"Ever wonder what it's like to grow up in a big family?"-Lincoln Loud, June 5, 2014, 12 words that, unbeknownst to him at the time, will make animation history

Chapter Synopsis: We see what the Loud family has done in the past 18 years


"We'd been planning this family reunion for quite a while now. It was an ill-fated coincidence that Alexa warned me about Lyle's issues on the day before our meetup, and I can't just not go visit my family! After all, it has been 18 years since I've last seen them, and not going would be too evil, even for me!"

Scene transition to the family having breakfast.

"So, do you like it?" I asked

"That depends, did you make it, or did he make it?" Lyle sneered

"It was a joint effort." I assured him "We both made it."

"Sorry, but even though you made this, mom, I can't eat this if dad helped to make it!"

"Why? What's wrong?"

"He helped make it."

"Lyle, please put aside your pettiness and eat. We both worked hard on it."

"No."

"Lyle." My voice turns stern "Your father makes most of our food. You do realize that you're intentionally starving yourself for some petty grudge?"

"Of course, I realize that, mom. But I refuse to associate myself with anything that involves him!"

"Are you sure you don't want it? It's really good." Alexa questioned

"Yes, you can have mine."

Lyle gives his plate of French toast to Alexa, who gleefully gobbles it up.

"It's so…PERFECT!" Alexa praised "You two really are made for each other."

"Aw thanks, Alexa…"

Lyle gags at this assertion. He leaves to go call someone.

"You'd better not try to call the cops on Leif again!" I rebuked


Flashback to Lyle trying to get Leif arrested.

"Yes, this is 911, what is the nature of your emergency?"

"This is Lyle Loud at 1432 Lacrimal Lane. The emergency is that my father had committed first-degree CSC twice. Once, in the year 2034, and again in the year 2040. What makes me say that it's first-degree? Because he coerced my mom into having sex with him."

"Ok, was he armed during the attempted rape?"

"No."

"Did he ever carry out any threats against your mom?"

"No."

"Did your mom ever felt like she was in any danger?"

"No."

"Was she under the influence of drugs or alcohol?"

"No."

("Ha, this is it! Leif is finally going to get his just desserts! Even if the police can't pin first-degree CSC on him, at minimum, he's going to be arraigned on third-degree charges, and that means the police will force him to be on the sex offender registry. I don't think he can handle people calling him a rapist, therefore, his life is ruined, ergo, a victory for me!")

"Well, Mr. Loud, with all the information you've given me here, I can safely deduce that your parents just had sex. Now you said you were at 1432 Lacrimal Lane, correct?"

"Yes, officer."

"Ok, we'll send a squad over there."

"Thanks."

Lyle hangs up. The police arrive within 15 minutes.

"Cops, thank goodness. The rapist is in there." Lyle nudges the police in the right direction while he's pointing to his parent's room.

"Actually, we're looking for Lyle Loud." The lead officer responded

"Oh, that would be me, officer."

"Ok, hands behind your back, kid."

"Wait, what are you…?"

"Lyle Loud, you're under arrest for disorderly conduct. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can, and will, be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford one, you will be provided one by the state."

The lead officer talks to a deputy.

"Cuff him."

The deputy places handcuffs on him and escorts him to the squad car.


The lead officer knocks on the parent's door. Lola opens it.

"Can I help you, officer?"

"Ma'am, we're with the RWPD, can we speak with Lyle's parents?"

"Well, I'm Lyle's mother, Lola Loud."

The officer has a shocked expression.

"Wait, that name sounds familiar. Are you the same Lola Loud that Sergei blacklisted?"

"Hey, that was an accident! It's not my fault if he slipped on a plate after getting PTSD from hearing my voice!"

"Relax, we're not here about that. We're here about Lyle."

"Is there something wrong?"

"Well, he prank called 911, claiming that his father is a rapist."

"Well, that's not true!"

"I believe you, but can both of you come down and take a polygraph, just so we can be sure?"

"Sure."

Leif and Lola get a ride down to the station, where Lyle is being held. Both of them enter the interrogation room, where the proctor administers them to the polygraph machine. Leif and Lola answer the questions, and a few minutes later, the results came back and said they weren't lying. Lola heads to the jail cell where her son is being held.

"Lyle!"

"Mom, get me out of here!"

"They said you prank called 911!"

"I didn't, I told the truth! They wouldn't believe me!"

Lola flags down an officer and asks about Lyle's status as a prisoner.

"Officer, will he have to be in jail?"

"No, he's on $500 dollars bail."

"If I pay it, can he go home?"

"Yes."

Lola pays $500 dollars to bail him out. The 3 of them head back home.

"Oh, thank you so much, mom!" Lyle chimed in

"I don't want to hear it, young man." Lola scolded "You're grounded for two months for trying to get the police to arrest your father. No TV, no video games, no hanging out with your friends, do I make myself clear, Lyle?"

"Yes, mom…" He said dejectedly

The flashback ends.


"That wasn't the last time, either. You've called the cops on Leif so many times, that we actually became friends with the police! Well, us and Alexa, at least. You've been blacklisted." I added

"Relax, mom. I'm not calling the cops…yet. I'm just calling a friend for a school project."

"Oh, ok then. Carry on."

Lyle chats with his friend for a bit and heads back to the dinner table.

"Kids, I have great news! Our family is having a reunion today, and we're going! It's being held at your grandparents' old place, 1216 Franklin Avenue. I bet they'd be so excited to see you two!

"That sounds awesome! I can't wait!" Alexa shouted

"That's actually pretty cool." Lyle admitted

"And about our jobs, I used my accrued vacation days for this, Mr. Oman said it was okay for me."

"Same with me, but I'm pretty sure the park's in capable hands. I'm actually going back to school to become a lawyer!"

"That's great, dad!"

"Pshaw." Lyle scoffed "What? Are you going to be the next Phoenix Wrong? You won't pass the bar, but if you really want to, I'd gladly hit you over the head with one."

"Lyle! I'd do well to remind you to be on your best behavior on this excursion…" I said, glaring at him "You won't try to do anything while we're there, right?"

"Sure, I won't…" Lyle said, intimidated by me

"I will hold you to that, Lyle. Anyway, let's go!"


The quartet travel back to 1216 Franklin Avenue. A large crowd has gathered for the reunion. I start to mingle with the other Louds. Naturally, I visit my side of the family first. I walk up to an important looking businesswoman, next to her is a dashing Hispanic man. Ah, it seems Lori and Bobby have been doing just fine.

"Hey, Lori. How have things been?"

She turns around to look at me.

"Lola, is that you? I almost didn't recognize you."

"Same here, so how have things been?"

"Great, I managed to become CEO of my own company, though it took 28 years to get there. Bobby here now fully runs his grandparents' bodega. For family life, we managed to have a kid together. Lawrence, come over here!"

"A suave looking 17-year-old walks on over."

"Yes mom?"

"This is your aunt Lola, say hello."

"Ah, hola tia. Me llamo es Lawrence. Yo soy el niño de Lori y Roberto." Lawrence said in flawless Spanish

"Ah, lo es bien, mi niño. Yo no tengo mantener hablando en Español, tú eres entre familia aquí. Puedes hablar en ingles." Bobby said to him "Sorry about that, he defaults to Spanish when he meets new people." He said to me.

"Ah, ok. Well, nice to meet you, Lola."

"Likewise."

"And who are those people behind you?"

"It would be your uncle Leif, and your cousins Alexa and Lyle."

"Ah, bien!"

"Well, I'm going to meet up with the rest of the sisters, nice to meet up again, Lori."

"Ok, see you."


Moving down the line, I speak with Leni next.

"Hey, Leni."

"Oh, Lola. Nice to see you again!" She chimed in

I turn to face Alexa and Lyle.

"Guys, I can say that Leni is the nicest one out of all of us."

I turn back to Leni.

"So how have you been?"

"Well, I've been doing some freelance work to get by. But don't worry about me, my clothing line has been real popular with the people who buy it."

"Amazing! Now, forgive me for prying into your life, but how's your family."

"Oh, well I don't have a family. It's very hard for me to tell if a guy is into me or not. But that's fine."

"Well, good luck with that. Here are my kids, Alexa and Lyle."

"Aw! They're so adorable!"

"Well, goodbye Leni."


I eventually managed to find Luna and spoke with her.

"So, how's the band?"

"Rocking! We just finished a tour. It's everything I dreamed it would be!"

"Radical! Now I wanted to introduce Alexa and Lyle to you."

"Nice." She speaks to the kids "Is Lola giving you a hard time, kids?"

"No."

"Well, you can tell me what's up."

"So, is Sam still the lead singer?"

"You know it, brah!"

After that rocking introduction, I meet up with Luan.


"Luan, how have you been?"

"Amazing! I keep booking a full house in nearly every comedy club I've performed in! It took 24 years, but it finally paid off. So anyway, shake for old time's sake?" She extends her palm outward

"No, thanks. I've seen that trick before." I said, noticing the obvious joy buzzer in her hand

"Ah well, you can't beat a classic, right?"

"Anyway, I want you to meet my kids, Alexa and Lyle."

"Oh wow, you have kids? It seems like everyone who wants them has them…except for me…"

"You want children, Luan?"

"Yes. I want to be able to raise my own little bundle of joy just like my other sisters, too."

"Well, good luck."


Lynn couldn't be there in person, but she managed to send a video chat to all of us at the reunion.

"Hey, I'm sorry I can't be at the reunion, but at least I'll be there in spirit. Well, I can tell you that I finally achieved my dreams. I'm playing in the World Series! I bet all of you will see me on TV tonight. Look for jersey number 43, that would be me. I'm pretty sure that my daughter, Lacy, is watching too. The game is starting, I have to go now…bye…"

The call ends.


Ok, It's time. I try and find my brother within the cloud of people. I manage to eventually talk to him.

"Lincoln!"

"Oh no, what did I do to make you mad this time, Lols?!"

"Nothing, Linky! I just want to ask how the past 18 years have been."

"Oh, well. They've been good. I'm working on a project for my new job. I can't say what it is yet, but I'm super excited to show everyone once it's complete!"

"Ok, what about your friends?"

"Well, the gang disbanded, but I'm still friends with Clyde and Ronnie Anne."

"Are you and Ronnie Anne a couple?"

"I wouldn't risk my already tumultuous relationship with our eldest sister, Lori, about that. I mean, she's already married to Bobby! It would be super awkward if Ronnie Anne and I got engaged, too!"

"Yeah, that would be hard to explain…"

"Anyway, I just wanted my kids to meet their uncle."

"So, some poor sap actually married you? I feel so bad for him!" Lincoln joshed "I'm kidding…kind of. You know, I'm surprised that you didn't scare everyone off. You know, you are pretty intimidating, Lola."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"It was. So where are my niece and nephew?"

"They're right here. Alexa, Lyle, say hello to your uncle Lincoln."

"Lincoln? The one who taught our mom how to read?" Alexa asked

"The same." He responded

"Thanks to you, she taught me how to read!"

"Really, is that so?" Lincoln sounded shocked

"Yes, and it's all thanks to you!"

Lincoln's heart felt warm after hearing that.


Ok, moving on…

I managed to evade Lucy and move on to Lana.

"Ah, I saw what you did, Lols. You skipped Lucy."

"Who's that?" Lyle asked

"Aw, are these your kids? They're so cute!"

"Yeah, I just…"

"Look I know you don't get along with Lucy, but her birthday is coming up. You should get her something. At least I'm trying to make an effort to be nice to her."

"Oh, you're just following Lincoln's example, he's the only one to be nice to her, and I can see why. Most people don't want a friend who dabbles in the macabre."

Lana scoffed at me.


"So, what have you been doing, sis?"

"Oh, I work in an office cubicle."

"Corporate drone." Lana commented "Well, I managed to get a doctorate in animal care, and even got a veterinarian's license!"

"Wow, that's amazing!"

Lisa overheard our conversation and butted in.

"You said WHAT?!" Lisa shouted in disbelief "You managed to get a DOCTORATE?! What alternate universe have I been transported to?"

"Yep, I even remember what you said."

"Oh no." Lisa said, as she knows that Lana will rub it in her face

"Perhaps if you valued your education, you could build something with more pizzazz." She said as she quoted Lisa "Well, who's laughing now? Is this a world that no longer makes sense to you?"

"No…congratulations Lana. I didn't think you'd actually pull it off. You have my respect." Lisa said, finally admitting defeat. It only took 26 years, but someone finally managed to end her insufferably smug demeanor!

"Anyway, before you so rudely interrupted. Lola, can you tell me anything that has happened to you in the past 18 years?"

"Ah, I wanted to introduce my kids to their aunt Lana. Alexa, Lyle, come over here and meet my twin sister!"

Both of them see Lana.

"Kids this is my twin sister, Lana."

"Oh, yeah. Isn't that the one who plays in the mud all day, does extremely gross stuff and is somehow still more beautiful than her twin?" Lyle noted. I nudge him in the shoulder while Lana laughs at this

"Yes, that's me."

"So, Lans. How've you been?"

"Oh great, I even managed to have a son."

Lana gestures him to come over.

"Landon, this is your aunt Lola."

"Hi, Lola."

"He's a bit shy but super smart." Lana leans over to Lisa "not as smart as YOU, but still…"

Lana leaves, while Lisa finishes her interjection.

"Before you ask, sassy sister unit. I'm fine, I am working on solving all of mankind's problems, as such, there is no time to waste from me trying to copulate, are these answers satisfactory to you?"


"Yeah, lets visit my youngest sister, Lily." I state

I manage to find her, she looks so different now…

"Hey, Lily."

"Lola? It's been too long." She stated

"I've been doing great, you?"

"Well, I have my own photography business that's starting to take off."

"That's nice. I want to introduce my children to you. Alexa, Lyle?"

They know the drill by now.

"Awesome! I haven't found a boyfriend yet, but I'm still looking."

Lily leaves. Leif takes over while I move toward my parents.

And now, kids, it's time for you to meet my side of the family.

"Mom, wait, come back! Don't leave me with this loser!" Lyle pleaded

"Shut it, Lys! What if one of Leif's brothers heard that?"

He promptly shuts up.


Leif goes in reverse order, so he introduces them to Leon first.

"Breaking News! Long lost siblings reunite after 18 years apart, more at 11." Leon said like an anchorman "But that's not news to you. How've you been, Leif?"

"Great, baby bro. I want my kids to meet their uncles and so, their meeting with you first."

"Hold the phone, folks! I think the search is over! Yep, this is the most adorable niece and nephew on Franklin Avenue!" Leon continued

"Does he always do this?" Lyle questioned

"You know, I'm not sure."

"Oh, I can stop if you want me to, but it's just too fun to do the newscaster voice." Leon continued "Well it looks like our special guest is signing off, thank you and good midday!"


Leif leaves and moves on to Levi.

"Hello, intelligence unit. How has time progressed for you in the last three decades?"

"Don't mock me, Leif. But they're fine. I've just found a way to help astronomers reach Proxima Centauri-b by the year 2060."

"But doesn't NASA have a program called Breakthrough Starshot for that?"

"It won't work, the probes are so fragile that a speck of dust could destroy them. And since the universe is filled with matter…"

"Ok, I just want you to meet Alexa and Lyle."

"Well, why didn't you just say so?"

He looks at them.

"Ok, they're kind of adorable. Now, if you'll excuse me…"


Levi leaves. Lexx is seen hanging around somewhere within the crowd, but Leif manages to talk to him.

"Dude! How've you been?"

"Oh, great."

"So, is your acting job making any progress?"

"Not too good, I can only get parts in Japanese commercials and shoddy B-movies."

"Aw, dude. Don't worry, I'm sure after enough crappy B-movies, you'll get your big break."

"Thanks, little bro."

"So why are you hiding?"

"Ah, my wife wants me to come along to her family reunion, but I'm too intimidated by her to be seen alongside her."

"Really, who is it?"

"Well, her name is Lana…"

"Wait, the one from when us twins were a quartet in school, Lana Loud? My wife's twin sister, that Lana Loud?"

"Yes."

"So, did you ask her?"

"Uh, she asked me."

"Well, I want you to meet my children, Alexa and Lyle."

"Awesome, they remind me of us when we were kids."

"Lexie, where are you?"

"Uh oh, that's her! If she comes over here, you never saw me." Lexx says as he flees


Leif walks over a few feet before Lars jumpscares him.

"AH! Don't do that bro!"

"Sorry, Leif."

"So, how's the demon hunting going? Have you reached Winchester status yet?"

"No."

"Winchester?" Alexa asked him

"Oh, see, Lars is into this show called "Supernatural", which has 2 brothers, Sam and Dean, hunting paranormal stuff (mostly demons), as a part of their father's legacy. Also, I think it's personal for them since a demon killed their mother, Mary, because the brothers are the chosen ones, destined to save Earth from the forces of Heaven and Hell, or something like that, I don't really follow the show."

"Dude, spoilers!" Lars admonished

"Sorry. Anyway, here are my children, Alexa and Lyle."

"Meh, too light for my taste."

And just as mysteriously as he appeared, Lars fades away, his shadow retreating within the midday sun.


Leif managed to find Linka just hanging around.

"Hey, little bro. Is Lola protecting you?"

"Yeah, she is."

"Good, so how have you been?" Linka asked

"Fine, I just wanted my children to meet one of their aunts. Alexa, Lyle, this is Linka, my sister."

"Aw, cute kids."

"Well, you can tell me if anything goes wrong, ok."

"I will."


Leif moves on to talk with Lane.

"So, how's comedy?"

"No laughing matter, Leif."

"I want to show you my kids, Alexa and Lyle."

"I guess you aren't kidding around."

"Please, stop."

"Well, here they are."

"So adorable!"

Luke butts in to their conversation.

"Oh wow, are these my niece and nephew? Good job, little bro!"

"Ah, and Luke here is an audiologist, he messes with sounds."

"The only sound I hear is of idle chatter. Well, great to meet you. I can't wait to show you my infrasonic and ultrasonic cannons!"


Both Lane and Luke leave, Loni approaches them.

"Well, hello, my cute niece and nephew."

"Ah, kids this is your uncle Loni. He's nice."

"So, how've you've been, Leif?"

"Ah, I work as a park ranger, so that's good."

"Have there been any bears trying to steal pic-a-nic baskets?"

"No."

"Has there been an annoying groundskeeper who keeps shouting "my mom!" at everything he sees?"

"No."

"Does your boss have a meat addiction?"

"No."

"That's great."

"So, how's the construction business going?"

"Good, they pay for me to stay off-site. But I want to help them so much…"

"Aww, they just don't know how lucky they are to have you, Loni."

"Thanks, little bro."


Leif then goes to his eldest brother Loki. Who's fully decked out in military gear.

"Wow, you're like a living armory!" Leif commented

"Thanks, little bro." Loki stated, not breaking his laser-like focus "I've managed to do something in my life and joined the Green Berets, the most elite American paramilitary unit in existence, as well as the most elite squadron in the Special Forces. I'm not going to lie, the training there is super brutal, and I almost flunked out several times, but I made it."

"Does your unit have a pretentious Latin motto, like all the other branches of the military?"

"You shut your filthy mouth!" Loki yelled at him, he then talks normally "Sorry, little bro, but you just disrespected America, and we can't have that."

"What? But I didn't disrespect America… I just wanted to know if your unit had a motto."

"We do, but you probably don't know it."

""Let me guess, is it "De Oppresso Liber?""

Loki is stunned.

"Did you just look that up on the internet, bro?"

"No, it says it on your badge."

He looks and there is indeed a badge on his uniform that says the motto.

"Also, I took Latin in college." Leif pointed out "But that says, "To oppress the free", isn't that the opposite of what America's military is trying to do?"

"It's actually "to free the oppressed", Leif." Loki clarified

"Oh, then it should be "Ad Liber Quod Oppresso.""

"Why are we talking about Latin mottos?"

"Because you're in the military. Speaking of which, do you have any declassified information you'd like to share? Perhaps thrilling tales of your harrowing exploits."


"Well, I'm off duty, and these documents were just recently open to the public, but you know how the US and South Korea have a joint agreement to send an assassination squad to kill North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un before he launches nukes on us?"

"Yes."

"Well, we just finished. South Korea confirmed that their squad killed Kim Jong Un, right now, during the mass panic, South Koreans are attempting to deal with the dissenters and loyalists to the Kim regime. As well as killing or capturing anyone with the name "Kim", after that. Korea can begin true reunification."

"Wow, that sounds awesome."

"Yes, but first, the Koreans are locked in the "civil war" phase. Unlike last time, however, China won't interfere, because they said Kim brought this on himself by threating to nuke us one too many times. They even heard his declaration of war by dropping 10 hydrogen bombs onto America. He even said he wasn't kidding and wanted to purge the evil West from the face of the Earth.

"And the refugee crisis?"

"China has reluctantly agreed to let some of the North Koreans in, but they very clearly stated that they can't hold everyone."

"Oh, I see."

"It's all temporary, hopefully. Once the Koreas become whole again, the crisis will ease off of China, and peace will return to the region."


"Anyway, here are my kids, Alexa and Lyle."

"So, have you killed anyone yet?"

"It is an atrocity of war, and I'm not proud of it, but we only kill truly evil people." Loki acknowledged

"So, are you good with guns or knives?" Lyle asked

"Well, Lyle. I'm better with knives but can kill with both."


Eventually, the intercom blares, and the entire family lines up in front of the 2 Ritas and 2 Lynn Srs.

"Everybody, thank you all for coming here." Rita exclaimed "Now I want all of you to meet the grand-patriarch of the Loud House, my father, Albert."

Albert eventually managed to use his wheelchair to get on stage. He's hooked up to an oxygen machine. He may have been taking it to people all his life, but not even he can take it to old age. He looks withered and decrepit, but one could still see that he was a badass when he was in his prime.

All of the sisters and Lincoln appear in front of him.

"Ha-ha." Albert tried to say as boisterous as ever, but one can see his age catch up to him. "I'm glad my grandchildren were able to take some time out of their lives to see me."

He continues.

"And I can see that some of you had children of your own. Well, great-grandkids, let me tell you, I know I don't look like much now, but I was in the army once. And I've also done many amazing feats for a man of my age, as my grandson can attest to."


Lincoln spoke up.

"He's right. He's eaten an entire Chinese buffet, took out an entire platoon of Navy SEALS in a paintball war, single-handedly. And on a lighter note, he's way more limber than most, as he's danced, played laser tag, rode bumper cars, he can drink Flippee's™ extremely fast without getting brain freeze, mountain climb, he won a mechanical bull riding tournament, he streaked during a live baseball game (for some reason), played the sax in a heavy metal band, and finally, he skywrote "Pop-pop rules" before skydiving out of a plane that he was piloting, and that was all in one day!" Lincoln reminisced, and letting his grandfather gain the admiration of his great-grandchildren.

"Wow, great-grandad is so cool!"

"I wish I could be as awesome as him one day."

"How can someone be that awesome?"

"This man is a living legend."

"Ha-ha, but that was 30 years ago. Sadly, my age is catching up with me. If I have any advice for you, it's to always live in the moment. It's what I've always done."

"Say, I think I know where I got my determination and winning attitude from." I admitted

"Yeah, but you gloat about it, unlike Pop-pop. He's humble when he wins, and you're not." Lincoln countered

"Well, it was nice to see all of you. I say that this family reunion is a success." Lynn Sr announced


My family and I went back to our house, after enjoying a successful family reunion.

"Man, your grandfather is so cool." Alexa admitted to me

"Yes, he is. But I don't think that he can last much longer…" I admit "His health has declined a lot in the past 18 years."

"I worry about him. But enough about that, we still have to deal with Lyle."


Preview

"Alexa, I'm putting you in charge of the house while I'm gone. You're going to keep watch on Lyle for me and see if he's up to anything bad. Tell me if anything happens, ok?"

"Yes, mom."


Author's Note: We see that Lola and Leif made breakfast together. Leif is the one who cooks most of their meals, and he's kind of decent at everything. Lola is exemplary when it comes to desserts, but she's only slightly above average on anything else. In some states, all sex crimes are bundled together into what's known as CSC, or criminal sexual conduct. It just so happens that Michigan is one of those states. When Leif is translating the Green Beret's motto, the phrase "Ut liber oppresso" also works, but "Ad liber quod oppresso" is the literal transliteration.

If you're wondering where boy Lynn is, he's not here. He never attended the reunion. I bet he's having the time of his life, having the house all to himself. I'd say he has at least 2 hours to practice whatever sport his little heart desires without any annoying siblings interrupting him.