as if his own admission had shocked him too. Richard Castle loved her. He had admitted it to what could have potentially been a bunch of psychopaths. His intention for his invite to the Hamptons had been for her to relax. To rest and get the break he thought she needed. He wanted to take care of her, and while doing so she would get to know the real Castle.

Castle had been open and honest with a bunch of kidnappers, not knowing she was there. His honesty had been met with her making a run for it. Beckett slammed her fist down on the bed before sitting up. She had cried herself to sleep before she had been rudely woken up. Sleep was calling to her, but so was her need to right a wrong.

Beckett climbed out of bed and walked out of the room. She walked down the stairs in the now dimly lit room. Looking around she saw that Castle wasn't there, but their chairs and duct tape had been cleaned away. It's not like they needed it for evidence anyway. Beckett crossed the floor and walked into Castle's study. The Batcave had nothing on this place. To know that some of her favourite sentences had been written within these walls had her trembling. It was potentially here where it all started. Beckett continued through to Castle's bedroom. She had barely taken two steps in when Castle rose up in bed.

"Stop or I'll shoot."

Beckett's eyes widened. "Castle. Since when do you have a gun?"

The lamp next to Castle's bed suddenly filled the room with light.

"I'm sorry, Beckett," he said as he pointed the gun away from her. "It's just a water pistol." He gave the trigger a few squeezes and water shot out.

Beckett rolled her eyes and took a few steps forward. "I can't say I blame you."

"Are you okay?" he asked, pulling the bedding off of his body. "If you want to go home, I won't stop you." Castle stood up and grabbed his phone. "My car is at the Hamptons, but I'll call the service so you won't have to take a taxi. I'll get you a coat and some shoes from Alexis' or Mother's stash."

"Maybe later."

Castle's brows rose. "Later?"

Beckett nodded. "Can we talk?"

"Umm. Yes. Of course. Did you want to go back out there?"

Beckett shook her head and sat down at the end of the bed. "No, here is fine." She looked around the room. "It sounds stupid, but I feel better being in a smaller room."

Castle frowned. "Umm okay."He sat back down on his bed and pulled the covers up. "Cover up if you're cold.

Beckett sent him a smile as she lifted off the bed slightly and half covered her legs with his blankets.

"Thanks." Beckett sat there for a few seconds, picking at her nails.

"So you wanted to talk?" Castle asked.

Beckett nodded. "Yes."

Castle waited. "So, you know that involves talking, right."

Beckett scoffed. "Yeah I know. Listen, Rick,"

"You're calling me Rick now. Ouch, this is the big letdown, right? Kate, its fine."

"Castle, will you just listen to me? You wanted to me to talk, and I'm trying to do that."

Castle nodded. "Okay I'm sorry, go ahead."

"Rick, I'm not saying you don't, but I want to know how?"

Castle narrowed his eyes at her. "I'm sorry, I didn't follow you around that bend."

"You said you love me. Whether you do or not it's up to you. You're right, I can't say that you don't, but I'm trying to figure out how?"

"How can I love you? It's pretty easy, you just let it happen."

Beckett shook her head. "No, I mean you don't even know me."

Castle shrugged as he took in a deep breath. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I don't know you completely, but what I do know about you I love. I want the chance to get to know the rest of you and love that part too. You heard what I said earlier Kate. I'll say it again if you need to hear it."

Beckett lowered her head and bit her lip. "You think I am the prettiest girl in school?" she asked as she raised her gaze to look at him.

She saw a huge grin break out on his face. "You're gorgeous."

Beckett pulled her gaze away from his.

"Castle, I know I'm not the easiest person to get to know. I shut people out, it's what I do. I let you in though, reluctantly. I think it's time I told you why. Why I let you in, but also why I tried to walk away before."

Castle shook his head. "Beckett, as much as I want to hear it, you're right. You're sleep deprived, and probably suffering from a bit of shock, too. Get some sleep, and we can talk later in the day if you still want to."

"I can't sleep. Not while this is on my chest."

Castle leant back against the bedhead. "Okay."

"I was a bit of a hell raiser as a teenager,"

Castle scoffed. "Weren't we all?"

"Well I was after adventure and my parents weren't happy about it. For my birthday, my mother gave me a book, one of your books."

Beckett looked up at Castle to gauge his reaction. He raised his brows but didn't speak.

"My mom told me that what Derrick Storm got up to was real adventures, not getting piercings or tattoos. I threw the book in my clothes hamper and that's where it stayed for ages. Then I got grounded one night and boredom won out. I pulled the book out from under a pile of dirty clothes and read it. The whole thing, in one sitting."

"That's impressive."

Beckett shrugged. "I was bored."

"And you're telling me this why?"

"I fell for Derrick Storm."

"Derrick Storm?" Castle asked surprised.

Beckett bit her lip. "Pathetic huh? Having a crush on a fictional character."

Castle shook her head. "No. Just surprised."

"It's not something I like to admit. A crush might be a bit of an overstatement. He was adventurous and fun, and someone I would have loved to hang with. There wasn't a picture of Derrick on the cover, but there was one of you. So, whenever I thought of Derrick, I started picturing you."

"Me?"

Beckett nodded but wouldn't look at him. She simply pulled one leg up to her chest and rested her head on her knee.

"I settled down a bit and got into college. Then my mom," Beckett gasped.

Castle leaned forward. "Beckett. You don't."

"I wanted Derrick Storm to save me," Beckett gasped through laboured breaths.

"What?"

"I wanted Derrick to save me Castle. I was drowning. I didn't want to go school, to eat, to drink, to speak. I didn't want to live. All I wanted was Derrick Storm to come and save me, for you to come and save me Castle."